Tag: arts

Categories
Book Reviews Pop Culture

“The Nightingale” shows us that war heroes aren’t always men

The cover of the book "The Nightingale" on the left, and an up-close image of the author - a white, blonde woman - on the right.
[Image description: The cover of the book "The Nightingale" on the left, and an up-close image of the author - a white, blonde woman - on the right.] Via NDMU

Kristin Hannah’s book The Nightingale is impactful, important, and not something that fades from memory easily. I read it quite some time ago but the story still weighs inside me.

It’s about women. It’s about struggle. It’s about love. It’s about war.

The Nightingale is the story of two French sisters, Vianne Mauriac and Isabelle Rosginol, as they resist Nazi forces when World War II engulfs France.

Despite being sisters, Vianne and Isabelle are as different as two people can be. Vianne, the older sister, believes in following rules and peacefully surviving through the time of war. Isabelle, on the other hand, is more rebellious, fearless, defiant, and wants to fight in the war. As the war wages on, the differences between them become more pronounced.

“You are stronger than you think you are, V,” Antoine said afterward.

“I’m not,” Vianne whispered too quietly for him to hear.

Vianne’s husband, Antoine, is sent away to fight as a soldier. After he’s gone, Vianne is left alone with her daughter, Sophie. She continues teaching at a school along with her friend and neighbor, Rachel.

Throughout this time, she faces many challenges – Nazi officers billet with her, her body is violated, and her Jewish neighbors are arrested. Later, she begins rescuing Jewish children and hiding them at the local Catholic orphanage when their parents are taken away. She’s afraid, but she has suffered enough and wants to make a difference.

Isabelle, in the meantime, becomes a part of the French resistance movement, and hatches a plan to assist allied airmen out of France after their planes are shot down. She becomes known as the Nightingale for her work. Isabelle is dangerously vulnerable at this time as she faces a threat of being caught by the Nazi forces.

Later, Isabelle is captured by the Nazis and interrogated. Doubt shadows them – they don’t believe the Nightingale to be a woman. Isabelle’s estranged father saves her then, by claiming to be the Nightingale. He’s executed in her place.

“How can I start at the beginning, when all I can think about is the end?” – Isabelle Rosignol

I live in a country, Pakistan, that has been pushed to brink of war several times. And each time that happens, the role of women in war, and their sacrifice, is often ignored. Women bear the brutalization of war – many are raped and sexually violated – but even then, no one talks about them. Misogyny cages women, even when there’s a war impending.

This book presents a hidden perspective. It shows that women too are war heroes, in their own right.

Vianne and Isabelle are powerful characters. They represent all women who bravely take part in war and fight for their countries – those who survive, those who lose their lives in the middle of it all, and those whose struggles stay with till the end of time.

Vianne is abused at the hands of a Nazi officer and is left impregnated with a child who’ll always be a painful reminder of the past, of war, of the enemy. Vianne’s story resonates with many women who are violated during war.

Isabelle walks into the unknown and puts her life in danger. She leaves behind her name, her story, her life. She makes a mark in the world. She fights. And she wins. She speaks her mind, defies the Germans, makes this war her own. Her story resonates with women who refuse to back down. 

Vianne and Isabelle are real women. They aren’t merely characters of Hannah’s imagination. They’re true people, they’re stories that we often forget.

Get The Nightingale here for $12.23.

Want more book recommendations? Check out our first ever global Reading Challenge!

Categories
Health Care Health News The World

Why the world needs to embrace health care tourism

[Image Description: A woman is dressed in medical scrubs and a blue face mask in the forefront analysing medical samples and a man in medical scrubs sits behind her assessing medical equipment] via Walter Otto, Unsplash
[Image Description: A woman is dressed in medical scrubs and a blue face mask in the forefront analysing medical samples and a man in medical scrubs sits behind her assessing medical equipment] via Walter Otto, Unsplash

Here in the UK, we pride ourselves on our universal health care service, the National Health Service (NHS). Regardless of employment status, age, gender, or where you live in the country, the premise of the NHS is that everybody has a right to free, high-quality health and social care services. 

It didn’t take long for the NHS to become politically weaponized. In the 2016 Brexit vote, now-Prime Minister Boris Johnson claimed that we sent the European Union £350 million every week, and plastered that message on a bus that toured the country, calling for a redirection of those funds to bolster a struggling NHS. Although the claim then proved to be fraudulent, many people latched on to migrants from the EU and beyond as a cause for the struggling NHS, regurgitating the classic narrative of people ‘taking services that they had not paid in to’.  

The concept of ‘medical tourism’ then started to become commonplace in the UK. It came attached to the narrative that immigrant communities were coming to the UK purely to seek free medical treatment at the cost of the British taxpayer.

Medical and health care tourism could not be further away from that insinuation. Yes, affordability is one of the main reasons that people travel to access health care services, but those who travel are largely from economically-developed countries or well-off backgrounds. 

Therefore, we need to reframe what medical tourism actually is; the first step is to depoliticize and decolonize it. 

The top ten destinations for medical tourism are all developing nations: India, Turkey, Brazil, and Mexico are all on the list. Singapore is perhaps the only country that stands out as being further along the development scale. In some of these countries, procedures can be 90% cheaper than in nations such as the U.S. 

It is no wonder, then, that those living in countries where health care costs are a burden are looking for alternatives. Alongside surgical or medical procedures, there are growing markets for wellness and alternative medicine tourism and cosmetic tourism.

A growing number of diasporic communities are also returning ‘back home’ to undergo medical treatment. As well as affordability, this could be because of the increasing numbers of reports of discrimination against people of color in the healthcare systems of developed nations. My own father went back to India to fast-track diabetic treatment, and a member of my extended family also went back to India for fertility treatment, which has been discontinued on the NHS.  

Health care tourism is often painted as risky, mostly for the same reasons that developed nations believe that immigrants are leeching on their healthcare systems: racism. 

It is not wrong for doctors to advise that people conduct thorough checks of those who are going to be operating on them, as well as knowing about pre-op and after-care arrangements in advance. Especially in a time when medical procedures are being packaged alongside holidays, it would be foolish not to be informed. 

But to call into question another medical professional’s standards, purely because of where they are from, is essentially racist. My father’s medical scans from India were not accepted by doctors in the UK due to perceived issues with quality. Yet India is currently one of the largest markets for health care tourism, praised for its accessibility, affordability and service quality. 

Trying to curb health care tourism is only going to backfire. In a globalized, data-driven world, health care already should be accessible to everybody, anytime and anywhere. Eighteen British hospitals were responsible for £42 million of revenue from overseas patients, not to mention the further £219 million that these patients then spent on accommodation, food, and transport in the UK. But no one talks about the positive aspects of medical tourism from migrants.

The UK and such countries who claim to be afraid of the ‘strain’ that medical tourism places on their services should learn from places like Egypt, Jordan, and the UAE, where medical tourism is actively marketed and embraced; they have colonized a market niche. The quality of service, combined with the multitude of languages spoken throughout the region, makes it an attractive option for medical travelers from all over the world. 

It shocks me to my core that health care is still not a universal human right globally, and that it is used and abused to relay political, discriminatory, elitist messages. Healthcare tourism is not only good for the economy, but also for global public health, societal integration, and sharing of knowledge.

Closing off healthcare in line with national boundaries is going to be akin to shooting ourselves in the foot.

Categories
How To Use The Internet Love + Sex Love Life Stories

Confessions of a former catfish

[Image description: Woman looks through the splattering of lights, her reflection shining back to her.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: Woman looks through the splattering of lights, her reflection shining back to her.] Via Unsplash

I have a confession to make: I’m not a good person.

It’s probably why I’m writing this anonymously because if you knew who it was that was confessing this, you’d probably reconsider every perception you have of me.

You see, I’ve done a pretty good job of coming off straightlaced, religious and ethical to the real world. Hell, I might have a filthy mouth and curse too often, but I keep it clean when it comes to being around my family.

I’m fiercely loyal to my friends and family, but deep down I’m terrified of losing everyone and have a recurring dream of being forgotten and alone by everyone who once knew me.

Hell, I might have a filthy mouth and curse too often, but I keep it clean when it comes to being around my family.

My mom worries that I’m too soft when it comes to dealing with work and friends, and I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I’m socially awkward.

So, of course, it wouldn’t really make much sense when I tell you that when I was fourteen years old, I ended up catfishing a boy on the internet.

And that, in the process of catfishing him, I decided to kill myself off.

I used to have a deep addiction to the internet.

Deep, twisted, and dark – I found myself wandering into realms of the world wide web that should probably never have been possible for someone as young as myself. I discovered my first x-rated AOL chat room when I was nine years old and would troll it, not really understanding what A/S/L meant but quickly catching on to the other language that was being flung about in the chat room.

My parents kept the internet strictly monitored and on very short time limits, so I got very good at making legitimate excuses at having to use the computer and hiding my online life from my real one.

Amidst everything, I still found myself struggling with a deep moral compass, justifying my morally reprehensive activities with the fact that I was just like one of those undercover cops online, finding sexual predators by trolling chat rooms. That made it marginally better, as my morally disgusted psyche struggled with my more reprehensible Id.

Here was my chance to fit in somewhere, where it wasn’t strange to be pretending to be someone else.

I discovered Neopets a few years later, back when it was at its peak of activity, and the company hadn’t yet sold out with the stupid merchandising deals. I quickly tired of the games and the cheat codes, and one day found the RPG forums that were populated by hundreds of other bored Neopet gamers.

RPG, I quickly learned, meant role-playing games.

The threads about actual historical or video game events were boring to me – what really mattered was the stupidly fantastic, quickly-moving romantic movie-based (or general scenario-based) threads.

My parents thought I learned to type as lightning fast as I do as a result of writing papers. If I told them it was to keep up with the role-playing threads on Neopets, they’d probably have a fit.

See, the threads were linear in the way they started.

Someone posted a scenario and available roles. You quickly called dibs for the most interesting parts, and the games started. Stories unfolded quickly, and most people opted for crappy but satisfying storylines that included hookups and online kissing.

I was everything that I wasn’t in real life.

Weird, I know. But I grew addicted, and badly so. Here was my chance to fit in somewhere, where it wasn’t strange to be pretending to be someone else. I played everything I could get a hand on – women, men, once in a while, an animal. That wasn’t too interesting to me.

I soon learned that users would take their chats “off the thread” which just meant a chance for an online hookup, where you would literally sext before sexting even happened.

Six hours would pass in a blink of an eye, and I’d be churning out stories, connections, and hookups before I even realized what I was doing. It was a feeding ground of egos, ageless in a world where you were really only supposed to be taking care of a discolored, imaginary pet.

I was lonely. I had low self-esteem and body issues – but in this online world, where you could be anything, I was everything that I wasn’t in real life.

It was there that I met Josh. I’m calling him that because, honestly, I’ve forgotten his name.

I was Misty on Neopets, and that’s what he knew me as. I had a soft spot for him, the ruthless fourteen-year-old girl that I was, and we struck up a friendship over email that quickly turned romantic.

He sent me lyrics from a song he and his friends had written for their garage band, a song that he had dedicated to me.

I forgot to email him back. I forgot for weeks until I finally checked.

I told him things about a life that was fabricated for him, an imaginary life where I was an early high school student, pretty but bullied by the other students. I crafted a life that he fit perfectly into as my savior, and he fell right into it. He sent me his photo, and I sent him a photo of a pretty brunette girl I found online. He was in awe over how he could possibly deserve someone as pretty as me.

I felt guilty and ugly.

It was, in its ultimatum, my perfect story. But then again, who’s happy with perfect stories?

The downfall is so much more interesting.

So I grew bored with Josh. He was too kind, too good, and too needy. He needed my validation on his looks, his life, and his decisions. I had already gone through another dozen flings on Neopets. My life at home was a complete 180 from what he believed mine to be online.

That’s what made me decide to kill myself off. It’s as bad as you think.

I stopped responding to his emails after I told him that the bullying at my school had intensified. Having built a reality in which one girl at my school was getting more physically violent towards me, I forgot to email him back. I forgot for weeks until I finally checked.

There were twenty emails from him, all freaked out, each more frantic than the last. I read through them all, my heart sinking more with each one. Misty!, he typed in one, R U okay???! I haven’t heard from u in forever!

What was I supposed to do? I could confess and say who I really was, but that was too much of a headache. I was trying to cut my addiction to Neopets, and with that, came my need to cut my addiction to Josh.

So I slowly typed out an email, one that took me longer than any other email that I had probably written until then.

I hated saying goodbye, so instead, I had someone else say goodbye for me: Misty’s father.

I don’t remember the details exactly of how I killed myself off. It was a solemn email, one that spoke fondly to Josh about Misty’s goodbye note to him, and how the bullies got to her, in the end. It was all the bullies’ fault. I signed it with a sigh, knowing just how despicable I was for doing it – but sending it anyways.

I didn’t log into that email again after that. I didn’t want to face reality.

After all, it was the internet.

Categories
Editor's Picks Movie Reviews Bollywood Movies Pop Culture

13 of the most iconic female characters in Indian movies

[Image description: four screenshots of powerful women in Bollywood movies.] via Wikimedia
[Image description: four screenshots of powerful women in Bollywood movies.] via Wikimedia

Bollywood movies are not the prime example of an industry known for its strong female characters. In fact, they are often criticized – especially South Indian movies – for the lack of female characters with substance.

While one has to agree that Bollywood movies need to do a lot more on this front, we can’t forget the amazing characters we have seen from these movies so far.

 

1. Aruvi from Aruvi (Stream)

A brown woman with straight black hair is laughing as she plays in a stream of water. She's dressed in black top.
[Image description: A brown woman with straight black hair is laughing as she plays in a stream of water. She’s dressed in a black top.] Via Deccan Chronicle
Aruvi is the personification of female rage, a character that symbolizes how a woman could be as gentle as a stream, but could easily turn into a destructive force of nature too. She is an everyday woman whose life is changed when she is diagnosed with AIDS. Her story sheds light on the hypocrisy of the patriarchy, the ignorance and lack of humanity in the conservative South Asian society, and the power of women.

 

2. Tara from Oh Kadhal Kanmani (Oh love, apple of my eye)

A woman stands in the rain with an umbrella over her head. Her expression is solemn, her black hair pulled back in a bun, and she's dressed in a pink-gray ensemble.
[Image description: A woman stands in the rain with an umbrella over her head. Her expression is solemn, her black hair pulled back in a bun, and she’s dressed in a pink-gray ensemble.] Via Urban Asian
The character of Tara steals the show in this beautifully-modern, realistic, classy and cute love story between two ambitious individuals who won’t put their career on stake for a relationship.

Tara is uncompromising, confident, bold and someone you’ll easily fall in love with. The best part is that she could easily be the girl who lives next door, and there’s a beautiful realism about her that makes her story so meaningful and close to your heart.

 

3. Nirupama from How Old Are You?

A woman in a pink-teal sari has a large paper unfolded in her hands. She looks ahead as she navigates through a crowd.
[Image description: A woman in a pink-teal sari has a large paper unfolded in her hands. She looks ahead as she navigates through a crowd.] Via Global Film Studies
Nirupama is an ordinary woman – a wife and mother with a routine and unexciting life. Her story is a reflection of the average life of middle-aged women in India.

At 36 years old, she wonders whether she has passed her prime, the age where she can do something new, follow her dreams, and become someone special. As she finds the answer to the question, that it’s never late for a woman to follow her dreams, she inspires all of us with her uplifting story.

 

4. Ponni from Iraivi (Goddess)

A brown woman in a yellow sari has her eyes closed as she rests her head atop that of a young, brown girl.
[Image description: A brown woman in a yellow sari has her eyes closed as she rests her head atop that of a young, brown girl.] Via IMDB
Iraivi is a movie full of brilliant female characters, each portraying women who exist in a man’s world. Ponni’s story is undoubtedly the most beautiful – the moving tale of a young bride whose illusions of marriage shatters gradually.

However, Ponni doesn’t mope or let her husband walk all over her, transforming into a woman of quiet strength and resolve, and we know for sure that she will bring up her daughter as another strong female.

 

5. Laila from Margarita with a Straw

A young woman with wavy black hair is laughing as lowers her head toward a teal straw placed in a yellow glass.
[Image description: A young woman with wavy black hair is laughing as lowers her head toward a teal straw placed in a yellow glass.] Via Huffingtonpost
Laila’s story will make you laugh, cry, feel, and break your heart. It’s the story of a girl with cerebral palsy, who doesn’t let her disability define her.

We follow Laila as she travels from India to New York, experiences a whole new side of life, finds love, explores her sexuality, deals with heartbreak and struggles to break the news of her bisexuality to her mother. There are times you’ll even dislike Laila, but that’s what makes her character so human and real.

 

6. Tessa from 22 Female Kottayam

A black-haired woman in glasses is staring out the window, her hands pressed against each other under her chin. She's in a gray ensemble.
[Image description: A black-haired woman in glasses is staring out the window, her hands pressed against each other under her chin. She’s in a gray ensemble.] Via The Hindu
Life seems great for Tessa as her career is off to the right start, and her love life is wonderful. But it all comes crashing down when Tessa is raped, framed and betrayed by the very man she loved and trusted.

22 Female Kottayam is all about an angry female and the lengths she goes for her revenge. Tessa becomes the embodiment of femme fatale, and she’s ruthless in her journey for justice, keeping you rooting for her and her cause.

 

7. Subbu from Aaranya Kaandam (Anima and Persona)

A brown-haired brown woman in a brown-black sari is walking through the alley of an old neighborhood.
[Image description: A brown-haired brown woman in a brown-black sari is walking through the alley of an old neighborhood.] Via Constant Scribbles
Never underestimate a woman – this should be the moral of this movie. In a gangster flick full of violence and tense moments, a character like Subbu – the innocent mistress of an aged gangster – could’ve been completely overlooked but the seemingly hapless female ultimately becomes the game-changer.

A character who at first induces pity for her situation, then affection towards her innocence, will leave you stunned at the end.

 

8. Geet from Jab We Met (When We Met)

A brown-haired woman in a white top is smiling widely as she speaks animatedly.
[Image description: A brown-haired woman in a white top is smiling widely as she speaks animatedly.] Via Filtercopy
Geet’s iconic dialogue, “Mein apni favorite hoon” (I am my favorite person), defines her as a character. She is talkative, happy, optimistic, unapologetic, adventurous and so full of life.

And even after 12 years, she’s still one of the favorites of Bollywood rom-com heroines. She teaches us that it’s okay to be self-obsessed, urges us to take risks, encourages us to talk our hearts out and inspires us to always do things that will make us – not the world – happy.

 

9. Sivagami from Bahubali (One with strong arms)

A brown woman with heavy eye makeup stares challengingly ahead. She wears a red sari and heavy gold jewelry.
[Image description: A brown woman with heavy eye makeup stares challengingly ahead. She wears a red sari and heavy gold jewelry.] Via India TV
The foster mother of the titular character, Sivagami is a fearless, brave yet vulnerable woman of gray shades. She rules a vast kingdom with ease despite being surrounded by deceit and evil.

The scene where she sits on the throne with so much arrogance, just after killing a traitor – with his blood still splattered on her face – while breastfeeding both her kids, her eyes daring anyone to cross her, gives me goosebumps every time.

 

10. Roja from Roja (Rose)

A brown-haired woman is staring up in curiosity at something.
[Image description: A brown-haired woman is staring up in curiosity at something.] Via Hindustan Times
Roja is a simple village girl who is married off to a man – an absolute stranger – in the city. Everything about her married life is a revelation, and just as she slowly falls for her husband, he is kidnapped and she is stranded in an unknown city.

The way she struggles to get her husband back, in an alien location, negotiating in a language she doesn’t speak with no resources whatsoever, only backed by determination is simply inspiring to watch.

 

11. Sandhya from Dum Laga Ke Haisha (Give in All Your Energy)

A black-haired woman in a white-red sari looks coyly to the side.
[Image description: A black-haired woman in a white-red sari looks coyly to the side.] Via India Today
This underrated love story is full of heart, and Sandhya is a character with so much strength and optimism. Plus-sized and comfortable with it, she tries to live with a mistreating husband who doesn’t believe he’s attracted to her.

Then she leaves him, not tolerating his nonsense. And even as she gives him a second chance, she makes sure it’s on her own terms, and the best part is that she doesn’t try to become someone else to get love.

 

12. Devi from Masaan (Crematorium)

A brown, brown-haired woman in a brown top looks sideways with a hard glare.
[Image description: A brown, brown-haired woman in a brown top looks sideways with a hard glare.] Via Bollywood Life
Blackmailed by a police officer when she’s caught having sex with her boyfriend, Devi doesn’t crumble under the pressure, rather remains firm on the fact that there’s no shame in her actions.

She is a woman of steel, and throughout the movie, her stiff spine and unapologetic gaze serve as a slap in the face to the patriarchy that tries to victimize her.

 

13. Shilpa from Super Deluxe

A black-haired trans woman in a blue saree sits and gazes out into the distance.
[Image description: A black-haired trans woman in a blue sari sits and gazes out into the distance.] Via The News Minute
This is a controversial pick as Shilpa is a trans woman played by a male actor. However, she is also probably the first trans-leading character in a mainstream Tamil movie.

Shilpa is flawed and selfish, but she rises through all the insults, humiliation and prejudice she faces through the immense love she has for her son, and it is truly inspiring. Super Deluxe also features three more unconventional and strong female characters who all deserve a nod too.

These characters all have different stories, with totally different lives, yet all of them stand out because of the way they look at life, and the impact they leave on an audience. As we celebrate these characters, it’s important to remember that we still have a long way to go, especially in terms of intersectional female characters who belong to different minorities, as well as the casting of the right actors to bring in more authenticity to their portrayals.

Categories
TV Shows BRB Gone Viral Pop Culture

What “How I Met Your Mother” taught me about the one

A still image of How I Met Your Mother's Ted and Robin - both white and dark-haired - sitting on the beach looking out to the sea.
[Image description: A still image of How I Met Your Mother's Ted and Robin - both white and dark-haired - sitting on the beach looking out to the sea.] Via Syfy Wire

I never really delved into romance as a genre when I was younger.

I mean, it was not a clear-cut no to affairs of the heart. I didn’t mind a love story as a subplot but I could not get my head around why people would read a whole novel or watch a whole show dedicated to love and relationships.

It took me until my late teenage years to move towards romance fiction. Over time, I uncovered the expectations, the trials and the tribulations of such relationships. Unknowingly, living vicariously through popular culture has prepared me for the future.

Situational comedies, for me at least, function as a form of escapism. More often than not, they’re based in New York City, the archetypal place to find yourself in your twenties. Being a Londoner myself, I covet the image of a group of six friends, hanging out in a city that never sleeps. Alongside the appeal of a close-knit group is the hope of meeting ‘the one.’ Indeed, the elusive ‘one’.

Growing up, I always found the portrayal of love in romantic comedies inferior to that of sitcoms. Partly because of the formulaic sequence of romcoms ignored character development. If there’s no depth to the protagonist, I struggle to empathize. And, ultimately, wince at the inevitable sappy happy ending.

Sitcoms, on the other hand, are so much more than comedic misunderstandings and double entendres. The serious moments intertwined with light-hearted comedy give a whole new depth to the romance.

One show that never fails to teach me a lesson about love is How I Met Your Mother.

To some, Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) is a schmaltzy hopeless romantic. But to me, he is the guy who instills faith in love for those of us who are believing less and less every day. Much like me, he tends to overthink and look for signs from the universe to make a decision.

Pondering over what could’ve been has become a recurring theme in my life. I mean, I get so caught up in overanalyzing and attempting to make the right decision, I miss out on the opportunity to make the actual call.

Overthinking whether I should say hello or analyzing what a certain facial expression meant does more harm than good. Truly, giving every little thing a meaning is as indicative of the sign itself.

That being said, Ted’s encounter with ‘The One’ was not completely the result of his own actions. The famous yellow umbrella belonging to Tracy (Cristin Milioti) which made its way into Ted’s life demonstrates that fate has a way of working itself out. The universe has a plan and that plan is always in motion.

I understand that concept.

Like Ted, I also wonder about the little parts in the machine that are making sure I end up at the right place at the right time. I think, if I’m being honest with myself, I rely too much on these parts and neglect taking action myself. Second-guessing and preventing myself from taking risks have only ever resulted in what-ifs.

Of course, being nervous about taking a step lets you know that you’re onto something important.

Even if the call I make doesn’t pan out the way I want it to; I just hope that I have at least half the emotional endurance that Ted has.

That’s why to me, How I Met Your Mother is much more than your average sitcom.

Future Ted’s narration is an excellent example of reflection, though sometimes biased. How I Met Your Mother tells a great tale demonstrating how your present actions can have an impact on the future. Indeed, the telling of a love story in reverse order is further validation that everything will turn out fine.

The show has left a lasting impact, so whenever I’m stuck in a rut, I can switch it on and turn to Ted’s wisdom.

Categories
Shopping Nails Gift Guides Beauty Lookbook

25 gorgeous halal nail polishes people actually swear by

[Image description: Hands with painted nails, holding nail polish bottles] Via 786 Cosmetics, Vivre Cosmetics
[Image description: Hands with painted nails, holding nail polish bottles] Via 786 Cosmetics, Vivre Cosmetics

We’re so excited that halal nail polishes have finally hit the market.

These polishes also offer the chance for your nails to rest. They help restore growth and strength back to your nails, and many come enhanced with vitamin B5, vitamin C, and argan oil. Some polishes are not tested on animals and are even vegan-friendly.

Breathable nail polish is a must-have item for Muslims wanting to rock a slaying mani while performing wudu. There has been wide debate as to whether or not the breathable polishes are truly halal, but it has been noted by a few users that after some testing the formula appears water-permeable. Whether you believe it or not, it’s significant that brands are making an effort to accommodate people’s different religious beliefs with their products.

“If something is blocking [your nails], that is not acceptable,” says Habib Ghanim, director of ISWA Halal Certification Department and president of USA Halal Chamber of Commerce. “When wudu is performed, water has to touch every part of your body. If you have nail polish on that is non-porous, that is not considered halal.”

Although many brands are popping up offering halal cosmetics, the products are still relatively new and it can, therefore, be difficult to suss out all options on offer. This list showcases some glorious alternatives to your typical nail polishes, leaving your fingertips free for any and every color you could possibly imagine.

 

1. This glimmering gold nail polish perfect for the red carpet. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786cosmetics.com
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786cosmetics.com
What people are saying: “I transitioned to non-toxic nail polish recently and noticed a huge difference in the health of my nails (and allergies). Really cool. I used the polish for my french manicure tips and it works perfectly. No smell, dried fast, no streaking, consistent texture, and color. I would get again.”—T

Get it from Amazon for $12.95.

 

2. A pearly pink polish that’s a stimulating burst of color for your nails.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Inglot nail polish.] via Amazon
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Inglot nail polish.] via Amazon
What people are saying: “I’ve used it now for several weeks and my previously split and cracked nails are stronger than when I used regular nail polish. I’ll purchase more!” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $19.99.

 


3. Summer’s never over when this bright pink polish is on your nails. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Tuesday in Love nail polish.] via Tuesday in Love
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Tuesday in Love nail polish.] via Tuesday in Love
What people are saying: “I am so happy with this polish. I’ve been waiting to replace all my old polish with a great chemical-free, or ‘cleaner’ polish and here it is! The coverage is great, dries quickly, and has great durability.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $15.98.

 

4. Keep your nails refreshed with some tangerine tones.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of MAYA nail polish.] via MAYA
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of MAYA nail polish.] via MAYA
What people are saying: “I stopped wearing nail polish because my nails had become so damaged, but I missed my pretty manicures. I tried a few “healthier” nail polishes but was so disappointed with the results that I almost gave up. SO glad I didn’t. This nail polish goes on so creamy and dries to a super hard finish that’s lasted for days! Plus, my nails are doing just fine. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that oxygen gets through. Whatever it is, love the results!!!” —Fran

Get it from Amazon for $13.99.

 

Plus Size Clothing

5. Live it up a little with a pop of pale mauve polish.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
What people are saying: “Mashallah, the color is simply beautiful; and what makes it more unique is the ability for me to feel beautiful without compromising my faith. Furthermore, the seller gave me an extra polish (top coat) with my purchase.” —Isatta Feika

Get it from Etsy for $11.99.

 

6. Don’t wait for spring to be able to rock the season on your nails. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of VIVRE Cosmetics nail polish.] via VIVRE Cosmetics
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of VIVRE Cosmetics nail polish.] via VIVRE Cosmetics
What people are saying: “Really good nail polish! It feels nice and isn’t goopy, clumpy or stringy or anything like that. It feels light and healthy and at the same time true to color. I’m very happy with the results! ? it also dries pretty fast.” —Lizzy

Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

 


7. The perfect shade to pair with gold accessories, no matter what you’re up to.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786cosmetics.com
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786cosmetics.com
What people are saying: “The formula is smooth and goes on very easily. It dries quickly. It’s remained intact through a shower, multiple handwashings, and giving a toddler a bath. I absolutely love it!” —Ashley M. James

Get it from Amazon for $13.95.

 

8. Play up your evening out with this royal purple. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Etsy
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Etsy
What people are saying: “Love this nail polish. There are so many great colors to choose from and the ingredients are better than a lot of other nail polishes. It’s easy to apply and it’s long lasting. Thank you!” —Karen

Get it from Etsy for $9.99.

 


9. Channel some mermaid vibes with this shimmery aqua shade.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
What people are saying: “Loved the color and the polish stayed on for at least 5 days and then it only chipped slightly. I had heard some of Orly’s nail colors don’t even dry fully so I was skeptical about this but my experience was a positive one!!” — Edie Superstar

Get it from Amazon for $9.99.

 

10. Feeling like showing love for fall? This nail polish will help you out.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of ZOYA nail polish.] via ZOYA
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of ZOYA nail polish.] via ZOYA
What people are saying: “Tried it and it applies nicely, looks streaky at first but after a few seconds smooths out. Only needed to apply two coats and didn’t use a base or topcoat at all. I can be rough with nails as a nurse and cleaning at home. I definitely recommend, and can’t wait to paint my little girl’s nails too.” —Vanessa M

Get it from Amazon for $10.00.

 


11. A muted classic polish you can wear any day of the week.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Karma
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Karma
What people are saying: “Just received this little gem today and although I went for the other color first I am equally excited to try this beauty out as well! Christmas is coming up annnnd this would make amazing gifts….hint…hint ;)” —Stacy D

Get it from Etsy for $13.99.

 

12. Keep life grounded with a deep brick red nail polish from Orly.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
What people are saying: “Wow! This color is so beautiful. Love this brand and color. I’m a winter girl & this red is fabulous.” — Beauty Professional

Get it from Amazon for $8.95.

 

13. A deep chocolate color to give you dramatic, vamp-like nails that would make Elvira nod her head in approval.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Inglot nail polish.] via Amazon
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Inglot nail polish.] via Amazon
What people are saying: “Wanting a healthier nail polish, I’d heard about Halal polishes and thought I’d give it a try. I’ll never go back to regular polishes! This was nice and my nails were in great shape once I took the polish off.”—1husband2sons

Get it from Amazon for $19.99.

 

14. A black polish that’s as dark as your soul. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
What people are saying: “Fast and excellent service, came beautifully packaged. I am extremely satisfied. You have a permanent customer!!” —Umm Uwais

Get it from Etsy for $11.99.

 

15. A gentle-on-your-nails polish with a gorgeous color to boot. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Tuesday in Love nail polish.] via Tuesday in Love
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Tuesday in Love nail polish.] via Tuesday in Love
What people are saying: “I loved this! It lasted for so long on my toes and hands!”—Rowda

Get it from Amazon for $15.98.

 

16. Rock a softly nude polish for the perfect date night. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786 Cosmetics
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786 Cosmetics
What people are saying: “Love this natural light pink color and notice that water is able to go through enough during wudu.” —Aya B.

Get it from Amazon for $13.95.

 

17. This gorgeous purple polish that Queen Elizabeth would wear because it’s the color of royalty. Get it?

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Karma
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma nail polish.] via Karma
What people are saying: “Fast Shipping (as always) and LOVE this color. Thank you!”—Rumibella

Get it from Etsy for $13.99.

 

18. The perfect holographic aqua polish for you to layer on around the year. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of ZOYA nail polish.] via ZOYA
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of ZOYA nail polish.] via ZOYA
What people are saying: “My new favorite glitter polish! It’s very sheer with one coat but can be built up to opaque. It has a slightly matte finish which I do not like, I need my polishes to have a shiny glass finish. You can achieve the shiny glass finish by applying a topcoat over this polish however due to the texture it eats topcoat right up so you’ll need 2 to even be shiny but still slightly gritty and 3 gets you a shiny glass-like finish which makes the glitters and holo effect stand way out with this polish!”—Kara

Get it from Amazon for $10.00.

 

19. Bring it back to some classic bubblegum pink with this nail polish. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of VIVRE Cosmetics nail polish.] via VIVRE Cosmetics
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of VIVRE Cosmetics nail polish.] via VIVRE Cosmetics
What people are saying: “I love it. Absolutely amazing. It is smooth and dries quite fast. Highly recommend.”—Y C

Get it from Amazon for $13.99.

 

20. Swipe on some deep red nail polish to set off your edgy look. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Amari New York nail polish.] via Amari New York
What people are saying: “Beautiful color, beautiful packaging, and fast delivery! Thank you, Amari!”—Liyali

Get it from Amazon for $11.99.

 

21. A metallic blush shade that’s perfect for any brunch outing.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of MAYA nail polish.] via MAYA
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of MAYA nail polish.] via MAYA
What people are saying: “Surprised by getting it so fast; by one coat covering nicely (although I recommend 2 coats); by how pretty the color (barely there is) and how it’s so similar to regular nail polish. I actually would not know the difference because it’s so smooth. I only gave it a 4 star because even the smell of regular nail polish is the same and it’s a bit pricey. Overall I really like it and hope to get more shades. It’s worth it! Now I can pray with nail polish and not feel guilty.” —Shania

Get it from Amazon for $16.08.

 

22. A simple yet striking maroon polish perfect for the season. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786 Cosmetics
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of 786 Cosmetics nail polish.] via 786 Cosmetics
What people are saying: “I love 786 polish! Wudu-friendly, goes on smooth, dries hard and lasts 10 days on my toes. It also lacks many of those disturbing ingredients used by other companies.” —ModestyMaven

Get it from Amazon for $13.95.

 

23. The lavender we didn’t know we needed. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Vivre nail polish.] via Amazon
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Vivre nail polish.] via Amazon
What people are saying: “It’s subtle but still colorful enough to make a pop. It’s one of those colors that goes well with light and dark clothing and I have gotten so many compliments! I was also worried that being a breathable polish meant that it would be super thin but even just one coat was thick enough to cover everything.” —Amazon Customer

Get it from Amazon for $12.99.

 

24. Glam it up without harming your nails – if that isn’t a win-win, I don’t know what is. 

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Etsy nail polish.] via Etsy
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Karma Hues nail polish.] via Etsy
What people are saying: “Oh! How can I LOVE a fingernail polish color this much??? But I do!!! It is just spot on let me tell you!! Not too dark, not too light, just AMAZING!!! Thank You!!!” —Suzzette McCoy

Get it from Etsy for $9.99.

 

25. A delectable rose shimmer Orly nail polish to make a big statement.

[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
[Image description: Swatch and bottle of Orly nail polish.] via Orly.com
What people are saying: “I love this polish! The color is fabulous and the “breathable” formula is the first nail polish I’ve been able to use for extended periods.” — V.S. Herlocker

Get it from Amazon for $8.90.

Categories
Health Care Love Wellness

5 natural home remedies to try if you’re not feeling too great

[Image Description: Herbs and cup of tea with leaves] via Wikimedia
[Image Description: Herbs and cup of tea with leaves] via Wikimedia

Heads up: These aren’t meant to be medical recommendations, but they’re tactics that have worked for others and might work for you, too. Always check in with your doctor before trying anything new.

 

Seeing “Golden Milk” slowly pop up on cafe menus in hipster areas was a bittersweet moment.

On one hand, I was waiting for the world to realize that the milk and turmeric combination is not so nice on the palate. On the other hand, I was sort of proud that a recipe of my childhood, one that my mother reserved for days when I suffered from a chesty cough, was becoming mainstream. 

Before the development of modern, industrial medicine, communities around the world relied heavily on what they had foraged in natural areas to discover new remedies. Turmeric is one of many herbs, plants, and spices making a comeback as a mainstream form of health and wellness. 

The global herbal health industries are shooting up in financial value for a variety of reasons. Not only is a general awareness of natural remedies increasing, but also, in light of the global shift in attitudes around environmental sustainability, communities are beginning to rethink how they can use plants over synthetically-produced medication.

Herbal healthcare has been praised both for its physical benefits, but also for its positive impact on mental and emotional wellbeing. 

Furthermore, globalization and the spread of cultures are also responsible for the spread of herbal health remedies. Ayurveda, a South-Asian holistic health practice, has now become a global medical market that is predicted to increase by 16 percent each year. The World Health Organization (WHO) has also recognized the value of traditional Chinese medicine, a market that is estimated to reach $50 billion globally.

Specialist herbal tea brand, Pukka Herbs – recently sold to fast-moving-consumer-goods giant Unilever – is a prime example of the revival of herbal health.

‘‘People are waking up to the fact that they can look after their own health,” said founder Sebastian Pole. “Plants have been at the heart of our health forever and herbalism empowers people to look after their bodies throughout their lives rather than just treating the problem at the end.”

1. Try a little CBD oil to help relax you.

A five-leaf green herb lies against a white background next to a small vial of yellow oil.
[Image description: A five-leaf green herb lies against a white background next to a small vial of yellow oil.] Via Healthline
No, this is not the same as weed. Fatty acids in hemp oil have been known to soothe inflammatory skin conditions, and CBD oil is widely used in stress and anxiety relief treatments.  

“Helps calm my anxiety and I’ve been sleeping way better since I started using it!” – April

Get it from Amazon for $14.99.

2. Help your hair grow with some camphor oil.

Dark green herbs sit atop a white, granular substance next to a vial of yellow oil.
[Image description: Dark green herbs sit atop a white, granular substance next to a vial of yellow oil.] Via Organicfacts
The oil extracted from the camphor tree can be used for a variety of ailments, including as a form of pain relief and to calm a congested respiratory system.

“Use this product for hair with a combination of oils to promote hair growth together, excellent.” – Kindle Customer

Get it from Amazon for $9.99.

3. Treat muscle swelling with a cup of rosehip tea.

Two pieces of red fruit hang from a thicket of green leaves.
[Image description: Two pieces of red fruit hang from a thicket of green leaves.] Via Verywellhealth
Usually consumed in the form of tea, rosehip can help prevent joint damage and reduce joint inflammation. It has been successfully tried and tested as a treatment for rheumatoid arthritis. 

“I have been using this product for about a month before reviewing it, and I am pleasantly surprised. I’ve had pesky stretch marks and scars that I’ve tried getting rid of for years, and I noticed how much they had faded just from using this!” – Leah

Get it from Amazon for $12.95.

4. Minimize any nausea with a dose of ginger.

A small bowl of yellowish-brown powder sits next to a pile of knobby roots, ginger.
[Image description: A small bowl of yellowish-brown powder sits next to a pile of knobby roots, ginger.] Via Medical News Today
Perhaps the easiest of the list to find and integrate into meals or wellness regimes, ginger is known to decrease nausea and morning sickness. For those suffering from diabetes, ginger has also been proven to decrease blood sugar levels.

“It is so hard to find the ginger that is not crystallized and encrusted in a layer of sugar. Ginger doesn’t need all that nonsense. This stuff is exactly what I wanted, simply dried ginger.” – J. More

Get it from Amazon for $14.95.

5. Nourish your hair and skin with some moringa.

A spoonful of lime green powder is shown next to a bowl full of it, atop darker green leaves.
[Image description: A spoonful of lime green powder is shown next to a bowl full of it, atop darker green leaves.] Via Chasorganics
A plant that I came across when working in Burkina Faso, moringa has been brought into both edible and cosmetic products. It is known to protect and nourish the skin and hair, both from the inside and from the outside. 

“I started taking this product for milk production and I continued taking it for the benefit that it provided to my hair, nails, and energy. It increased my milk supply and I felt more energetic, although I was sleeping 4 hours per night with an infant. I recommend this to everyone, it’s a great supplement for overall health.” – Oleg Sparky

Get it from Amazon for $15.95.

 

These treatments do, of course, need to form part of a healthy, active and happy lifestyle. Consuming natural remedies alone will do little for you if you are spending the rest of your day in a static position, or eating relatively carelessly. 

Let us know on social media if you have an herbal remedy of your own – we may just feature you in a future Tempest Fam article! I’ll be waiting with my warm cup of raw lemon, honey, pepper, and fenugreek tea, waiting for my insides to be fully revitalized. 

Categories
The Internet Real World Word Music BRB Gone Viral Pop Culture

9 songs from the 2000s that helped us all through the dark times

[Image description: A collage of the nine music artists listed below. They're a mix of men and women.] Via Wikimedia Commons
[Image description: A collage of the nine music artists listed below. They're a mix of men and women.] Via Wikimedia Commons

While I was growing up, there were certain songs that I’d listen to for hours on end. But as time carried on, and there came new music, the songs that I had endlessly listened to faded away to the backs of my playlists, replaced by new favorites.

I was sifting through my collection recently and came across all the songs I once played on a loop. I played a couple of them and felt myself slipping into the past. A wistful longing for the old days and feelings of nostalgia rose to the surface. 

These songs healed me when I was hurt. I sang along with them. I felt them. I lived them. They’re glorious reminders of my past. And, most importantly, it turns out they’ll never be too old for me.

1. “What Hurts the Most” by Rascal Flatts

Best lyric: ♪ “I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out / I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while / Even though going on with you gone still upsets me.” ♪

It’s a beautiful song by Rascal Flatts. It’s about pain. It’s about letting go. It’s about loving someone but not being able to tell them what you feel.

Each time I hear this song, my eyes become watery with tears.

2. “No Boundaries” by Adam Lambert 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nvCwvX57a8

Best lyric: ♪ “I fought to the limit to stand on the edge / What if today is as good it gets?” ♪

Adam Lambert’s voice is so powerful. It makes you feel so many emotions all at once. The words of the song are beautiful on their own but even better in Lambert’s voice. They give you the courage to keep holding on, to never turn back on your dreams, to simply keep moving on in life.

You almost start believing that your dreams aren’t impossible, that there really are no boundaries.

3. “Someone Like You” by Adele

Best lyric: ♪ “Sometimes it lasts in love / But sometimes it hurts instead.” ♪

Their words are painful. They hurt when you hear them. And the fact that Adele has sung them makes them more meaningful.

Letting go of people who are important to you is probably one of the hardest things that you have to do in life. And this cold realization dawns on you when you hear this song.

4. “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

Best lyric: ♪ “Ain’t about how fast I get there / Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side / It’s the climb.” ♪

The Climb by Miley Cyrus is my all-time favorite song. The words of this song easily flow through me. They make me feel as if I can make it through any difficult situation as long as I keep moving, keep climbing. They speak to me. They tell me that what matters is what I learn from my struggles – everything else is meaningless. I need to be stronger than what breaks me.

5. “Need You Now” by Lady Antebellum

Best lyric: ♪ “Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.” ♪

I can’t describe in words what this song means to me. Happy or sad, Need You Now by Lady Antebellum has been my constant companion. With its lyrics whirling in my mind, I feel different things. Sometimes, profound happiness. Sometimes, endless pain. Sometimes, nothing at all.

Its music is calm like the ocean, yet it can brew a storm of feelings inside of you. I’ll never get tired listening to this one song.

6. “Apologize” by Timbaland & OneRepublic

Best lyric: ♪ “They tell me that you mean it / Then you go and cut me down.” ♪

I remember listening to this song over and over again, even before I understood its lyrics and what they meant. I’d lose myself in its composition. There’s something about this song that touches deeply.

When I listen to it, memories from my past stir in my mind. I listened to this song while traveling to faraway places, when I felt alone, and when I was hurting. This song made me feel better each time.

7. “Innocence” by Avril Lavigne

Best lyric: ♪ “Feel calm, I belong I’m so happy here / It’s so strong, and now I let myself be sincere.” ♪

Avril Lavigne’s Innocence reminds me of the years I battled with depression. I used to hear it a lot back then because it made me feel something when I thought I couldn’t ever feel anything again. Being happy felt unreal, but if I did feel happy, I wanted to hold on to the moment, make it last a little longer. Innocence threaded my feelings into words. I could relate to it. I could feel it. Listening to it today makes me feel the same way – it saves me from sinking deeper into depression.

8. “Read All About It” by Emeli Sandé 

Best lyric: ♪ “You’ve spent a lifetime stuck in silence / Afraid you’ll say something wrong / If no one ever hears it how we gonna learn your song?” ♪

This song means different things to different people. For me, it’s about having the courage to openly speak our minds, to fearlessly say what’s in our hearts. It’s about being unafraid. It’s about letting the world know who we are and what we stand for. I return to this song each time I need inspiration.

9. “Teardrops on My Guitar” by Taylor Swift

Best lyric: ♪ “He’s the reason for the teardrops on my guitar / The only one who’s got enough of me to break my heart.” ♪

Taylor Swift was my favorite singer when I was younger, and I knew most of her songs by heart including this one. I’d endlessly listen to this song especially while traveling and sing along with it. And even though it is sad, its music is still very calming.

These songs may have come out years ago but their ability to fill me with emotions is undeniable. Unknowingly, they became a part of me, a part I’ll always hold onto.

Categories
Health Care Home Decor Mind Love Life Stories Wellness

We need to talk about the connection between clutter and anxiety

An image of white woman waking up in a minimal bedroom yawning and stretching her arms.] Taken by @iyumnai via Unsplash
[Image description: An image of white woman waking up in a minimal bedroom yawning and stretching her arms.] Via @iyumnai via Unsplash

At the age of 22, I am still yet to experience the joy and independence that comes with having your own physical space.

As someone with a big family, I grew accustomed to sharing space with others. Whether it’s my wardrobe being in a different room, or my shoes, I’m regularly shifting between places to get what I need.

Just yesterday, I was moving my belongings around, trying to figure out what things are necessary for the current moment in time. I kept the books I needed for the week and organized the makeup and beauty products I’m currently using. I didn’t go full-on KonMari method but did make some progress to feel comfortable in my space.

For me, this is a repetitive cycle. Move things around. Get some semblance of my identity in a shared room. Stuff gets too messy. Set off anxiety. Repeat.

I feel like I’m in a liminal state.

My things are all over the place and so am I.

I’m always in between but I deeply desire to have one whole space that defines my existence.

Not only is it triggering to be surrounded by other’s people’s possessions, but it’s also the extent of the things. Bear in mind, that immigrant families are expert hoarders. That food mixer you’ve used once? It’s tucked away safe for when we eventually use it. (Hint: we don’t.)

I’m not admonishing families for stockpiling things as it comes with the territory of being an immigrant. We have gaajar halwa (a sweet dish made of carrots) stocked in our freezer for unplanned dawats (get-together with a huge feast). And believe me, surprise gatherings are a common occurrence in my house. Just to reiterate, I’m eternally grateful for having such a giving family and spares of everything. It’s a blessing that’s often taken for granted by most of us.

Of course, hospitality is another trait of an immigrant family. Guests are made to feel comfortable in the presence of their hosts. Therefore, it’s commonplace to have things ready for company, even when it is unexpected. Indeed, hoarding stuff is naturally part of being as accommodating as possible.

Living in a cluttered nest is a daily challenge for someone to keep organized, let alone for someone with anxiety.

But there comes the point where things must change for the sake of mental health.

Now that I think about it, my Pinterest ‘Home’ board nearing 2000 pins is a coping method for living vicariously in my place of respite. That Scandi desk with hairpin metal legs and the Vitra Uten Silo storage board is something are recurring home items I wish into existence. I always imagine what it would be like to decorate my own place.

Not to mention, the stress of millennials not being able to afford their homes is something that is always on my mind. Day by day, I try to become more financially literate to achieve the goal of being a property owner. Even though the odds are against me, it’s a yearning for which I’m determined to succeed.

Ultimately, I feel that not having my own place of respite limits my personal growth. How can I grow if I don’t have a space that defines me?

Categories
Book Reviews Books BRB Gone Viral Pop Culture

Here’s every emotion I felt while reading the “After” series

The After series lined up on a black and white rug.
[Image description: The After series lined up on a black and white rug.] Via @ohthebookfeels on Tumblr

Ever since I can remember, books have been the biggest part of my life. And for me, a good book is simply one that shakes me to my core and keeps me reading. But only a few books have been capable of pulling me into a deep, pure, ecstatic need for words.

A few weeks ago, I watched the movie After. It’s based on Anna Todd’s After series which is supposed to be Harry Styles fanfiction though I really didn’t see the similarity. While the plot of the movie intrigued me, it wasn’t enough. I felt like the film skipped over scenes. So, last week, the reader in me went in search of the first book.

One week later – I’ve read all five novels in the series and my emotions are all over the place. 

The five books – After, After We Collided, After We Fell, After Ever Happy, and Before – revolve around the story of two characters, Tessa Young and Hardin Scott.

Tessa is the girl next door – pure, innocent, focused but also flawed in her own ways. Hardin is an encapsulation of the bad boy trope, except for one thing – his love of literature, a side of him which really struck me. He quotes Austen and Fitzgerald, has facial piercings, and is covered in tattoos. 

The characters meet through Tessa’s roommate Steph, one of Hardin’s friends. A pre-planned game of truth or dare pushes them closer together under false pretenses, the details of which we don’t find out about until the end of the first book.

The After series encompasses the devastatingly beautiful yet incredibly toxic and emotionally abusive relationship between the two characters; the way Hardin constantly shows up when Tessa doesn’t want him to, the way he acts around her co-worker Trevor, and his intense anger that blows out of proportion and ends in violence almost every time things don’t go his way.

And Tessa has her fair share of moments; when she kisses another boy in front of Hardin just to prove her point, and how she keeps running to Zed Evans (Hardin’s friend) when she has a fight with Hardin. All these factors contributed to making their relationship increasingly flammable and yet, they still somehow always worked it out.

Reading about how toxic the relationship was was incredibly uncomfortable. Typically, when I read or watch something with such a messed up relationship premise, I call them out on it.

However, something about these books pulled me into them.

Maybe it was the burning chemistry between the two characters, maybe it was the way literature was a constant theme in the story, or maybe it was because I was waiting for the characters to finally be together – without all the bullshit. I also kept reading to see the bad boy turn good.

Because isn’t that one of the reasons we turn to fiction? To make us believe in things we wouldn’t otherwise think possible.

While the After series is not inspiring or life-changing, the books are quick, easy reads that I lost myself in. And now here I am, struggling to get this story out of my head. 

Moments like Tessa and Hardin’s heated discussion over Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy, Tessa bringing Hardin closer to his estranged father, Hardin taking Tessa to his favorite spot – these are the moments that pulled me through the suffocating thread of their relationship.

And Hardin. He struggles with connecting with the people in his life (until he meets Tessa) and that in itself is the biggest challenge of all. There’s a line in the third book that reads:

“It’s ironic really, that the man who hates the world is most loved by it.”

It was tragic to see that Hardin had trouble seeing that. His character is emotionally damaged and he carries his childhood trauma right up until the fourth book which I found so appealing because for me, as a reader, and as a person, seeing someone face their trauma, accept it, and move on – that’s a story that needs to be heard.

The chemistry between the characters in the After series is undoubtedly palpable. They’re constantly pulled towards each other, mistake after mistake, and although Hardin does some terrible things, Tessa is not the innocent character she started off as.

The book is peppered with hot and heavy scenes, but above that, it has well-rounded primary as well as secondary characters, and a story that will make your heart hurt just a little.

The inherent problem within these books, though, is the fact that Tessa keeps going back to Hardin time and time again. He messes up, lies, destroys everything in his path, and yet she still goes back to him. Although I can’t seem to understand it, I still somehow root for it.

Plot twist after plot twist kept me tethered. Most stories have a beginning, middle, and end, but the arc of this story keeps rising and falling, keeping you engaged with its tumultuous movement.

I don’t think the books support toxic relationships, but they somehow portray this frightening reality that many people can relate to. So if you’re looking for a quick read, an emotional rollercoaster, and a story that drags you into its depths, this one’s for you.

Rating: 4 out of 5

Categories
Career Money Now + Beyond

We need to think long and hard about child entrepreneurs

A child with light brown hair is wearing a yellow top and sitting in the lap of a woman wearing a red top. Both are looking at a laptop.
[Image description: A child with light brown hair is wearing a yellow top and sitting in the lap of a woman wearing a red top. Both are looking at a laptop.] Via Pexels

I genuinely believe in the power of business to incite social change and alleviate poverty, although, in some circles, that may be an unpopular opinion. I have mad respect for entrepreneurs who have started something from the ground up and built a business, company culture and a community around a single idea.  That said, as I’ve been scrolling through the many business/entrepreneurship Instagram channels that I follow, I have noticed an increasingly disturbing trend – child entrepreneurs. 

Lily Born founded the Kangaroo Cup, a three-legged cup designed for those suffering from Parkinson’s, in order to reduce liquid spillages. Robert Nay created Bubble Ball, part of his larger company Nay Games, which surpassed Angry Birds in downloads. Moziah Bridges started Mo’s Bows, a bow-tie business, which led him to strike a partnership deal with the NBA. 

The common thread between all three? They were all under sixteen years old when they founded their respective businesses. 

It is easy, if not natural, to look at these young minds and their innovative ideas, and be inspired by them. We definitely should be inspired. These kids deserve credit for noticing a problem, working hard to find a solution to it, and being dedicated to their idea. They represent the consumable narrative that success has no age, and that hard work and passion will get you anywhere. 

But this is just one of the many narratives that capitalism conveys in order to keep the system running the way that it runs. 

Let’s tangibly think about a child under the age of ten, what is the likelihood that they are doing the day-to-day running of the business like producing the products, keeping the books, managing orders? You guessed it – close to none. Most, if not all, of well-known child entrepreneurs, have gone “into business” with either a parent or a family member. These “child entrepreneurs” are essentially marketing gimmicks for parents puppeteering from above, knowing full well that it is probably illegal for their child to be engaging in any kind of real work. This marketing ploy seems almost like a twisted, neoliberal form of child labor. 

Entrepreneurship and start-up cultures are largely focused on funding. Once an idea is solidified, and a market offering is built around it, the long process of securing a source of finance begins. This process is not only grueling but super competitive, with multiple rounds and hundreds of start-ups competing for the same pool of money. 

What does it say to a child psychologically when their reward system becomes focused on money? The simple equation for a child is that money equals business growth and further promotion of themselves as brands, which equals to even more money. 

These child entrepreneurs are being celebrated for their ability to partake in the capitalist system, and so it is being ingrained in their growth and development that financial wealth and a competitive spirit will get you ahead. In then using these children as examples for other children, we are continuing to spread this unhealthy narrative, pitting children against one another in a bid to become the best of the best. 

In disseminating such messages, and putting these overachieving children (or rather their parents) on a pedestal, we are impeding well-rounded growth that acknowledges the value of failure, emotional wellbeing, and health. We are celebrating overachieving at the expense of achieving, and at the expense of just being children.

It is one thing to celebrate and reward a bright child, and an entirely different thing to turn that brightness into a profit-making machine. Parents engaging in this postmodern style of parenting need to take a step back and think about the human they are creating amidst all the funding rounds, publicity shoots and idea generation sessions. It’s the ultimate definition of a Momager / Papager which always seems great in the beginning, having your parent guide you, but in hindsight can be super damaging.

Categories
Editor's Picks TV Shows Movies Pop Culture

Millions watch “Love Island” for the lust and heartbreak, but what about the violence?

[Image description: The cast of Love Island pose for a publicity image.] Via ITV.
[Image description: The cast of Love Island pose for a publicity image.] Via ITV.

Quentin Tarantino’s ninth movie, Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, boasts the three M’s: Magnificent Brad, Marvellous Leo, and the queen Margot Robbie. On my way down to London a few weeks ago, I listened to an interview with three of the cast on Radio 4. 

Five minutes in, the typical Tarantino question came up: “What effect do you think the violence of these films has on those who watch it?”

Why can’t I bring myself to care about this question? I thought.

Really, it’s the kind of question that’s repeatedly asked by interviewers who can’t think of anything original to ask.

Here’s the thing, though: the problems we have as a society run deeper than the possibility your neighbor may be inclined to blow your face off a la The Hateful Eight. Rather, they stem from mental health and wellbeing issues. A case where reality TV shows like Love Island are far more harmful to a person’s psyche than a Tarantino movie. 

Is it easier to pick apart an obviously fictional film than a show that supposedly depicts real people?

Collectively, we see a much larger scale of viewership for reality shows than those who visit or watch full movies. In fact, reality TV consistently ranked in the top ten most viewed cable shows in 2018 on Sunday nights. Americans are also spending ⅓ of their free time watching reality TV shows. Just in July, Love Island reached its highest-ever ratings of over six million viewers.

With our screen time so saturated with such shows, why are we not directing the same line of questioning to their TV producers? Especially when this blurred line between reality and fiction is where the danger lies. Is it easier to pick apart an obviously fictional film than a show that supposedly depicts real people?

Scientific research shows that while it is hard to tell if there is a correlation between watching violent movies and actual violence, younger kids are most susceptible when they cannot distinguish between reality and fiction: reality shows where fiction is passed off as reality.

It was huge news when Made In Chelsea (MIC) revealed that some scenes were made for “viewers’ entertainment.” Since then, The Only Way is Essex and MIC always qualify the realism before each show with a title shot. Where is this for Love Island?

Model Tyla Carr, who appeared in the 2017 series of Love Island, revealed that producers would prompt islanders to have certain conversations, going as far as repeating break-ups if they weren’t properly filmed the first time. The show wants to create an exciting narrative yet depicts participants in one-dimensional and pre-determined lights to fit a scene which is detrimental to both contestant and viewer.

Love Island, as a rule, also never shows lunchtime – it’s too boring. Too normal. Reality shows are like a video version of social media then, only showing the highlights. This wouldn’t be so bad if the shows were classed as fiction – like a say a Tarantino film – but they’re not.

Body image issues are stemming from the daily dose of six-packs and perky, tight bums.

What danger has the misrepresentation of a fictional genre as reality TV created? For starters, young impressionable viewers are given unrealistic expectations of how to look and behave.

 

Body image issues are stemming from the daily dose of six-packs and perky, tight bums. Google is flooded with publications – Cosmopolitan, The Independent, and Glamour – highlighting the mental health and body issues that have stemmed from the show. Cosmopolitan, in particular, warn readers of the “The Love Island Effect,” a phrase coined by Food Psychologist and previous Bake-Off finalist Kimberly Wilson.

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bjo2DfbApWq/?utm_source=ig_embed

Posts are continuously popping up advising young people on coping with the promotion of unrealistic body types.

Young Minds recently published such a post by a 17-year-old writer. She wrote that “for two months, we are being continually inundated with uniform body types, far from the diverse society that we live in… we must always remind ourselves that what we are seeing on our screens is far from reality.”

Love Island couldn’t be further from reality and yet, it’s still classed as a reality show. We know it’s been curated for our enjoyment but insecurities quickly rise as the show’s popularity does. 

The interactions of the contestants also encourage toxic relationships, show horrific ways of handling conflict, and glamorizes aggressive confrontation. Two years ago, one male contestant called a female contestant a slag.

Then, in the fifth season, contestant Amber Gill tried to convince viewers and contestants that another contestant, Danny Williams, was causing a problem. Contestant Anna Vakili added to that by dismissing him childishly, repeatedly waving and patronizingly saying “bye” as he conversed with Amber.

 

 

With over half a million views on YouTube, you start to wonder what our youth are being taught regarding ideal ways to navigate social situations in the real world.

With the moments of redemption few and far in between, one of the most telling signs of the show’s insidious nature can be seen in the fact that both Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis, past Love Island contestants, took their own lives within one year of each other.

Reality shows, then, are equally harmful to contestants. The aforementioned Instagram post also references past contestant Simon Searles who revealed, “[the boys would] be working out like crazy during the day trying to stay in shape. They wouldn’t eat anything.”

Not everyone agrees that this smudging of reality with fiction is negative, though.

Ophelia Stimpson, a 25-year-old Oxford grad viewer of Love Island, says the show is “clever” for creating “a theater which panders to ‘intelligent’ viewers.” Stimpson finds it “interesting” that “it actually refers to the people in it as the ‘cast’ and ‘characters’, and that “it’s hilarious [that] the way it’s edited makes it look like they can only comprehend the situation in front of them, with zero emotional depth.”

Tarantino has always been crystal clear about the difference between his reality and fiction.

Hilarious maybe for some, (though how arrogant do you have to be to call them intelligent) but I have an inkling this Roman-like position of letting the masses battle for your enjoyment is not taking into account the bigger picture.

Why is a Tarantino film not nearly as sinister as Love Island, then? Well, where reality shows purposefully blur the line, Tarantino has always been crystal clear about the difference between his reality and fiction.

Plus Size Clothing

“I abhor violence in real life and love it in the genre,” he’s said on multiple occasions. His love for violence stems from a love for “good cinema”, not a desire to see it in reality. He has attended rallies against police brutality and repeatedly called out America for not discussing its racist past – something he’s even tackled with Django Unchained. 

Interviewers and critics are comfortable asking the hard questions to the producers who are used to answering them, but where are the same questions to reality show producers? Mental health and body issues are topics far more relevant to our society in 2019 than a tenuous link between violence and violence genre.

As the popularity of reality shows grow, we deserve an answer and some responsibility from the top dogs who create them.