[Image description: Bandaids laid across a yellow wall.] via Unsplash
Biting your nails is a peculiar thing. Many don’t know exactly why they do it (I certainly don’t) but it’s somehow just a thing.
It’s part of my personality at this point: Hi, my name is Kajal. I love dogs, Harry Potter, and biting my nails. My only comfort is knowing that I’m not alone in this fight.
1. Always having short nails. Always.
[Image Description: Bart Simpson asks Homer Simpson, “I borrowed your nail clipper. What’s the big deal?”.] Via GiphyWhat’s even are nail clippers? You can’t remember the last time you actually had to set time aside to cut your fingernails.
2. Feeling insecure about your short nails.
[Image Description: A woman saying, “I feel insecure all the time”.] Via GiphyAll nail biters know that our nails aren’t like other’s short nails. Others cut their nails to be short, they’re fairly neat and straight.
Our look like WWII took place your hands. They’re uneven and cracked. And you’re sometimes very insecure about them.
3. Investing a lot of money into acrylic nails.
[Image Description: A baby throwing money out a window.] Via GiphyWhenever you have a job interview or a date, you always feel the need to put on a façade that your nails aren’t actually horrendously unhealthy. So, you invest a lot of your self-care money into acrylic nails.
4. Whenever I wear acrylic nails, everything feels so weird…
[Image Description: A hand with long nails rotates.] Via GiphyNo matter how many times you actually wear acrylic nails, it will ALWAYS feel unnatural. You forget how to normally pick up or hold things.
5. …and I still bite my acrylic nails anyway.
[Image Description: Spongebob erratically biting his nails.] Via GiphyIt’s wrong. I know.
But the habit does not magically go away once you have on acrylic nails. And so, you bite your acrylic nails (sometimes to the point where they completely come off).
6. Flaking on hangouts when you run out of acrylic nails.
[Image Description: The Grinch saying, “That’s it. I’m not going.”.] Via GiphySimply just canceling everything because you do not have the energy to go get more acrylic nails nor to explain why your hands look the way they do.
7. Having ‘the nail talk’ with your hopefully future spouse.
[Image Description: A man asking, “What are you talking about?”] Via GiphyLet’s say I don’t flake on hangouts or dates and actually spend enough time in public to find a romantic partner.
They’re going to figure out a way to somehow warn me about an upcoming proposal so that I can get my nails done. This is non-negotiable.
8. You can’t take cute Instagram photos holding ice-cream cones or wine glasses.
[Image Description: A woman holds out an ice cream cone.] Via UnsplashSeeing my friends post really artsy photos featuring their gorgeous nails and I struggle to not click ‘unfollow’ out of sheer pettiness.
9. My nail technician hates me. Can you blame them, though?!
[Image Description: A cat files its nails with a stern expression.] Via GiphyOn those rare occasions that I have enough of a natural nail left, I try to get a manicure.
But at the end of the day, nail technicians can smell a nail biter from a mile away – and she always yells at me for harming my nails.
10. Painting your skin when you attempt to do an at-home manicure.
[Image Description: A woman holding her hands up in frustration.] Via GiphyI sometimes attempt to avoid an awkward encounter with my nail technician by trying out a DIY manicure, but the skin around my nail gets more product than my actual nail.
Every. Single. Time. Ugh!
11. The occasional bleeding cuticle breaks you and makes you call sick into work.
[Image Description: A woman saying, “It just hurts so much.”] Via GiphyBleeding cuticles hurt. Like a lot. And they happen to my poor fingers much more than I would like.
12. Going overboard and biting just a little too much off.
[Image Description: A woman rubbing her head in frustration.] Via GiphyThis pain may be even worse than bleeding cuticles.
All nail biters can relate to when you’re mindlessly chomping away at your nails and then suddenly you bite just a little too much off at the tip. Your nail bed is exposed to the harsh world and the stinging pain reminds you of the time (just 5 seconds ago) when you took being pain-free for granted.
13. Eating food with your hands with too-short nails.
[Image Description: Man saying, “It burns!”] Via GiphyAs a Brown girl, I love curry. But with curry comes spices and chilies …that burn. Nail biters who eat with their hands can relate to my predicament when your nails are just a tad too short and the searing pain hits your nail bed with every bite you take.
It’s like putting hot sauce on an open wound. But the food is just so good that we keep eating anyway.
14. You have family members who share your habit…
[Image Description: High School Musical dance sequence where they sing, “We’re all in this together.”] Via GiphyWhen I was 6 years old, my notorious nail biter of a sister forced me to bite my nail. Well ‘forced’ is quite an accusation considering the fact that all she told me was, “Bite your nail!” I did it anyway and I have only stopped once since.
Only to start it up again recently.
Basically, many nail biters don’t just bite their nails. They learned from a close person in their life that they strove to emulate.
15. …and you have family members that absolutely can’t stand it.
[Image Description: Woman gagging.] Via GiphyOn the other hand, many nail biters have people in their lives that cringe with every bite they take. It’s a very unnerving sight for some people to witness.
16. You have done it for as long as you can remember.
[Image Description: Old woman says, “It’s been 84 years…”] Via GiphyWhen weren’t you a nail biter? Well, that is one of the many mysteries of life.
17. You get sick more often than the average person.
[Image Description: Woman laughs then breaks out into a cough.] Via Giphy“Why am I constantly getting colds?” I ask myself as I bite my fingernail straight after touching a computer mouse that 23 other students have already used.
18. Every new person you meet tells you the exact same thing.
[Image Description: Woman smiles uncomfortably.] Via Giphy“You know that’s really bad for you right? I had a cousin who once got a nail infection because he kept biting them and they had to amputate his finger.”
Thanks for the unsolicited advice, Karen.
19. You stay awake at night worrying about your future amputated finger.
[Image Description: Man looks around anxiously whilst in bed.] Via GiphyDespite the annoyance, you sometimes genuinely kept worried that your habit will lead to serious health conditions down the road.
20. You’ve tried to quit. Over and over and over again.
[Image Description: Two men trying to open a door with one screaming, “I’m trying! It’s much harder than it looks! ] Via GiphyYou’ve bought the clear bitter nail polishes. You snapped a rubber band on your wrist every time you’ve found your hand in our mouth. You’ve had the hype sessions with your drunk friends at 2 a.m. about throwing away both your unhealthy relationship and habits.
You’ve made about 78453 attempts to quit. But it just isn’t that easy for some.
21. But stress and anxiety do not help. At all.
[Image Description: Man nervously bites his nails.] Via GiphyNo matter how much you tell yourself that you aren’t going to bite your nails, the woes of life hit and you’re back at it again!
[Image description: A dark-haired woman has her eyes closed and head tilted to the side. She stands in a black-and-brown saree.] Via Jessica Cao on Unsplash
All cultures have their ways, habits that are only ever truly understood by people who belong to the culture.
We’re rambunctious, we’re social, we’re frugal – we were probably the first to take home the mini-toiletries found in hotel rooms. And once we’ve declared something a tradition, it’s pretty hard to change our damn minds.
Not convinced? Here you go:
1. You talk to your dad…by talking to your mom.
[Image description: A woman in a black, white polka-dotted dress says: “Sorry Dad” to her father next to her. He is in a gray suit.] Via GIPHYYou see your friends from all over the world share things with their fathers directly and you think, “cute”.
Meanwhile, your quickest way to get in touch with your dad is to share information through your mother instead. You can always rely on mom telling dad everything, and him actually listening for a change. Why fix it if it ain’t broke?
2. Something is always cooking or being cleaned.
[Image description: A woman in an orange kurti is washing dishes with a look of disgust on her face.] Via GIPHYYou know how in movies when the main character returns home and sees the door left ajar, and immediately knows something is wrong? Our equivalent of that is not hearing any noises from the kitchen.
In a Desi household, food is always cooking, and when it’s not, all we do is talk about it until it’s cooking again.
3. You were born with a loudspeaker.
[Image description: A girl grabs her forehead in pain and asks: “Why is she shouting?”] Via GIPHYYou are used to seeing people wonder if your family is fighting or creating a scene when you’re actually just… talking to each other.
I never quite know how to explain the phenomenon when one Desi meets another and simply gets louder… and louder… and louder.
4. You can NEVER miss your dad’s call.
[Image description: A dark-haired animated character says, “Start panicking,” to the monkey on his shoulder.] Via GIPHYMissed two of your mom’s calls? You can go about your day, knowing you’ll talk soon.
Missed one call from your dad? Cue a panic attack and a one-way ticket away from home because you can never set foot in your house again.
5. You’re expected to be deeply involved in everyone’s lives.
[Image description: A man in a gray coat and a white shirt asks, “Do you even care?”] Via GIPHYYou have no choice; you will be told where your uncle’s kids are vacationing or who your cousin is about to marry. You might even be expected to care.
The only consolation is everyone probably feels the same when hearing about that new haircut you got.
6. It’s hard to explain sunblock sometimes.
[Image description: A woman in a black-and-white shirt looks around confused.] Via GIPHYNot everyone in your family gets why you’re applying sunblock before stepping outside because “you’re already brown.” Can’t argue in the face of such strong logic though.
7. There is a home remedy for everything.
[Image description: A red-haired woman in a purple top laughs and shakes her head as she says: “It’s funny because it’s true!”] Via GIPHYFrom headaches and stomach bugs to skin conditions, Desi households have herbs for everything.
You might’ve been skeptical at first, but then they actually ended up working. Now you’re a believer for life.
8. You skip a meal (or two) before going to a relative’s house.
[Image description: A dark-haired woman is crying as she stuffs food into her already-full mouth.] Via GIPHYGoing to your aunt’s house and eating less than two servings? An insult to your entire family.
9. You love biryani. By love, I mean love.
[Image description: Two men eating food.] Via GIPHYAre you even Desi if you don’t eat biryani on a weekly basis? And if you don’t like biryani?
Blasphemy.
10. You hate the crap that comes in the biryani.
[Image description: A dark-haired, bearded man says: “Sometimes you’ll get biryani and there’ll be straight up sticks in it.”] Via GIPHYThe worst part about your deep love for biryani is living with the flaws that have to accompany it.
These imperfections, mainly the black pepper, might make biryani taste and smell great until they find their way into your mouth and you bite right into it.
11. Food containers are why you have trust issues.
[Image description: Two men dance while singing, “Galti se mistake [Mistake by mistake].”] Via GIPHYHave you ever opened a box of biscuits, only to remember you ate the biscuits and kept the box to store all your pins?
Or open a container you think has food, only to discover your mom is using it for sewing needles?
12. You are at your most liberal when it comes to seasoning.
[Image description: A man in a suit and glasses says: “No particular taste? That’s America’s favorite flavor.”] Via GIPHYIt’s almost hard to eat the local cuisine when you travel abroad because you’re too used to extensively seasoning your food.
Yes, we over-season.
No, we cannot be stopped.
13. You definitely have a drawer full of multi-purpose bags.
[Image description: A woman on the phone says: “I’m going grocery shopping, need anything?”] Via GIPHYA day of shopping undoubtedly ends with you saving the bags, whether it’s a grocery bag or one from a retail store. Your grandmother did it, your mother did it, and now you do this as well.
Can’t explain it. It’s just tradition.
14. You fight over what is Indian and what is Pakistani.
[Image description: A man in a gray sweater asks: “How Pakistani are you?” while pointing.] Via GIPHYTechnically we’re all brown and pretty much the same, but your life depends on bickering about what came from India and what came from Pakistan, conveniently forgetting the hundreds of years they used to be one and the same.
15. You put water in shampoo bottles to make the shampoo last longer.
[Image description: A man in a black shirt animatedly says: “We’re gonna save that money.”] Via GIPHYI can’t be the only one who grew up opening the shampoo bottle and squeezing it, only to end up lathering what was mostly water on my hair.
The practice is pretty frugal though, and also makes for a great prank if you’re sharing bathrooms (and shampoos) with your siblings.
16. You can eat achaar with anything and everything.
[Image description: A shirtless man says: “I love mango chutney, really any type of chutney.”] Via GIPHYAchaar is a staple in your household. Meals are literally incomplete without it.
Eating rice? Have some achaar.
Eating roti? Have some more achaar.
17. Daal chawal is your comfort food.
[Image description: A hand garnishes a bowl of yellow daal (lentil).] Via GIPHYYou love pizza just as much as the person next to you, but daal chawal is what you turn to for comfort. Whether you live with your parents or by yourself in a foreign country, a plate of daal chawal will always be home.
And let’s not forget the achaar.
18. Your entire family can squeeze in one (small) car.
[Image description: A woman with brown hair looks around a gathering, annoyed.] Via GIPHYYou scoff when you go abroad and see one person on one car seat or children in baby seats. Logically, that’s the right way to go, but who needs logic when you can fit an entire group of people in one car?
You can tell yourself it’s to save the fuel (hint: it’s not).
19. You’ll take chai over coffee any day.
[Image description: A frog puppet drinks Lipton tea from a mug.] Via GIPHYYou may like coffee but chai is where your heart is. Nothing beats a cup of tea after (or during) a tiring day.
20. It’s not weird to eat with your hands.
[Image description: A girl with brown hair gestures as if she is about to vomit.] Via GIPHYYou can comfortably eat most food, including rice, with your hands if need be, and only realize most of the world does not do this when people tend to look at you weird.
21. It takes you forever to say goodbye.
[Image description: A woman in a shiny silver kurta emerges on top of a staircase and says: “I’m back!”] Via GIPHYYou get up to leave a gathering and shake hands with everyone, no clearer sign of indicating an exit, and yet somehow the word bye stems into a conversation that requires you to spend the next 20 minutes by the door in a quick post-gathering gathering where you just have to discuss everything.
[Image description: Felicity Jones - a white, brunette actress from Birmingham - is coyly smiling.] Via Wikimedia Commons
Nestled in the West Midlands of the United Kingdom, Birmingham is the birthplace of Cadbury’s, the photocopier, and the X-ray scanner. Brummies built spitfires for World War II (you’re welcome, world), had their name copied 30 times across the world (including a crater on the moon), and are even the inspiration behind the Shire, home of Bilbo Baggins from The Hobbit.
But we are also at the butt-end of many jokes which can get quite tedious.
So, here’s a list of all the things that only people from Birmingham understand:
1. The hate for our accent
[Image description: A man in a brown jacket and orange shirt is saying “You don’t have a cute British accent.”] Via GIPHYThe Birmingham, or ‘Brummie’, accent is accused of being the WORST accent in the country.
As Brummies, we don’t really hear it so the jokes are on the fools who hate it! There are so many different accents in the city that there is no telling which one they are referring to. Actress Felicity Jones, singer Ozzy Osbourne, and presenter Cat Deeley are all from Birmingham – all three have completely different accents, so which one is it?
2. The Bull
[Image description: A bronze bull sculpture outside a building, dressed in a union jack onesie.] Via The BullringThe Guardian – a bronze bull sculpture in our city center – is the symbol of everything Birmingham and, honestly, we don’t know why but we’ve just gone with it.
We love our Bull, in all his crazy, seasonal, and cultural outfits. It is a landmark and the most obvious meet-up point. He is a part of us but we don’t like the outsiders that climb all over him when it specifically says DO NOT CLIMB THE BULL. Leave him alone and get your own!
3. Only people from Birmingham can call it ‘Brum’
[Image description: A blonde haired man in a white chef’s uniform is saying “No frickin’ way.”] Via GIPHYIt’s the rules.
Don’t fight us on this. Only Brummies can call the city Brum. It is our term of endearment for our beloved city. Outsiders are not permitted to use it. We don’t care.
4. Having a Goth phase when first entering the Oasis Market
[Image description: Four cartoon characters dressed up like goths in black clothes, dark hair, piercings, and dark eye makeup] Via GIPHYIt was absolutely going to happen.
You couldn’t fight it no matter how hard you tried. Once you entered the Oasis Market in the city center you would 100 percent leave as a Goth. It was part of the deal whether you liked it or not. Body piercings, tattoos, alternative fashions, and decor – it was a whole new world for angsty teenagers.
5. And then gathering at Pigeon Park
[Image description: Several people are sat on grass in the sun with trees in the back.] Via Birmingham MailPigeon Park was literally the courtyard of St. Phillip’s Church in the heart of the business district. Pigeon Park became the teenager hangout where we would make the business professionals in their suits and briefcases yearn for the life they once had.
6. The annual Christmas German Market
[Image description: A nighttime landscape of a lit-up market place with people.] Via Visit BirminghamWhile it is the biggest authentic German Market outside of Germany and Austria, Brummies get pretty annoyed.
Too many people gathering in the city center in the lead up to Christmas is the last thing we want when things are already busy. But let’s be real – while we all groan and roll our eyes, we also know it means Christmas is coming and spirits are lifted.
7. Being proud that our landscape was the inspiration for Middle Earth
[Image description: A man is running up hill with a map in his hand. The words “I’m going on an adventure!” are on screen in white.] Via GIPHYWho would’ve guessed the world of Middle Earth was based off of Birmingham? More specifically the nature spots of Sarehole Mill and the Moseley Bog – both of which hold annual Middle Earth festivals and host Tolkien Trails – in which fans of Lord of the Rings walk the paths to view the landscapes that inspired Middle Earth. The Perrott’s Folly and the University of Birmingham Clock Tower were inspirations of the Two Towers as well – all in good old Brum!
7. But also having to constantly listen to the Venice-Birmingham canals comparison
[Image description: A blonde, white woman is wearing a white tank top. She rolls her eyes and throws her head back.] Via GIPHYWe get it! We have more canals than Venice! We are a larger city so it makes sense, but we are much more than that and definitely much better than having to just be associated with it so get over it!
8. Most of us have never been to Cadbury World
[Image description: A woman in a purple sari is holding a bar of Cadbury’s chocolate and is breaking a piece off.] Via GIPHYOutsiders always tell us how amazing Cadbury World is. Seeing the chocolate being made, buying it relatively cheap, and learning about the history and the start of the Cadbury company – but most Brummies haven’t been. Yes, we are ashamed and do hang our heads in disappointment at ourselves.
9. The North/South divide
[Image description: A woman with straight long black hair is talking with a smile on her face. She says, “Maybe I am better than you.”] Via GIPHYWe never understood what this was all about. Birmingham is in the Midlands i.e. the middle of the country, so why do the Northerners call us Southerners and visa-versa? We’ve always called ourselves ‘Midlanders’, so what is up with this slander in shredding us verbally and then pushing us to the other side? We don’t want to be a part of the North or South – we’re too good for either anyway.
10. “I’m from Birmingham too!”
[Image description: A woman is leaning to one side and yells, “Lies!”] Via GIPHYLies! The Black Country and Wolverhampton are not Birmingham. Stop trying to make it happen!
11. Public transport is a nightmare
[Image description: Three women dressed in red, green, and purple respectively get scared of bus doors opening.] Via GIPHYNew Street Station (our largest train station) is too large for it’s own good and difficult to navigate and the number 50 bus service is the best and worst bus service. Highly doubt that there is any other city whose commuters have to wait 50 minutes for a bus and then have three turn up at the same time or have buses just randomly disappear off the live timetable feed.
12. We are beautiful!
[Image description: Birmingham Town Hall (a Pantheon style building), The Council House (a classical style building). and steps, water features, statutes and memorials are pictured.] Via GavinWarrins on Wikimedia CommonsWe appreciate our vast range of architecture. Wooden Tudor houses such as Blakesley Hall, Jacobean manors like Aston Hall, our Town and Symphony Hall looking like the Pantheon and the classical-style of the Council House. But we also have some of the most beautiful country parks – Lickey Hills, Shire Country Park and Sutton Park – the views are incredible.
13. Criminal misconceptions
[Image description: A black and white clip of several well-suited men walking together,] Via GIPHYYes, Peaky Blindersis set in Birmingham and is about a real gang that existed in the 20th century.
No, we are not all gang members, nor do we ever wish we were (but we sure as hell will milk the tourism and attention Birmingham gets for it). And yes, the controversial Benefits Streetwas also set in Birmingham, but we’re not a crime-ridden, lazy-bum hell hole either. We’re super friendly and really awesome.
14. We are not stupid…
[Image description: Five yellow cartoon people watch a little girl walk into the room with a pie. A man in a blue suit says, “It’s the organization for people with high I.Q.’s”] Via GIPHYThis goes back to the accent thing. You might think our accent is stupid, but when you tell us things about our city like you’re the expert, you’re the only person that looks like an idiot.
We have six universities, making us the largest UK center for higher education outside of London. We were also at the center of the Midlands Enlightenment during the second half of the eighteenth century and the home of the original Lunar Society where prominent industrialists, philosophers and intellectuals met regularly.
15. The “ramp”
[Image description: A woman with blonde hair is looking to the left and then looks straight ahead and then winks.] Via GIPHYTo be a true Brummie is to know what and where the “ramp” is.
It takes you from New Street to the Grand Central shopping center and is always crowded with people walking on the wrong side, and queues for the ever-famous McDonald’s going out the door. But, it is also a pivotal meeting point. If you don’t know where or what the “ramp” is, you’re screwed.
16. It’s “Town”. Not the “City Center”
[Image description: A woman in a hat and blue shirt is walking through a desert and pulls on her sunglasses as the words “Deal with it” appear on screen.] Via GIPHYDon’t question us. It just is. Get over it.
17. Islands
[Image description: A brown-haired, white woman in a black dress is sat on a red couch and is talking. She says, “I don’t know.”] Via GIPHYThese are not some exclusive country clubs where the posh-trotters from the Little Aston neighborhood come to play tennis and humbly brag. Nor are they some exotic restaurants with foods and drinks from the Far East and Polynesia. No. Islands are literally roundabouts.
Every roundabout is an island – it’s just the way it is and we don’t know why.
18. We take St. Patrick’s Day VERY seriously
[Image description: A group of people are dressed in black and mourning. One of the men is saying ‘Today…we are all Irish!”] Via GIPHYWhich is really weird because we are in England and England’s patron saint is St. George and while there are celebrations for St. George across the city, why we go overboard for St. Patrick’s Day still baffles some of us.
19. The weather
[Image description: Five animated white balls against a blue background. The one on the far right swings out to reveal a sun and the one on the far left swings out to reveal a rain cloud.] Via GIPHYIt’s British courtesy to start a conversation about the weather.
It’s just who we are – but Birmingham weather is beyond weird. It can snow everywhere in the country and yet will never come to us. There can be sunny spells everywhere but we’ll be in the middle of a storm. It’s like we’re not even in the same country!
20. WE are the second city!
[Image description: Four white people are sat in a car and are singing, “We are the champions” enthusiastically.] Via GIPHYWar has been ongoing between Manchester and Birmingham over who takes the trophy for Second City. Manchester claims it belongs to them but when government ministers themselves declared Birmingham as the Second City, you know you’ve won.
Sorry Manchester, but you just have to stay in your lane. This is ours!
21. It’s home
[Image description: A white girl with brown hair and a blue bow in her hair has her eyes closed as she says, “There’s no place like home.”] Via GIPHYAs Brummies, we criticize everything about our city (because we’re still English and English people love to complain) but only we are allowed to do that. If outsiders even dare, all hell will break loose. We will defend our home because to be a Brummie is an honor and something to be proud of.
[Image description: A young trio stand in a busy mess hall. They're dressed in school jumpers and comprise one light brown-haired girl on the left, a dark-haired boy in the middle, and a red-haired boy on the right. They're all white.] Via Warner Bros
Similar to many 90s babies, I too credit J.K. Rowling for sparking my love of reading. One fateful day in 2001, my eldest sister sat me down with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Little did she know that that one act would turn her youngest sibling into a raving Potterhead.
Since, I’ve lived and breathed anything HP-related. I read the series countless times, I held debates with my siblings over why the order of birth should not be taken into consideration when deciding who gets to read the newest release first, I dropped references into everyday conversations, I memorized the spells, and so much more.
So, whether your love (read: obsession) is anything like mine or not, here are 23 signs of an absolute Potterhead.
1. You’ve read the series multiple times
[Image description: A white, young cartoon woman swings around in joy with a book in hand. She has brown hair, tied in a ponytail, and is dressed in a white-and-blue dress. She is outside in a village setting.] Via Tenor
This one’s a given. After all, why would a Potterhead deprive themselves of any chance to jump back into the world of witchcraft and wizardry?
2. You’ve also read the three supplementary titles that were released
[Image description: A white, young animated woman enthusiastically picks three books off her shelf. She has long blonde hair, is in a pink dress, and has a green chameleon on her right shoulder.] Via Tenor
3. You’ve read, and perhaps written, your own fanfiction
[Image description: A white woman in a turtleneck and pinned-back hair sits in a dark theater. Through tears, she says “It’s so beautiful.”] Via Tenor
From one-shots and full-fledged novels spanning crossovers, AUs and continuation arcs, the Internet is rich with Harry Potter fanfiction. You’ll find every ship – Jily, Dramione, Drarry, Luneville, and Hinny – sailing, and perhaps have even set sail to your own.
4. You know your acceptance letter was lost in the mail
[Image description: A white, young cartoon boy in a yellow-and-black ensemble checks his mailbox only to find it empty. He then sighs in sadness.] Via Tenor
As magical as it is, owl mail isn’t exactly all that reliable. So yeah, definitely lost, yep. No other reason at all. Please, don’t @ me.
5. Yet, despite never attending Hogwarts, you know which House you belong to
[Image description: A young white man in glasses and a blue scarf is saying “I’m a Ravenclaw, I value wisdom and learning and I’m known for-“, and is interrupted by another white man, in a red-and-yellow scarf, jumping in front of him, excitedly stating “Gryffindors are super popular and always the focus of everything.”] Via GIPHY
The closest you can get to an official Sorting is this quiz on Pottermore. Though deep down, you know you’re more of a mix – Ravendor? Griffinpuff? Slytherclaw? You know yourself.
6. You often wonder what you would see in the Mirror of Erised
[Image description: In a black-and-white animation, a man stands over his bathroom sink and looks into a fogged-up mirror. He then wipes his hand across it to reveal the burning lights of the cosmos.] Via GIPHY
Receiving your letter? Ending patriarchy? A massive Potterhead convention? Perhaps some wool socks? Fun fact: Erised is Desire spelled backwards.
7. You’ve tested out your broom for other capabilities besides sweeping
[Image description: A man dressed as an old lady hops and slides into a room, pretend-playing the guitar on a broom. After landing on his knees, he sweeps the floor.] Via GIPHY
It’s not you who’s not magic, it’s the broom. Let’s stick to using it as a guitar for now.
8. You’ve tried to speak Parseltongue
[Image description: A young white boy with dark hair and round glasses hisses at a snake. The snake then turns around and hisses back.] Via GIPHY
Haashhaaaasssss… maybe Duolingo will add in a course down the line. There are definitely enough Potterheads in the world to get a petition going.
9. You’ve had Duels (and you’ve kicked ass!)
[Image description: A young, white woman with blonde hair begins to cast a spell as she waves her wand. She is dressed in a school uniform consisting of a blazer and tie.] Via GIPHY
Personal favorites of mine include stupefy, petrificus totalus, and expelliarmus. The Unforgivable Curses are a big no-no in my Duelling Club.
10. The Battle of Hogwarts still has you bawling like a baby
[Image description: A black man in a black sweater lies sideways on a couch with his hands resting underneath his face. He is crying heavily with his eyes shut, his body wracked with sobs.] Via Tenor
“And Percy was shaking his brother, and Ron was kneeling beside them, and Fred’s eyes stared without seeing, the ghost of his last laugh still etched upon his face.” *heaving sobs*
11. You’ve had lengthy, passionate discussions with other Potterheads on the symbolism of the series
[Image description: In an animated clip, two Minions – tiny, yellow, and oval beings of varying widths – carry out a slap fight as they yell at each other.] Via Tenor
Did Hedwig’s death symbolize the end of Harry’s innocence? Do different wand woods hold special meaning? Things get pretty heated up in the Potterhead forums.
12. You’re a calm and rational pe – WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN’T READ HARRY POTTER?
[Image description: In an interrogation setting, a handcuffed white man sits across the table from a younger brown-haired, white woman. The door opens and another brown-haired, white woman enters and tosses a book at the man’s face. The clip features the tag #readthebook.] Via Tenor
It’s unfathomable. What have these people been doing with their lives?
13. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child doesn’t exist for you
[Image description: A black woman with short black hair shakes her head as she vehemently says “No, no, no, no, no, no…”] Via GIPHY
14. You’ve had, and crushed, a Harry Potter movie marathon
[Image description: In a cartoon clip, day turns to night and then back into day as a brown bear sits in front of his computer watching some form of video playback. As time passes, he collects food and beverages on his desk, moves through several positions, and wraps himself in a blanket.] Via Tenor
Don on your robes and grab all the butterbeer and chocolate frogs, because you’re not moving off this seat for the next 20 hours.
15. This scene both amuses and irritates you
[Image description: An elderly white man rushes across the room to a startled younger, white boy. The man grabs him by the shoulders and fervently asks “Harry! Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?!”] Via GIPHY
To this day, I still question Michael Gambon’s definition of calm. I also wonder why no one on set went “Hey Mikey! Soooo, the book says Dumbledore said these words calmly…?”
16. You’re still holding out for the TV show
[Image description: A dark-haired white man in a brown suit and red tie stands in the middle of a field of rapeseed, waiting. He checks his watch and then scratches his ear.] Via Tenor
It’s almost been a decade since the movie series ended and Potterheads have been toyed with enough. Will J.K. ever succumb to our demands? Signs say no, unfortunately.
17. You know the fan theories and have a few of your own
[Image description: A short, dark-haired white man in a half-sleeved button-down shirt and striped tie speaks in frustration and animation, gesturing his hands. Behind him is a wall filled with pinned-up papers interconnected with red lines.] Via Tenor
Neville was bad at magic because he was using his father’s wand, and not one which chose him. Crookshanks was the Potters’ cat. J.K. is actually Rita Skeeter. And Harry Potter is immortal – there are hundreds of theories floating.
18. You’ve searched out the toughest HP-themed trivia quizzes, and aced them
Image description: A white, dark-haired man in a black T-shirt – featuring a melting Rubik’s cube – gently pats his forehead while saying “Good brain.”] Via Tenor
I’m talking deep, obscure trivia like knowing that there are 142 staircases in Hogwarts, that 700 fouls can be made in Quidditch, and who Wilkie Twycross is (Apparition Instructor).
19. Hence, you’re the designated expert in your group.
[Image description: In a cemetery, an animated duel commences between a young, dark-haired wizard and an older snake-like one. The older wizard uses “Abracadabra” to turn the younger one into a bunny. The younger one then proceeds to correct his older rival by telling him “Avada Kedavra” is the spell to use. This leads to the older wizard exploding.] Via CHEEZburger
Oh, so you’d like to know how to make a Polyjuice Potion? Simple! All you need is lacewing files, leeches, powdered Bicorn horn, knotgrass, fluxweed, shredded Boomslang skin, and a bit of the person you want to turn into.
20. What’s a Potterhead without their swag?
[Image description: A blonde, white man in a blank tank looks content and pleased as he pulls on a brown, fur jacket.] Via GIPHY
I’m talking pajamas, socks, scarves, hoodies, candles, notebooks, pillows, bedspreads, mugs… there’s no such thing as “too much merch”.
21. There’s no question as to what your kids’ bedtime stories will be
[Image description: A balding, yellow cartoon man in a white shirt grabs and sits his baby daughter on his lap as he leans back into his brown couch. He says to her “You’re going to listen to my story.”] Via GIPHY
Between the canon works and fanfiction, there is enough material to carry you all the way to their adolescence.
22. You’ve hosted Harry Potter-themed parties
[Image description: A set of red-haired white twins high-five as they fly past each other on brooms. Around them, fireworks explode and students watching from below cheer and clap. There are papers strewn about.] Via GIPHY
Do you have a Pinterest board pinned with said themed ideas? DIY-decor, baked treats, posters… because I do.
23. You consider the entire series as self-help
[Image description: A white woman with short blonde hair is standing and talking. She says “When you read a book as a child, it becomes part of your identity.” She is dressed in a white shirt and a teal, velvet cardigan.] Via GIPHY
You wouldn’t be a Potterhead if your life hadn’t changed after reading the series, and it’s a guarantee that you picked up some life lessons along the way.
There are many gems to pick from, but my top two include: “Anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve,” and “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
A joyous occasion celebrating the fasts, the prayers, the many times you repeated to yourself through gritted teeth and clenched fists, “I’m fasting” when you tried to calm your road rage.
The morning of Eid is an especially unique moment.
When else during the year do you iron your shalwar kameez at 6:30 in the morning or do relatives 7 hours ahead of you call at the break of dawn to say hello? Only on Eid morning of course!
4:34 AM
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Despite having to be up by 6:15, you can’t sleep. Are you that excited for Eid?!
Or has your sleep schedule completely been thrown into a blackhole of chaos that is a summer Ramadan and you’ve gotten accustomed to sleeping so early the next morning?
4:59 AM
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Serious existential questions begin to enter your mind.
Did I do everything I could to be a better Muslim this Ramadan? Did I put enough lemon juice on my henna to get ultimate, long-lasting, bold results?
6:10 AM
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Your cutesie “EID <3 :)” alarm label is futile against your right thumb that hits SNOOZE.
6:23 AM
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The battle between the alarm and your right thumb continues. Your thumb wins.
For now.
6:30 AM
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Your brother knocks on your door and tells you it’s to get up. “And oh yeah, Eid Mubarak.”
6:35 AM
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All the showers are occupied. You use this time to groggily iron your Eid outfit which seems to be completely made of chiffon, sequin, cashmere, rose petals, silk worms (not silk, silkworms).
6:58AM
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Once in the bathroom, you wash your face to reduce puffiness. It is still puffy. When your face is all clean, you start putting on your mascara and try to think of the last time you put on a full face of makeup at 7 in the morning.
You remember. It was last Eid.
7:33 AM
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Dressed and phone in hand already buzzing with “Eid Mubarak” texts, you go to the kitchen and your mom has laid out pastries on a fancy tray. You approach the cookies but hesitate. Then you remember that food actually isn’t haram (forbidden) and that it’s all okay now. You grab a powdered sugar cookie and allow the sugar to melt in your mouth.
You cherish this moment. It feels so wrong.
But so right.
Meanwhile, Baba is on his 3rd cup of coffee this morning.
8:02AM
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You are on your way to Eid prayer and there is traffic. Baba makes a dad joke: “I guess everyone’s on their way to Eid prayer!” Your family laughs at the ridiculousness of the notion that all of LA is on their way to celebrate Eid. Then you all silently contemplate how cool that would be.
Then you think about Creeping Shariah and smirk to yourselves.
8:28 AM
Everything is okay!
Your father’s plans for arriving at the early Eid prayer are foiled (as they are every year), and your optimistic mother says, just like every year, “It’s okay, we’ll make the 9 am prayer. Relax, it’s Eid!”
8:35 AM
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You’re finally at the convention center with thousands of other Muslims here to pray the Eid prayer. You put your shoes in a plastic bag provided so intuitively by the facility, sit down next to your mom, and begin saying the takbir chants. You realize you never really learned the takbir. You just know it from the Eid prayers you’ve attended since you were born. You begin saying it louder.
9:03AM
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Eid prayer starts.
Little kids in tutus, bow ties, headbands, mini kaftans run through rows of people praying. Today, you are okay with the children being unruly because it looks like a Gymboree catalog came to life.
9:10 AM
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Eid prayer ends. You hug and kiss the people you know around you.
And the ones who look familiar but you’re not sure if you met them before but it’s probably better to say hello just for good measure.
10:07 AM
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Exit prayer area, head for donut table. Eat celebratory Eid donut and relish in the fact that it’s broad daylight and you’re eating.
11:04AM
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After much picture taking, people meeting, Eid-money receiving, and donut eating, it’s time for the traditional Eid nap.
Go ahead, you need this. You have a long day of celebration ahead.
Young Couple looking at each other in the doorway (via UnSplash)
We’ve all had crushes. It’s that special person who walks into a room and fills your stomach with butterflies. You hate it, but secretly love it. Even people in relationships have harmless, fleeting crushes. These crushes are usually playful and far from serious. They just give us a tiny rush of adrenaline that gets you through the day.
Here is a list of the crushes that you’ll probably encounter before you’re 25.
1. The Celebrity
Jason Momoa smiling (via Giphy)
My celebrity crush is Jason Momoa. He’s so dreamy and hunky and cool and perfect. He’s my ultimate crush and an unhealthy obsession. Sorry, not sorry.
2. Dog walker guy
Dog licking man’s face (via Giphy)
OK. Be honest with yourself, he’s not that cute… but his dog is freaking adorable. And the furry little fellow smiled at you! This guy only seems attractive because he has a dog. You fantasize having a relationship with him, except you spend more time thinking about his canine companion than him.
3. Your childhood beau
High school student in plaid shirt looking distraught with a quote reading “I don’t even count, right” (via Giphy)
He was your first love. You used to dream of getting married to him as you scribbled his name in your notebook. Now that you’re older, you think it would be such a cute story if you two would fall in love. Maybe, he was the hottest kid in the yard back in the day, but admit it, now he’s kind of a dweeb.
4. Barista bae
Barista making latte (via Giphy)
He’s the first person you want to see in the morning and the only one who can get you through the day. He knows your order by heart and doesn’t judge when you when you’re a cranky. He always knows when you need a pick-me-up and gives you your order free of charge. His face is definitely one that you’d like to wake up to.
5. The guy with an accent to die for
Cedric Diggory smiling (via Giphy)
He’s charming and sweet and from a someplace that you want to visit. He always comes into class slightly late but he gets away with it. You love the way that he translates his expressions literally. Everybody adores him and his charming, flirty, ways.
6. The super attractive one
Young Ashton Kutcher thinking “I’m the best person to look at in this room. No, in this whole town. No, in this state.”
You only like him when he’s not talking. He’s gorgeous until he opens his mouth and says something atrocious. But still, you can’t help crushing on him though because he’s so damn fine.
7. That Gym Bro
Anthony Joshua flexing biceps (via Giphy)
He’s not one of those fitness mansplainers. He’s polite, shy, and has amazing biceps. You picture the both of you together at the gym, of course, doing one of those cringey, PDA-infused workouts. You occasionally make some small talk, but you’ll never forget that time your fingers brushed while reaching for dumbbells.
8. World traveler passing through your home town
Crowd parting to reveal a rugged Indian Jones (via Giphy)
He’s been everywhere and he’s got the passport stamps to prove it. His stories are unbelievable, like the one where he saved an orphan on the way to his then girlfriend’s grandmother’s funeral and later that day ended up at a rave in a neighboring country. There’s no telling how long he’ll stay or if you’ll ever see him again. Part of you secretly hopes he’ll whisk you off your feet and into an overseas adventure filled with romance.
9. Woman Crush Wednesday
Rihanna hair flipping (via Giphy)
This lady has her life together. You want to be with her and be her at the same time. Maybe if you spend enough time together, her personality will rub off on you, and you could rub off on her too.
10. The Hidden Gem
Hugh Grant saying”that’s umm.. perfect” (via Giphy)
Sometimes it’s not the loudest or most beautiful people who catch your attention. It’s the shy guy who you suddenly get lost in conversation with at a bookstore or art show. You like the way they think and their humble, dignified nature. They’re interesting and deep and there’s so much there for you to explore.
There are so many other kinds of crushes you will run into at this exciting time of your life. Whether you choose to go after them or stay at a safe distance is your choice. Sometimes you can’t help but delve deeper and get to know someone. Be careful who you choose to get to close to, it might turn into so much more.
[Image Description: A woman pouring a cocktail at a bar.] Via Unsplash
Over the past three years of working as a bartender, I’ve heard more than my fair share of inappropriate comments. Some comments, however, are more common than others. So I’ve rounded up a list of the top ten worst things I’ve experienced on a fairly regular basis.
1. “How about a smile there?”
[Image Description: A woman fake smiling.] Via GiphyAsking anyone to smile for you is unacceptable. But you can’t possibly expect me to work an eight-hour shift and continuously smile at every customer. Plus, it’s always men telling me to smile at the end of the shift when I’m at my crankiest. Take the hint guys, I just want to close up.
2. “Come here, hun.”
[Image Description: A woman pretending to puke.] Via GiphyI’m not hun, sweetie, babyface or any other creepy or derogatory nickname you make up for me. So please stop.
3. “A beer please”
[Image Description: Obama making a confused expression as he lifts his hand.] Via GiphyErm, there are 10 different beers behind the bar. Could you be a little more specific? K thanks.
4. “What do you earn per hour? I’ll pay you to stay open later.”
[Image Description: Beyonce singing the words “no, no, no.”] Via GiphyFirst, that’s illegal. And second, no, I straight up don’t want to.
5. “I’m on their tab”
*Gestures arms somewhere*
[Image Description: A woman lifts her arms to ask “where?”] Via GiphyThey’d buy you a drink if they wanted to pay for you. And I don’t want to be blamed when this person looks at their hefty bill because of you.
6. *Waves money in your face wordlessly*
[Image Description: A blonde woman laughs and says “wow.”] Via GiphyWow, I’m so impressed that you have real money. I’ll serve you instantly from now on.
7. “Here’s some cash. Can you split the rest of the bill between five different credit cards?”
[Image Description: The camera zooms into a Justin Timberlake’s annoyed face.] Via GiphyIf this is you, PLEASE STOP. Why not run separate tabs? Do you know how difficult you’re making your bartender’s life when you run one tab with a group of friends that has to be split at the end?
8. “So, where’s your boyfriend?”
[Image Description: A woman rolls her eyes.] Via GiphyThis has zero to do with you or my bartending job.
9. “Put some music on.”
[Image Description: A woman puts her fingers on her temples in frustration.] Via GiphyThis is often screamed across the bar. I am a bartender, not a DJ. I’d also be far more cooperative if customers asked me nicely or added a ‘please.’
10. “When can I see you on the other side of the bar?”
[Image Description: A dark haired woman shakes her head to say “no.”] Via GiphyNever. And if I am on the other side of the bar, please don’t approach me.
Overall though, I am super thankful for the extra cash I’ve gotten from bartending, despite having my patience tested by customers.
[Image description: Four young adults are standing outside chatting. There is one black-haired boy in a baseball tee, a brown-haired girl in a yellow shirt, and two blonde girls whose backs are shown.] Via Alexis Brown on Unsplash
Unemployment is tough. You’re already juggling between salvaging your haemorrhaging savings and the stress of finding new work. The last thing you want to deal with, then, is well-meaning people bent on discussing your lack of work in depth. Bless them, really, but when you’re unemployed, you’ll find that every person and their Aunt have some words to share.
Here are 9 conversations you’re sure to find yourself in when you’re in between jobs:
1. What do you do all day?
[Image description: A cartoon teal cat with a large red nose is sitting at a table. It drinks from a juice box and is using a desktop computer.] Via TenorNaked truth? I sit in my pajamas, munching on my go-to chocolate cereal and read, or I’m watching Netflix. Also, I’m waiting to be pleasantly surprised by a call or email asking me to come in for an interview.
What I’ll say instead – “Oh you know, hunting for jobs online, applying, honing my skills. You know what they say, being unemployed and looking for a job is a job itself, haha!”
2. Are you sure you’re trying hard enough?
[Image description: A brown-haired boy in a red hoodie is speaking to a brown-haired girl in a green hoodie. He says “I try really hard actually.”] Via TenorWhat does that mean? Am I supposed to be chained 24/7 to my laptop applying incessantly? Am I to knock on doors, harass employers until I land a job or a get escorted out by security? This question really rubs me the wrong way as it implies assumed laziness.
3. How long have you been searching?
[Image description: A brown-haired man in a red checked shirt throws his head back in exaggerated exasperation as he rolls his eyes.] Via GIPHYWhen you’re fresh out of work, this question seems harmless. Give it a few months and then it seems like an opening to be judged. Is there a point to knowing how long? Do I unlock badges for crossing period milestones?
4. Where have you applied?
[Image description: Two men are seated across from each other on white armchairs. The one on the left is in a black suit and has short brown hair, while the other is in a gray suit and also has brown hair. The man on the left unfurls a long scroll which opens onto the ground, unrolling comically.] Via GIPHYSuffice to say, unemployed people generally don’t carry a laundry list of every place they’ve applied to.
5. So-and-so just landed a job at so-and-so. You should apply there!
[Image description: A brown-haired, bearded man in a white tee blows a kiss while smiling widely.] Via GIPHYBless the people who think of others, really. Though it rarely ever pans out unless a person is totally in tune to the opportunity or work you’re looking for, but this level of consideration is definitely to be encouraged.
6. Have you thought about going back to school?
[Image description: A black man in glasses and a green sweater holds a large roll of paper. Nervously, he says “I have what doctors call ‘directional insanity’. I once got lost on an escalator.”] Via semi-hiatus on galgadot.blogcrib.comI always wondered why this is a valid suggestion. I’m clearly looking for a job so 1) how will I afford higher education? 2) why go back to school when we know on-the-job learning surpasses book learning?
“People think you lack direction,” is the nugget of wisdom my sister dropped on me when I voiced my musing aloud. I can’t speak for others but, personally, school always messed up my compass.
7. Maybe look into switching careers… ?
[Image description: An older white man with salt-and-pepper hair presses his fingers into his eyes, shaking his head, as his elbows rest on a table. He’s wearing a charcoal black shirt.] Via GIPHYThis is specific to certain career choices – journalism, for instance, and more specifically, writing. It’s hardly seen as a sustainable path and I’ve often been told to either join the family business or look into picking up another degree and starting afresh. A bit insensitive of a suggestion, tbh.
8. Are you being too picky?
[Image description: A brown-skinned woman with long, black hair firmly says “I am not picky. I just have standards.”] Via TenorIf you can afford to, then yes, be picky. After leaving a less than desirable position, I’m in no rush to land myself in another cesspool. Thank you very much.
9. Do you know why you’re not being hired?
[Image description: A cartoon clip shows two dark-haired children – a boy and a girl – saying “I wish, I wish” as a green energy begins to form next to them.] Via TenorI wish! We all wish! Knowing why you were rejected for a specific position can do wonders as it might expose an area where you need improvement. This would be a huge help down the line when applying for other positions.
It’s best to keep in mind that people often don’t strike such conversations out of malicious intent. Often, they’re either genuinely interested in helping you out of your unemployed status, or they’re just making small talk. It’s up to you on how to respond. You can either be honest or just throw out a non sequitur and barrel ahead – whichever works!
[Image Description: Woman wears sunglasses in bridal wear.] via Pexels
Yikes, it’s not a nightmare. Wake up and look in the mirror.
Trust no aunty? Girllll, you’re officially the aunty.
1. You secretly watch Desi dramas and serials.
[Image description: Indian woman wearing traditional Indian attire and jewelry looking shocked expression. Her face is zoomed in with dramatic camera flash.] via Giphy
The days of making fun of those dreaded Desi dramas is over. Your guilty pleasure is watching South Asian TV serials, zoomed in dramatic faces and all. When someone catches you, blame it on your mom. Yeah, she definitely forced you.
2. You want to play matchmaker for all your friends.
[Image description: Indian woman with an uncomfortable look on her face turning her head. The caption underneath depicts someone saying “Don’t worry, we will find a good boy for you.] via Giphy
At one point in time, you avoided the rishta aunties that had nothing to do but sat “you’re next” at gatherings… but now YOU ARE ONE. You just can’t wait to see all your friends get married.
It doesn’t matter if you’re married or have a significant other, but you need to find them someone so you can attend some festive events.
3. You have begun partaking in community gossip.
[Image description: Woman wearing a black T-shirt standing in front of a bar saying the word drama slowly to emphasize the word. Image has the word drama appear in all capital letters as she says it.] via Giphy
You know, the same gossip you hated to hear when your mom brought it up. It now fuels you. You low-key love hearing about the community gossip, especially when you’re not involved.
4. You make everything a big deal.
[Image description: Woman in traditional Indian attire covering her ears with her hands. Her eyes are closed and she is shaking her head crying, “nahi” which means “no” in Hindi.] via Giphy
Cue the Bollywood music, you are about to put on a show. Did that really happen? Nooooooo, it couldn’t have.
5. You love yelling for no reason.
[Image description: A little girl wearing a pink headband is saying, “why is she shouting?” She is squinting her eyes and holding her ear. There is a little boy in the background looking at her.] via GiphyRemember the days you would complain that all your parents do is yell? Well, little children now complain about you. Why are you yelling on that Facetime call- they can hear you fine. Your voice is getting louder each day and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
6. You can’t keep up with the latest slang…
[Image description: An older woman in pink traditional clothes is asking a younger woman ‘What are you saying’. She speaks as she is gesturing her hands while the other woman moves her head in confusion. ] via Giphy
Times have changed. You used to think you were so cool when you’d say things like “lit”, “YOLO”, “slay” and “bye Felicia.” The days when you knew and understood current slang is over. You used to explain what “LOL” meant to your family, now you barely know what “GOAT” means.
7. …but you say things like…
[Image description: Indian actress and singer Madhuri Dixit, with mid-length brown hair curled, sits on a sofa in a pink sari batting her eyelashes while saying “oh ho.” ] via Giphy
You find yourself incorporating Desi terminology into English sentences when speaking to your Desi friends. You may not even remember the English word for something, but know the perfect Desi one to use. You find yourself saying things like “oh ho,” “hain,” and “oof” often.
8. You find yourself disagreeing with Generation Z and, later, maybe even lecturing them.
[Image description: Indian woman with hand on her ear and moving around like she is dizzy. ] via Giphy
Kids these days… You can’t believe what the younger generations are doing. Eating Tide pods as a challenge? Remember when your parents would start a story with, “when I was your age?” Well now, you’re in that boat. You might find yourself lecturing younger family members or friends on things you did when you were their age.
9. Suddenly, you’ve developed a taste for chai.
[Image description: Milk being poured into a cup of tea. ] via Giphy
When you were younger, you didn’t quite get the obsession your parents had with tea. Suddenly, you’ve developed a taste for it. It begins slow with a sip or two not tasting so bad, then gradually increases to you making a habit of having a daily cup of warm chai.
10. You have a bedtime and physically can’t stay up past it.
[Image description: Animated woman in green dress collapsing onto a bed in her sleep.] via Giphy
The days you could pull all-nighters and stay up all night are gone. You have secretly given yourself a bedtime. You’d rather be cozy in bed and get a good amount of sleep than stay out all night partying.
11. You say the same things your mom used to say to you.
[Image description: Two Indian women, one elder and one younger move their hands up and down looking irritated.] via Giphy
You have begun saying the same things your mom used to say to you. You catch yourself often sounding just like her when talking to your younger siblings or cousins.
12. You’ve started judging people’s clothes at weddings.
[Image description: An older Indian woman in a red sari with gray hair points her index finger while saying something.] via Giphy
You never thought you’d do this but you find yourself judging people’s clothes at weddings. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a negative thing, you could be admiring them. But overall, going to a wedding can mean checking out outfits for you to pick apart to design the perfect addition for your own wardrobe.
You begin finding inspiration for your own closet by mixing and matching other people’s outfits in your head.
13. You find yourself cleaning…for fun.
[Image description: A woman wearing a red striped shirt, jeans, and headphones dances as she sweeps and dusts the living room. Her hair, tied in a ponytail, falls over the front of her face as she cleans] via Giphy
You no longer dread cleaning. Sometimes you like to just take a day to clean up the house and make it look presentable. You may even find yourself complaining, no one helps you clean, but the real question is do you even let them? You’re beginning to like cleaning and think you do it best.
14. To your surprise, you actually love daal.
[Image description: A hand is sprinkling coriander over yellow lentil curry in a gray bowl. Other spices are depicted in the back of the image.] via Giphy
When you were younger, it was the worst day ever when your mom decided to cook daal instead of biryani for dinner. But now, it’s not so bad. Easy to cook and kinda yummy, you find yourself liking daal and other vegetable dishes you hated as a kid.
15. Finally, your rotis are round.
[Image description: A spatula is used to press on a roti (wheat flour flatbread) while it is cooking on a stove. The roti expands and fills with air as it cooks. ] via Giphy
When that annoying aunty asks you if you can make round rotis, you can now answer yes. You have mastered the round and fluff roti. You take pride in it. You own it, not only does it look great, but you know it tastes good.
16. And you love feeding people.
[Image description: An Indian woman pats down flour in a measuring cup attempting to follow a recipe.] via Giphy
You find yourself taking on the characteristics of your parents. The tradition of them wanting to feed all your friends to food coma continues with you. You love feeding people when they come over, whether it’s home cooked or take out you don’t let anyone leave hungry.
17. You’d rather talk on the phone than text.
[Image description: Indian woman with glasses holds a phone and shakes her head in disapproval. ] via Giphy
You prefer to call friends on the phone over texting. It seems easier to share stories verbally than text. When something big happens it makes more sense to you to call your friends for a quicker reaction than text and wait. Why send a long text message when you can pick up the phone and call?
18. Your form of exercise is walking around the neighborhood.
[Image description: Four older women exercising by swinging their arms as they power-walk on the sidewalk. ] via Giphy
You thought it was cute seeing those Desi aunties power-walk around the neighborhood swinging their arms in a sari. Now, you’re one of them. Whether it’s accompanying your mom, aunt or grandmother on a walk or going alone, you have joined the neighborhood aunty walking club.
19. You’ve started threatening annoying kids with a chappal.
[Image description: Four different women’s feet with varying colored sandals being taken off. ] via Giphy
The scariest moment of your childhood was when your mom threatened to hit you with a chappal (slip-on sandal). You promised yourself you’d never do that to your own kids or anyone else. But now, you find yourself unintentionally using the same threats.
Your little brother bothering you? Your first instinct is to threaten to hit him with YOUR chappal.
20. Your dance moves have gotten, um, “better.”
[Image description: An Indian woman wearing a pink sari dancing enthusiastically on a beach. ] via Giphy
You used to be shy to hit the dance floor during weddings or other functions. Whether it was because you didn’t have dance moves or cared what the aunties would say about you, you just didn’t feel like dancing. As you’ve gotten older that care is out the window. Your dance moves have gotten better and even if they haven’t, you don’t care, you’re gonna be the first one on the floor for all the aunties to stare.
Move over and make some noise, the Desi girl is coming through.
P.S. Being an aunty doesn’t have to be a bad thing!
[Image description: An Indian woman wearing traditional clothing while smiling and dancing Bhangra with Indian men dancing behind her. The words “Party Time” are printed on the center bottom of the image. ] via Giphy
Embrace the change. Party it up.
As much as you may hate on the awful aunties in your community and on yourself for becoming an aunty, you know it was inevitable. Let’s face it. You low-key know you wouldn’t want it any other way.
The aunties in your community made you who you are today. Who says you need to be one of the awful ones? Change the stereotype of the hating aunties and get yourself a woke squad. Be a proud, woke, feminist, bamf aunty that younger girls will look up to.
Let’s change the typical aunty from a judgmental woman you want to avoid to a woman you want to have as part of your life.
[Image description: Woman dressed in bridal clothes stares at the camera.] Photo by Aa Dil on Unsplash
1. You’re constantly dealing with prying relatives.
[Image description: A boy wearing a red sweatshirt is getting out of a car and looking at a large group of people waiting for him, a lot of them holding cameras and phones.] Via Giphy
It doesn’t matter that you haven’t met these people for years or maybe never at all, they fully believe they have every right to ask you the most personal questions and be all up in your business from the minute they see you.
2. Your parents go through a whole personality change.
[Image description: A woman in a white turtleneck with a bob haircut looks concerned as she says “Look, doc, I really don’t understand how her whole personality could change.”] Via Giphy
The same parents of yours who will only want to eat one particular brand of cheese or refuse to drink coffee if it’s not from their favourite brand at home, will suddenly call you out on your preferences as “having airs” and being “high-minded” to show their relatives how down-to-earth they still are while the kids have been spoiled.
3. It’s unorganized. Deal with it.
[Image description: A busy street intersection with no streetlights or signs has a large number of cars going in every direction haphazardly.] Via Giphy
You actually thought people stood in lines? Or stopped at red lights? Where do you think you are?
4. You learn to love street food again.
[Image description: A black blob-like creature with a white face mask is exclaiming “I want to eat everything!” in front of a large feast of delicious looking food] Via Giphy
The cornucopia of delicious street food that you won’t find anywhere else in the world is enough to turn anyone into a foodie.
5. You have to get used to the environment – fast.
[Image description: A shaky camera view of a street at night with a lot of chaos and people running around] Via Giphy
There’s going to be a lot of noise, a whole lot of pollution and tons of mess and inconveniences. Things locals don’t even notice, and if you’re there long enough, you won’t either.
6. The blackouts.
[Image description: A woman in hospital scrubs says “You got to be kidding me!” as the lights go off in the hospital room and then a city wide view of a blackout hitting the entire city.] Via Giphy
There’s going to be rolling blackouts, usually several times a day and for quite a few hours. It’s pretty much the way of life there. Nothing you can do about it.
7. Political correctness is not a thing.
[Image description: A man in a suit standing in front of a mic proudly says “I’m not politically correct.” and laughs] Via Giphy
You know that thing about not being racist or sexist or prejudiced? Yeah, that doesn’t exist. You’ll often find people making judgemental statements without batting an eye. They might even get offended if you tell them it’s wrong.
8. You have to meet relatives you didn’t even know existed.
[Image description: A man yells and throws up his hands as he gets knocked down by a large group of people running toward him] Via Giphy
They’re going to be coming from everywhere. The distant cousins, the aunts and uncles, the relatives of relatives. And you’ll have meet and greets with all of them.
9. You have to deal with complete strangers the same way you would with family.
[Image description: A young boy in a blue T-shirt turns back while leaving and says “Wait a minute, who are you?”] Via Giphy
You mean you don’t remember your dad’s second cousin’s neighbor aunty? She took care of you all the time when you were 3 months old!
10. Your marriage or lack thereof is open to discussion by ANYONE.
[Image description: A woman wearing a black dress is saying “Find you some business of your own.”] Via Giphy
People you haven’t seen for years will have no qualms about asking you right out why you aren’t married, when you’re getting married, why don’t you have kids, or want more kids than you have already.
11. Your every move is going to be observed.
[Image description: Two women are looking very closely at something while one eats a sandwich and holds a plate while the other puts on her glasses for a better look.] Via Giphy
People are going to be watching you like hawks, waiting for the first thing they can criticize or make a point about.
12. You’re expected to pay for everything.
[Image description: A man in a business suit is exclaiming “I declare bankruptcy!”] Via Giphy
You’re automatically expected to pick up the check wherever you go. After all, you’re the one who brought your fancy ass back from abroad.
13. You’re resented by your relatives for being different, while also held as an example for their kids.
[Image description: A woman in a black and red dress and hoop earrings looks away appearing very confused.] Via Giphy
They don’t like the fact that you are different. Then other times they’re telling their kids to be more like you. It can be very confusing and not always logical.
14. You don’t want to see the “posh” places everyone wants to show you.
[Image description: A woman in an off white top and bikini bottoms spins and smiles and walks happily on the beach.] Via Giphy
Your relatives are going to try to show you the fancy restaurants and hangouts, and you really won’t care because you’ve seen a hundred of those where you came from. Show me the dhabas, the roadside restaurants that serve the best niharis, and the open beaches.
That’s the stuff I’m interested in.
15. Pushy salesmen.
[image description : A woman in a blue dress is saying devastatingly “For god’s sake, go away! leave me alone] via giphyPeople who try to sell you stuff in the streets won’t easily take no for an answer, and will actually follow you down the road to get you to buy something.
16. You get offered more food than any human can consume.
[Image description: A woman sitting at a dining table is tasting whatever she can as a lot of food dances past her.] Via Giphy
The hundred relatives you have to visit will offer you so much food, with so much enthusiasm, that even though it’s not humanly possible for anyone to eat that much, you’ll feel guilty about turning it down.
17. You learn weird and funny things about your parents’ past.
[Image description: A man in a blue shirt holds up a picture of the man opposite him in a goatee and says “This goatee.” and the man in front of him in a white shirt responds “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I look like my own evil twin.”] Via Giphy
You’re going to hear the strangest stories about your parents from relatives, like the time your dad snuck out of the house to watch a movie when he should have been studying, or the time your mom glued flowers to her hair and then couldn’t get them off.
18. If you follow all the rules, you’re too naïve (read: stupid).
[Image description: A woman wearing a black sleeveless dress says “Are you really so naive? Do you really think that things just work out for the best?”] Via Giphy
Nobody has ‘high-minded ideas’ like insisting you should be on time for things or queueing in line and waiting for your turn.
19. Your fluency in your native language or your general knowledge about your country are treated like academic achievements.
[Image description: A huge crowd of people sitting at church pews applaud emphatically] Via Giphy
There’s this belief that kids who’ve lived abroad are:
1. Always bad at their native language,
2. And have very little knowledge of their home country.
So, if you show the least bit of aptitude in either one people are going to be surprised and treat you like you’ve won some secret contest.
20. The hugs are coming, and you can’t escape.
[Image description: A bunch of people is all joining in on a group hug.] Via Giphy
Personal space is not a thing. People are going to hug you, it doesn’t matter if you like it or not, you’re being hugged. Otherwise you might seriously offend them or even cause an argument. Just grin and bear it.
21. The meninists. All of the meninists.
[Image description: An image of a woman wearing a dress and yelling is brought closer to reveal she is holding a sign that says “I can’t believe I’m still protesting this shit.”] Via Giphy
You’re going to have to deal with men, even if they’re only 16, mansplaining the simplest things to you or expecting you to not be able to handle yourself because you’re female.
The worst part is that not all meninists are going to be men. Some women are just as emphatic about being anti-feminist.
22. Even very young kids will have full-blown political opinions.
[Image description: A group of three children is sitting around a table looking concerned while the girl in between says “Now, my plan is to divide up into three research teams. We will present our argument based on -“] Via Giphy
You might overhear a conversation among very young kids, and it will be an all-out, highly opinionated, and heated debate about some political issue.
23. Everything is inexpensive. Everything.
[Image description: A woman in a red dress comes into a room holding a lot of shopping bags in both hands.] Via Giphy
The discounts and prices you will find things at will amaze and delight you.
24. The mangoes.
[Image description: Three lines of mangoes keep scrolling while between them you see the words “Fresh Jams” and “Good Vibes” alternately] Via Giphy
The only explanation possible for them is that beams of sunshine and rainbows got together to make the heavenly fruit that are the mangoes of Pakistan.
25. Everyone speaks a language that you understand.
[Image description: A man wearing a suit looks very pleased as he says “You get me” to a guy in front of him] Via Giphy
There’s something very comforting that there is no language barrier. This entire populace speaks a language you know and is yours.
[Image description: A large building with black mirrored windows, alongside a scenic blue riverbank. In North West England.] Via Marcus Cramer on Unsplash
1. Learn what a ‘tactical chunder’ is.
[Image description: A cartoon garden gnome, vomiting a rainbow whilst leaning against a tree. The rainbow ends in a metallic pink when it hits the floor] Via Giphy.
A ‘tactical chunder.’ A wonderful occurrence when you have to tactically vomit out your insides on a night out. In order to be able to continue with your evening successfully. Thank me later for the image I just put in your head.
2. Learn about the Southern/Northern divide.
[Image description: A brown-skinned man giving a side eye to a light-skinned man who looks back in confusion] Via Giphy.
Everyone loves a little healthy competition, but this is not that. People from both regions argue that their region (or city) rules the country. With everyone agreeing that Birmingham is, in fact, the inferior of all cities in the UK. Although, there must only be one victorious side. So pick one.
3. The people are much more polite up north.
[Image description: A woman with dark brown skin, walking with a brown-skinned man. Caption reads, ‘I don’t trust polite people, stupid’.] Via Giphy.
Whilst people down south are too busy barging you out the way on public transport and avoiding eye contact, up north, it’s much different. People start conversations at random and are generally warmer. Maybe it’s because they’re not stuck in a crowded city fighting people for a space on the tube during rush hour.
4. The lovely multicultural cities.
[Image description: Yellow cartoon figure throwing her hands up and exclaiming ‘and multiculture’. Surrounded by 7 other yellow figures.’] Via Giphy.
The North is full of vibrant cities such as Manchester, Liverpool, and Leeds. each with their own gems to offer. Like many of the cities down South, they are vibrant and multicultural with an abundance of different people to be around. Be sure to have a look around and immerse yourself like you would any other new city.
5. They Love Irn Bru.
[Image description: Light skinned, Caucasian man with oval-shaped glasses sipping a can labeled ‘IRN BRU xtra’. Looking satisfied and saying ‘unbelievable’.] Via Giphy.
I thought it was a Scottish thing. It obviously isn’t. They love the stuff. Not too sure why it’s so addictive but it is. It’s definitely an acquired taste though.
6. There are somany accents.
[Image description: A light-skinned woman with blonde hair, wearing a black long sleeved shirt saying, ‘seems a little stereotypical’.] Via Giphy.
There are so many people up North who come from a range of cities and places. With that, they come with different dialects that bring different accents. The strong, thick accents are the hardest to understand.
Sorry, not sorry.
I just nod along if I don’t understand what they’re saying. Just to be polite, otherwise, I’ll be constantly asking them to repeat themselves.
7. Everyone thinks you’re posh when you really aren’t.
[Image description: A light-skinned woman posing for a photograph whilst sitting on a brown chair. She’s holding her hair and pushing it back with one arm.] Via Giphy.
I mean I don’t know why, but people seem to think you’re posh when you speak. I don’t even enunciate, I guess its just a different accent. Who knows.
It’s a confusing world.
8. There are some interesting sayings that will definitely intrigue you further.
[Image description: An animation featuring a brown skinned young girl, hitting a larger brown-skinned man with a rowing paddle in the groin. He appears to clutch his groin afterward.] Via Giphy.
I mean there are lots of interesting sayings no matter where you go. But having someone say, ‘I’ll twat ya’, and not knowing the meaning is more confusing than anything. I later found out it means ‘I’ll hit you’. Charming.
9. You can actually use your car to get around, but you might want to jump on a tram instead.
[Image description: a red sports car performing a hand break turn on a quiet country road.] Via Giphy.
I don’t think anyone should be performing hand break turns unless they are professional race car drivers or stuntmen. However, it might be easier using your car up North. There is no congestion charge after all, but there also isn’t an underground tube. Using a tram may be the most convenient way of travel.
But the buses and trains are usually always late.
10. The water tastes much different.
[Image description: A glass of water on a black wooden surface, shaking slightly, with the water sitting at an angle.] Via Giphy.
The water up North is much different. You might notice an effect on your skin and hair too. The water is fresher, with much of it coming from the Lake District. However, the taste might take some getting used to. Scientifically speaking, the water up North is much softer than the hard water that is down South.
11. The nightlife is great.
[Image description: Two caucasian women throwing their hands up and dancing in a busy nightclub. One is wearing a red halter neck dress whereas the other is wearing a vest top.] Via Giphy.
The bars and nightclubs in the bigger cities are great. I’d definitely recommend heading into Manchester, Liverpool, and Leeds to get a real sense of Northern nightlife.
12. The Manchester Christmas markets are worth a visit.
Image description: An busy street, filled with people and shops. There are lit up, Christmas lights adorning the white, rustic building’s side to side. ] Via Giphy.
Christmas markets are just great in general. The markets up North have a different kind of flare. With bratwurst sausages and hot chocolate galore, your stomach will definitely be happy. As well as jewelry, mantlepieces and other wonderful trinkets, it’s the perfect place for a cold, Christmassy evening.
13. They LOVE gravy.
[Image description: A brown roasted chicken dancing while having gravy poured on it. The caption reads, ‘I love gravy’.] Via Giphy.
People down South usually put a small amount of gravy on their roast dinner every Sunday, but up North, they’re much different. They pour that gravy like it’s water. Not in a bad way. Everyone loves gravy on their pies, chips, mash and anything savory.
14. Chip Buttys.
[Image description: A Mcdonald’s fry holder with fries inside. The holder is red and glittery.] Via Giphy.
So chips (fries) are great on their own but when you put them into a bread roll, it is a masterpiece. These aren’t the thin fries but the thick ones with salt and vinegar on top. I can’t describe the taste, but it’s worth a try. Carbs upon carbs are never a bad thing.
15. The highly disputed bread roll.
[Image description: A white bread roll on a dark brown wooden board, being patted down by a caucasian colored hand.] Via Giphy.
Now we all know what a bread roll is. But this bread roll argument has been going on for the longest time. People up North call it a butty, tea cakes, and other names. Who knows the truth? In all honesty, bread roll makes the most sense, but if you challenge a Northerner on that, they might ‘twat’ you.
16. You find yourself watching Coronation Street.
[Image description: A yellow square cartoon figure, holding a bowl of popcorn watching tv in his home underwater. ] Via Giphy.
I mean Coronation Street is filmed in the North and there are a lot of people who enjoy the evening shows on the BBC and ITV. Like Eastenders, it’s a soap opera that is probably too dramatic but hard not to watch.
Obviously, you can’t catch up with every episode but it’ll probably be easy to catch up with some storylines.
17. Oasis and The Beatles.
[Image description: A Caucasian woman, leaning against a fence outside. The caption reads ‘You know my dad actually wrote the song ”Wonderwall.”.] Via Giphy.
Some of the biggest bands to exist in history originated from the North of England, so you’ll always find yourself running into dedicated statues and memorabilia scattered across Liverpool and Manchester.
18. The countryside is lovely, so be sure to check it out
[Image description: A small rabbit, jumping up and fly kicking a goat in the face. There are two cows in the background with the scene being set on grass, next to a pond in the countryside.] Via Giphy.
The Lake District, Yorkshire Dales and National parks are wonderful places to see. You can go hiking, exploring or just go for a walk. With miles of picturesque scenery, you’ll never be bored.
19. It is much colder up north
[Image description: A ginger and a white cat, both sitting in a pink, polka-dotted blanket. Via Giphy]
This is probably a much more known fact but the weather is definitely harsher the further up north you go. You will need more layers and be prepared for the constant rain and dropping temperatures.
20. And you’ll never go bankrupt paying rent.
[Image description: Via Giphy]
The average UK rental value outside of London in March 2015 was just over £730 per month. In London, it was almost double that – £1,443 per month.
[Image description: A portrait shot of a black man standing in front of two neon signs - one is hot pink, the other is blue. The dark-haired man is wearing futuristic sunglasses which appear to be a wrap-around strip of black metal.] Via Alex Iby on Unsplash
The future is here and it isn’t even technologically close to what we imagined it to be.
Sure, we have smartphones, smartwatches, rockets, and drones, but where is the fully-automated future we were promised as children? Where is the tech Back to the Future, Men in Black, The Jetsons, and so many other fictitious, sci-fi media, alluringly painted for us? The flying cars, the ray guns, and the jet boots?
The wonderful tales of tech spun for us in the past have left us wanting, and wanting bad. Here are 17 pieces of tech we deserve… but perhaps don’t necessarily need right now in case things turn out like Black Mirror.
1. Wireless everything
[Image description: In an animated clip, an over-plugged wall socket begins to spark.] Via Tenor
Yes, there are plenty of wireless devices on the market, but they sport a pretty hefty price tag. I’d also like to not carry a million chargers when I’m out running about, or be confined to a wall socket. Which brings me to…
2. Long-lasting batteries
[Image description: In an animated clip, a fully-charged phone walks into view but its battery begins to deplete as it moves. It then dies on screen.] Via Tenor
When was the last time you went longer than 10 hours without having to charge your mobile? Somewhere out there is a 1991 Nokia GSM mobile with barely a bar down on its charge. I need a marriage between that battery and my iPhone, stat.
3. Multi-function devices
[Image description: A white cartoon man in a gray-white trenchcoat and bowler hat falls off the side of a building. His hat then springs open propellers, and he flies away.] Via GIPHY
I’m talking a laptop with a built-in printer and scanner. A shower which also dries. Let’s go all TheJetsons – sit in a chair and have the house dress us.
4. Invisibility
[Image description: A trenchcoat, bowler hat, sunglasses, and white gloves ensemble seemingly floats in the air, outlining the shape of an invisible man who shrugs in an IDK gesture.] Via Tenor
Forget the Invisibility Cloak, I’m referring to H.G. Wells’ 19th-century The Invisible Man. The main character, Griffin the scientist, changed his body’s refractive index to that of air so that it neither absorbed nor reflected light – thus, invisible! I’d hate to think of the nasty repercussions but a simpleton like me simply wants to render herself invisible when her Mom comes looking for someone to wash the dishes.
5. Smart clothes
[Image description: A white woman in a blonde ponytail exasperatedly asks “Where are all my good clothes?” She is standing in a bedroom, in front of a full closet.] Via Tenor
If we can low-key computerize our watches, then why not clothes? There are already e-textiles in the making which feature low tech attached to clothing. What we’re waiting for our clothes which alter temperature according to the outside environment, clothes which monitor the inner workings of your body – there’s so much.
6. Jetpacks, jet boots, jet anything
[Image description: An animated clip shows a faceless, white character with blond hair step into view and then take flight with his jetpack.] Via GIPHY
Who among us doesn’t want to throw on some clear visors, strap on a helmet and then fly off to work? Let the streets belong to the pedestrians once more! I want to see headlines ranting about the rising prices of jetpack fuel instead of car fuel.
7. Hypertravel
[Image description: An animation clip shows the first-person point of view of traveling faster than light. The lights show up in streaks of white and red.] Via GIPHY
14-hour flights? Can we do 14 minutes instead?
8. Lightsaber
[Image description: A brown-haired, white man is seated and purses his lips while raising his open, right hand in front of his face. A lightsaber then pops into the air, which he grabs, smiling.] Via GIPHY
Zero need, 100 percent want.
9. Scouters from Dragon Ball Z
[Image description: A cartoon clip shows a close-up of a fair-skinned male character, wearing a red lens piece in front of his left eye. Yellow symbols flash on the lens.] Via Tenor
The world is a scary place sometimes so having the ability to check out a person’s stats can come in pretty handy.
10. Wrist computer
[Image description: A dark-haired boy wearing an eye mask is speaking while searching for something on a holographic screen/keyboard atop his left wrist.] Via Tumblr
An elevated version of a smartwatch, a strapped-in, holographic version of a computer. My right shoulder thanks anything which takes away the weight of carrying around my laptop.
11. Exoskeletons
[Image description: A dark-haired man pulls a sword off his back. He is wearing robotic armor. Lights are flashing behind him.] Via GIFER
Let’s pretend that these won’t immediately be used in warfare and think of how great it will be in terms of emergency services, healthcare, and medical advancements. Preferably a suit which doesn’t need to be drilled in though. I’d rather hang it up on a coat rack at the end of the day.
12. Neuralyzers
[Image description: A dark-haired black man in a black suit and sunglasses holds up a flashing device and says “Hey, don’t even worry about it.”] Via GIPHY
Would I like to forget the time I peed in an elevator? Yes! Would I also use it on the person who, unfortunately, was with me in the elevator at that time? Yes! And perhaps also on every person who just read this bit of personal information about me…
13. Instant learning
[Image description: A dark-haired white man is lying back in a chair. He gasps, staring ahead wide-eyed as pages of information flash before him on a holographic screen.] Via Gfycat
Learning anything in a matter of seconds trumps learning over many arduous years.
14. Rehydratable food packets
[Image description: A dark, curly-haired young girl in a red blazer picks up and places a small packet into a microwave-look-alike Rehydrator machine. She presses a button and a burger appears.] Via GIPHY
I enjoy a slow roast as much as the next person but there’s no denying the allure of instant food. Imagine how much we can accomplish (read: watch more Netflix) by not losing time to cooking?
15. Underwater Atlantis
[Image description: A sea ship travels underwater, passing through a futuristic underwater colony.] Via Tenor
Jules Verne also made big waves in the realm of science fiction in the 19th-century. Explain to me how we’re beginning to travel through space but don’t have a futuristic underwater Atlantis yet?
16. Futurama’s What-if Machine
[Image description: A blond, white man sits on a red massage chair. In his hand is a paper. He gestures in confusion and says “I’ll never know enough to make an informed decision.”] Via GIPHY
Knowing what could potentially happen would really reduce stress levels globally.
17. Travel in time and space
[Image description: A young, dark-haired white man stands among futuristic tech. He is dressed in a red bowtie and a tweed jacket. Looking above him, he says “All of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will, where do you want to start?”] Via GIPHY
Without breaking the world and/or causing World War III, please. I’d be fine with letting the Doctors of the world handle the itinerary and just enjoy the ride.
So, what are the chances of any of these tech pieces ever coming into existence? I’d say pretty high because the human race is innovative AF and a few of these are already in their beginning stages. The sad part is that they just may be outside of our lifetime’s reach, but a girl can dream.
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