Tag: culture

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Pop Culture

Travis Scott shows that fame and ethical responsibility go hand in hand

[Image Description: A picture of Travis Scott.] via Twitter

With great influence, currency and power come great responsibility. Compared to the average person, artists, musicians and actors do in fact have moral obligations towards their fans. For instance, Travis Scott and the mass casualty incident that occurred at Astroworld in November this year.

If you’ve been following Travis Scott throughout the year, you probably already know the broad strokes of the tragedy that occurred on the 8th of November, but here’s a quick introduction: the Astroworld festival was first held in 2018 at NRG Park in Houston. Scott was a huge fan of the amusement park (which closed in 2005) as it inspired his 2018 album. In addition, the festivals have been said to have a specific theme that is particular to Scott’s aesthetic. A merger of Marilyn Manson and Willy Wonka, rides, and swings along with magicians and dancers in full mirror suits. There was an intentional eeriness to it. A murky twist that made otherwise rides suitable for children, appropriate for Scott’s audience that is predominantly young adults.

The causes of this tragedy were entirely due to mundane negligence.

Since 2018, the festival has grown significantly. From 35 000 people attending then, to now 50 000 attendees, forcing the concert to become a two-day event. Back in May, it was said by several outlets that 100 000 tickets sold out in less than an hour. This brings into question what the real number of attendees was. It’s not surprising that 10 people were reported to have died and many injured when the crowd was compressed toward the stage at the  Astroworld concert. It’s more surprising that tragedies like this are not prevented.

Despite the outlandish and thankfully short-lived satanism conspiracy theories, the causes of this tragedy were entirely due to mundane negligence. When examining the principles of crowd management and what may have gone wrong at the festival, there are two things that stand out.  The crowd was plagued with disorderly and even violent elements. According to the Guardian, there was an operations plan in place however, it did not include protocols for a mass crowd outpour. When crowd management is properly adhered to, the staff can identify the characteristics and frequency of the crowd and respond in accordance with a prearranged strategy.

What was more alarming about the management of this event, was that there weren’t enough medics on duty. Those present were not adequately trained, making it almost impossible to walk through the crowds to people in need of help. While the industry requirement is to ensure that for every 250 people there is one crowd manager, there are strict guidelines as to what kind of training those managers must have. Some organizations even offer 15 to 30 minutes of online course training, which underlines the little to no regard the organizer’s had for the safety of the people who attend the event.

The tragedy that happened at the Astroworld concert could have been easily prevented had there been a careful and calculated plan

It’s been reported that Scott tried to stop the concert numerous times in an attempt to draw attention to audience members needing help from medics on duty but he was not aware of the severeness of what was going on. In as much as he may have attempted to stop the show, too many people lost their lives for Scott and his team to not have made responsible decisions.

Scott may say that he cares about his fans, but he has on many occasions has famously encouraged “raging” at his shows. Not only that but the musician does not institute age limits and openly markets himself to younger audiences. In 2017, he encouraged a fan to jump from a second-floor balcony during a show in New York City. It’s uncertain if the fan suffered any injuries, but this is just one of the many reckless acts he has initiated.

The tragedy that happened at the Astroworld concert could have been easily prevented had there been a careful and calculated plan regarding the availability of medics on duty, adequate training for medics and maybe a little compassion shown from Travis Scott and his team would have gone a long way. To be fair we could say that with all the blinding lights, hazy smoke, and an elevated platform, Scott could not have been able to grasp the severity of what was happening in the crowd.  But his crew and management team could. They were on the ground and bearing witness to the cries for help, suffocation, and gruesome scenes of many fans fighting for their lives. Even though Scott was on stage, we have seen many artists over the years pause their performance when a fan needs help or is in distress. In 2011 at London’s Hammersmith Apollo performance, the singer Adele paused the show when someone in the crowd fainted. It was only when medics arrived and the fan was taken care of did she proceed with the performance.

We have seen many artists over the years pause their performance when a fan needs help or is in distress

In the greater scheme of things, this conversation is not about the satanism conspiracy theories that have made their rounds on the internet or music or even unruly crowds. It is about professional responsibility of which Travis Scott is failing dismally at this. He may have a ‘cool’ job, but it comes with a great deal of responsibility and in this case safety and security. In the same way that traditional businesses must ensure that their building is safe to occupy, and offices aren’t fired hazards, artists have a moral, ethical, and legal responsibility to make sure their shows or events are safe for attendees. This is why his brief pauses during the show are not only to blame but were damning and ineffective.

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Categories
Weddings

No, I will not be taking my hijab off for my wedding and you can’t make me

A woman in a dark hijab turning around to smile at the viewer while standing amongst some flowers.
[Image Description: A woman in a dark hijab turning around to smile at the viewer while standing amongst some flowers.] Via Muhammad Ruqi Yaddin on Unsplash.

We often talk about how the hijab is viewed negatively in the Western world. But I don’t think that many people realize that discrimination against the hijab doesn’t only happen in western society. In my experience, it also occurs in my home country, Pakistan, and my own family members are a part of the problem.

My sister and I started wearing the hijab when we were 15 and 13, respectively. For us, it seemed like a natural choice since we’d spent most of our childhood in Saudi Arabia, where the hijab was mandatory. When our family in Pakistan found out we still wore the hijab after moving to Canada in our teen years, they were ecstatic. They thought it was wonderful that we chose this for ourselves and praised us for making seemingly religious choices. 

But that all changed when my sister turned 20 and someone tried to propose to her. Our mother rejected the engagement and it sparked a debate within our entire family. Most of them believed that more proposals would come her way if my sister took off her hijab. I still remember my mother arguing with our aunt who said that hijabs are only meant to look good on girls who are “white, thin, and pretty.” She thought that I was too dark and my sister was too fat, so we were ruining our prospects by sticking to our hijabs.

The worst part about all of this is that my aunt wasn’t entirely wrong. The hijab didn’t make men jump at the chance to marry us. Due to pressure from extended family members, my mother was constantly on the lookout for potential matches for my sister. But every guy who approached would run away just as fast once he heard that she wouldn’t be taking her hijab off for him. 

After a while, my sister did it. She found a guy who seemed accepting of who she was and agreed to marry him after a year. Suddenly, the tune the family was singing changed, but not for the better. Everyone asked if she’d be taking her hijab off for the wedding and discussing how beautiful she would look in this or that hairdo. They tried to talk my mother into making my sister buy lehengas, which would show off her midriff and arms. This completely goes against the very purpose of wearing a hijab.

To reach a compromise with my family, I nominated myself as my sister’s makeup artist and hairstylist for the wedding day and began experimenting with different hijab styles. We naively thought that if we could show them that the hijab could be dolled up, they would accept her decision. They did not. In the end, when the engagement was broken off, they simply returned to their earlier comments about taking off the hijab to score a husband.

The sheer amount of criticism that came with all this has my sister unsure about whether she ever wants to have a wedding, let alone one in Pakistan with our family. It hurt to watch my sister try and deal with the harsh judgment and then come to realize that her opinions hold no value in our community. It hurts more to think that other Pakistani brides might have to put up with the same level of harassment all over one headscarf. 

My sister was always much more staunch in her love of the hijab. Truth be told, I started wearing it on the condition that it would be pink and glittery. If you asked me just two years back, I might have given in to the family pressure and agreed to take off my hijab for my wedding.

Yet, knowing the struggle and judgment that comes with making a choice has given me an appreciation for the fact that it was a choice. However petty my reason is, it is my choice to put on the hijab, and I will be damned if I let someone else try to make decisions about my body and my attire for that one day in my life.

Now I can say with confidence that I will not be taking my hijab off for my wedding.

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Categories
Life Stories Weddings

Being engaged for two months made me realize I don’t want a marriage

A hand with an engagement ring being held loosely by a larger hand.
[Image description: A hand with an engagement ring being held loosely by a larger hand.] Via Rachel McDermott on Unsplash

The idea of marriage and a wedding was never a question of if, but when. I grew up in a fairly conservative Pakistani household and I was very close to my mother. She has been my idol for all of my life, and I have wanted to live up to the image of the amazing woman who raised me. She came from a complicated family background, but she put her all into giving my siblings and me a stable upbringing and all the opportunities we could ever ask for. Somewhere along the way, I decided that she was the kind of person I needed to grow up to be, a kind-hearted mother who loves her children. Getting married and having children seemed like the future I should work towards, the ultimate goal in a way. 

But of course, it didn’t end there. I grew up, like many young women, in love with Disney princess movies. Something about the fairytale stories of a young woman meeting a dashing prince, going on these fantastical adventures before ending with a huge, magical wedding just spoke to me. I spent most of my life believing in these dreams, thinking somehow that marriage and children would be the big thing I strived towards. 

When my older sister received her first proposal, she was scared. She was concerned if they would be a good fit as a couple and worried over all these details of their life together that I couldn’t even understand. If anything, I was excited for her. This was it, her big wedding! I couldn’t care less about who he was as a person. I went ahead and planned all the details for her potential wedding. I pulled out all the stops for this supposed wedding, despite the fact that she never agreed to the engagement, and later went on to reject his proposal. I still have the document I typed up with pictures and wedding details. Each time some other guy came to propose to my sister, I would pull it out and add to it.



As the younger daughter, I’m not expected to get engaged or married until my older sister does. Add to that the fact that I was a med school hopeful for most of my time at university, and everyone assumed that I would not marry until later in life. I was fine with living vicariously through my sister until then.

Then at 22, I accidentally ended up engaged. It was a stupid move, and every friend I spoke to tried to warn me against it, but I didn’t care. In my family, an engagement is essentially the dating period. We don’t ever enter a relationship without the intention of marriage. But even considering that, this engagement was pretty casual. He was a friend of a friend. He didn’t even live close enough for the two of us to visit or meet up. In fact, during the two months of the relationship, I never once met him in person. We just talked over the phone and texted, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that this wasn’t for me.

We met right around my birthday. He sent me this sweet and sappy message about how he was so glad to have me in his life. I felt so uncomfortable that my only reaction was to laugh out loud when I read it. No one understood it when I tried to explain how the message made my skin crawl. The more serious he got, the more I felt sick to my stomach. It’s not a feeling I can really put into words, but all the talk about our future, living together, and the hypothetical children I thought I wanted didn’t sit right with me when the words and ideas were coming from him.

But I still didn’t want to back out. I pulled out those plans for my sister’s wedding and began reworking them for my wedding. That feeling kept me in this relationship. But I knew it couldn’t last forever. He started getting clingy, he wanted to talk to me more. In hindsight, he was justified in asking for more of my time, but I wasn’t interested in him enough to care about his needs. I only saw him as becoming a hassle, someone I would have to tolerate instead of someone I would happily spend the rest of my life with. I once even told my mother that I’m more interested in trading him for a robot husband instead – I could have my wedding without dealing with another person in the mix.

It got messier after that, with several petty arguments left and right. There was one fight that he thought he could win by giving me the silent treatment. Unfortunately for him, that silence was everything I wanted. The next time we spoke, it fell into yet another argument. This was the straw that broke the camel’s back and the whole thing was called off the next day. I happily moved on, packing up all my wedding plans and studying for the upcoming exams.

It’s been over a year since my engagement ended. I’ve spoken to several other potential suitors and it’s always the same. I stick it out for the idea of a pretty, magical wedding where I get to be a princess for the event. But inevitably, things break down and I move on to the next wedding plan.



I like the idea of love and romance. It sounds beautiful. But somehow, when actually faced with the realities of it and coupled with the responsibilities of marriage, I crack. I’ve never found myself capable of caring about these men the way they claim to care for me; they remain faceless entities I use to check off on my list of goals. It sounds callous, but it’s not that I want someone else to suffer for my little fantasy wedding. I don’t think I have the emotional energy to spare on someone else and I don’t know if I ever will.

And maybe that’s okay. I’m fulfilled by my family and my career aspirations. I am happy with life. And one day I’ll earn enough money and throw myself that big wedding and be my own princess.

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Categories
Career Now + Beyond

Just because I teach children does not mean I have maternal instincts

[Image Description: Woman standing in front of children in a classroom setting.] Via Unsplash.

While I have never thought of myself to be particularly maternal, I find it relatively easier to work with children. This is why I have increasingly considered exploring a career in teaching. However, this may come with a cost. In an interaction with a distant relative, I expressed my interest in pursuing teaching as a career and simultaneously not wanting children of my own. What followed next was an inexhaustible lecture on how having children is one of the greatest pleasures of life. I tried to explain how I do not picture myself as a mother in the future. According to them, however, I might have the instincts in me somewhere because nothing else can explain my desire for teaching. On the contrary, I think that teaching as a profession would provide me with a sense of fulfilment that is separate from my parental choices.

It is often inherently assumed that most women want children of their own at some point in their lives. In recent years, there has been a growing conversation about normalizing women not wanting children of their own due to various reasons. Many women choose to prioritize their careers instead of starting a family. More often than not, these women are still interrogated and counseled on the importance of having children. Ever since I began teaching, I have been questioned by various colleagues and friends about having changed my opinions on having children. I, however, do not feel that teaching has affected my maternal instincts. 



Teaching is often perceived as a gendered occupation. Whilst this has changed in recent years with more men entering teaching, it still remains largely female-dominated. According to author Bryan J. Nelson lack of male teachers is mainly because “working with children is seen as a woman’s work, men are not nurturing and something must be wrong with them if they choose to work with children.” Nelson explained that there is also the existence of a fear that men are more likely to harm or abuse children compared to women. It is difficult to determine whether or not men are more likely to be abusive than women in teaching, however, these stereotypical notions have undoubtedly added to the gender gap in the profession.

There seems to be a preconceived notion that all teachers would want to have children of their own. Even if they initially begin their careers with not wanting children, after spending an ample amount of time with kids it is assumed that they would eventually embrace motherhood. I, however, wish to challenge this view. As a teacher myself, I have never felt the desire to have children of my own even after spending long hours working with them.

I began teaching in my early teens and since then I have periodically taken on teaching/tutoring jobs. In all my jobs thus far, I have found teaching to be the most gratifying and a career that I see a future in. However, not once have I felt the desire to have children of my own. People may assume that this will change once I get married but I have also spoken to teachers who are married and would not like to have children of their own. Some teachers have also said that they would not have had children of their own had they began their careers before having children.

People find it difficult to dissociate one’s career choices from their life choices.

People often say that ‘childless teachers cannot truly understand children’. This statement automatically implies that women without children may not have maternal instincts. Maternal instinct, however, is largely a myth. It comes from deep love, devotion, intense closeness, and time spent thinking about the child. And is not limited to just mothers. Psychotherapist Dana Dorfman agrees that many aspects of maternal instincts are a myth. It is not necessary to be a mother to understand and care for children. Understanding and care come from observation and experiences. Many people land in jobs that they have had no prior experience in, however, with time they learn and excel at their job. So, why are teachers subjected to this form of generalization?

The idea that being a teacher affects one’s maternal instincts or vice versa is largely misogynistic as it exposes the underlying trend of women being incomplete without children. In the case of teachers, it becomes rather problematic because people find it difficult to dissociate one’s career choices from their life choices.

Globally women have gained greater autonomy to choose their careers and overcome misogynistic trends prevalent in societies. Choosing teaching as a career option and simultaneously not wanting children is largely questioned and viewed skeptically. So much so that people often go to extreme lengths to explain to me that working with children will lead to me changing my mind sooner rather than later. However, that is yet to happen.

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Categories
TV Shows Pop Culture

Ahead of the “Gossip Girl” reboot, let’s remember why the original show is problematic

[Image description: The characters in Gossip Girl stand on the stairs of their high school. ] Via James Devaney
[Image description: The characters in Gossip Girl stand on the stairs of their high school. ] Via James Devaney

Like many teenage girls, Gossip Girl was one of my favorite shows to watch in high school. As a small-town girl from Texas, I was intrigued by the aristocratic lifestyle and elitism of the Upper East Side. The show focuses on the scandal and lifestyle of wealthy students at an exclusive Upper-East Side prep-school as an unknown source named “Gossip Girl” exposes their darkest secrets. From underage drinking to affairs with minors, Gossip Girl reinforced the “rich people don’t face consequences” stereotype of upper-class New Yorkers in my mind. Out of all the characters, Chuck Bass, the arrogant son of a billionaire, best exemplifies the privilege and sense of recklessness that the upper-class has. 

While he had the greatest character redemption out of all the characters in the show, Chuck Bass’s storyline completely overlooked his attempts to sexually assault multiple minors throughout the story, including his stepsister. In the pilot episode, Chuck forces himself on Serena, despite her explicitly saying “no” and pushing him away multiple times. He doesn’t relent until she kicks him in the groin to push him off. 

In the same episode, Chuck forces himself upon Jenny Humphery, a naive freshman in high school. As Chuck is about to rape her, Dan (Jenny’s brother) and Serena (his date) find them and save Jenny. Towards the end of the series, Jenny Humphery loses her virginity to Chuck (consensually). While Chuck’s attempted sexual assaults are inherently problematic, the aftermath of it was even worse. 

The show casually glanced over both incidents and turned Chuck into one of the heroes of the show, without acknowledging his previous behavior and the consequences of sexual assault. Serena and Chuck became close friends by the end of the series, portraying an idealistic narrative of the impacts of sexual assault. In reality, many survivors struggle with the trauma of being assaulted and often cannot be around their assailant(s). Jenny losing her virginity to her assailant undermined the consequences of Chuck’s actions and diminished the healing process of survivors. 

In addition, minors having affairs with adults was a significant part of the plotline of the show. Dan has an affair with his English teacher while he is in her class. Nate has an affair with multiple older women for networking purposes and Serena dates her former teacher after graduating high school. In reality, most of these relationships were predatorial and glorified having sex with minors. These relationships were also hypersexualized and the problematicness of them was not highlighted in the show. 

On the other side of the problematic sexual relationships were the problematic friendships; Blair and Serena’s friendship consistently played into the “bitchy” female friendship troupe. Any friendships between women in the show were based on lies, blackmailing, or ulterior motives such as revenge. Given the demographic of the viewers (young women), these friendships set a poor example of what healthy friendships should look like. 

The female friendships in the show were not only toxic, but they were also often classist. Blair and her “minions” were the upper-class, wealthy heiresses who were at the top of the social hierarchy at their high school. They asserted their dominance by bullying less wealthy students such as Jenny and made classist comments about others. The shaming of others for their socio-economic background was not ironic, it was integral to the personalities of each character, many of which were made into the heroes of the show. 

While Gossip Girl may be a fan-favorite of many young viewers, many of the ideals that are portrayed in the show do not hold up today, and likely didn’t hold up when the show was first released either. As culture changes, what is and isn’t acceptable changes as well. When watching older shows such as Gossip Girl, we should be cognizant of the era in which they were filmed and the change in values over time, rather than using them as stepping stones to justify our own values in a different time period. 

Recently, producers revealed that Gossip Girl will be having a reboot. This reboot will be a second chance for the show to address some of the issues from the original show by including more thoughtful scenes regarding issues that teenagers currently face i.e. mental health issues and portray a more accurate picture of how we cope with them. It will also be an opportunity to become more inclusive by including LGBTQ+ characters and more characters of color in lead roles. In doing so, this reboot has the potential to change the legacy of the original show, without changing the main plotline that viewers fell in love with.

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Categories
History Historical Badasses

Savitribai Phule was the feminist teacher from the 1850s we wish we had in high school

[Image description: A painting of Savitribai Phule, an Indian social reformer.] Via India Today
[Image description: A painting of Savitribai Phule, an Indian social reformer.] Via India Today

Because of British colonization, women’s rights were nonexistent in 19th century India; women were largely confined to domestic roles and were not allowed to receive an education. Despite such patriarchal restrictions, Savitribai Phule, an Indian teacher, and feminist, established the first school for girls in India in 1848 with the help of her husband, Jyotirao Phule. Savitribai’s trailblazing in women’s education is a testament to the resilience of feminists. 

Like most other married Indian women, Savitribai was not literate at the time of her marriage at age nine. After being educated by her husband and his friends, Savitribai enrolled herself in training programs for teachers at two institutions, the Normal School and an institution in Ahmednagar. 

Later, she began to teach alongside Sagunabai, another revolutionary Indian feminist. Eventually, the Bhides and Sagunabai founded their own school at Bhide Wada, the home of Tatya Saheb Bhide, a man who was inspired by the work of the trio. 

During this time, education was limited to male Brahmins (a caste) and involved the teachings of the Vedas and Shastras. Savitribai’s school was unique in that it taught mathematics, science, and social studies instead of Hindu texts. It was also open to people of all castes, including women. 

However, not everyone supported Savitribai’s endeavors; Savitribai would carry an extra sari with her to school because people would hurl stones and dirt at her while she was walking. By educating people of lower castes and women, Savitribai was radically changing the status quo. Knowledge is power, so her work empowered hundreds of people from historically marginalized communities in India. 

After being kicked out of their house by her husband’s father for their work in the community, the Phules lived with Usman Sheikh and his sister, Fatima Sheikh. Fatima is known as the first Muslim female teacher of India and opened a school alongside Savitribai. Their friendship exemplified feminist sisterhood and empowerment. 

Outside of her educational accomplishments, Savitribai was also a staunch feminist and poet. She authored two notable collections of poetry, Kavya Phule in 1854 and Bavan Kashi Subodh Ratnakar in 1892. Through her writing, she was able to encourage people from marginalized communities to break free from the chains of oppression by getting an education. 

Later, she founded multiple organizations to raise awareness for women’s rights, infanticide, and caste-based violence. The Mahila Seva Mandal forged gatherings between women of all castes and encouraged all of the women to sit together on the same mat. In her house, she created the House for the Prevention of Infanticide as a safe space for widowed Brahmin women to deliver their babies and leave them there under her care. At the same time, she campaigned against child marriage and lobbied for widow remarriage. 

After her husband’s death, Savitribai chaired a session for the Satyashodhak Samaj, an organization that serves the interests of non-Brahmins. At this time, a woman chairing an organization was unprecedented and revolutionary. Through these efforts, Savitribai also initiated the first Satyashodkah marriage, which is a marriage without a dowry, Brahmin priests, or Brahminical rituals. 

Savitribai also founded a clinic to take care of patients with the bubonic plague. She passed away in 1897 while taking care of a patient with the bubonic plague in the clinic. While she passed away more than a century ago, her legacy is honored annually in Maharastra on January 3rd, known as Balika Din (Day of Girls). 

Balika Din is a holiday dedicated to educating people about legislation that protects young girls and is dedicated to the welfare of young girls in India. Women are still actively discriminated against in India through sexual assault, sex-selective abortions, and patriarchal gender roles. Savitribai’s work was the first step towards promoting gender equality in modern India. 

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Categories
Up and Coming Movies Pop Culture

What movies are coming out this December?

movie poster collage
[Image Description: Collage of posters of upcoming movie releases] Left to Right: The Prom, Ma Rainey's Black Bottom, Wonder Woman 1984, Death on the Nile, Let Them All Talk

We’ve had a good time binging The Crown’s latest season and gushing over Anya Taylor-Joy in The Queen’s Gambit. But that doesn’t mean the fun is over because there are so many films scheduled for release this December. And hopefully we’ll be able get to witness the greatness in theatres soon enough.

I absolutely miss being able to have a night out with friends at the theatres; buying the overpriced snacks and walking out the dark room feeling as though I’m in an alternate reality. Well, the season’s tidings bring merry news of being able to experience it all over again!

So, if you’re a film enthusiast like me and have been anticipating these upcoming releases, sit back, enjoy the movie selection and save the date for your favorite picks!

1) Mank (December 4th)

mank poster via. IMDB
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Mank’ starring  Gary Oldman, Amanda Seyfried and Lily Collins] via IMDB
Set in the 1930’s, Hollywood takes a new form, this time we’re given the point of view of the legendary screenwriter Herman J. Mank. You can watch the enthralling black and white biography on Netflix.

2) Nomadland (December 4th)

Nomadland poster
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Nomadland’ in number plate style] via IMDB
Ever wonder what trekking around America would be like? Nomadland portrays exactly that. This film releases in theatres and shows the story of a woman who chooses to explore beyond life beyond everyday conventions.


3) Let Them All Talk (December 10th)

Let Them All Talk poster via. IMDB.
[Movie poster for ‘Let Them All Talk’ starring Meryl Streep] via IMDB
Who doesn’t enjoy a good self-reflection, especially when it involves a cruise and your two best friends! And where there are old friendships involved, there’s got to be drama! Tune in to Meryl Streep’s journey as an author who reconnects with her old gal pals and revives her youth. You can find out the details of what goes down exclusively on HBO Max.

4) The Prom (December 11th)

The Prom -Meryl Streep poster via. Ryan Murphy's Instagram
[Image Description: Meryl Streep ‘The Prom’ poster] via Ryan Murphy’s Instagram
Hold up… You’re telling me Meryl Streep is hitting the stage again? I couldn’t have heard better news. Ryan Murphy’s bringing back our Dancing Queen. This time she’s with Nicole Kidman and James Corden, all ready to give us a smashing prom musical style. And you can witness it courtesy of Netflix.

5) Death on the Nile (December 18th)

Death on the Nile poster via. the MovieWeb
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Death on the Nile’ displaying a cruise ship] via IMDB
Bump up your winter plans with a love triangle and a steamy murder mystery! Coming to theatres we have Gal Gadot, Armie Hammer, Letitia Wright, Emma Mackey, and Kenneth Branagh, roped into a murder motivated by love and lust. Talk about a killer cast! 

6) Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom (December 18th)

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom movie poster
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom’ starring Viola Davis and Chadwick Boseman] via IMDB
Revolving around a beautiful story about the earliest African-American blues singer, Ma Rainey, this Netflix film showcases the beauty in culture and music. Although that’s not all. We also get to witness the great Chadwick Boseman (may he rest in power) on the screen one last time. I already know the film will be immensely heartfelt!

7) The Midnight Sky (December 23rd)

The Midnight Sky poster via. IMDB
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘The Midnight Sky’ starring George Clooney] via IMDB
Venture into the depths of the universe in this heart-wrenching and intense sci-fi film starring and directed by our favorite George Clooney -based on the novel Good Morning, Midnight. Exclusive on Netflix.

8) Wonder Woman 1984 (December 25th)

Wonder Woman poster via. IMDB
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Wonder Woman 1984’ starring Gal Gadot] via IMDB
We’ve all awaited the return of Wonder Woman. She’s back and she’s upgraded, giving the phrase ‘girl power’ a whole new meaning. You can catch her and the dreamy Steve Trevor, once again in theatres on Christmas Day. It really is a Christmas Miracle!

9) Soul (December 25th)

Soul poster via. IMDB
[Image Description: Movie poster for Disney’s ‘Soul’] via IMDB
Disney and Pixar are about to make everyone’s Christmas extra magical. Hop onto your Disney+ to stream the movie with your loved ones and find a new reason to love life. It’s exactly the kind of spirit everybody needs and this movie is here to deliver it!

10) News of the World (December 25th)

News of the World movie poster
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘News of the World’ starring Tom Hanks] via IMDB
This heart-warming film features Tom Hanks as a non-fiction story-teller who travels across lands. His mission to care for a young girl whom he finds amidst his travels is filled with emotion. The passion in this movie is definitely going to be one you could feel whilst watching it in theatres.

11) Monster Hunter (December 25th)

Monster Hunter poster via. IMDB
[Image Description: Movie poster for ‘Monster Hunter’ starring Milla Jovovich] via IMDB
Monster Hunter is set in an alternate world filled with beasts and a battle for survival, whilst the world hangs in the balance of it all. If you’re into action-packed thrillers, you’ll want to get tickets as an early Christmas present to watch in the theatre. Did I mention it’s based upon a videogame? The graphics already look amazing!

I know my plans for December just upgraded because I’ll be spending A LOT of my time watching these films! If you missed some of November’s releases, here they are.

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College 101 Best Friends Forever Life

I considered myself a loner until I started university

A group of women stand together near a river
[Image description: A group of women stand together near a river ]via Pexels

Something I didn’t realize about my friends in primary school was that they, with the exception of one girl, were all white. Of course, it didn’t matter then and doesn’t matter now, but I never realized how much my ethnicity had alienated me from most of the school.

I only realized my struggle to integrate with the other kids at school when I had gotten to secondary school where I was labeled a coconut; a brown girl with white girl-isms. My school was mostly white back then – it probably had something to do with the area I grew up in. For context, my neighbor used to be Tony Blair. My primary school had an estimate of 10-15 non-white kids so you can imagine the clashes I had with a lot of the kids when they would make fun of my culture and beliefs. I could refer to the boy who decided to rip my hijab off my head when I first started wearing it at eight years old, but I’ll put that down to him simply being Islamophobic. I thought I was the brownest kid you could possibly get in the area until I walked through the halls of secondary school, an experience that continues to haunt me even now. 

In primary school, I struggled to make lifelong friends because I was brown and different. Surely secondary school was set to be easier? After all, my parents had made the conscious decision for me to integrate more with the people of my culture. Yeah, that’s not how it went. 

I developed social anxiety at a very young age – the thought of meeting new people terrified me and I had the worst timing for becoming timid. Going into secondary school made me realize that perhaps people who I had previously considered my friends weren’t really – not to blame them though. We were all young and knew nothing about keeping in touch. Well not with me anyways, my previous friend group are still friends to this day. I was apparently more difficult to reach because my parents were ‘too strict’ for their liking. In reality, they were just Asian. Their parenting ideas were a little different from their parents and that made ‘my friends’  uncomfortable. 

Oddly though, I had the opposite problem when I got to secondary school. The brown kids would bully me saying my parents weren’t Bangladeshi enough and I failed as a Bangladeshi girl – something I hadn’t heard before. My accent was ‘too white’, my sentences too complex, I didn’t speak a word of slang and I read for fun. Somehow, that was really white to them. It didn’t help that my lovely sister was a beautiful and intelligent individual while I was quite the opposite; shy, fat and recused. It’s safe to say I didn’t make any friends in secondary school either. Does it get better for me in sixth form? No. Secondary school left too many scars for me to focus on making friends. I was beside myself trying to pull myself out of a really dark place. 

My parents forced me to go to university – I know what you’re thinking “your parents can’t make you do anything”. Wrong. My parents could but not in a malicious way that benefits them.  Rather in a way that always filled me with hope. 

My dad had told me that everyone was an adult by this stage, if they had time left to bully someone, consider them pathetic and walk past them. Always easier said than done but in September of 2015, I walked through the hallways of the university making my way to orientation, nervous as heck. Thankfully for me, this girl who had come into the lecture late wasn’t. I felt a light tap on my arm and a voice asking if this was the right place. Denying eye contact I nodded only to be smacked in the arm as she pushed up a seat next to me. “You and me? We’re friends now. You’re stuck with me” the girl said. I was stuck with her and we are friends, even now. But I didn’t luck out at just one friend. There’s my friend who calls herself the fish and chip kid (apparently that’s what people in Somalia call British-Somali kids), my friend who takes enjoyment in towering over me with all six feet of her and my friend who decided that the best way to become my friend was to hold my hand while staring at a video of BTS’ Jimin dancing blindfolded. Sure, my friend group is small but it’s all I’ve ever needed – a kind face or two. My background meant nothing to them unlike it did to the kids back in my early stages of education. I could finally, unapologetically, be myself. 

My friends mean so much to me; after all my years of struggling to connect with people, I learned that it’s not impossible and there are genuinely good people out there in the world. The thing I’ve yet to learn is to go pursue friends myself as all my friends had to approach me.  It’s ok though. Knowing that I have friends that have my back is all I need for a long while.

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The Breakdown Race Inequality

Cultural Appropriation vs. Cultural Appreciation: Know the difference

[Image Description: A white woman poses to the camera, she is wearing a traditional Indian dress, a bindi and jewelry] Via Pixabay
[Image Description: A white woman poses to the camera, she is wearing a traditional Indian dress, a bindi and jewelry] Via Pixabay

The Breakdown is a Tempest exclusive series that attempts to tackle issues, concepts, terms, and histories that are relevant and intrinsic to conversations about social justice. This is our version of a 101 on Social Justice, with a grassroot level approach that hopes to simplify and make political and cultural conversations accessible in a global level.

The debate around cultural appropriation versus cultural appreciation has existed for a while. However, it gained significant momentum recently after the re-emergence of the Black Lives Matter movement after criticism against how Black culture has been heavily appropriated in pop culture and fast fashion. Since May a number of celebrities, influencers, and brands have been called out for cultural appropriation on mass media. One such example is Reformation – a sustainable clothing brand – who was called out for the lack of Black models on their Instagram feed. The brand has since attempted to diversify its feed. On the other hand, rapper Bhad Bhabie came under fire for comparing herself to Tarzan and had to defend herself against accusations of appropriating Black culture.  

But there’s always a question when you see people donned up in clothes, ornaments, or participating in things that are not part of their culture. Are they appropriating another culture or is it appreciation? 

The academic definition of cultural appropriation is “taking over of creative or artistic forms, themes, or practices by one cultural group from another. It is in general used to describe Western appropriations of non‐Western or non‐white forms, and carries connotations of exploitation and dominance.” Appropriation involves enacting on certain parts of a culture such as clothing or hairstyle without a full understanding of the culture and reinforcing stereotypes or holding prejudices against its people. It can also involve not crediting the culture itself or its creators.

An example of cultural appropriation could be wearing a bindi. Buying a bindi from a tourist shop or a company that just produces the item does not give you the full perspective of the culture. In fact, in some ways, it creates a false perspective that it is just merely a decorative ornament. Bindi symbolizes different aspects of the Hindu culture and Indian women who wear it, do so with significance to their culture. 

Wearing a bindi or another piece representing a specific culture might get you positive attention or appreciation. However, when someone from the same culture wears an item from their culture but gets more negative remarks than positive is where it becomes problematic. For instance, wearing a ‘hipster’ headdress is not okay. The warbonnet headdress perpetuated by Hollywood projects the view that all Native American’s have the same culture. There are, however, approximately 500+ distinct tribes with their own cultures. Warbonnets or feather headdresses are not a fashion choice but a symbol of respect and honor that needs to be earned. 

People are straight-up told that their cultural practices are old-fashioned or conservative. Often times, they may be told to conform to the social norms, or worst case, they may become a target for hate crimes. Remember, when Zac Efron wore dreadlocks “just for fun”? To which, he was reminded that Black people get turned down on job interviews for wearing locs and braids. 

Cultural appreciation, on the other hand, involves appreciating and taking an interest to understand another culture. This involves sharing knowledge with permission and credit those who belong to that culture. For instance, when you purchase an item you buy it directly from the creators. You understand how the item is intended to be used and learn the value it holds in the culture.

Once, a friend of mine was invited to attend a sermon at the mosque. Despite being agnostic herself, she explained to me that she understands the significance of wearing a headscarf to the mosque and respects it. Therefore, she intended on bringing a headscarf to the mosque and cover her hair to show respect during the sermon.

Cultural appreciation involves paying respect to the artists and creators and understanding the origins of a culture. Remember, 2015 Met Gala’s high-risk ‘China through the looking glass’ theme? Rihanna was one of the few attendees of the gala who wore a dress that was crafted by an esteemed Chinese designer. It is not the perfect contextualization but at least a more suitable one. 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to know the difference between cultural appropriation and cultural appreciation. Romanticizing and sexualizing certain cultural aspects whilst rejecting other aspects that do not interest you trivializes the culture. Appropriation perpetuates stereotypes and racism. It obstructs the views and voices of those who belong to the culture giving it to those who have appropriated it. 

With Halloween just around the corner, here is a quick reminder that culturally appropriated costumes are offensive and should not be worn. Wearing costumes that are cultural stereotypes literally reduces an entire culture and its people to a costume. Need I remind you of Scott Disick’s costume of a ‘Sheikh’ or Julianna Hough who darkened her face to portray a character from Orange Is the New Black. A good idea is to do some research and find out whether or not your costume is racist. Bear in mind though, if you need to do a lot of explaining as to why your costume is not racist, then it is a sign that you should reconsider. (Here is a handy guide of “costumes” you should NOT be wearing)

The bottom line here is that there is a fine line between appropriation and appreciation. We live in an increasingly globalized world and it is important to be mindful of our words and actions. Certain behaviors are never appreciative and should be avoided. It is a learning process but one that is not too difficult. Keep educating yourself because, at the end of the day, we all learn and grow everyday.

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TV Shows Movies Pop Culture

Why are plus size women always relegated to the comic relief sidekick?

[Image description: a collage of seven examples of the funny fat women trope]
[Image description: a collage of seven examples of the funny fat women trope]

We all know the trope. The main character is skinny, white, pretty. She can be goofy, but rarely at her own expense. Her love stories are the focus of the plot. She always has a funny sidekick, often a woman of color, and most commonly a plus-size woman. She’s there to provide emotional support and a witty one-liner or two. Think of Sookie in Gilmore Girls, who plays second fiddle to thin and quirky Lorelai Gilmore. Or think of Etta Candy in every incarnation of Wonder Woman. Even children’s shows, like Total Drama Island, Good Luck Charlie, and Austin and Ally repeat these tropes. Don’t fat women deserve better?

It’s nice to see fat women in the media, for once, but why do they always have to be funny? Almost every larger woman in TV or the movies is basically a walking joke. Sure, it’s gotten more diverse, but the representation itself has barely improved. Fat women are still relegated to comic relief or goofy sidekick. You might say we’re a long way from the Fat Monica gags on Friends, but that’s not true. Think about Insatiable, featuring Debby Ryan, which treats its main character as a joke until she loses weight. That’s the same formula, isn’t it?

Let’s consider some of the most popular plus-size actresses around now. Melissa McCarthy and Rebel Wilson both broke into the mainstream years ago, and their popularity has rarely floundered. They’ve both been in dozens of TV shows and movies, usually playing comedic roles, which they do brilliantly. Rebel Wilson just recently had her first starring role in a romantic comedy, for which she garnered critical praise. Melissa McCarthy won an Academy Award for her dramatic lead role in Can You Ever Forgive Me? However, if you ask most people, they primarily think of them as comedic actors or side characters. Why is that? They’ve both shown that they have range, and both immense comedic and dramatic talent. They’ve both played lead roles. So why do we relegate them to comedic side characters when they’ve proven that they’re capable of so much more?



These two women are success stories, however. Most plus-size actresses never get the chance to expand into dramatic acting. Skinny comedic actresses have plenty of opportunities to break into dramatic acting, even if they’re not particularly talented actors. Skinny comedic actors also get totally different treatment. Actresses like Jennifer Aniston and Anna Kendrick are in plenty of rom-coms, but when they’re funny, it’s quirky and cute. They’re rarely the butt of a rude joke. Furthermore, these skinny comedic actors are able to break into dramatic roles with ease. Plus size actresses have to prove over and over again that they’re worthy of serious roles, whereas skinny actresses can easily transition from comedy to drama and vice versa. 

The problem I see with this is that plus size women constantly have to prove their worth to others time and time over to be taken even remotely seriously. They need to be funny and willing to make jokes at their own expense in return for our consideration. We require humor and self-deprecation from fat women, in return for the common human decency we all return. Fat women don’t need to put on a performance to earn their keep. They are capable of the same range of emotions and humanity as the rest of us.

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We deserve more fat women on television, and not just as comedic sidekicks.

I want fat women in periodic dramas, with pretty dresses and dramatic love triangles. I want to see fat women in rom-coms, having meet-cutes and falling for handsome heartthrobs. Let’s see some fat girls in coming-of-have fantasy stories, as the chosen one, as the hero.

Plus size girls and women have every right to just as beautiful, dramatic, and tragic as their skinny counterparts. For once, I’d like to see a version of Gilmore Girls where a plus size mother and daughter are the protagonists, and get to be cute and quirky and fun. I’d like to see a fat Wonder Woman too.

A woman’s value should never be dictated by her size, and that’s true in television as well as in real life. Let the big girls be the heroes for once. They deserve it.

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Life

How absurdism taught me to embrace the chaos in my life

[Image Description: A woman wearing a hijab holds an abstract vase in a studio. Via Pexels]
[Image Description: A woman wearing a hijab holds an abstract vase in a studio. Via Pexels]

“A little boy in a cowboy suit, writing in a puddle with a stick, a dog approaching. Deaf or dumb, the boy is, like anyone, a little timid, partly stupid, ashamed, afraid, like us, like you. He is there. Picture the boy. See his eyes. Sympathize with his little closes. Now, break his arm. Picture violin section. The violins are on fire. (The following is said almost without anger as if it’s just another request) Now go fuck yourselves.”
–Thom Pain (Based on Nothing), Will Eno.

That’s a little absurdism for you there. The next few lines go into the character trying to sound like he’s fine, but he really isn’t. He is spiraling while trying to understand the colloquial term ‘whatever’ because he thinks it will describe how he wants to feel. Did you get that? I hope so. Because underneath the strangeness is a deep vulnerability– and joy in being alive. 

It doesn’t want to have a purpose, it embraces being purposeless.

At its core, absurdism is rooted in social activism and rebellion against the norm. At a time when everyone was taking art very seriously and enforcing standards on artist’s practices, absurdists challenged the system. They said, what if we make an art form that defies expectations by being intentionally bizarre? When everything around us is so devoid of reason, embracing irrationality and strangeness may be the next best thing. 

With the current pandemic, there is little that we can control. At first, I felt so powerless against it all. That’s when I turned to absurdism. It doesn’t want to have a purpose, it embraces being purposeless. The Dadaist slogan of “art for art’s sake” and absurdism’s love of nonsense is exactly the type of energy we need to be bringing into our lifestyles. 

Absurdism taught me to embrace chaos and life not making sense (most of the time). I spent most of my life, as I expect a majority of you did, trying to assign value to myself by the things that I achieved and the decisions I made. Wanting my life to mean something, I quickly grew desperate when things did not turn out as I imagined.

Absurdism taught me to embrace chaos and life not making sense (most of the time).

Take, for instance, applying to jobs or sharing creative work. There is a powerlessness that I feel every single time. I can’t help but think that I am putting myself out there to be judged– which I am, to a certain extent. Recently, after being ghosted by a couple of jobs I had applied to, I was starting to fear that the rest of the year would be the same. All my efforts seemed to be in vain. Keen to maintain a certain image I had of my life, I started reaching out to places that I had no interest in. But I soon became so thankful that things turned out the way they did when a professor reached out to me, excited to have me on board to work on her screenplay– something I deeply enjoyed doing.

Like that last line by Will Eno, I often forgot that life was full of surprises. I learned to be okay with it. More than that, to be happy.

By reading absurdist writers, I embraced the joy of being surprised. I found humor in unexpected things. There was a strength in accepting chaos that I did not find anywhere else. When it seems like the year is going entirely on its own path, I cling to these teachings more than ever. We can’t be stubborn and try to force the year to go in the direction we want it to. We are doing more damage by pulling on the leash and digging our feet into the ground then if we let loose a little and see where the year is headed. 

All in all, when things don’t work out, whether it is with your school, career, or relationship prospects, remind yourself that having ‘nothing’ going on shouldn’t be terrible. Just take Daniil Kharm’s The Red-Haired Man, where at the end he admits that he is writing nonsense and gives up entirely. This poem has gotten me out of all types of ruts, both creative and personal.

We can all take a note from absurdism. If we embrace chaos in this way, we can enhance our own sense of wellbeing.

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College 101 Dedicated Feature Life

This is why you should study abroad – I went to Madrid

[A girl is standing near the windows at Palacio de Cristal in Madrid] Via Unsplash
[A girl is standing near the windows at Palacio de Cristal in Madrid] Via Unsplash

I’ve always been a little hesitant and unsure of myself. When I started telling people that I planned on studying abroad for the Fall 2019 semester in Madrid, I could tell that they were worried. I mean, how was I going to survive alone? I wasn’t fluent in Spanish, I didn’t know anyone else that was in my program, and I don’t exactly have a plethora of common sense – I’m more book-smart. I think that part of it was that they didn’t want me to get my hopes up. Studying abroad could be a really great experience or a really terrible one, and there wasn’t room for anything in between. 

But, I was determined to prove them wrong. I always have been. Ever since I was little I’ve always felt that people saw my capabilities as one-sided. I could do this but never that. To me, it seemed like an expectation thing. No one expected me to be so independent and sturdy, especially when I appeared in front of them as fragile or sensitive.

The truth is that I had never been given the chance to prove myself in this capacity. The second that I took too long or wasn’t doing something precisely the way that someone else would, they took over. And, as a result, I became apprehensive, kind of shy, and extremely nervous. 

However, it turns out that I was right. I had been largely independent all along, and studying abroad was a great idea. I slowly realized that I could do anything I set my mind to, even this, all the while holding on tightly to my emotional tendencies. I learned a lot about myself while basking in the Mediterranean sun. 

During my time in Madrid, I met people and made connections in ways that are indescribable. I don’t know if it is because I finally found myself in a situation in which I was free from implicit restraints and boundaries or if I became a product of my surroundings. But, I am sure of at least one thing, that being that I was entering a moment in which I was young enough to still have the ignorant belief that nothing mattered, but also wise enough to know that everything mattered much more than it had ever before. There were so many things, and so many people, clawing at me and insisting for my attention, and I finally let go.

For the first time I acknowledged the positivism of this sweet, even blissful, point in my life—one that I may never get again. So, I gave in to the extremities. In doing so, the whole world opened up. I found security in empathy, I learned about ambition, self-awareness, and I felt genuine longing for the first time. I spent days dancing in streets that were once touched by Goya, Ernest Hemingway, and Velasquez. I read poems by Pablo Neruda on the metro and I ate TONS of churros con chocolate.

What I found to be the most pivotal about my experience in Madrid, though, would be living in a home-stay. This is where I spent the most time, had the most laughs, and learned the most about myself. The day after landing in Madrid I met my host family and moved into their home. While they didn’t speak any English at all, and whatever Spanish I did know I forgot the second I opened my mouth, we managed to work through it. 

I knew I wanted to build a relationship with them, but before I could do that, I had to conquer my own confidence battle. I had to remind myself that yes, they were strangers with whom I would be living with for months, but I was also a stranger to them. Frankly, we were all in the same boat. Eventually, I got used to their habits, learned their family traditions, and studied their culture until I felt like I belonged there. They made me feel like I was as much a Madrileño as they are.

At dinner, my host parents would always ask about my day, my classes, and if I was up to anything fun. On the weekends, they would recommend countless restaurants or art museums to my friends and I, and then ask me if I liked it the next day. They even comforted me when I felt overwhelmed or insecure. What I appreciated the most, however, is that they actually listened to my stories, which I am sure that I told in broken Spanish, and always seemed interested.

We really grew to love and care for one another. In those four short months I am sure that they watched me grow exponentially. I truly became myself and started to feel comfortable in my own skin. Plus, I came out being able to speak and communicate in Spanish light-years beyond my ability from when I first arrived in Madrid. 

My memories from this time in my life are whole, and they always will be whole. I’m finally able to show off my independence and I’m never turning back. This just goes to show that a little bit of introspection and determination could go a long way. Of course, I was scared to be alone and so far away but I knew that it was what I needed.  Once I convinced myself to just rip off the band-aid my possibilities for personal growth became endless.

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