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Editor's Picks Self-Care Fashion Lookbook

Here’s what those “comfy” Insta-famous sneakers are really like

When it comes to shoes – especially sneakers – you know that the look is never really that universal. You’ll see the shoes on the model, the shoes in real life, but they’ll always have a unique fit on you.

So we decided to do something different when we discovered Cariuma, and instead, had our team try them on, instead. Who better to tell the truth, right?

These six women – Deema, Yannise, Meagan, Aafiyah, Tamanna, and Tiara – are the willing testers.

Meagan (top left): I work in an office setting so I’m all heels and flats during the week and typically wear booties or flipflops (depending on the weather) on the weekends. Sneakers? Not so much. I never felt like I had the legs or style to wear them without looking a little silly. I mean, of course, I wear them to the gym, but that’s different! 

Aafiyah (top middle): I don’t really wear sneakers, choosing instead to wear boots. I always thought that I wouldn’t be able to buy sneakers that are reasonably priced and still be able to dress well. Instead, I usually choose to wear boots and my past experiences with sneakers? Nothing to write home about. 

I never felt like I had the legs or style to wear them without looking a little silly. —Meagan

Tamanna (top right): Sneakers are my everyday go-to, but finding shoes that are stylish, sustainable, and comfortable is close to impossible. In my experience, I have to compromise at least one of these factors for the rest. Because of my chronic pain, I prioritize comfort, ending up with sneakers that allow me to painlessly go through my day.

Tiara (bottom left): I’ve always been a big sneakerhead. I grew up in the South and it’s just a part of the culture there. Every year, I was always so excited to pick out a new pair of sneakers to show off to my friends. To this day, I’ll quickly grab a pair of sneakers over anything else. Comfort is a must, though, otherwise, I get plantar fasciitis, which exacerbates my flat feet and bad ankles.

Deema (bottom middle): More often than not, my carefully-curated sneaker collection can’t be used out of fear of creasing and wear. As someone who wears sneakers 75% of the time, this can be a bit of a struggle. Logical? Not really, but hey, aesthetics matter to me.

I’ve always been a big sneakerhead. I grew up in the South and it’s just a part of the culture there. —Tiara

Yannise (bottom right): I don’t remember when it became the norm, but sneakers have always been my go-to for casual footwear. If I had to choose my favorite brand of sneakers before this experiment, I’d have to say Converse. Their style has always appealed to me, and can really elevate an outfit. I’ll wear them down until they have nothing but holes in them, which I prefer anyway!

Since Cariuma’s always touting just how eco-friendly, consciously-made, and comfortable their shoes are, we definitely had to put them to the test. So we each got a pair and wore them every day for a week. Here’s what happened.

…some thoughts while waiting for the packages to arrive…

Meagan: Frankly, I was a little worried. I kept thinking, ugh they’re suede so I can’t wear them everywhere, plus I have no idea how to match sneakers to my outfits.

Deema: I’ve been a borderline sneakerhead since I wore my first pair of classic Adidas. When I discovered Cariuma, I was hesitant. Ordering shoes that were ethically sourced was something that was largely new to me. In a way, ordering the clean-cut OCA Low sneakers in Off White Canvas felt like a way to “give back.” 

Deema wearing Cariuma OCA Low Off White Canvas sneakers.
Deema wearing Cariuma OCA Low Off White Canvas sneakers.

Tiara: Before the shoes arrived, I assumed they wouldn’t work for me. Generally, canvas shoes that look similar to the OCA Low sneakers that sport the flat bottom shape are absolutely terrible for my feet. I was also worried they wouldn’t fit since my feet are wide (flat + wide feet = difficult to find cute shoes).

Deema Alawa / The Tempest Media, Inc.

The shoes we got were a variety of OCA Low and High sneakers. Sustainable and eco-conscious materials are a big part of Cariuma’s brand, and they use everything from canvas, rubber, and leather (both vegan and not) to make their stuff.

So some of us really loved getting the packages in the mail. Like, really, really loved it.

Tamanna: The first thing that caught my eye when I received the shoes was minimal packaging. I have reused, repurposed, and recycled every part of the packaging, which is rare for an international online order. 

Tamanna showing off her Cariuma OCA Low Navy Canvas sneakers.
Tamanna showing off her Cariuma OCA Low Navy Canvas sneakers.

Aafiyah: The box is bright and colorful. I love it! To this day, I still put my shoes back in the box so that I have an excuse to keep the box.

I have reused, repurposed, and recycled every part of the packaging, which is rare for this sort of order. —Tamanna

Tiara: When the shoes arrived at my door, I was so excited! I’m a massive shopping junkie, and I absolutely adored the Cariuma packaging. I know it sounds strange but I loved that the box was completely sealed. I hate when I order shoes that come in the traditional box because they’re always half-open. I’ve had instances when my shoes come all messed up. I especially liked that Cariuma sends you two pairs of shoelaces because it allows me to play around with my style a lot more. 

Deema Alawa / The Tempest Media, Inc.

…and how things went down when we threw our fresh pairs on for the first day out:

Yannise: Putting on the OCA Low Stripe Leopard Suede sneakers wasn’t difficult, and they surprisingly had some height to them (I am 5’1 and love those extra inches). Since I was going to work, I wore light blue high-waisted jeans, a gray long-sleeved top, and an oversized black jacket. Usually, I wear long socks, but this time I chose to wear ankle socks with these shoes. Big mistake.

Yannise Jean rocks the Cariuma OCA Low Stripe Leopard sneakers.
Yannise rocks the Cariuma OCA Low Stripe Leopard Suede sneakers.

Not only was it a rainy day, but the back of my socks slid off of my heel, making the commute somewhat uncomfortable. Can’t blame that on the sneakers, but definitely make sure you’re wearing longer socks if you rock the low tops (or no socks!). 

Tamanna: I got the OCA Low Navy Canvas sneakers. I was excited because they aren’t completely neutral and can bring some understated color to an outfit. On my first day, I styled them with wide pants and a colorful button-up. I love that they didn’t take away from my overall look, but were also interesting in their own right. Over the next few days, I styled these sneakers with midi skirts, jeans, and dresses. 

I styled the shoes with a metallic blue skirt from Zara and Madewell shirt and the sneakers pulled the entire look together, giving a classic edge to street style. —Deema

Meagan: When I pulled out my OCA High All Camel Suede sneakers, I couldn’t wait for daylight to try them out – I decided to go out that night. I immediately put in the brown laces (the OCA sneakers come with two shoelace colors) and was off to a winery with some friends. I combined them with jeans and a green flannel shirt. I looked cute.

Meagan rocking her Cariuma OCA High All Camel Suede sneakers.

Deema: I tried the OCA Low Off White Canvas sneakers on the spot and instantly felt relieved that I didn’t have to worry about creasing the soft canvas. The shoe’s low-cut heel and complementary off-white canvas gave the shoe texture, adopting street style’s shift to juxtaposing textures while retroactively supporting sustainable fashion. I styled the shoes with a metallic blue skirt from Zara and Madewell shirt and the sneakers pulled the entire look together, giving a classic edge to street style.

Tiara Jenkins rocking the Cariuma XXX
Tiara rocking the Cariuma OCA Low All Black Suede sneakers.

Tiara: The next morning I styled the OCA Low All Black Suede sneakers with my normal work attire: black slacks and a sweater, and took off. When I wear shoes with no support I can almost immediately feel the shock in my ankles when my feet hit the concrete, but that wasn’t the case this time! I can’t say I made it all the way to work without any twinges of normal discomfort, but they’re much more comfortable than most of my other shoes. My ankles remained supported and for me, that’s a win.

Deema Alawa / The Tempest Media, Inc.
Deema Alawa / The Tempest Media, Inc.

Now that our week with Cariuma is over, here are our main takeaways:

Meagan: I will say that the next day my butt was a little sore…strange right? I wonder if the shoes act like shape-ups and help tone my legs while I wear them? Technically, they aren’t meant for that, but that’s my belief. Honestly, these are cute-ass sneaks that match with a ton of different stuff and they are ethically-created. Plus I didn’t experience any of those first-day-of-wearing-new-shoes blisters. The price for what you’re getting? Worth it.  

Aafiyah rocking the Cariuma OCA Low cloud grey suede sneakers.

Aafiyah: To be completely honest, initially, the inner sole cushioning worried me slightly, and that I would feel it against my foot. However, it’s felt like I’ve been walking on a cloud. 

Honestly, these are cute-ass sneaks that match with a ton of different stuff. —Meagan

Since I first heard about Cariuma through The Tempest (they’re not that well-known in the UK), I was worried about how good these shoes actually were. To date, though, none of my other shoes compare to the comfort of these sneakers. Since the first day I slipped these on, they remain my go-to for whenever I have to do something for long periods of time. I’m a massive fan.

The shoes are light, somewhat airy, so it doesn’t feel like you’re wearing anything less than a cloud. —Yannise

Tamanna: I love these sneakers, and they’re going in my regular rotation! Even after my busiest days, my feet didn’t get cramps like they usually had before I discovered Cariuma. There was a break-in period for me (I mostly felt it on my ankles), but after a week, they felt like a second skin. These days, you’ll find me in my Cariumas if you run into me – so my verdict? Hell yes. 

Tiara: To my surprise, I was pleasantly comfortable in my Cariumas – but! Cariuma, if you’re reading this: in the future, I’d love to see a little bit more cushion or arch support, for those of us with foot problems. I feel like it’s possible to have cute shoes that both help out the wearer and the environment. 

[We reached out and asked Cariuma, and they stated that”our insole is completely removable and can be replaced with special insoles as needed by the wearer!”]

Even after my busiest days, my feet didn’t get cramps like they usually had before I discovered Cariuma. —Tamanna

Deema: The shoes did not disappoint. I’ve been wearing my Cariumas for over a month now, and the fact that they only get more comfortable every day makes me a die-hard supporter. The shoe’s classic look and resilience to wear and tear consistently delivers, making them one of my favorite accessories. Absolute 10/10 on quality, style, and performance. 

Yannise: The shoes are light, somewhat airy, so it doesn’t feel like you’re dragging your feet (which is a massive plus if you live in New York City). Of course, they will feel a little tight when you first wear them, just like with any new shoe. But they’re perfect for styling with any type of wear—casual, formal, dressy, etc. Overall? Ten outta ten.

 

So now, when you see Cariuma on Instagram you’ll know what they’re all about — and if you want a pair of your own, check out their online store. In the words of one of our fave memes:

[Image description: Shia LaBeouf in front of a green screen, saying
[Image description: Shia LaBeouf in front of a green screen, saying “Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Just do it!”] via Giphy

Seriously. Find your solemates today – before they go out of stock!

Categories
Life

The Best of The Tempest: Life edition. Our favorite 7 stories from 2019.

2019 was a year. While in the grand scheme of human history it probably won’t register as particularly significant, it was a year where womxn and femmes, and basically anyone who isn’t a cishet white man, started to find words to speak their truth. We talked about deeply traumatic experiences. We shared pain. But we also shared resiliency. So in no particular order, these are the Life Editor’s top picks for 2019.

1. “I couldn’t speak about my assault for years, until now” by

I couldn’t speak about my assault for years, until now

We all know assault sucks, but to describe it and confront it in writing? That’s something special.

2. “We’re all the victims in a world of school shootings” by  

We’re all the victims in a world of school shootings

In an America where shootings seem to happen every other day, a deep and personal narrative describing the effects of such happens is so important. Even if you haven’t been directly involved in a shooting, the PTSD hits us all in its own way.

3. “My neighborhood believes in walls and privacy, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed a week without a wall” by

My neighborhood believes in walls and privacy, but I was surprised how much I enjoyed a week without a wall

Walls are made for privacy but are they hurting human compassion and sympathy? During one week without a wall in the suburbs of Johannesburg, this author discovered an entirely new side to her neighborhood. But at the end of that week, the wall went back up and the camaraderie faded. Is privacy worth it?

4. “I wish people talked more about this depression symptom” by

I wish people talked more about this depression symptom

Brain fog is a real and horrific effect of depression that doesn’t nearly get enough attention. Brain fog refers to a cluster of symptoms that affect thinking, memory and recollection. Moreover, it affects more than just those with depression. Understanding each other is the first step to making this world a better and more accepting place.

5. “What I didn’t know about life after graduation” by

What I didn’t know about life after graduation

Moving from the freeform setup of college into the abyss of the unknown is terrifying for everyone. We think the real world will offer the same freedom but, instead, we take any and all jobs that will pay the rent and offers health insurance.

6. “Here’s why I’m done helping you with your white guilt” by

Here’s why I’m done helping you with your white guilt

It is not up to women of color to make you feel better about your inherent racism. The everyday turmoil of microaggressions and stress placed on the shoulders of POC is simply unfair and exhausting.

7. “I lost my faith in religion. Now I have to tell my Muslim parents” by

I lost my faith in religion. Now I have to tell my Muslim parents

Something changed in this author’s faith over time. Slowly, she began to listen to music, dance and lose her passion for Islam. Is she still Muslim? Why couldn’t she connect?

Life is nuts but when we share our experiences the world gets a little closer and we understand each other a little better. Cheers to 2019!

Categories
Surviving the Holidays Food & Kitchen Food & Drinks Life

Easy foods to remind you of home this Christmas even if you can’t make it

We all know that mom and dad (or grandma and grandpa) make the best Christmas dishes. But sometimes we can’t make the trip home for the holidays and we are stuck with our own cooking. In the event that you are feeling that special combination of homesickness and adventure, there are options!

Welcome to your list of easy Christmas comfort foods that even you can make!

1. Turkey

[Image Description: A roasted turkey on a platter.] Via Army.mil
Step one: buy the smallest turkey you can find. Step two: follow these directions. Step three: mess it up somehow, but claim that it was delicious and fantastic. Go on to eat reheated noodles next to the tree.

Find the recipe here.

2. Ham

[Image Description: A deliciously baked ham that has been sliced.] Via Pillsbury
The trick to this one is that you buy a pre-cooked ham. It’s not cheating, just, thinking outside the “oven.” Get it?

The recipe is here. 

3. Roast

[Image Description: A roast beef displayed on a platter and sliced.] Via Pixabay
No matter what meat you typically consume on Christmas Day, let it be a good one. This is seriously one of the easiest recipes around.

Find the recipe here. 

4. Christmas Pudding

[Image Description: A close-up of Christmas pudding with mistletoe on top.] Via Flickr
Mmmmmm nothing more delicious than Christmas pudding. Just kidding! I’ve never had it, but hear it’s good. If you make it, let me know so I can try it.

Find the recipe here. 

5. Fruitcake

[Image Description: A close-up of sliced fruitcake on a doily.] Via Pixabay
The first time I heard about fruitcake was in one of Truman Capote’s short stories, but the tradition has started longer than that. Go ahead, try it!

Find the recipe here. 

There you have it! Even if you can’t make it home for Christmas, you can eat like it! Happy Holidays!

Categories
Gender & Identity Life

Gun violence in America has left scars in my life that will never heal

This is America.

The land of the free. The Patriots. The world police, the justice purveyors, the leaders of the free world, liberator of women, progressive self-starters fulfilling the American dream by mowing down kids.

This is where I live.

This is where my dad moved to for the economic opportunities. Where he worked and met my mother and fell in love. Where I had my first steps and thoughts and prayers. It’s where I babysat a boy named James in August the week before he was about to start first grade. Where I read his school list and helped him pack his little backpack.

I was 16. He was 6.

He asked me if I went to Sandy Hook School, too, but he didn’t understand the concept of high school.

At the time my plan was to become an English teacher after college. I tried to teach him how to read. Then I went home.

But on a Friday my junior year of high school, I had a math test during last period. But I didn’t take it.

I sat in lockdown for hours.

It was December 14, 2012. The day a man walked into Sandy Hook School and shot and killed 20 kids and 6 teachers. He had guns. He shot himself an entrance into the school. He killed people and then himself.

Now more and more children keep dying and we don’t do anything. Kids are shot on Valentine’s Day and run out of the school holding flowers with blood on their clothes.

Six-year-olds don’t get to learn how to read.

Or have their first kiss. Or learn what they favorite genre of music is. Find their favorite movie. Go on their first date. Learn how to ride a bike. Grow up. Teenagers don’t get to go on Valentine’s dates. Learn to drive. Go to prom. Graduate. Go to college. Discover their passion.

Shit’s fucked.

Now, six years after James was murdered, I still get anxiety in classrooms. I have plans for what to do when, not if, a shooter walks into the classroom. I have an escape route planned. When the anxiety is really bad, I shudder when someone reaches into their backpack.

Until our country realizes how idiotic it’s being, it’s my reality.

It’s elementary, middle and high school kids’ realities. It’s adult’s realities as workplaces get more dangerous and they wonder whether they should send their kids to school. It’s the blood on the ground and the guns in their hands.

This is what America has made my life.

Categories
Gender & Identity Notes from the Editor Humor Food & Drinks Life Announcements

The 5 Most-Read The Tempest Stories of 2017: Life Edition

2017 brought us Trump’s inauguration, sexual allegations, an Alabama senate race, and the worst shooting in US history. But that’s not all that 2017 brought us.

We also got a museum for Jackie Robinson, saw a beautiful solar eclipse, and more!

Life is all about experiences and the people you share them with, and this year the Life section has really come through on those ideals. Each article examined a problem that was important and necessary to add to the global dialogue. Enjoy this 2017 roundup of the best articles under Life, and get ready for a million more in 2018.

 1. “It’s time to call Muslim parents out on their emotional abuse – because that’s not love,” by Anonymous

[Image description: A photo of a woman with her eyes closed and wearing a pink hijab. She is smelling a bouquet of flowers that she is holding.] mouthporn.net
An incredibly powerful narrative about parental abuse. This article calls out parents for creating negative environments for their children instead of nurturing them. Sometimes, parents make mistakes. They do not have the power of God and do not rule your life entirely.  This unique perspective sheds light on a problem thousands of women can relate to. Read More.

2. “How do you preserve Syria when a lot of what’s left is rubble?” by Talah Bakdash

[Image description: A photo of a medieval castle called Krak des Chevaliers that is still standing in Syria.] wikimedia.org
When battles end, then what happens? What happens to the memories made before the war? What happens from the changes in the landscape?

This is an important discussion about war-torn countries and examines what happens after wars end. This examines how culture changes from those happenings around them, which is an interesting perspective people don’t usually get to see. People think of war, the politics of it, and forget about the people who are still there. Read More.

3. “In the eyes of my family, I’m damaged goods – here’s why,” by Thee Shaheera

[Image description: The photo shows a woman wearing a wedding dress with a white hijab while holding a bouquet of flowers and smiling.] Pinterest
There are certain responsibilities women are expected to follow, but when they succumb to a disease they are no longer the golden child. Just because this author got diabetes, means her standing in the world around her was lowered, although she didn’t do anything wrong. How can women keep their hopes up for their future when they are constantly put down for something they can’t control? Why do diseases affect a woman’s quality?

Women do not need to be put down by others, and it’s time we stop allowing it. Read More.

4. “16 tried-and-true techniques to drive away the rishtas,” by The Tempest team

Indian Lady
[Image description: A photo of a woman with brown hair and red clothes on with the impression that she is confidently walking away from others who are in the background.] Naganath Chiluveru on Unsplash.com
Members of The Tempest family got together to write this hilariously accurate and helpful guide to snubbing your relatives who pressure you on your future plans. The techniques include sarcasm and cutting your hair, both of which are sure to terrify any desi girl’s family.

Don’t let other people decide what’s right for you. Read More.

5. “I was only 20 when my sister abandoned her toddlers. I had no idea what to do.” by Thee Shaheera

[Image description: A photo of a woman in a field holding a young boy in her arms.] stocksy.com
Life brings unexpected challenges from our culture, friends and even from our family. When this woman was left with her nephew and niece she had one option and that was to care for them. She took them in and managed to continue with school and work, but not without difficulty. Life is hard work and it’s important to hear these inspiring stories to remind us of what we are capable of. Read More.

Here’s to continuing to share important and inspiring stories that may have otherwise been overlooked.

Categories
Gender Inequality

#MeToo might be just a hashtag to some people. For us, it brings up haunting memories.

This week, the words “Me, Too” took over social media. The idea behind the social media phenomenon was that if every woman who’d been sexually harassed or assaulted put the words “Me Too” in their status or used the hashtag #metoo, the world would see the prevalence sexual abuse.

Soon, all of our social media pages were filled with the words “Me Too.” Women began to add their own commentary to the status, mostly along the lines of “Me too, who hasn’t?” The question made the powerful point that almost every woman has dealt with some kind of sexual harassment or abuse in their lifetime. Unfortunately, most women have encountered sexual harassment and abuse multiple times.

While many men expressed their shock that so many women they knew had been harassed or assaulted, many women said they weren’t surprised at all. They talked about how sexual abuse is part of their everyday reality.

Though it’s really sad that we need a social media campaign to highlight the pervasiveness of sexual abuse, brave women coming forward to share their experiences has started a conversation that needs to be had. Women are learning that they aren’t survivors alone. Men are learning that this issue is way more prevalent than they thought and that things need to change. And we’re all learning the power of women’s voices to change the world.

At The Tempest, we’ve always been about providing a platform for women to share their stories, so a few of us decided to be brave, get vulnerable, and tell our own #metoo stories.

Maybe it was the alcohol that emboldened him, or maybe it’s an excuse. I don’t know I’d never seen him before or since.

Maybe my hijab was enticing, “What you have hidden under there?” when everyone else was in swimsuits, I was totally covered in my hijab and long swimsuit, with music blaring loudly on a boat in the middle of the sea.

He repeatedly called my name even though I refused to acknowledge him. Whenever the boat would stop, I made sure to stay close to my friends, hoping that he wouldn’t try to come over to our side of the boat, but he eventually did, sitting right in front of me. I pulled my hand away from the railing but not before he grazed it with his own, and I walked away from him, digging through my bag for a wipe, or hand sanitizer something to scrub away his repulsive touch.

For the rest of the trip, I stayed even closer to my group, keeping my eyes open to see if he would venture over again. I felt uneasy and disgusted by what happened. I let people in my group stand around me keeping guard, as I did too. Afterwards his friends were apologetic for his behavior but never said that to me. I didn’t care.

Many people think hijab protects you from harassment or assault; how amazing would it be if cloth could protect you from leers and unwanted interaction? Hijab has, and will never be about men. That incident has stayed with me, that despite me thinking I should be safe, in reality I was a magnet. Just me being there, as I am made me a target; #metoo.”

– Saffiyya, Sr. Community Editor

I was 14 when I first got catcalled, but I don’t even know if it was a catcall. I stood there at the bus stop, winter boots laced up, hands stuffed in jacket, ears listening to hallelujah, not listening to anything when a truck rolled by, usual for the hour, two men in the front seats, windows down.

I thought, “Aren’t they cold?”

They yell as they pass by a loud sound with no words to it, looking in my general direction as they did. I was the only one outside, butt half-frozen from waiting too long. I wore jeans I think, winter boots laced up, hands stuffed in jacket. The usual.

It couldn’t have been me they were yelling at, right? I was only 14. I was inside the clear plexiglas bus stop. They were men, a little rowdy, but boys being boys. Why would they care?
Did I get catcalled? I’ve been taught to dismiss it so much I don’t even know.

– Tempest Staffer

I really hate dancing with people. I have my own rhythm. White girl rhythm, for sure, but it’s all my own. The dance floor is my sanctuary, my temple. Disrupt my groove at your own risk.

And some dumb ass drunk boy always chooses to take that risk.

Suddenly I feel hands on my hips, on my waist, on my ass. Or perhaps he doesn’t even start with his hands. Sometimes it’s hips pressed directly against me. A boner in my lower back.

I always resist the urge to throw a punch, or an elbow. I’ve been taught that it’s too dangerous to confront the men who decide that my body is theirs to grope, without my permission. I try to spin away, but they always grab me and hold me close to their body, telling me without words that my permission means nothing to them. When they prevent my exit, I try turning around, pretending I’ll dance, only to say loudly and firmly, “No thanks.” I’m still polite, even after they’ve violated me.

Then the smooth talk begins. “Come on baby, just one dance.”

I become more insistent. Now it’s simply, “No.”

That’s when the name calling begins. “God, you don’t have to be such a bitch.” After being violated, I’m the one who’s villainized.

Best case scenario, it ends there. He walks away and gropes someone else. The worst case scenario that I’ve experienced is that he follows me, through the club, for the entire night. He finds a seat where he can watch me dance and treats it like a private show, violating me over and over with his gaze. Or he tries to touch me over and over, at various times throughout the night, never listening when I say no, never taking the hint when I run away.

Sometimes he’ll stop if I show my wedding ring, or if another man intervenes. If he perceives I’m someone else’s property he may back off, but never just because I don’t want him to touch me. If he wants to touch me, he’ll touch me. He’s made that clear.

And just so we’re clear, this hasn’t happened once, or twice. It happens every time I go dancing. And these are only the milder stories that I could tell when I say #metoo.

– Robin, Love Editor

I’m sitting alone on a grassy spot in the park, wearing my favorite new lipstick and scribbling poems in my journal. It’s the first warm day of spring, and I feel beautiful and tender and creative.

When a stranger asks to sit next to me, I say “sure.” In the sunlight, I forget to be afraid.

I avoid eye contact, but the more I try to avoid his gaze and focus on my writing, the more he questions me. What am I writing? Can he read my poetry? I give one-word answers. I hope he’ll see I’m not interested without me having to say it.

Some women are good at this, I think. Some women have trained themselves since puberty to respond to the emergency of male bodies in public.

I’m not one of them. When confronted with fear, I use my docility as a defence mechanism. I smile. Wouldn’t want to offend him. Maybe he’s nice deep down. After all, he must think I’m pretty. I’m supposed to be flattered. I am also supposed to be a self-aware feminist and not be flattered.

I finally get up. I hear him running up behind me. Where I am going? he wants to know. Can he see me again? Can he come join me and my “friend” (who I made up to make him believe I wouldn’t be alone)? He meets every made-up excuse with another question. Can he come hang out with me and my friend? Can he go to the Poetry Slam I’m going to later?

“Can I come?”

“I think it would be weird…”

“Where is it going to be?”

“I’m just going with my friends…”

He asks so many questions that I can’t keep up, and I let slip the location of the event where I’ll actually be later. I finally, definitively, tell him no and think he’ll leave me alone.

Then he shows up to the event hours later. Two male acquaintances have to kick him out, because I am straight-up terrified.

I spend days thinking about what might have happened. How I could have responded differently. If I’d been more aggressive. A better liar. If I’d said I was meeting a made-up boyfriend instead of a made-up friend. 

Women are asked to choose between being polite or fighting back in the face of male aggression. We should not have to make this choice. We should be able to exist quietly in a park without having to prepare to be stalked.

Months later, I see the same guy at a bus stop. He waves at me and says, “Hey, what’s up?” My blood turns to ice, but he keeps walking, completely oblivious as to how unsafe he made me feel. 

-Hannah, Staff Writer

The first time I had sexual attention forced on me, I was seven years old. Both of my parents worked constantly and my older siblings were away at college. So my aunt would frequently have me over at her house to watch me.

My cousins and I would play and my aunt would cook us Hamburger Helper. One day, things became incredibly uncomfortable for me. My older cousins decided that flashing me was a funny game because I would freak out. As a kid, I didn’t understand female and male genitalia but I knew that I did not want to see that.

Thinking back, it was an awful experience for anyone to have. Hesitantly, I still went over to my aunt’s house because my parents didn’t trust me to be completely alone just yet.

The next time I stayed over, it was my uncle pulling me away into his room, to flash me.  As a child, I was so afraid of conflict that I would just freeze. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know why it was so awful at the time, but I knew it wasn’t right.

I tried to get away and he grabbed my hand saying, “I thought we were friends, don’t you want to be my friend?”

I ignored him, ran out in the room, and was forced to sit in silence for the rest of the day, and for the rest of my life.

What bothers me the most is that men try to frame sexual harassment as friendliness. It’s messed up that grown men and young boys take advantage of growing girls, convincing them that friendship is that twisted. They prey on our vulnerability and mask it as kindness. Dealing with catcalling men, unsolicited gropes in tight spaces, and losing your trust in adult figures are things that girls have to face every day. It needs to stop. We can’t keep looking the other way.

-Tempest Staffer

It was my freshman year in college. I was in my dorm hallway, talking to a guy who also lived in my hall. He was drunk, and in the middle of a conversation reached out and grabbed my breast, and then let go and walked away. I was more stunned than anything else. I couldn’t even react because it was such a random occurrence. The shock silenced me.

Men should not be able to get away with inappropriate touching ever, and nor should women. The problem lies in the fact that women are the ones conditioned to accept this behavior and men are taught to implement it. Every human being is a human being. Respect your fellow human being. That’s all we need to do.

-Meagan, Life Jr. Editor

He was my driving instructor. 64, pale and lonely. He coaxed me into taking a 2 hour driving class with him. As I drove at 120 km/h on the highway, his hand slid slowly up my thigh, knowing fully well that I couldn’t take mine off the wheel. It took me a few seconds to react, and when I did, I pulled over and took a taxi home. I had half a mind to report him to the authorities, but I didn’t, for fear of sabotaging his career. I regret not doing that to this day. #metoo

-Dyuthi, Staff Writer

Some of us didn’t feel safe sharing our stories. Some of us weren’t comfortable telling the stories that were even more awful than these. Even as strong women, with powerful voices, sexual harassment and abuse are part of our everyday lives.

We live with the scars men have given us, literally and figuratively, every single day, and we endure more injury every time we are catcalled, groped, or exploited.

Maybe, just maybe, people will get off their asses and do something to address sexual abuse.

Categories
Love + Sex Love Wellness

There are serious myths when it comes to “popping the cherry” – here’s why we can’t ignore them

Newsflash: out of the fifty states in the United States, only THIRTEEN states require sex education that portrays the reproductive anatomy correctly. You heard that right – unless you’re from those 13 states, you might not even have the correct idea of how the reproductive system works.

This is important because we need to understand how our bodies work, and that losing your virginity is not the huge deal that society makes it out to be.

So here I am, white lab coat and stethoscope out, ready to explain how “popping the cherry” works for those who are in the dark or have just plain forgotten.

Disclaimer: This explanation might not apply to everyone. It is also important to recognize that not only cis-women have a vagina.

Actually popping your cherry (the hymen)

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Medically, the hymen is a bit of tissue that either covers the vaginal opening, runs alongside the opening or does not exist at all. Every person is unique, and some people do not have a hymen, to begin with. This is why it is important to understand that “popping” the hymen is not an essential part of first-time sex.

The myth is that if you do not bleed from sex then you are not a virgin, as blood is said to come from the “breaking” of the hymen. However, this is simply incorrect. Most people have “popped” or “stretched” their hymen before they have sex, whether it be from the first time they insert a tampon, participating in sports, or maybe they didn’t have one, to begin with.

When someone does experience pain during sex, the problem usually lies in foreplay.

For example, I did competitive gymnastics for years, so when I had my first time it was different than the picture that was painted for me. I did not experience much pain at all from my first time, and I did not bleed. My experience was different to the experiences that other people will go through.

When someone does experience pain during sex, the problem usually lies in foreplay (not enough lubrication), not with the hymen being torn. Over time the hymen will change depending on a number of developments unique to the individual.

For example, in order for a period to occur, the hymen stretches or even breaks for the blood to escape the vagina. This step is natural and does not make a person less deserving of a good sex life.

The stigma around the hymen

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People throw around the terms “loose” and “tight” when it comes to the vagina, but these statements are misinformed slut-shaming. Scientifically, having sex for the first time or the 150th, time doesn’t change a thing. Your vaginal elasticity does not change with more or less sex.

When a person becomes aroused, blood flows to the vagina. The clitoris, inner and outer lips, as well as the breasts, swell.  They also begin to lubricate – a.k.a. becomes “wet.” The vagina expands in a way that allows for sexual play, and after orgasm, the vagina returns to its previous state, unless there is more stimulation in which case some can continue to have multiple orgasms. The vagina will return to its previous state when the excitement of intercourse dies down, and this happens whether or not an orgasm occurs.

Therefore, the way the vagina expands and lubricates to prepare for sex is why the idea of someone being “loose” or “tight” is absurd.

You do not become looser after having sex with ten people and you do not remain tight when you have only had sex once in your life. This is why tropes like “popping the cherry” are toxic and can result in bullying for people who don’t meet society’s requirements for virginity.

Don’t let anyone pressure you into feeling bad about your multiple or non-existent sexual partners. Just because your hymen has been stretched, or doesn’t exist at all, does not mean that you are “used up” or “loose.” If someone says that you are too loose, then you already know they are not worth your time.

Now rock on and get busy!

Categories
Love Wellness

When my boyfriend came with me to the OB/GYN, nobody listened to me

Like most women, Jen* needed to go in for her annual exam with a gynecologist.

Due to positive reviews, she found online, she chose an OB/GYN practicing in NYC, the city she resides in. It was supposed to simply be the typical routine annual exam.

She went in. She sat down and filled out her paperwork. She was called in, and she put her feet in the stirrups. They did the routine check-up exams such as a Pap smear, STI check, check for cancerous/precancerous cells, etc.

She had no qualms about this appointment and saw it as a regular exam.

But two weeks later, shit hit the fan.

She received a frightening phone call from the doctor’s office claiming that her test results had come in, and she needed to come in for a follow-up appointment. As per regulations, the receptionist could not give her any information over the phone. Completely stressed out (as any woman would be upon hearing this ambiguous news), she made a follow-up appointment immediately.

Now, this is where it gets interesting.

The day of the follow-up, Jen and Mark* arrived early for Jen’s appointment.

She was nervous and had to wait an excruciating 70 minutes before she was called back for her appointment – despite showing up early. When she was finally called back, she indicated to the nurse that she did not want to be told what her weight was – she has, after all, struggled with an eating disorder for many years.

And after six years of not knowing her weight, this particular nurse made sure that Jen finally found out – despite Jen’s requests. In this instance, a medical professional did not respect her wishes and was completely inappropriate. This blatant disregard, Jen has stated, was “emotionally traumatizing, ignorant, and insensitive. This oversight was careless and incredibly damaging to me.”

After her weight was taken, Jen was sent back to the waiting room for another hour before being called in to speak with the doctor. In a statement shared with The Tempest, she shared the details of the experience.

“When we were finally called in, I told him how upsetting the interaction was with the nurse and how unprofessional I found her bedside manner. Instead of being apologetic, he made light of the situation and belittled my feelings.

When I tried to change the direction of the conversation to discuss what the issue was with my test results, he continued to talk to me about the nature of my eating disorder, pressing me for information I was not comfortable sharing, like what my weight was at the height of my disorder and when I was at my heaviest – all this after I had just finished explaining how difficult it is for me to discuss my weight.

He then inquired about my psychological care and insisted that I must have unresolved issues that I should address with regular counseling sessions. I politely indicated that I do have a good system and various coping skills in place for myself after being in recovery for so many years and that asking not to hear the number on the scale when being weighed while at the doctor is one of them. My boyfriend even tried to jump in and help clarify why this was so upsetting to me, but we were both brushed off and not listened to.

Again, I tried to steer the conversation toward my test results. He reluctantly began walking me through each result one by one – all coming up negative, but he paused occasionally to ask what I thought the problem was. Frustrated at this point and near tears, I told him I did not know and begged him to let me know at last what was wrong. He then told me there was no issue and that I was in the “top 5% of Americans with such perfect test results.”

Dumbfounded and confused, I asked why it had been necessary for me to come into the office in the first place since customarily, negative results don’t warrant a phone call or a follow-up with the doctor – only problematic/positive ones do. Completely ignoring this fact, he reverted and spoke some more about how he thought I might benefit from counseling and acknowledged how supportive my boyfriend was as we got up to leave.

He ended the meeting by turning to my boyfriend and stating “don’t leave her, the poor girl” – as if I wasn’t standing right in front of him.

Completely dumbfounded, our only response was to wander down the hall while our rage at his chauvinistic attitude and comments started to push our shock aside. As we were making our exit, the same nurse who violated my request for a blind weight informed me the visit would be a $25 copay.”

Jen was completely undermined and ignored throughout this entire process. This is problematic because a gynecologist is a doctor that specifically works with women and should listen to his or her patient, but that obviously didn’t happen.

Hell, even Mark got a handshake while Jen was the one who was put down, even though she was a complete badass for beating her eating disorder.

Unfortunately, this is the reality many women face when confronted with men in positions of authority.

Men are constantly trying to create laws governing women’s bodies and accessibility to contraceptives. A man may feel comfortable walking home alone at night while a woman does not have that option, or if she does walk and gets raped, then it was her fault for walking alone – and we see this countlessly in our justice system!

Men can wear their clothes differently while women are scrutinized and blamed for being a distraction for the boys. Men always seem to have the upper hand in this world and assume that they know everything.

And well, this doctor did not know everything here. He hurt Jen and caused her suffering that was completely unneeded. He could have even set her back on her recovery path from her eating disorder and causing irreparable damage.

You are a woman of the world. Do not wait for Jen’s story to become yours as well.

*The names have been changed to protect the privacy of the subjects interviewed.

Categories
Love + Sex Love

10 life-saving tips for anyone in a long-distance relationship

Now, people usually think that all long-distance relationships can’t work or that they are not worth it. Yes, it’s tough to build a relationship without being able to go on actual dates and deal with fights or disagreements when you can’t physically touch each other. But if your partner is worth it, then oftentimes the long-distance relationship (LDR) is worth it. After all, long distance doesn’t always have to be hard!

I have been in a long distance relationship with my current boyfriend for our entire year and a half together. He goes to one university, and I go to another. During the semester, we are an hour apart, and during breaks, we live about six hours away from each other. Obviously, this isn’t so easy, but I believe that we will be together for a very long time because we have gotten creative to make it work. And here are ten ways we make it happen.

1. Actually give a shit about the person

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Here’s the thing: you have to actually like the person.

If you don’t feel committed or willing to put in the extra legwork, then don’t even bother. If you already know that you are not going to be able to uphold this type of commitment to another person, then you shouldn’t string that person along. My boyfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship literally all the time, and it’s not always easy, but we care enough about each other to go the extra mile.

Sometimes we get irrationally irritated due to the distance or lack of physicality, and it gets tough, but we push on because we decided to commit to the relationship and to each other. You may think that this is a normal requirement for a relationship, but it is especially important in long distance relationships.

Relationships are tough, but LDRs are ten times tougher. That means you have to actually care enough to commit to this kind of relationship.

2. Choose your fights wisely

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This goes for any relationship. If you get upset every time they take too long to respond to a text or the text they do send just doesn’t satisfy your train of thoughts: take a breath. Fights should only be happening when you are seriously offended or upset – but using fights to control the other individual’s life is not only unhealthy but manipulative.

Since you can’t physically be around each other, that makes the fights all the worse and can make them drag out longer than they should. There is always miscommunication and misconstrued ideas in fights, but when you are apart, it is harder to make up. That means you should choose not to be so mad about a late text and instead remember how much you care about your partner.

3. Put in the effort – make time for each other

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Facetime dates are a thing and a great way to spend time together. For some of our dates, my boyfriend and I choose a movie on Netflix and start it at the same time. That way we can watch a movie together, even when were not together. Plan Facetime dates and long phone calls – then keep those dates. You decided to enter into this commitment, so you need to try to remember to be there for them even when it’s hard or you’re busy.

Long-distance relationships are hard work, but the important thing is that you’re there for the partner in various ways.

 4. When you hang out, actually hang out

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Time together is few and far in-between, which means you need to make it count. Don’t spend your whole hangout on your phone or staring at the TV screen. Take time to lay down with them on the couch and talk about what’s happened since the last time you saw each other. This is where you get the important intimacy that is necessary in order to maintain this kind of stressful relationship. These are the moments that help you hold on when you are feeling like you’re at the breaking point when the long distance relationship becomes too stressful.

5. Plan activities for your time together

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So, it’s been weeks since you’ve seen them – now what? When you plan activities such as going to see that play they’ve been meaning to see (he’s taking me to Kinky Boots tomorrow!) or walking around a park, it can help ease the constant transition from long-distance to being close again.

Besides, it’s always more fun when you have something to do with that person. It finally gives you that opportunity to remember the intimacy that you might have forgotten throughout the past few days, weeks, or months. Make the best of your time together!

6. Random phone calls are never a bad idea

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Random phone calls are adorable and a great way to let your partner know that you’re thinking about them. Even if it’s a quick call to let them know that you saw something they might like or just a two-minute long phone call to remind them how much they mean to you, it always means a lot.

Plus, it doesn’t let you forget the fun of hearing their voice – which is much better than reading a (boring) old text message in plain text. It keeps a deeper connection going.

7. Add your friends into the equation

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Nobody wants to be that couple who only sit and focus on each other all day, every day.

It’s important for every relationship to balance their personal alone time with the time they spend with their partner and their friends. Since we’re talking long distance, it is important to bring that person into your “regular” life because sometimes they can feel separated from that depending on how long you two spend apart.

Maybe you two could go out and get drinks with your friends before your date night or go on a double-date with your couple friends! It’s always a good idea to make them a part of your “regular” days because they may feel left out of that part of your life.

8. When your partner is having a tough time, be there for them

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You can be available for someone even if you can’t physically be there. Stay up late and Facetime them. Call them and answer their text messages. LDRs are still relationships that require a true partnership. It’s important to make time for them just like it is for relationships that are in the same zip code.

You care about them, therefore you must dedicate time to them.

LDRs make it more necessary for you to listen and respond accordingly to your partner. When you are not physically close to each other, you have to make sure they don’t feel like you are not giving them your full attention. When you can’t be a shoulder to cry on, you can at least be the silent person on the phone or Facetime.

9. Communication, communication, communication

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If you are upset or having problems with the relationship, you need to tell them. Keeping things from each other is a thousand times worse when you are already apart in terms of physical distance. Communication with each other is so important to every relationship.

However, in an LDR, you need to communicate even more because you can’t see each other’s physical actions or mannerism changes, which means your partner may not get the hint that you are angry about something and vice-versa.

Sometimes I talk to my boyfriend when I feel less connected to him because we have been apart for so many days or weeks, and we work to combat the problem. We plan a movie/Facetime date night, and we make it work.

10. Control your jealousy

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Let them have their own life, just like you have your own life.

Just because they go to the bar doesn’t mean that they are busy meeting someone new. Just because you spend an evening catching up with an old friend alone doesn’t mean you’re going to sleep with them. An LDR requires a solid amount of trust, all of which can be difficult to maintain without open communication. You should try not to be jealous, but they should also understand if you get a little bit of the green envy.

As long as you communicate your feelings about any and all situations, you will be okay.

LDRs are tough to maintain, and jealousy can ruin a fabulous relationship much easier in these relationships than in a typical one. Remember to trust your partner!

Categories
Love + Sex Love

7 tips on how to stay sane when you and your partner completely disagree politically

We all have small disagreements and arguments within our relationships, but when you’re far Left and your partner is far Right…things get particularly messy.  Specifically, I am pretty Liberal and my boyfriend is a Moderate Republican.  Let me just say that the Republican/Democratic debates, along with the Primaries were rough times for us.  We both like to stay informed about the current political climate, but it seriously stresses our relationship sometimes.

But we have made it through over a year together and survived the Primaries, the General Election and the first 100 days of Trump.  But sometimes you need to choose yourself over your relationship.  If there is a lack of mutual respect for each other’s opinions or they try to change you, then you need to get out of there.  Remember that these are suggestions, but the most important thing is to take care of yourself.

Here are some tips on how to deal when your partner has severely different political leanings than yourself.

1. Recognize where they are coming from

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His father is a cop and his parents worked hard for what they have.  I grew up in Newtown, CT and therefore have a very real hatred of guns, and I also have a parent who had a severe mental illness.  Both of our backgrounds make for interesting perspectives and insights, and it is important to address their perspective.  Respect where they come from.

But they have to respect where you come from too.  He recognizes that I am terrified of guns and that is not something that will change.  He gets me and I get him and we remember that when we talk about our differing opinions.

2. Take a deep breath

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Remember that life is short, and you have made the decision to work hard for this relationship.  Sometimes you get angry and frustrated with their ideas, and there are some ideas that may be deal breakers for you, but always try to discuss them before pulling the cord.  You have to decide where the line needs to be drawn.  He knows what statements are off limits for me and I know his.  This mutual respect is what’s important for beneficial debates.

Let’s be honest, sometimes it’s too frustrating and that’s when we end the conversation and try to remember why we like each other in the first place.

3. Have an open and honest conversation in person

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Texting is probably the worst way to discuss your issues.  I can’t tell you how many times I have gotten more frustrated than necessary because we were talking over text.  Texting doesn’t explain the emotion or physical aspect of the person’s opinions.  We are long distance, so when stuff starts to become too much, we stop the conversation and choose to continue it when we can actually talk about it in real life.

When you text, you can become harsher than you mean to be and nobody wants that.  Or, sometimes I read a headline and then I text him with a,”hold it, I am not talking about this one yet,” and that’s how it is!

4. When you know that a tense political debate is about to arise, hold their hand

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It is always harder to get mad at someone when you are making physical contact with them.  Holding their hand or just sitting closer to them reminds you of why you like them in the first place.  Something about holding their hand of just being nearer to them reminds you of their humanity.

When debates arise, it can be easy to forget that you’re arguing with someone you love, and you can start to see them as their opinions only.  Physical touch combats this issue and helps you keep calm.

5. Actually, listen to them and open your mind

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I’m not saying that you have to turn Republican or Libertarian or a Tea Party member or anything other than what you are, but just listen to what they say.  Try to see things from their perspective.  Try to avoid phrases that are demeaning in nature or negate the validity of your partner’s thoughts and ideas.  Don’t say “that’s stupid” or “what a dumb opinion” or “you’re wrong.”  These can hurt your relationship.

Instead, ask what the reasons are behind their opinions and why they think a certain way.

6. If you are both too passionate about it and the strain is too much…just take the topic off the table

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Sometimes you have to say “Nope, not gonna talk to you about *something outrageous that happened in Congress*” and there you go.  It is important to set your limits.  Let them know about a certain opinion of yours that is just simply not going to change, and they should do the same.

Mutual respect and understanding are all you need to make it work.

7. Take care of yourself

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Sometimes relationships are just not meant to be.  Sometimes you have to pack in the towel and call it a day.

If it is too much of a strain on yourself then you need to just get out of the relationship.  Now, I’m not suggesting that you should just break it off after one political debate, but if it has been some time and there is no respect for each other than you two might not be meant to be.  It’s always important to take care of yourself before you can try to care for others as well.

It’s always easier to date people who are similar to yourself, but what’s the fun in that?  I care about my boyfriend so I make an effort to listen to his ideas and try to forget that he’s Republican and I am a die-hard Liberal.  We listen and discuss and we have a well-rounded opinion on the American politics of today.  But for relationships to work, there always needs to be a high level of respect for both members.  So even when they frustrate you, remember that they are a human being who you care about.

Relationships are partnerships, and that means compromise is a vital component.

Categories
Fashion Lookbook

10 fashion trends we seriously need to ditch this year

So I am not the fashion expert of the world, but there are some trends going around now that are just silly.  We should not be paying 350 dollars for furry backpacks that can’t even carry anything.  We should not be paying money for shirts or pants that purposely do not cover the goods.  Why are we paying so much money for materials in which to cover ourselves when they aren’t even cute? Let’s combat this.

[bctt tweet=”Why are we paying so much money for materials in which to cover ourselves when they aren’t even cute?” username=”wearethetempest”]

Here are the 10 current fashion trends that absolutely need to go:

1. Under-boob shirts

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Seriously guys what the fuck is this trend.  This cannot be comfortable.  You know there is this thing called bras and regular shirts that could give your girls some more support and also would look way sexier than this hilarious crop top.

Plus, think of all the possible nip-slips just waiting to happen in this shirt.

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2.  Juicy Couture Tracksuits

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Let’s bring it back to 2004 in Mean Girls with Amy Poehler’s stay at home mom pink tracksuit.  Seriously people.  I saw a woman wearing a green tracksuit exactly like this last week. Update your wardrobe! Fashion does not mean wearing all the same color it means mixing and matching and putting together killer outfits.  These just make everyone look the same! Fashion is more about being unique and creating your own look.

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3. Unwrapped infinity scarves

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Infinity scarves are meant to be wrapped, not just hang around your neck waiting to get caught on something.  They are an adorable accessory that can help keep your neck warm as well as compliment your outfit.

Unfortunately, this unwrapped infinity scarf is just an insult to the scarf world.

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4. Paying too much for crap, even if it’s going on your body

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This gigantic t-shirt is 54 dollars.  54 dollars! Just go to Walmart and get a couple XLs and it would accomplish the same look.  T-shirt dresses have a place in this world, but this is crap.  I am tired of companies using their influence on the market to make extra cash for themselves.

You can make this outfit yourself but with a more personal creative edge!

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5. Anything that writes words across your boobs or butt

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It’s not the early 2000’s anymore!

We don’t have to wear sweats with writing on the booty or boobs for a sense of fashion.  It’s just expensive for you but free advertising for the companies.  It’s not cute and just gives yucky boys an excuse to look at your boobs or butt.  You look good without this crap! Wear what you want and people will notice your fabulousness.

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6. Corsets. Just, no.

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It’s not the Middle Ages anymore! You don’t need to wear a corset to get a womanly figure or to suck in your supposed belly fat.  People are people and as long as you have a person shape you are fine.  Let’s stop supporting companies that perpetuate the ideal woman figure.  You do not need a corset to be beautiful.

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7. Completely see-through clothing

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This dress is pointless! Unless you’re wearing it over a bathing suit on your way to the beach, this thing makes no sense and wouldn’t protect you against the sun either.  Isn’t the point of clothing to, you know, protect your body from natural elements and/or to cover up the goods? This does neither.  And this costs way more than one should pay for mesh fabric.

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8. Anything furry

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This tiny backpack is over 300 dollars.

This is fake and colored fur which means that it collects dirt worse than any other fabric.  It also is gonna be impossible to match with!  Let’s stop paying so much money for articles of clothing that are neither functional nor cute. The Jenners already have a ton of money, and they don’t need more of yours for something like this.

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9. Denim Skirts

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I’m not understanding why these are coming back into style, but they have arrived. Denim is great for pants and jackets but skirts? I am not on board.  They are tough to move in and offer nothing in the sense of accentuating your body.  They are uncomfortable and ugly.  Why not wear a skirt with a movable and breathable fabric?  Let’s return to the days where we looked adorable while also being comfortable.

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10. Kylie Jenner butt jeans

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My question is…wouldn’t this share a ton of germs from like toilet seats to subway seats and everything in between? What if you got sunburn only under your butt?  What if you sit on a hot bench?  Nothing is there to protect your booty! Protect the booty people!

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Categories
Beauty Lookbook

Meet 5 women who completely slay the winged eyeliner look – and 5 that need to reassess their choices

So my opinion may be unpopular, but I have a point.

Now I am not a poster girl for fabulous makeup tutorials or anything like that.  But I do know that I think winged eyeliner is overrated, like seriously overrated.  People have started using this awesome and edgy makeup style for an everyday look and it’s just not working.

Winged eyeliner looks great with complete and full outfits. But they require full and complete outfits as well as an eyeshadow look.

[bctt tweet=” I think winged eyeliner is overrated, like seriously overrated.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I know what you’re thinking.  Makeup is a form of self-expression.  It is personal to the wearer and makes them feel good about themselves. Who cares about everyone else’s opinions?  You’re right.

I just think that we have a really cool technique here and it should be exploited to its full potential.

Winged eyeliner has the potential to finish off a hype outfit with the right amount of sass and power.

The eyes are probably the most important tool in our huge arsenal of awesome things about women and we should use them. In this world of rape culture, patriarchy and discrimination, women need to use everything they’ve got to stand up for themselves and one of those things is winged eyeliner.

[bctt tweet=”Winged eyeliner has the potential to finish off a hype outfit with the right amount of sass and power.” username=”wearethetempest”]

It has the power to complete a great look with an insane amount of badassery, enough to put on that extra confidence.  Let’s look even more fabulous while we change the world.  Let’s use this style of eyeliner to expand upon our confidences and use it to push us over the edge of just plain awesome to complete fabulousness.

[bctt tweet=”Let’s look even more fabulous while we change the world.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Still don’t believe me?  Just look at these 5 fabulous women who finish their look flawlessly with winged eyeliner.

1. Emma Watson’s eyeliner ability is everything I want to be in life.

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Emma uses winged eyeliner flawlessly to finish off her look.  She’s wearing a cute lacy dress and her hair is tidy, yet the eyeliner gives her a pop of badassery.  She looks fabulous and in control; aka she has harnessed the power of winged eyeliner.

2. Adele is just the picture of beauty.

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This look finishes off Adele’s fantastic blouse with her lipstick and then the winged eyeliner to put her over the top.  Even her hair looks chic, adding to the effect of the strong eyeliner. Be Adele, people.  Just look at her!  She’s so fabulous already and now her makeup just compliments her awesomeness.

3. Lauren Conrad sporting a casual but classy look.

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Everyone can sport a perfect winged eyeliner look if you have the right amount of flair. Lauren Conrad looks simple yet elegant with her top knot and black shirt. The rest of her makeup is light and simple, but the winged eyeliner pulls the look together. She’s so cute and perky in this photo that she is just killin’ it with the eyeliner choice.

4. This beautiful girl killing the makeup game.

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This beautiful girl on Pinterest has a glamorous look. The winged eyeliner adds the perfect amount of sass and drama to the bold red lipstick and smokey brown eyeshadow. If everyday people can harness the power, so can you!

5. And this chick who has taken colorful to a new level.

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One reason why I do like winged eyeliner is that of the variations you can create. You can use different colors, glitter, etc. to make your eyes pop. Look how cool this is. The incorporation of color makes her look super badass. This girl has accomplished the winged eyeliner look and I must say I wish I could do this kind of makeup.

But people have been using winged eyeliner all wrong.  You can’t just throw on this awesome technique every day and call it a look.  It needs eyeshadow and an outfit to go with it.

Let’s look at some women who did not use their winged eyeliner power to its full potential:

1. This model is beautiful, but the eyeliner does nothing beneficial.

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Personally, I wouldn’t call this a look. This is just winged eyeliner that needs something extra in order to complete its purpose.  Eyeshadow, blush or just some lipstick would help out this model’s look and put her winged eyeliner to good use. Right now, it seems as if she has a completely bare face and then there is the harsh contrast of the black eyeliner.

2. Katharine McPhee forgot her eyeshadow.

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Come on, you’ve got the voice, but now you need the look!  Don’t leave your winged eyeliner out in the cold give it some friends in the form or powder or lip gloss. This style of longer, more defined wings is epic, but it needs a little something more to finish itself off in this look.

3. Kesha went a bit too heavy on the wing.

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Kesha, at least add some crazy hair or lipstick to even that whole thing out!  Again, we can’t just let our wings out there on their own.  Makeup needs friends in the form of a killer outfit or just some eyebrow pencil.

4. This girl who needs to lay off the bottom lid.

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In this look, her eyes look closed up and smaller. The harsh eyeliner all around her eyes makes it more dramatic, and with barely anything else on her face, it doesn’t create the best look.

5. Angelina…you need more.

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This look needs more.  I love you Angelina, but this needs more foundation and something more to continue out the fabulousness that is the winged eyeliner.

Winged eyeliner is a powerful makeup tool to transform ourselves into the badasses that we already are inside to show outside.  Makeup is a strong tool that can make an impact or impression on someone before you even talk to them.  In this world of patriarchy and capitalism, it is important to use our arsenal well and correctly to make a strong impact.