In spite of the adulation big boobs hold in today’s society and throughout history – think glamorous old Hollywood actresses, Playboy, Victoria’s Secret – the reality is that possessing big breasts is not at all rosy as it seems. As a large-breasted woman myself (I’m keeping my bra size close to my chest – pun intended), I’ve experienced many annoyances caused by the size of my boobs.
Don’t get me wrong, having big boobs is not all bad, but I’m pretty sure fellow big-breasted women can identify with these problems:
1. Finding bras that fit
Why is it that decently priced and beautifully designed bras only go up to size D? And when you finally do find bras that are in your size, they’re ill-fitting and they only offer black, white, and beige colors at a far higher price point.
On my bra journey, I’ve come across Bravissimo that has saved me from stuffing my mammary glands into itchy, uncomfortable bras. Their colors and designs are gorgeous – it’s taken me a while to find bras that fit, but I finally got there.
2. Bra straps digging into your shoulders
I now have indentations on my shoulders from wearing bras that have done their level best to support my boobs since my teenage growth spurt. The joys of being a woman.
3. Can’t wear cute dresses and tops
Whether it’s thin straps, strapless, sleeveless, or backless clothes, they provide no purpose for women with big boobs who can’t wear these cute clothes. It’s either tight or it holds no support – it’s not fair at all!
4. Strapless bras are laughable
I tried a strapless bra once and it would gradually pull down throughout the day. I then have to do the awkward yanking and pulling movement to shift my bra up whenever I was dangerously close to exposing myself.
5. T-shirts are not best friends with big boobs
T-shirts that fit perfectly around the waist just end up tight around the boobs. What’s more, you struggle to breathe. Baggy t-shirt it is then…
6. Button-down shirts are a joke
The bloody annoying gap in between buttons has had me fuming many times. It doesn’t matter how many safety pins you use, there’ll always be one annoying gap you’ve missed. I mean do clothing empires think that all women have small boobs?!
7. The thought of having to wear bras ALL DAY once lockdown is lifted
Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait for the lockdown to lift, but I’m not looking forward to having my boobs strapped all day.
8. Big boobs hamper running or cardio efforts
Does it count as extra resistance in your workout if you have big boobs? Please say yes, I could do with a win on this.
9. Putting on and taking off a sports bra
I have been known to give up on my planned workout after putting all of my energy into clasping on my sports bra. My Fitbit told me I burned 15 calories in the process, so I called it a day.
10. Boob sweat
It’s gross but unavoidable, especially in the summer. I’ve found that deodorant can hold another purpose for me – I’ve sprayed it under my boobs when the temperature rises.
11. Back pain
My back has never forgiven me for having big boobs. I now have a back massager to help relieve the muscle pain across my back and shoulders.
12. Food falling into your boobs
You only find out once you’ve taken your bra off and you see crumbs, a cookie, chips…basically a decent meal can land in your boobs.
13. Constantly knocking things over
I can’t count the number of times I’ve knocked over drinks with my boobs. I’d like to consider this a personal skill.
14. Wearing tank tops to sleep
There’ll always be a boob hanging out to greet you when you wake up.
15. Can’t sleep on your front
I don’t think I can even recall sleeping on my front. I can only imagine what that’s like. I envy my husband who can fall asleep on his front – how dare he?!
16. Eyes are up here
Do people think we don’t notice when you’re staring at our tits? I can assure you, we even notice when you do the quick darting glance. We know your tricks and they’re not hard to figure out.
17. Babies think you’re their next meal
I get quite apprehensive when I hold babies. They pucker their mouths in the hope you’re holding a lot of milk for them to consume.
Ultimately, boobs are great whatever size.
We can always channel our Kat Dennings to make us feel good about ourselves.
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