The Ultimate Guide to Dating Love + Sex Love Advice

Here’s why your single friend always gives the best relationship advice

Not to toot my own horn, but I think I give excellent dating advice. However, if you were to ask me for my dating credentials, I would hand you a blank piece of paper.

For some, being serially single is not a choice. But for me, it’s a lifestyle.

I have been single for all of my adult life, and I thoroughly enjoy the independence and solitude—which I know freaks people out. While some single people date, I do not.

So how does this make me—and other serially single people—expert at giving dating advice?

Let me let you in on a few secrets of the trade.

The first secret is not actually a secret but a well-known fact: Almost all forms of content are about love.

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Even content that exists outside of traditional romance genres usually includes love and sex. For example, that action movie you just watched, was there a romantic arc in it?


Most movies, television shows, and books have provided blueprints for all kinds of relationships. A lot of these blueprints have helped me understand what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like.

I’ve also read more than a fair share of fanfiction. Honestly, when you asked for my dating credentials, I could have sent you the link to AO3 and, if you’ve ever read any fanfiction, you’d have immediately understood why this gives me so much credible dating insight.

Even being someone who grew up alongside the Internet has made many of us mini experts on random topics. Most of us didn’t necessarily seek this information out; it just appeared on our Tumblr, Twitter, or Instagram feeds.

Here’s the real secret: All relationships are the same.

Whether platonic or romantic, open or closed, monogamous or polyamorous, all relationships are made of the same ingredients. The dictionary definition of relationship describes the connection between people. And we all have experience with that. I may not date, but I do have lots of friends.

Some of my friendships have failed while others have thrived. This has helped me gain insight on communication, boundaries, and respect—insight that applies to both platonic and romantic relationships.

I’ve also watched most of my loved ones experience all kinds of different relationships. As you can imagine, being single gives those of us who are serially single plenty of free time to observe other people’s relationships—and, if you’re a Virgo like me, judge these relationships in order to perfect the advice we give to those who may (or may not) ask.

Just because your single friends haven’t dated anyone—casually, seriously, or at all—doesn’t mean we’re not familiar with the territory. All of our observations add to our dating advice credentials.

In fact, we’re kind of like therapists.

Because we’re removed from romantic situations, we have clarity uncolored by personal bias and experiences.

Most importantly, your serially single friends arguably have the most experience with prioritizing themselves and their needs. This makes us adept at keeping your best interests top of mind if you come to us for romantic advice.

We want you to be yourself and to love who you are. We will encourage you to take the time to learn more about your wants, needs, and goals before diving further into romance.

The best advice I can give as a serially single person is to try out being single. Being single has a lot of perks, the top of which is that it can give you the time, space, and energy to explore you who are.

I’m not saying everyone should be single. I’m just saying don’t knock it till you try it.

And, don’t worry. I promise I won’t say “I told you so” when you realize being single helped you become a better romantic partner.

Happy dating!

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Love Advice

I’m tired of dating this guy – but my family’s pressuring me to get married

Hey Madame Lestrange,

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and he really likes me. I think he’s cool but not so sure I want to actually date anyone right now. Focusing on school and friends has been great. But my parents and friends and everyone else are also always asking about why I’m not with someone or that I’m not married yet. I don’t know what to do.




Hey Tempestina,

If you’re not in a place in your life where you want to be dating, don’t! There is absolutely NO reason for you to be in a relationship or in anything serious if that’s not what you want right now. And there is nothing wrong with that, either. I think it’s shitty that so much of what we’re meant to be proud for or happy about or live for is romantic relationships. Especially as a woman. If you’re satisfied with focusing on school and friends…if that’s what’s keeping you happy right now, stick to it. At the end of the day, your happiness is what’s important.

[bctt tweet=”Maybe this is your gut telling you he’s not right for you.” username=”wearethetempest”]

It’s also completely possible that since you’re not actively interested in being with someone else, your gut is letting you know that the person you’re seeing right now isn’t for you. Even if everything in your life is going amazingly well, I think that if someone really good for you came around, you’d want to be with them. You’d make time for them. You’d be actively interested in adding this person to your already spectacular life.

Maybe this guy isn’t your one. And since other parts of your life are satisfying, you have no need to waste your time.

[bctt tweet=”You’ll never have to sacrifice friendships or your passion for the right person.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Don’t listen to everyone in your life pressuring you to get with someone. It’s obnoxious as hell and pretty much omnipresent. But it’s not a good reason to date someone when (1) you’re not fully interested and (2) you have other things going for yourself that you wanna focus on. Don’t let them make you feel bad for focusing on things in your life that not only make you happy but are also legitimately important. 

Having friendships is vital to your happiness. Getting your degree and studying what you’re passionate about is vital to your happiness. Don’t let them block your shine. Unfortunately, not many people feel that they’re totally happy with their studies and work and friends – people get lonely and want a significant other. But if you’re not there in your life, then WHATEVER! Do you and be happy.

Do you and be happy.

When the right person comes along at the right time, you’ll know, and things can shift around then. And always remember – you’ll never have to sacrifice friendships or your scholarly (or other) passions for the right person. When someone is a good fit for you, they’re a good fit for every aspect of your life. Let this guy go if he’s not that, and keep being awesome on your own.

You’re welcome,

Madame Lestrange


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