Tag: the United States

Categories
Weddings

These are the trending, political debates ending relationships everywhere

[Couple having a disagreement] via Anna Shvets from Pexels

 “We can disagree and still be friends – Yeah, about pizza toppings, not racism. Gtfo my face”. I’ve seen this meme circulating lately, taken from William Vercetti’s Twitter Status, and it’s just so apt. There are some things on which you can agree to disagree – but if your partner tries to debate and justify any form of oppression, how is that not the ultimate deal breaker for you?

Read on for the biggest political reasons ending relationships world-wide:

Debates over Donald Trump:

The domestic disputes over Donald Trump are so huge, that it even has its own term: “The Trump Effect” – Coming to a Marriage Near You. Okay so I made the tagline up, but you must agree – it fits. A year into Trump;s service, a 2017 poll showed that 11% of Americans ended a serious relationships due to political differences.  Because voting for Trump means voting for sexism, anti-abortion, racism, white supremacists, police brutality, xenophobia, the list goes on.

 

Ever heard of wokefishing? It’s a term writer Serena Smith coined to describe people (usually men) pretending they’re feminists, or into social justice, because it helps them score more with the ladies.

I’m not even American and Trump’s beliefs set me into a blind rage, so I can’t fathom waking up happily next to someone who’s marked a blasphemous, black X next to Donald Trump’s name.

Whilst catfishing may be a huge fear for men, womxn are more fearful of being wokefished and then waking up one day to realize their partner voted for Trump. I’m not even American and Trump’s beliefs set me into a blind rage, so I can’t fathom waking up happily next to someone who’s marked a blasphemous, black X next to Donald Trump’s name. “But honey, I did it for the economy!” he cries, as I set fire to all his belongings. Whilst non-Americans can’t end a relationship with someone for actually voting for Trump, it’s certainly a political debate rearing its ugly head and causing relationship unrest in many other countries, too. 

Debates over BLM:

It still blows my mind that people try and argue against this ongoing protest. There are the well-known “buts” and “all lives matter!” which was met with “um that’s what we’re saying, yo!?”

If you ever hear someone advocating for equality and your first word in response is “but..”, I hate to break it to you, but you’re the problem.

Another classic but awful “but” is “Black people kill Black people too!” That’s like saying – hey I’m dying of cancer and someone pipes in that pneumonia can kill you too. 

If you ever hear someone advocating for equality and your first word in response is “but..”, I hate to break it to you, but you’re the problem. If it’s your parent, colleague, or sister arguing with you, I get that maybe it’s tougher to end these bonds over what to them may be considered trivial (which it shouldn’t be). But if it’s who you thought you chose as your life partner; someone you’re about to make every life decision together with, it’s much more important to call it quits. 

Debates over #MeToo:

What is it about society that doesn’t want to believe sexual abuse victims? Is it perhaps too traumatic for us to deal with that our brain just shuts down and yells too. much. to compute. Heck, I don’t want to believe a president, or priest, or policeman is capable of rape and murder, either.

But let’s leave it up to the facts, shall we: Out of all the sexual violence offenses reported in Europe , UK and the US, only 2-6% are found or suspected to be false. Of course that doesn’t include the millions of cases left unreported, or reported too late because of the ridiculous stigma attached to the victim and the high cost of legal bills.

I’ve had to unlearn and relearn a million things about my gender that I was once brainwashed to believe.

It’s like, why would someone lie about an experience like that? If your partner doesn’t believe rape survivors, or adds anything to the discussion with a “why do women wear revealing outfits”, or if they spit with wild ferocity: “not all men!”, then please, do yourself a favor and dump their ass. 

Debates over Sexism:

Whilst I am a strong advocate for all the above, I’m gladly not under Trump’s reign. I am white, and I am thankfully not a victim of sexual violence. But as a woman, sexism is something I know everything about.

Because I promise you – that sexist “joke” is not funny, no matter how many times you are gaslit into believing it is.

I’ve had to unlearn and relearn a million things about my gender that I was once brainwashed to believe. Arguing with my father, my male friends, my colleagues, on issues I have formally studied as if they were just mere opinions of mine, makes my blood boil. While a lot of the time I bite my tongue and think, “choose your battles”, other times my beating heart tells me that I have chosen.

If you’re anything like me, you won’t be able to stand even a sexist meme circling your boyfriend’s group chats.  (And rightfully so!) So if your partner, friend, or family member is being sexist, you need to call them out and you need to have that discussion with them. And if you still don’t get through, it’s over boo. Because I promise you – that sexist “joke” is not funny, no matter how many times you are gaslit into believing it is.

You’re entitled to your opinion, of course. You and your partner can have debates on all sorts of things, from ice cream flavors to Netflix series; but basic human rights is not one of them. So watch out for those red flags everybody! Especially ones that read “Make America Great Again”.  

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Categories
The Environment 2020 Elections Inequality

President Trump’s four year long war on science needs to come to an end

[A firefighter walks across the street under the smoky skies from wildfires in San Francisco] via unsplash
[A firefighter walks across the street under the smoky skies from wildfires in San Francisco] via unsplash

The past four years have been irreversibly affected by efforts from the Trump administration to limit the use of science in policy making. During this administration’s tenure all of the progressive climate reforms made by its predecessors have been reversed – the United States removed itself from The Paris Agreement and the wildfires raging across the West Coast have doubled in size causing the forced evacuations of more than 90,000 residents. To make matters worse, these fires show no sign of slowing down as increased emissions from heat-trapping gases have led to warmer and drier conditions in the area. The flames which have torn across the West Coast thus far in 2020 indicate the most active fire season on record. As the climate warms, the wildfires will continue to grow larger and more frequent. Still, President Trump denies the enormity of the threat presented by climate change. Our nation cannot afford another four years of his environmental inaction.

Both presidential debates last month included questions regarding climate change, prompting the candidates to speak on their plans to rectify the situation. But here’s the thing—there is no rectifying it. Global warming has worsened with every passing year since at least 1950. The only viable option left—apart from laying in the grave which has been dug for all living beings—is to try to slow down the progress of global warming and not allow the earth to become entirely unlivable for the future generations. Perhaps this is a classic case of too little, too late.

Since taking office President Trump has invalidated the well-known fact that carbon dioxide emissions are caused by human activities, labeling it “alarmist.” Instead, he has held onto the American coal industry as well as domestic oil production for dear life, therefore accelerating fossil fuel development. On the debate stage a few Thursday’s ago, the president proudly stuck up his faux green thumb and proclaimed that his fervent solution to save the environment is to plant more trees.

On the other hand, Joe Biden’s plan is only a little less ashy. His campaign promises a strict reduction of net carbon emissions through the creation of new energy-efficient homes and electric vehicle charging stations—but there is a big discrepancy. The former vice president cites support of the promotion of clean energy while simultaneously assuring voters that the jobs associated with natural gas production will remain secure. So, he must be lying to someone. A real transition from fossil fuels toward renewable energy will inevitably result in the elimination of the oil and coal industries. At the rate in which the world is warming, this elimination might need to come sooner than we’d expect, leaving millions of working class Americans out of work. But, at least it’s a step away from immediate and total destruction of the earth.

The hottest year ever recorded was in 2016, with 2019 coming in a close second place by less than one-tenth of a degree Fahrenheit. Right now, there is an increased urgency to implement real change because doom is impending. Whoever winds up in the Oval Office next must plan for the economic pitfalls that will come along with such a change—but nonetheless ensure that the change happens, and fast. That is why it is imperative that all U.S. citizens who are eligible to vote do so today. In more ways than one, we hold the fate of the world in the palms of our hands. 

 

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Categories
Coronavirus Race Inequality

America’s COVID-19 protests are a lesson in hypocrisy

(Protesters at the Capitol in Michigan during anti-lockdown protests) Via KYLE KAMINSKI lansingcitypulse.com
(Protesters at the Capitol in Michigan during anti-lockdown protests) Via KYLE KAMINSKI lansingcitypulse.com

On August 9th 2014, Darren Wilson, a white police officer, shot an innocent, unarmed, black teenager, Michael Brown, in Ferguson, MO. For many in America, this terrifying incident was just a glimpse into the severe racial discrimination that black people regularly face in the hands of an oppressive system. I remember what happened afterwards, when that neighborhood rightly broke out into a protest that lasted for weeks, which prompted parallel spouts of #BlackLivesMatter activism in similar neighborhoods. I remember the tear gas and rubber bullets that the police, wearing riot gear, confronted protesters with, and I remember the military style tanks that were deployed by the Missouri National Guard to quell those protests. 

I watched again in 2016, when NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick refused to stand during the national anthem at games, opting to kneel instead, in protest of this country’s treatment of racial minorities. He is quoted by NFL Media to have said, “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people are getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” Many other athletes followed suit. 

I remember President Trump fanning the flames of white supremacy when he said that Kaepernick should leave the United States and “find a country that works better for him.” From that moment on, Kaepernick was the one who was labeled by a large sanction of Americans as being unpatriotic and disgraceful. 

Then, in 2017, neo-Nazis gathered for the “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, VA. Hundreds of white nationalists joined forces to protest the removal of Confederate monuments, bearing torches and shields. As the night progressed it turned bloody. One counter-protester and two police officers died, others were badly beaten. Two days later, during a press conference, President Trump said, “You had some very bad people in that group, but you also had people that were very fine people on both sides.” 

Fast forward to this week, and I have seen and continue to see thousands in states like Michigan, New York, California, Nevada, and Illinois rally against statewide stay-at-home orders amidst the coronavirus pandemic that has so far taken the lives of nearly 70,000 Americans. None of those among the “anti-lockdown” and #reopen protests are donning facemasks or practicing safe social distancing. 

This video is just one snippet from the protests this weekend, but it speaks volumes. None of these police officers are in riot gear, there appears to be no army tanks, and the protesters are not met with tear gas or rubber bullets. Those who are participating in the anti-lockdown demonstrations are aggressively close to officers and are even behaving viciously while putting their hands on them. But nothing happens to them. These protesters, who are historically the ones who respond with “just obey authority” when a black person is beaten or murdered at the hands of the police, are displaying their ignorance for world to see. The cops too are somewhat unable to see danger when it comes to white people, even when the danger is clear, because that is the narrative that has been ingrained into our society. Meanwhile, according to that same narrative, there is an ever present danger when it comes to black people, even when no danger exists.

This is hypocrisy in America.

In Michigan, angry protesters who want the stay-at-home order that has been in place since March 23 to end forced their way into the statehouse. Many were armed gunmen, carrying confederate flags, and wearing Trump/MAGA gear, while waving signs that read, “Give me liberty or give me COVID-19”. The crowd attempted to move up to the second floor of the Michigan Capitol building, where Governor Gretchen Whitmer was, but they were met by police blocking the door. 

The predominantly white demonstrators, though a minority opinion in their state, are mostly concerned about the economy. They are frustrated and feeling oppressed—which is quite a conflation—by the current lockdown order. They would like to see some normalcy.  Of the protests in Michigan, President Trump tweeted: 

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1256202305680158720

What about the families who have lost loved ones to this virus, don’t you think that they are very good people who want their lives back again? 

Or, better yet, what about the community in Ferguson who watched while Michael Brown’s body laid in the street for hours under the August heat after he was murdered in front of them. America should have given in a little. America should have put out the fire a long time ago. These are, indeed, very good people. They are the ones who are angry, every single day because of the reality they face. They want their lives back, safely. 

And, if we really wanted to talk about patriotism, the anti-lockdown protesters would, in a just world, be the folks that are at the brunt of those “find a country that works better” remarks. These unpatriotic and disrespectful demonstrations are being done at the expense of Americans who are working and risking their lives on the frontline. The protesters are effectively going against everything they ever claimed to have stood for except for one… racism.

Categories
Love + Sex Love

7 tips on how to stay sane when you and your partner completely disagree politically

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We all have small disagreements and arguments within our relationships, but when you’re far Left and your partner is far Right…things get particularly messy.  Specifically, I am pretty Liberal and my boyfriend is a Moderate Republican.  Let me just say that the Republican/Democratic debates, along with the Primaries were rough times for us.  We both like to stay informed about the current political climate, but it seriously stresses our relationship sometimes.

But we have made it through over a year together and survived the Primaries, the General Election and the first 100 days of Trump.  But sometimes you need to choose yourself over your relationship.  If there is a lack of mutual respect for each other’s opinions or they try to change you, then you need to get out of there.  Remember that these are suggestions, but the most important thing is to take care of yourself.

Here are some tips on how to deal when your partner has severely different political leanings than yourself.

1. Recognize where they are coming from

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His father is a cop and his parents worked hard for what they have.  I grew up in Newtown, CT and therefore have a very real hatred of guns, and I also have a parent who had a severe mental illness.  Both of our backgrounds make for interesting perspectives and insights, and it is important to address their perspective.  Respect where they come from.

But they have to respect where you come from too.  He recognizes that I am terrified of guns and that is not something that will change.  He gets me and I get him and we remember that when we talk about our differing opinions.

2. Take a deep breath

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Remember that life is short, and you have made the decision to work hard for this relationship.  Sometimes you get angry and frustrated with their ideas, and there are some ideas that may be deal breakers for you, but always try to discuss them before pulling the cord.  You have to decide where the line needs to be drawn.  He knows what statements are off limits for me and I know his.  This mutual respect is what’s important for beneficial debates.

Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s too frustrating and that’s when we end the conversation and try to remember why we like each other in the first place.

3. Have an open and honest conversation in person

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Texting is probably the worst way to discuss your issues.  I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten more frustrated than necessary because we were talking over text.  Texting doesn’t explain the emotion or physical aspect of the person’s opinions.  We are long distance, so when stuff starts to become too much, we stop the conversation and choose to continue it when we can actually talk about it in real life.

When you text, you can become harsher than you mean to be and nobody wants that.  Or, sometimes I read a headline and then I text him with a,”hold it, I am not talking about this one yet,” and that’s how it is!

4. When you know that a tense political debate is about to arise, hold their hand

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It is always harder to get mad at someone when you are making physical contact with them.  Holding their hand or just sitting closer to them reminds you of why you like them in the first place.  Something about holding their hand of just being nearer to them reminds you of their humanity.

When debates arise, it can be easy to forget that you’re arguing with someone you love, and you can start to see them as their opinions only.  Physical touch combats this issue and helps you keep calm.

5. Actually, listen to them and open your mind

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I’m not saying that you have to turn Republican or Libertarian or a Tea Party member or anything other than what you are, but just listen to what they say.  Try to see things from their perspective.  Try to avoid phrases that are demeaning in nature or negate the validity of your partner’s thoughts and ideas.  Don’t say “that’s stupid” or “what a dumb opinion” or “you’re wrong.”  These can hurt your relationship.

Instead, ask what the reasons are behind their opinions and why they think a certain way.

6. If you are both too passionate about it and the strain is too much…just take the topic off the table

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Sometimes you have to say “Nope, not gonna talk to you about *something outrageous that happened in Congress*” and there you go.  It is important to set your limits.  Let them know about a certain opinion of yours that is just simply not going to change, and they should do the same.

Mutual respect and understanding are all you need to make it work.

7. Take care of yourself

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Sometimes relationships are just not meant to be.  Sometimes you have to pack in the towel and call it a day.

If it is too much of a strain on yourself then you need to just get out of the relationship.  Now, I’m not suggesting that you should just break it off after one political debate, but if it has been some time and there is no respect for each other than you two might not be meant to be.  It’s always important to take care of yourself before you can try to care for others as well.

It’s always easier to date people who are similar to yourself, but what’s the fun in that?  I care about my boyfriend so I make an effort to listen to his ideas and try to forget that he’s Republican and I am a die-hard Liberal.  We listen and discuss and we have a well-rounded opinion on the American politics of today.  But for relationships to work, there always needs to be a high level of respect for both members.  So even when they frustrate you, remember that they are a human being who you care about.

Relationships are partnerships, and that means compromise is a vital component.

Categories
Politics The World

Irish women are going on strike for abortion rights

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I’ll let you in on a not-so-secret: I’m a dual citizen of the United States and the Republic of Ireland. My father was born and raised in Ireland, and fell in love with my mom after he immigrated to America. While I’ve never lived in Ireland, I’ve visited numerous times, and have tons of family living there.

As a citizen of both countries, their domestic issues hit me twice as hard. So imagine how it feels when I see violations against women’s health rights in both places.

To be struck with disappointment from both sides of the ocean isn’t easy. As a woman, I feel acutely connected with the issue of bodily rights – more specifically, abortion rights. In the U.S., the fight for free and unabashed freedoms regarding our sexual and bodily health is a constant push-and-pull. In Ireland, it’s quite the same.

To put it simply: Ireland has some of the strictest rules regarding abortion worldwide. Abortion is allowed only when the mother’s life is at risk – not in cases of incest, rape, or fetal anomaly. Irish family planning can only be done in person, as it is illegal to provide information over the phone. Irish services have been said to intimidate women and misguide them in order to reduce their likelihood of traveling to another country to have the abortion. There are agencies that try to provide a different type of guidance that is more accepting and open, but the government of Ireland is strict on abortions.  The typical punishment for having an abortion is up to 14 years in prison. About 5,000 women travel abroad in order to have abortions.

Women have been trying to get around these laws for years.  In the Netherlands, a non-profit called “Women on Web” has been aiding Irish women in obtaining abortion pills such as mifepristone and misoprostol.  Two drugs that are considered essential by the World Health Organization.

Irish law considers a fetus to have the same civil rights as the woman does. Recently, women have taken up protesting against these strict laws.  And tomorrow, women will wear black, and will strike from work. Women have also been told to wear black on this day.  The point of this day is to withdraw from typical matronly duties, and therefore show lawmakers the importance of women in Ireland.  They believe their rights should be respected more than the current law allows.

Specifically, “Our demand is that the Irish government call a referendum to repeal the 8th Amendment by the 8th of March. If not, Ireland will strike.”  There have been attempts in the past to change this law, but none have worked and women are not at their wit’s end.

Abortion in the United States has been a long-contested issue.  However, since the supreme court ruling of 1973 “Roe vs. Wade” the United States has allowed abortions.  Each state has their own specific rules and regulations, but abortion is much easier to obtain in the United States than Ireland.  Most states do not allow public funding for abortions except if the women’s life is in danger or in cases of rape or incest.  And 17 states use their own state funds for medically necessary abortions.  This means that federal funding does not go towards abortions.

Since the presidential election of 2016, there has been controversy over Planned Parenthood.  The argument has been to defund Planned Parenthood because of its abortion aid.  However, federal funding does not go towards abortions, or really towards Planned Parenthood at all.  According to Planned Parenthood, 60% of federal funding comes through patients who use Medicare and Title X.  This means that the clinic treats these individuals and then receives compensation for their expenses from the government. The argument that funding goes towards abortions is incorrect because there is already a law that prohibits it. The Hyde Amendment already prohibits abortions for Medicaid users except in terms of rape, incest or threat to the women’s health.

The only person who has control over what is growing inside of them is the mother and the father. Those two created the baby and those two have responsibility for that baby, whether you are in Ireland or the United States.  Abortions are important, because without safe procedures, women will still get abortions but in unsafe and more dangerous ways.  The reality of the abortion arguments is that no woman walks into an abortion clinic happily, or skipping or humming a tune.  No woman decides to kill something that is in her own body on a whim.  The seriousness of the necessity for safe abortions is immense, and I applaud the women who are fighting against strict and unfair laws.