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Tips & Tricks Editor's Picks Life

I used to be a procrastinator before I remembered my 5 senses

You check the time on your laptop. An hour until midnight. An hour to finish that final essay of the semester, add annotations, and submit it to your professor. I have time to scroll through Instagram, you think. It’s not going to kill me.

But the next time your eyes flicker to the time, 45 minutes have passed. There are only 15 minutes to submit the paper. Instagram is to blame, you tell yourself, but deep down you know the truth. You’re a master procrastinator and you always have been. You’ve put yourself in this situation before, but did you learn anything? 

Yes, you have, because you’re reading this article, and you’ve come to the right place. 

Influencers will tell you the key to getting things done and overcoming the urge to procrastinate is to just do it. But it’s really about self-care and cultivating an environment that makes you power through your to-do list. And how do we recognize an environment as one that we want to be a part of? By appealing to all five of your senses, and giving them something to indulge in while your brain does all the work. 

1. Sound

Listening to music while studying or working is a popular aid to productivity, concentration, and memorization. Walk into any library or coffee shop; almost everyone typing away on a keyboard will have their ears plugged. And for good reason. Not only has research shown that listening to music or background noise soothes study stress and anxiety, but it also triggers both the left and right sides of the brain to come alive for maximum work potential.

For me, music all depends on the right mood I’m trying to achieve for whatever it is that I am writing. If I’m writing a piece about cultural genocides, I’m not going to blast an 80s power hour. If I’m studying for a math exam, I’ll turn on background music for studying and relaxation, cafe ambiance, or maybe even nature noises to ensure I don’t get distracted from the material. If I’m running errands, cleaning, or doing laundry, I’ll listen to my favorite podcast for some mindless entertainment. No matter what it is that I’m doing, there always needs to be sound in my ears, or else I’m too aware of the silence to accomplish anything! 

But it’s really about self-care and cultivating an environment that makes you power through our to-do list.

[Gif Description: A man writes while listening to music] Via Giphy.com
2. Sight

Being productive is also about cultivating the right environment that draws you in and makes you want to be there and get the work done. For me, that means having a neat workspace. If I’m in bed clacking away on my laptop, I want my room to be clean and shiny. Am I at my desk? All clutter is gone, with nothing but my laptop, notebook, pen, and a drink in front of me.

For others, the right environment means working at a beautiful location: sitting poolside, or stretched on the beach, or perched on a park bench. In fact, since the recent decrease in travel restrictions, many hotels offer “workcations”, where you can get a discounted rate for staying there while you work remotely. If you can work at a vacation spot without getting distracted, this is definitely something to consider.

[Image description: A woman sits with her laptop on the beach.] Via conversanttraveller.com
[Image description: A woman sits with her laptop on the beach.] Via conversanttraveller.com
3. Touch

Calling all writers! There’s nothing like the grip of a quality pen scribbling across crisp, stiff white paper. Appealing to touch is also about comfort (psst, ergonomics!). Considering what aspects of economics works for you is an important part of avoiding work-related illness and injuries. For many, this involves the heart of any workplace: the right chair. There are different chairs and cushions for people to maintain maximum posture and comfort, because who can concentrate with an aching back?

But ergonomics encompasses so much more, such as body shapes and sizes in different populations, as well as environmental factors like heat, light, noise, etc. When you combine finding the right chair with feeling the right pens, paper, mousepads, and technology, you increase productivity, benefit posture, reduce pain, and boost blood circulation. 

[Gif Description: A calligraphy pen writing on a piece of paper] Via Giphy.com
4. Taste

Who doesn’t like a study snack? Keeping a bowl of berries or Cheez-Its on hand can help you power through those essays at crunch time or during that last round of exam studying. But also consider the foods that actually benefit the brain when you need concentration, like nuts or dark chocolate.

Dark chocolate is said to increase insulin sensitivity which benefits brain function, while nuts that are packed with zinc and Vitamin E improve test function, reaction time, and mental cognition. Eating while writing can sometimes make me drowsy, so my all-time favorite thing to do is brew a steaming mug of black tea (decaf, of course, since night-owls like me choose to stay up late instead of being forced to it with anxiety-inducing caffeine). 

[Image description: A cup of tea sits next to a notebook and a laptop.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: A cup of tea sits next to a notebook and a laptop.] Via Unsplash
5. Smell

This is another important aid, one that companies like Yankee Candle and Rituals have gotten down pat. Between eucalyptus candles and lavender incense, there’s no doubt that certain scents calm stress and anxiety, creating an overall environment of peace that makes you content to be where you are. Along with my cup of tea, I love lighting a deep, woodsy candle to illuminate my workspace in soft golden light while filling my room with a subtle, soothing scent. With those surroundings, why would I want to leave my desk?  

[Gif Description: A man smells a bar of soap] Via Giphy.com
Being productive is about amplifying brain function to its ultimate potential. The senses are on an intimate level with the brain; when they’re happy, the brain is happy, and everyone wins. And it all simply starts with thinking about what works for you on a personal, individual basis. 

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Tips & Tricks Life

Make the most out of this year’s Pride Month with these dos and don’ts

This time last year, we all were celebrating Pride month through a computer screen. While the sense of community was stronger than ever through this shared experience, there’s nothing like celebrating LGBTQ+ pride the way it’s supposed to be: loud, proud, and in person. 

People have been celebrating pride month since the late 60s when it originally commemorated the Stonewall Riots. The Stonewall Inn was a gay bar in Greenwich Village, Manhattan when police raided it on June 28, 1969. Patrons and employees alike were violently hauled out and arrested (because of bootlegged alcohol and relations to the Genovese crime family). The violence caused people to hurl bottles, pennies, and other objects they found in the street at police, and within moments a full-blown riot had erupted. The fire department had to come and douse the flames that started to engulf the bar (where people were trapped inside), but when the crowd was dispersed, the violence did not end. 

[Image description: Police clash with people during the Stonewall Riots of 1969.] Via hankeringforhistory.com
[Image description: Police clash with people during the Stonewall Riots of 1969.] Via hankeringforhistory.com
For five full days, members of the LGBTQ+ community rioted, since the Stonewall raid had not been the first time they were targeted by police and other people who discriminated against gay people. In short, the Stonewall riots symbolized a boiling point for a fed-up community, and the legacy of this rebellion is what introduced gay rights as a human rights issue into mainstream conversation. On the one-year anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in 1970, the first gay pride parade blazed through Manhattan. The iconic mantra of the movement was chanted through the streets: “Say it loud, gay is proud”. 

But where there are large crowds (and the first crowds are sure to be wild after a year of lockdowns), there are some basic do’s and don’ts to stay safe and ensure that you and your friends make the most out of this year’s pride month. 

 

Do:

1. Keep your valuables close.

[Image description: A wallet full of credit cards sits on a table.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: A wallet full of credit cards sits on a table.] Via Unsplash
Always know where your stuff is to avoid them getting lost or stolen.

2. Say something if you see something.

[Gif Description: A woman saying “careful is my middle name”] Via Giphy
If something is going on that makes you feel uncomfortable, make sure you report it to the nearest authority. 

3. Sign up for emergency texts.

[Gif description: A phone alert on an iPhone.] Via Giphy.com
[Gif description: A phone alert on an iPhone.] Via Giphy
In case there is anything going on in your city that you should know about, such as areas to avoid (you can find out the number for these emergency texts from the website of your city’s police department, such as San Francisco’s). 

4. Wear a specific color or similar clothes in your group.

[Gif Description: Two people go through a closet of clothes.] Via Giphy
This can be an efficient way of staying with your friends and avoid getting separated from them. There is going to be a rainbow (literally) of colors in these crowds, so choose wisely

5. Bring water to stay hydrated and remember to wear sunscreen!

[Gif description: A man covers himself with sunscreen.] Via Giphy.com
[Gif description: A man covers himself with sunscreen.] Via Giphy
Pride is celebrated throughout the entire month of June, so it’s going to be hot and sunny! 

6. Practice safe sex.

[Gif Description: A woman saying “Practice safe sex”] Via Giphy
Embracing sexuality is at the heart of pride month’s message, but so is doing it safely and responsibly (this includes birth control and clear consent).

7. Bring hand sanitizer or wipes.

[Image description: Hands using a hand sanitizer pump.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: Hands using a hand sanitizer pump.] Via Unsplash
This is important, even if we weren’t living in a post-COVID world. With port-a-potties in use and bathrooms with sinks not accessible during parades and parties, it’s important to keep germs away so you don’t get sick, especially if you’ll be eating. 

8. Wear closed sneakers, both for comfort and hygiene.

[Gif Description: A person wearing sneakers and tapping their feet] Via Giphy
You’ll be on your feet all day, especially if you plan on marching in parades. Choose comfort over fashion; in addition to blisters from open-toed shoes, walking through cities is a sure way to come home with blackened feet. 

9. Know when it’s time to stop drinking, especially if you are in a new city.

[Gif description: A woman drinking two glasses of wine at the same time.] Via Giphy.com
[Gif description: A woman drinking two glasses of wine at the same time.] Via Giphy
This is both for safety and for fun; you don’t want to be so hungover the next day that you don’t remember all the pride-themed fun you had the night before! 

10. Pick a place to meet up with your friends.

[Gif Description: A scene from the show “Hey Arnold” with a man saying “Remember we’ll all meet up] Via Giphy
This is important because people might not be able to check their phones or charge them, so designating a specific, memorable location to meet in case anyone gets separated is a good idea. 

Don’t:

1. Accept drinks or food from strangers.

[Gif Description: A man tells someone “don’t eat that”] Via Giphy
Even if the item is closed and sealed, don’t take anything from someone you don’t know. It’s always better to err on the side of caution.

2. Hang out with strangers.

[Image description: A group of friends sit side-by-side with their arms around each other.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: A group of friends sit side-by-side with their arms around each other.] Via Unsplash
Stay with the people you know. You will prevent yourself from being in an uncomfortable situation or getting lost. 

3. Intervene if you see someone getting harassed.

[Gif Description: An animation saying “if you witness hate, report it”] Via Giphy
Instead, call attention to yourself so people see what’s going on and the attacker gets distracted. This is the easiest way to stop the situation, as well as to get the police involved if there’s no time to dial 9-1-1. 

4. Rely on your phone as means of communication.

[Gif description: A man sits on his phone and breaks it.] Via Giphy.com
[Gif description: A man sits on his phone and breaks it.] Via Giphy
With all the fun you’ll be having, you can easily lose track of when you have to charge it, or it can be pickpocketed, lost, or stolen. 

5. Forget to tell your friends where you are going.

[Gif Description: A woman asking “where are you going”] Via Giphy
While you should stay with your group at all times if for any reason you need to return to your house, car, or hotel, tell them where you’re going and ideally, take someone with you. 

6. Bring mostly cash.

[Gif Description: A person flips through a stack of cash] Via Giphy
[Gif Description: A person flips through a stack of cash.] Via Giphy
People get pickpocketed all the time, especially in major cities where the crowds are the loudest and people are having too much fun.

7. On that note, don’t put all your valuables in one bag.

[Gif Description: A woman carrying several bags] Via Giphy
Bags are always in lost and found crates, so remember to hold the important stuff in different places.

8. Forget toilet paper.

[Image description: A woman holding out a roll of toilet paper.] Via Unsplash
[Image description: A woman holding out a roll of toilet paper.] Via Unsplash
Because there is nothing worse than realizing a well-used port-a-potty is the only bathroom in sight and discovering that there’s no more toilet paper. 

9. Don’t forget to be aware of your surroundings.

[Gif Description: A man saying “promise me you’ll be vigilant”] Via Giphy
No matter how much fun you are having, it’s important to stay aware of what’s going on around you. 

Celebrating pride is meant to be fun, so despite maintaining caution, don’t forget to have a good time. Hey, you made it through 2020, you deserve this! 

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Tips & Tricks Life

Journaling lets me remember my self-growth journey

I have been journaling for as long as I can remember. Occasionally, I like to skim through the top shelf of my cabinet and pull out one of my journals to read. Do I cringe when I read my younger self’s entries? Yes. But it’s all a huge part of self-growth. 

Journaling has proven to have many benefits, particularly for mental health. For me, the biggest benefit was the reduction in stress. As someone who is prone to have stress-induced panic attacks, journaling – whether it’s small doodles or a novella – has helped by giving me clarity and a place to express my emotions. A 2005 study found expressive writing to be therapeutic, noting that participants who expressed trauma, stress and other emotions through writing decreased their chances of getting sick significantly. In the long run, people who journal are less seriously affected by trauma as opposed to their non-journaling counterparts. Although I wouldn’t consider myself completely unscathed by my experiences at school, I do look back at my journals and applaud myself for the strength I mustered to get through it. 

So what does journaling do for the soul? Reduces stress and anxiety as well as boosts your immune function. Well, there are other benefits. One great one I have noticed in myself is the ability to put things into perspective. Journaling is a great regulator of emotions as when you write down how you feel, everything becomes comprehensible and once you have the chance to figure out your own emotions, you are presented with the amazing opportunity to be able to process other people’s too. It is a great way to promote self-growth and confidence as many people, myself included, read over their past personal struggles and either laugh at themselves or marvel in awe at the inner strength they didn’t know they had. 

And the best part of journaling? There are so many different styles you could go for. Days where I am feeling more creative, I’ll do some art journaling or bullet journaling. Some days, it’s easier for me to do an electronic journal (I highly recommend Notion because you type or record videos straight into the app). And you don’t have to do the typical ‘dear diary’ stuff. Make it yours. Of course, there are other tidbits people concern themselves with before they start writing, namely,  what do I write about

My easiest tip is to start writing about anything. There was a class exercise one of my lecturers used to do with us in my first year of university and that was writing for the first 15 minutes of class. “If you don’t know what to write, write ‘I am writing’ until the thought, any thought, comes into your head.” Although this is not a piece of advice I had when I first started journaling, it is something I would pass on to new journalers. Start where you are. The great thing about journals is that they are private to you so they can be two words or a whole novel if you want it to. Even if it’s just a single line, or what you had for lunch, write it. Don’t censor yourself. This is for you and it’s your personal journey. There is no right and wrong when it comes to journaling because it’s an experience so personal and tailored to the individual. 

So unlearn anything you had learned about ‘keeping a diary’ back in the earlier stages of education and go with what works for you because you don’t get graded on how you feel. I’m sure that you would appreciate the nostalgia and growth that comes with looking back at your journey in your journal as much as I do.

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Tips & Tricks Best Friends Forever Life

5 low-budget ways I made my friends’ pandemic birthdays special

There’s no doubt about it – the pandemic has done quite the number on all of us. In a time filled with sadness, confusion, and despair, making a big deal out of birthdays was not a priority for many of us. I am writing this article from a position of relative privilege because I have not been as personally affected by the events of the pandemic as much as others. Because of this, I could spare time and energy planning birthdays, and I had some amazing collaborators who helped out on these projects as well. Hopefully, this will serve as a springboard of sorts to help people get low budget ideas for how to make birthdays special during this time.

A tried and tested way of wishing friends virtually is making a video of their loved ones talking about how much they mean to them, or making a compilation of funny clips and photos of themselves. Since those are fairly common, I have not included those in my list. Here are five (extremely low budget) ways I made my friends’ lockdown birthdays special.

1. We made a lip-synced music video:

Little kid being fabulous at karaoke
[Little kid flips her hair dramatically while doing karaoke] via Giphy
This was the first rather grand gesture I was part of during the lockdown. The birthday was at the end of April, so we began planning about two weeks beforehand. The idea was to take a song that my friend Anjali* loved, and get as many friends and family to lip-sync a few lines so we could put the clips together as a music video. I planned this with my friend Nirel, and the whole thing was done virtually. We divided Anjali’s friend list between the both of us and sent them instructions and a Drive link. 

Everyone on our lists rose to the occasion admirably, and their videos were so fun! They used props, dorky dances and inside joke references to make their clips hilarious and endearing. 

On the big day, we sent the finished video to Anjali’s brother, who played it on their TV at midnight. Anjali was completely taken by surprise and loved it!

Verdict: This method costs absolutely no money, but you will need a lot of time to follow up with people, and someone to put the clips together.

2. We wrote an original song:

Adele reading a book titled 'How to write a good song'
[Gif Description: Adele reading a book titled “How to write a good song”] via Giphy
My friend Nirel turned 21 in September. To commemorate the occasion, our friends worked together to write a song that was all about her and what she meant to us. My friend Rolland (who is a verified artist on Spotify) came up with the melody, and my friend Kenn produced the whole thing! On Nirel’s birthday, we played the song in the background of a compilation of her pictures and videos, and showed it to her on Zoom.

Verdict: This method cost us nothing as well, but I know you may be thinking, ‘Hannah, that’s great for you, but we can’t all pull singer-songwriters out of hats.’ I hear you, friend. I added this instance to encourage people to look at what talents they have already and use those to their advantage. Do you write poetry? Write a poem about your friend! Can you draw? Make a sketch! Better yet, make a compilation book of drawings or poetry from your friend’s loved ones, regardless of talent levels. I’m sure the results will be hilarious and heartwarming.

3. We compiled a book of life advice:

Keira Knightley reading a book
[Gif Description: A woman walks while reading a book] via Giphy
For my cousin’s 21st birthday, her sister and I decided to ask our immediate family members and a few close friends to write her a total of 21 letters of life advice. We made up the titles, and a lot of them were tailored to her personality. Examples included, ‘Open when you’re mad at the patriarchy’, ‘Open when you’re traveling alone’ and ‘Open when you’re overthinking’. We received the messages through text, wrote them out by hand, put them in pretty DIY envelopes, and stuck the envelopes on the pages of a scrapbook. That way they were all in one place, which made it less likely that they would get lost. Needless to say, she absolutely loved her gift.

Verdict: This was my personal favorite gift. Not only was it free, but it was like she carried a piece of all her family members in that book. 

4. We sent word puzzles:

Winston from New Girl singing 'puzzling, Winston is about to do some puzzling'
[Gif Description: Winston from New Girl singing ‘puzzling, Winston is about to do some puzzling’] via GIPHY
For my friend Kai’s* birthday, we did something that may sound tricky but is actually quite simple. First, we decided on a sentence that had the same number of words as there were people involved. In our case, we had fifteen people, and the sentence was “Here is some love for you to piece together. Happy birthday Kai, thinking of you!” On a standard size letter (we chose 6×6), we wrote cute notes on one side, and on the other side, we wrote our assigned word in big bold letters. Then we mailed these letters to Kai’s house separately and instructed them to only open the letters once they had all arrived. On the day, Kai could open the letters and get fifteen individual notes, but also piece together the flip sides to make up one big message too!

Verdict: The only cost involved is any incurred for postage, otherwise this option is free as well! You can of course customize this idea to include photos or anything else you might want to add. 

5. We ripped off the Kasoor music video:

Child cups their face in their hands in an 'aww' expression
[Image Description: Child cups their face in their hands in an ‘aww’ expression] via Giphy
If you haven’t seen Prateek Kuhaad’s Kasoor video already, you should drop everything and go watch it right now. For the most recent birthday that we planned, we customized the Kasoor concept for our friend Phebe on her birthday. Like in the original music video given below, with a song that she liked in the background, we got her friends to react to different scenarios that we gave them, like ‘When you first met Phebe’ or ‘When Phebe starts talking about missing Dubai’. Our friends were a riot and turned in some very funny reactions. I loved the end result!

Verdict: This is an easy but creative and personal video to make for your friends. The clips are silent and need to be only a few seconds long, so you can easily get this done over the weekend if everyone cooperates.

I would love to know if you decide to use any of the ones I’ve mentioned here. As you can see, none of these projects cost much and they’re the embodiment of the phrase ‘it’s the thought that counts’. At the end of the day, we want our loved ones to feel special, so it’s important to keep their wishes in mind for their birthdays. If they don’t like surprises, go another route! Either way, let them know they’re loved. Goodness knows we all need it after the year we’ve had.

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Tips & Tricks Skin Care Surviving the Holidays Food & Drinks Life

My holidays are filled with pumpkin spice cookies and skincare

Feeling festive and up for more holiday content? Check out our holiday series.

What’s the best way to enjoy the holiday season? I think the beauty of this question is there isn’t one answer. Maybe for you, it’s watching every Christmas movie possible, knitting scarves for your friends, or pretending it’s still summer. Nevertheless, the holiday season usually means you have more time for self-care. For me, that looks like pumpkin spice sugar cookies and extra attention to my skincare routine.

Cookies and facial skincare sound like they don’t go together, but trust me, they do. My skin type is pretty normal, but since I’m human and have a hectic routine, I sometimes forget to make sure I’m giving it the right attention. I’m always sure to put on sunscreen every morning, and after giving my cousin the LANEIGE Grapefruit Lip Sleeping Mask and hearing her rave about it, I’ve been using it every night before bed. Since the winter season leaves my skin on the drier side, I also make sure to exfoliate once a week and use my cleanser, serum and moisturizing cream from my Caudalie Vinosource Set specifically made to hydrate my skin. 

While my skincare products work their magic on my face, I bake my own up in the kitchen. Sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies are the main classics, but a few years back my friend made boxed pumpkin spice cookies for the holidays and though I never thought myself a fan of pumpkin spice, they tasted divine. After, I decided to alter my sugar cookie recipe a smidge to have the perfect pumpkin spice sugar cookie to munch on for the holiday season

Pumpkin Spice Sugar Cookies (makes about 20 cookies depending on size) 

Photo of orange and purple tie dyed cookies on a cooling rack with sprinkles
[Image Description: Photo of orange and purple tie-dyed pumpkin spice sugar cookies on a cooling rack with sprinkles] Via Talia Basma
Ingredients: 

  • 220g unsalted butter
  • 290g sugar 
  • 10g corn starch 
  • 290g AP flour
  • ½ tsp cinnamon (if you really like cinnamon you can do a full teaspoon) 
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 cold egg
  • 1 ½ tsp pumpkin spice emulsion (Available in most baking/craft stores and online. If you cannot find it, you can add 1 tsp of nutmeg instead.)
  • 1tbsp vanilla extract

These are pretty common ingredients so it’s easy to whip these up in bulk and share with friends and family for the holidays. In the picture, mine are tie-dye and have some sprinkles but that was just to make them look more fun for my brothers so feel free to add food coloring or sprinkles! I think my favorite thing about winter is all the opportunities to share food with others. I have been baking a lot recently with COVID-19, but it’s extra fun for me to package everything and give it with love to the people in my life. I’ll admit it’s not entirely selfless because I love when they rave about how great my desserts taste. These cookies are no exception. When I first made them, I was skeptical that they’d be good since I never enjoy pumpkin spice when I add it to cakes or buttercreams, but something about the sugar cookie balances out so well with the flavoring. Not to be cliché, but it literally tastes like fall in the best way. 

Method:

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Cream the butter and sugar together in a bowl
  3. In a separate bowl, combine all the dry ingredients (corn starch, flour, cinnamon, and salt).  
  4. Add the egg to the creamed sugar and butter; whip for about 30 seconds or until fully incorporated 
  5. Add in vanilla and pumpkin spice
  6. Slowly add in the dry ingredients and mix after each addition
  7. Once properly mixed, shape into balls and place on a baking tray
  8. Place in freezer for 10 minutes (this helps with spreading) 
  9. Bake for 11 minutes and then pull the cookies out to cool 

After these amazing cookies have cooled enough to eat, you can enjoy them all by yourself or share a few with those nearby. I must warn you, once you start eating these cookies, you might not want to stop. You can totally eat these cookies while watching holiday classics and using an eye mask. Nothing is a better gift in the holidays than giving yourself permission to relax and enjoying some of the love you’re usually giving to other people

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Tips & Tricks Surviving the Holidays Culture Family Life

How to enjoy Ramadan amidst the Covid-19 outbreak

Every year, millions of Muslims across the world excitedly wait for Ramadan, the holiest month of the year. It is a time of self-discovery and worship, a time for people to renew their relationship with Allah and strengthen their bonds with their family.

Everything in Ramadan feels different – the mosque during Taraweeh (the nightly prayer), your house a couple of minutes before Maghrib, bustling with people getting ready to break their fast, that first sip of water…everything is adorned with a new sense of appreciation.

With just about a week until Ramadan this year, people are concerned about how will celebrate the holy month with the spread of COVID-19.

The core of Ramadan’s spirit is in the sense of community found in gathering with loved ones for iftar ” breaking of the fast”, attending the mosque the nightly prayer, and volunteering for charity. Much of this, unfortunately, will not be allowed this year due to the closure of public spaces and the suspension of group meetings. People’s usual excited anticipation has been taken over by a sense of anxiety, uncertainty and nostalgia, feelings which are all valid in such circumstances.

Though Ramadan will be very different this year, people can still work together to bring it to life at home, and we have put together some tips to help you:

1.Decorate your place

[Image description: Betty the octopus running and throwing star decorations on a colorful wall] Via Giphy
Decorating your house and adding festive touches can play a great role in lifting your mood. Make a day of it! Here are some ideas for homemade Ramadan decorations.

2. Prepare your own prayer space

Attribution: [ image description: A woman in green dress and a sheer green scarf on sitting down on her knees praying] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman in green dress and a sheer green scarf kneeling in prayer] Via Giphy
You might be one of many people who are used to regularly attending the masjid during Ramadan. Missing Taraweeh and all the masjid’s events and activities can be really distressing and saddening, but setting up a designated area in your home to worship can help bring back that familiar feel. Pray at your own pace with your family or set aside some alone time to reflect on what you want to get out of the month.

3. Make a list of things you want to achieve

Attribution: [Image description: SpongeBob holding a long list] Via Giphy
[Image description: SpongeBob holding a long list] Via Giphy
This may sound like tired advice, but making a list of goals you want to achieve during Ramadan can be very useful. Whether it be to read a certain amount of Qura’an, spend more time with your family, or even keeping track of your food intake, anything can go on your list. One idea could be to make a list of Dua’as “Prayers” you want to make during the month and divide them throughout the month, updating your list as you progress.

4. Have family gatherings and iftars online

Attribution: [ image description: A family sitting on a table having iftar while smiling] Via Giphy
Attribution: [ image description: A family sitting on a table having iftar while smiling] Via Giphy
With nearly everything moving online, why not move your family gathering online too? Get in touch with your family members and arrange an online meeting so you can all sit, talk and eat together. It is certainly not the same as being together in person, but its something.

5. Donate online

[ Image description: Homer Mr. Burns from the Simpsons saying " A donation, eh?"] Via Giphy
[ Image description: Homer Mr. Burns from the Simpsons saying ” A charitable donation, eh?”] Via Giphy
We all know that Ramadan is also about charitable work, and making monetary donations is an essential part of Ramadan for most people. Staying at home doesn’t mean you still can’t donate to the many online charities that are in need. Here is a list of charities you may want to consider.

6. Listen to online lectures and Qura’an

Attribution: [Image description: Gerald from Hey Arnold, wearing big headphones and happily listening] Via GiphyAttribution: [Image description: Gerald from Hey Arnold, wearing big headphones and happily listening] Via Giphy
[Image description: Gerald from Hey Arnold, wearing big headphones and happily listening] Via Giphy
If you miss going to the masjid and listening to the soothing recitation of Qura’an, or if you particularly miss that small lecture between prayers, there are plenty of options for lectures and beautiful recitations online. Many local mosques are switching to virtual lectures and are sending daily reminders on social media. Check up with your local masjid or google a specific topic you want to listen to, the options are endless.

7. Lend in a hand in the kitchen and make new dishes

[Image description: Will from Fresh Prince of Bel Air sets the contents of a pot on fire] Via Giphy
Staying at home is a great opportunity to try new things out, and if you are lucky enough to be living with friends or family who are fasting too, that’s an even greater opportunity. Roll up your sleeves, go to the kitchen and lend a hand in cooking iftar or suhoor Challenge yourselves to try new dishes you never tried before!

8. Send out personalized cards to friends and family

[Image description: the moon moves through its phases surrounded by stars] Via Giphy
Because everyone is fighting their own battle and trying to stay positive and sane during this period, sending personalized greeting cards to wish people a Ramadan Mubarak and let them know that you are thinking of them can be a really nice gesture that will make both of you feel that little bit warmer inside.

 

Though Ramadan is definitely about spending precious time with loved ones, it is also about spending time with yourself and God. It offers an invaluable opportunity to learn about self-discipline and desire, about being grateful for what you have, and about lending a helping hand to those in need, and those are things not even a pandemic can take away from you.

From all of us at The Tempest, we wish you a Ramadan Kareem.

Categories
Tips & Tricks Food & Drinks

15 times you realized being vegan didn’t suck

Veganism has been around for ages.

Ancient Indian and Eastern Mediterranean societies partook in the lifestyle choice that avoids all product that comes from animals. Veganism was even mentioned by Pythagoras in 500BC. Five centuries ago African culture also was largely dependent on the traditional foods of leaves, roots, tubers, corns, rhizomes, bulbs, seeds, buds, shoots, stems, pods or edible flowers.

In Western society, Veganism has only caught on recently.  2019 has been dubbed the Year of the Vegan, so here are 15 reasons why being vegan is great.

 1. Ben and Jerry have their own vegan flavors. 

A white man lying down on a bed, licks two ice creams in his hands.
[Image Description: A man lying down on a bed, licks two ice creams in his hands.] Via GIPHY
Ben and Jerry just released 12 non-dairy flavors. Should we be excited?

I’m too busy knee-deep in almond milk creamy loveliness to remember what we’re talking about…

2.  Apparently, it’s mainstream now

White boy looks up at a white man and smiles
[Image Description: Boy looks up at a man and smiles ] Via GIPHY
Gone are the days when people just thought you were crazy.

Now, people think you and all the hipsters are crazy. You can now eat your plant-based meal in peace without having to explain that, no you don’t miss meat and, yes, you can eat chocolate.

 3. …though you still have to have answers prepared just in case. 

A white girl in an orange outfit sits down onto the floor holding a black gun.
[Image Description: A girl in an orange outfit sits down onto the floor holding a black gun.] via GIPHY
People understand the concept but not everyone is willing to let it go. It’s good to brush up on facts just in case someone tries to argue you out of your beliefs.

4. Oreos are vegan.

Young white girl in a yellow coat, clutches a candyfloss. She is grinning.
[Image description: Young girl in a yellow coat, clutches a candyfloss. She is grinning.] Via GIPHY by Demic
YES. YES. YES.

5. Instagram is filled with supportive pages with pictures of grateful animals. 

A baby calf dances and plays happily in a field.
[Image Description: A baby calf dances and plays happily in a field.] Via GIPHY
Nothing says ‘thank you’ better than a meme that claims this calf is smiling because you chose not to eat it. You can go on with the rest of your day on cloud nine after a few of these life-affirming posts.

6. Fake leather is infinitely cheaper than real leather. 

A bald black man lifts up the bracelet of a black woman to inspect it.
[Image Description: A  man lifts up the bracelet of a woman to inspect it.] Via GIPHY
The animals may be happy, the planet may be happy, but what’s most effective is seeing how happy our wallets are. Fake leather has the same feel with less of the excess blood.

7. KFC now has vegan options.

A white man comes out of his office and follows a group of panicking employees.
[Image Description: A man comes out of his office and follows a group of panicking] Via GIPHY
Welcome aboard, Colonel.

8. Pizza hut and Pizza Express now do vegan cheese. 

A white man in a brown suit holds his hands up in the air, celebrating.
[Image Description: A man in a brown suit holds his hands up in the air, celebrating.] Via GIPHY
Family dinners are now less awkward because there’s finally something you can eat – wherever you go.

9. No one’s expecting you to be perfect.

A white man in a cowboy hat smiles in the sun.
[Image Description: A man in a cowboy hat smiles in the sun. ] via GIPHY
Let’s be honest, people who eat meat used to accuse you of ‘being up on your high horse’ or a goody-two-shoes. With the documentaries and material available, more and more people have educated themselves on why people are vegan.

You can slip up and not get battered for it.

10. Netflix has your back 

A blue mermaid with a purple tail lies under the sea, watching NETFLIX off a laptop.
[Image Description: A mermaid with a purple tail lies under the sea, watching NETFLIX off a laptop.] Via GIPHY
If you want to remind yourself why you passed up on the Hershey’s chocolate you can turn to any one of a number of Netflix documentaries. What The Health, Earthlings, and Cowspiracy are just three that will boost you up again on your mission.

11. Greta Thunberg. 

Two white men bow down to someone. One has long blonde hair, the other a black baseball cap.
[Image Description: Two men bow down to someone. One has long blonde hair, the other a black baseball cap.] Via GIPHY
With spokespeople as young as Thunberg taking to the streets, suddenly veganism seems a lot more doable. If she can do it, I bloody well can!

12. Beyond Meat exists.

A yellow bear ties a bib around his neck, and then picks up his cutlery excitedly.
[Image Description: Winnie the Pooh ties a bib around his neck, and then picks up his cutlery excitedly.] Via GIPHY
This brand is revolutionary. Their burgers sizzle and fry, and melt in your mouth ‘apparently’ like the real thing. All I know is they’re the best goddam vegan burgers I’ve ever tasted.

13. Benedict Cumberbatch was just voted PETA’s most beautiful vegan.

A white man in a suit sits down and talks to someone
[Image Description: A man in a suit sits down and talks to someone] via GIPHY
Mmmm. Not only do we get to look great doing it, but we get to look at others who look great doing it.

14. There are hundreds of ‘vegan challenges’ if you’re not quite ready to commit. Beyonce created one. 

A white man in a suit jumps up and down and claps his hands
[Image Description: A man in a suit jumps up and down and claps his hands] Via GIPHY
That’s right, the queen of pop created her own 22 day Vegan challenge. Now all you single ladies can put a fake chicken ‘wing’ on it (sorrynotsorry).

15. Wagamama are cranking up their vegan options. 

A white man in a yellow polo neck top brings down his hand and says, 'Yes'.
[Image Description: A man in a yellow polo neck top brings down his hand and says, ‘Yes’.] via GIPHY
This International brand just paired up with vegan chef Gaz Oakley to create an awesome new menu. With fake eggs made of coconut cream and sriracha, the new dishes are definitely something to be excited about.

Whatever reason we’re pursuing veganism, 2019 has our back.  Vegan ice cream party anyone?

Categories
Tips & Tricks Editor's Picks Culture Food & Drinks Life

Here’s what happened when I tried ordering halal meat online

I’ll be the first to admit it: I’m a carnivore.

There’s nothing better to me than a medium-rare steak, seared just-so on a cast iron pan.

Despite this fact, I’ve spent too many years of my life substituting for vegetarian alternatives (hey, no hate to those who follow vegetarian diets!) out of no reason other than lack of access to halal meat.

Halal has always been important to my family.

I’m sure you’ve been there: searching desperately for any zabiha halal in the grocery stores, hoping you won’t need to drive the hour after your long work day to the halal butcher, only to find that the grocer just ran out and won’t you come again tomorrow?

Halal has always been important to my family.

As newlywed Muslim immigrants living in Japan, my parents would travel once a month to the one halal grocer in the region – a short five-hour drive. Meals would be rationed to preserve the meat throughout the month. When my family moved to the US, my parents continued our commitment to zabiha halal, because they saw it as a reminder of our faith and cultural identity.

But access to zabiha halal meat has never been easy – especially in the isolated areas where I grew up. Let’s be real, there’s nothing more draining than coming home after a long week of work, only to have to make another trek in search of groceries.

It got to a point where my friends often had to hear me ranting about just how real the struggle was (and if I was hungry, things were a bit worse. Sorry, y’all!). That is, until the day my best friend Amina found the perfect way to shut me up because she’d just started using this meat delivery company that actually sent her halal meat.

Skeptical? Duh. Curious? Of course. It was too good to be true – or so I thought.

It turns out it isn’t too good to be true.

Amina sent me the link the same day she told me about Boxed Halal, and, at my wit’s end with the amount of effort it takes to get my hands on meat, I decided to check it out.

Okay, I thought. This may actually work. The company talked about how it delivered zabiha halal meat anywhere in the US, so why not give it a chance? On the shop page, they listed all the available meat options. This was a relief– there’s nothing more stressful to me than standing at the halal counter trying to decide what I need for the week in less than a minute.

Let’s be real – the guy behind the counter is usually terrifying AF.

The Order

Taking a deep breath and a big leap into the online-food-ordering-unknown, I chose ground beef (a classic!), ground chicken (a luxury at my local halal store!), and chicken breasts (part of a recent obsession, don’t hate).

The Unboxing

I’ve never ordered meat online before, so I was eager to see how the shipping process would be.

(I say this as someone who’s literally ordered from H&M and never gotten their clothes because…New Hampshire.)

Just two days after ordering, the box of goodness arrived.

Before:

[Image description: Boxed Halal box on arrival, before it's opened.] Courtesy of author.
[Image description: Boxed Halal box on arrival, before it’s opened.] Courtesy of the author.

After:

[Image description: The meat and packaging inside the Boxed Halal package, after opening.] Courtesy of author.
[Image description: The meat and packaging inside the Boxed Halal package, after opening.] Courtesy of author.
Turns out that Boxed Halal packs the meats in vacuum-sealed bags, which are then packaged alongside ice packs. Even though there was some waste (reusing ice packs really aren’t my thing), the meat was fresh and cold.

The Cooking

I got cooking right away and started with some of my favorite food, butter chicken. It was the end of the workday, and I was not feeling the intensive process of making it from scratch, so I chopped up and cooked the chicken breast and topped it off with a ready-made butter chicken sauce.

You know, the authentic way. I served the dish with rice pilaf (yes, yes, the wrong type of rice, but cravings always win, okay?).

Butter chicken and rice pilaf sit on a white plate.
[Image description: Butter chicken and rice pilaf sit on a white plate.] Courtesy of the author.

The Taste

It was an immediate hit.

The chicken breast was completely tender and juicy, as though it had never been frozen. My mom, who usually is super picky, raved over it and was in shock to learn that it was mail-ordered meat.

The next day was a special day. Since I was at my family’s house and my brother (who has the appetite of five ordinary people) was coming over for dinner, I decided to go all out with the two remaining products.

The first dish I made was my family’s trademark Syrian dish, ma’lubeh (it’s often known as makloubeh, too). This dish uses rice with fried eggplants and our meat of choice. Typically, we use ground beef, but I decided to be daring and venture forth with the ground chicken. I browned the chicken and layered it carefully in the rice dish, sneaking only a few bites in the meantime. The ground chicken met all my health desires, with limited fat in the meat and a clean but subtle-y chicken taste. It was clear that this would be a winner for the ma’lubeh.

Quality of meat makes a huge difference for a dish like kofta, so I wanted to put Boxed Halal to the test.

While the ma’lubeh cooked, I started on the ground beef.

I’d decided to make kofta (meatballs), a dish I usually refuse to make due to the manual labor aspect (I’m a lazy cook, okay), but the ground beef seemed too good to pass up such a limited spice dish. Quality of meat makes a huge difference for a dish like kofta, so I wanted to put Boxed Halal to the test.

Into the slow cooker, it went, with some tomato puree.

Kofta in a pan.
[Image description: Kofta prepped and ready to go.] Courtesy of the author.
When mealtime came around, we were all excited to taste the outcomes of my late night endeavors. The first dish to be devoured was the ma’lubeh (no surprise there). The ground chicken was tender and complimented the flavor of the ma’lubeh.

However, the real winner, hands down, was the kofta. Boxed Halal’s ground beef is a match unlike that found in the local halal stores, and each bite had the perfect taste that comes only from high-quality meat.

The Verdict

Overall, Boxed Halal was everything I had previously only dreamed of. I used to think that eating halal was synonymous with making compromises – be that sacrificing extra time or quality. Boxed Halal has changed that for me.

As a young professional who hardly has time for sleep, nonetheless grocery shopping, Boxed Halal makes it easy for me to observe my zabiha halal diet from the comfort of my bed. Gone is the constant stress of having to drive to the halal store or being frustrated at the lower quality of meat that I’m provided with.

Gone is the constant stress of having to drive to the halal store.

Instead, I can now sign in quickly online and create an order for my week’s meat groceries, all without leaving my house.

Since my initial order, I’ve been spreading the gospel of Boxed Halal like nothing else.

I can’t seem to look back to the days of searching for halal on my own. If you’re over long trips looking for an alternative, consider this my official stamp of approval for Boxed Halal and all of their delicious meat offerings.

And let’s be real – there is no better timing for this than the next time you’re craving a good burger. What better time is there to try it than now?

Categories
Tips & Tricks Health Care Tech Wellness Now + Beyond

These 5 apps can help if you’re suffering from drug addiction

The stigma surrounding drug abuse makes it harder for people to open up about their issues. Consequently, those suffering from the illness often feel shame and struggle to find help. Availability of proper health resources becomes crucial for recovery. Plenty of apps are available to help with depression and anxiety. Likewise, similar services are obtainable to help with addiction.

(Note: These apps cannot be substituted for medical treatment, they’re supplementary.)

1. I Am Sober

Screenshot of a sobriety app that says ready to quit against a green background with the number of days, hours, minutes and seconds someone has gone without alcohol.]
[Image description: Screenshot of a sobriety app that says ready to quit against a green background with the number of days, hours, minutes and seconds someone has gone without alcohol.] Via play.google.com
Addiction is a complex illness and getting sober is no different. I am Sober, provides positive reinforcement and keeps a record of progress. Additionally, it tracks how many minutes, hours and days you’ve stayed sober. Also, the app calculates money saved on not purchasing the substance. Users can also share their milestones with each other by adding photos, so they don’t feel alone in their journey.

I am Sober connects the users to a wide network; to bring you a 24-hour companion. 

Available for free on iOS and Android.

2. Sober Grid

Preview of the app sober grid with a red background with white text ask for help 24/7 written at the top.
[Image description: Preview of the app sober grid with a red background with white text ask for help 24/7 written at the top.] Via play.google.com
Struggling with addiction and relapse can be isolating if one doesn’t have the right kind of support. Therefore, having an accessible community to guide you through tough days is helpful. Sober Grid aims to do exactly that, a social networking app connecting individuals in recovery. For instance, the “Burning Desire” button let’s other people know help in wanted. 

Available for free on iOS and Android.

3. Happify

Preview of the app happify against a blue background with the text gain insights and track your progress over time written in white at the top and a progress chart shown on a samsung phone.
[Image description: Preview of the app happify against a blue background with the text gain insights and track your progress over time written in white at the top and a progress chart shown on a Samsung phone.] Via play.google.com
In most cases, substance addiction is accompanied by anxiety and depression. Sometimes, the drugs used could also cause symptoms of another mental illness. Here, apps that promote healthy ways to deal with low mood & anxiety help. 

Happify consists of science-based games and tools that help improve emotional well-being. The techniques behind the games are developed by experts studying psychology.

Available for free on iOS and Android.

4. My Sober Life/My Sober Life Pro

Screenshot of the app my sober life that consists of seven options against a green and blue background with the number of hours sober at the bottom.
[Image description: Screenshot of the app my sober life that consists of seven options against a green and blue background with the number of hours sober at the bottom.] Via play.google.com
The 18 + age restriction on sobriety apps limits access to apps by someone younger. It’s been reported that 50% of the adolescent population has misused some drug in their life. Moreover, exposure to drugs at an early age increases the risk of developing a drug addiction later in life.

My Sober Life is for teenagers and young adults (12-25 years) in recovery. Based on the 12 step recovery principles and with the help of teens who have successfully recovered. The app includes a sobriety counter and a progress tracker. Furthermore, this app allows users to record obstacles and construct plans to tackle them.

Available for free on iOS and Android.

5. Stop Drinking – Andrew Johnson

Screenshot of the quit drinking with andrew johnson with a play menu against a blue background.
[Image description: Screenshot of the quit drinking with andrew johnson with a play menu against a blue background.] Via play.google.com
Cutting down on alcohol is often be accompanied by cravings and the urge to drink again. Although, these cravings are normal during recovery. Often, they come with a sense of loss of control. So, to combat this the app provides relaxation techniques, visualization and positive techniques to help with urges.

Available on iOS and Android for $2.99.

Addiction can be very distressful. But there’s no shame in asking for help. Just like other mental health condition, it is treatable.

The apps mentioned above are not a substitute for professional help, rather a chance for succor. If you or anyone you know is suffering from addiction reach out. The 24/7 national drug help hotline in the US is 1-888-633-3239. And in the UK, 0300-123-66-00.

The stigma around drug addiction can only be tackled when we engage in conversation. Don’t push this under the rug, talk and educate.

Categories
Tips & Tricks Health Care Gender & Identity Life Stories Advice Life

Two simple steps for feeling sane in college and staying that way

Trigger Warning: Mentions of an eating disorder and over-exercising. 

For many, the start of the new year brings with it the desire to start anew. It’s a great time to begin new goals and routines. In fact, popular media often makes it sound compulsive that our previously frazzled lives finally get into action with a turning of the calendar. It’s not surprising that many of us feel pressure to implement that meditation plan or meal prep or workout grind or self-care or social outing schedule we’ve had in the back of our minds for the last few months – maybe even all of the above!

Blame it on childhood perfectionism, an anxiety disorder, or Capricorn season, but it’s taken me a long time to learn that starting a new semester with new goals doesn’t have to mean that I have to adhere to them perfectly. I’ve rarely struggled with falling off the wagon; instead, I’ve clung desperately to the wagon as it was dragged over rocky terrain, ignoring all of the reasonable voices in my head telling me to just give it up.

For some of us, goal setting can be pretty unhealthy if it’s not done with a value-driven and balanced approach.  In my short life, I’ve whittled it down to two rules: First, “pre-goal,” acknowledge your values, and as you progress, take some time to reflect by yourself — as well as engage in some self-care.

1. Acknowledge your values

strong love yourself GIF by Rebecca Hendin
[Image Description: A gif of a woman with black hair and red sunglasses flexing her muscles. There is blue confetti falling around her.] Via Giphy
I spent my first two years of college committed to working out daily or near-daily, no matter what else was going on. I also hated working out and had a pretty unhealthy approach to it. I focused mostly on burning calories. (As it turns out, I’m now in recovery from an eating disorder!) Regardless, I didn’t want to be one of those people who got to college and got so swept up in fun I forgot my goals of becoming stronger, (hopefully) thinner, and One of Those Girls Who Loves Working Out.

Even working out for 40 minutes a day – which sounds like nothing to many fitness folks – can be a lot in a busy college schedule and what I remember most about these times is choosing to miss out on other things. I remember the second week of college, wheezing with bronchitis on the elliptical because I didn’t want to skip a day. I remember choosing to run on the treadmill instead of doing some last-minute cramming for a midterm because I knew it would calm me down more to have that workout in – and then getting a B that could have been an A. I remember eating a Luna Bar and jogging in the morning after drinking my first beer instead of going to “hangover brunch” with the people in my dorm because my goal was more important than making new friends.

This is when acknowledging your values comes in. It sounds very therapy, I know, but I  recommend listing them on paper. Yes, I didn’t want to give up, but if I’d made a list of what I truly valued at age 18, “performing well academically” and “making new friends” definitely would have outweighed “40 minutes on the elliptical no matter what.” Those no matter what goals – they’re almost never good. I had to step back and look years later to realize what was important to me – but if I’d given myself a few minutes at the time to reflect, I could have saved myself some trouble.

2. Reflect (by yourself)

sad emma stone GIF by La La Land
[Image Description: A gif of a red-headed woman wiping the steam from a mirror and looking at herself in it.] Via Giphy
Don’t keep doing something if it doesn’t feel good to you – and definitely keep doing something if it does. Personally, I’m not really into cutting out food groups unless it’s out of medical necessity, but I know tons of people for whom eliminating dairy or conscientiously limiting sugar has been a game-changer. But if you’re just avoiding bread because some blogger said to, it might not be for you.

Being alone with ourselves can be uncomfortable, but it allows us to see what goals work before plowing along. I believe that spending some time alone should be on pretty much everyone’s list of goals, whether you’re 20-something and single like me or married with kiddos (even though I recognize how much harder that could be!)

Don’t be fooled by the glamorous and glittery self-care that encompasses kale smoothies, pilates and bath bombs, especially considering how a lot of corporate-induced self-care is just a part of our capitalist system.  Most carry a message of “buy something to chill you out for, like, a minute and then prepare to go back to your job with slightly renewed energy.” Nope. Try to find something to do alone that actually fulfills you, regardless of if it’s Instagrammable. Running and pilates, documentaries and donuts, staring that the wall – they’re all totally valid, as long it actually recharges you. Because goals are a lot more pleasant when we want to do them.

I don’t know if this works for everyone, but it certainly works for me. I hope you have a great Spring semester with all of the kale smoothies and study dates your heart desires – as long as they keep feeling good.

Categories
Tips & Tricks Gender & Identity Life Stories Advice Life

21 things that will 100% happen if you move far from home

Five years ago, I moved from my home outside of Boston to go to college in the South.

There are so many things about my life now I never could have predicted then, and there are so many ways my life has changed because I left home. For one thing, I never expected to experience such culture shock.

Even though I was still in the USA, so many experiences felt completely foreign to me, and as I would go back home from time to time I would find myself looking at what had once been familiar through a brand new lens. No matter what regions or countries you move to or from, moving far from home is always an adjustment.

1. The greeting customs are all different even if it’s still the same language you grew up with.

community hello GIF
[image description: student awkwardly waving and then pretending to have been scratching their head]
I’m still not used to strangers saying hi to me on the street.

2. You find out things were weird you didn’t know were weird.

mike napoli moments GIF
[image description: excited bowler candlepin bowling]
Turns out no one has heard of candlepin bowling.

3. You miss the specific things that make where you grew up unique.

dunkin donuts coffee GIF
[image description: GIF of a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee flashing different colors]
Turns out seven Dunkin Donuts in a town of 20,000 people is not the norm.

4. You’re maybe a little too excited to share customs and cuisines from where you grew up with the new people in your life.

the legend of sleepy hollow lunch GIF
[image description: GIF of basket overflowing with food]
I bring an extra carry-on whenever I go home just to fill with food to bring back.

5. You learn about the specific things that make this new place unique.

girls eating GIF
[image description: woman smiling with cake in her mouth]
New desserts? Yes, please.

6. You try new things.

rihanna interview GIF
[Image description: gif of Rihanna saying “And it’s hard to change and try new things, for me.]
Hot sauce is now a part of my life.

7. Going home is exciting for two seconds and then you’re bored.

bored alice in wonderland GIF
[image description: gif of Alice from Alice in Wonderland resting her head on her hand, bored]

8. Your parents are always asking you about when you’ll be home.

the goldbergs mom GIF by TV Land
[image description: gif of a blonde woman on the phone saying “Hi nub nub’]
*shrugs*

9. When you go home you have to catch up with way too many people in way too short of a time frame.

group hug GIF
[image description: gif of group hug from Golden Girls]
“Hi! I love you! Bye!”

10. You realize that most of the people who say they’ll visit won’t.

looking where are you GIF by The Academy Awards
[image description: gif of woman searching a crowd]
“I’ve always wanted to go to ________! I’ll come visit you!”

11. You realize that’s probably for the best.

mtv 90s GIF
[image description: gif of person crawling into fort, closing the door and reading]
Having visitors is actually exhausting.

12. You get to celebrate new holidays and festivals.

mardi gras GIF
[image description: Big Freedia walking in a parade saying “oh yaaaassss”]
Mardi Gras is a game changer.

13. You gain a new appreciation for the food where you grew up.

full house eating GIF
[image description: young child eating hug plate of spaghetti]
It’s just not the same anywhere else.

14. You start to staunchly defend things about where you grew up that you used to feel indifferent about.

you are wrong win GIF
[image description: gif of person running up to someone in a parking lot and throwing a stack of paper at them with the caption “FACTS”]
It’s called a rotary, not a traffic circle, not a roundabout. End of discussion.

15. Half of your wardrobe is no longer relevant in your new climate.

clothing GIF
[image description: dog wearing clothes walking on hind legs down a sidewalk]
Welp, guess you gotta go shopping!

16. Your slang becomes a hybrid of the different places you’ve lived.

what is fetch mean girls GIF
[image description: lunchroom scene from Mean Girls in with the text “What is fetch?” “Oh, it’s like slang, from England”]
I’ve used “y’all” and “wicked” in the same sentence.

17. You get homesick like never before…

nicksplat doug GIF
[Image description: GIF of cartoon saying “I am so homesick.”]
Like when you miss an entire season you grew up with. RIP fall.

18. …and your appreciation for where you grew up reaches a whole new level. 

happy criterion collection GIF by FilmStruck
[image description: gif of woman gazing out at a vista in awe]
Home is maybe the best?

19. You feel conflicted about what sports teams you should be cheering for.

confused larry david GIF
[image description: A man looking confused, cycling through facial expressions]
Go…team? IDK!!!

20. You feel like an expert when someone from home comes to visit and you get to be their tour guide.

cmt segway GIF by The Ed Bassmaster Show
[image description: gif of Segway tour guide rocking back and forth with megaphone]
Here are all of my favorite places in alphabetical order.

21. You still feel like a newbie sometimes even years after you relocate.

confused which way GIF
[image description: GIF of Spongebob, a cartoon, with arms pointing in all directions and wrapping around each other]
Wait, where am I?

Categories
Tips & Tricks Life Stories Humor Advice Life

Here’s how to keep your friendships alive like a damn adult

As you get older, days seem to get shorter and time just keeps slipping away. We’re so busy all of a sudden, with school and work and navigating adulthood, that maintaining friendships is not as easy as it may have been at school. It can be easy to let them slip away, even. Through time, struggle and a lot of whining, however, I’ve figured out the perfect formula to beat the system and cheat your way through it.

Disclaimer: It’s entirely possible that I’m not very good at this either, to be honest. Perfect friendships don’t seem to last for long after preschool, though, so maybe this is the closest any of us can get.

1. Choose your fights wisely.

[Image description: A man saying, "I simply don't have time for confrontations.] Via Giphy
[Image description: A man saying, “I simply don’t have time for confrontations.] Via Giphy
Let’s be honest, you don’t really want to keep in touch with every single person you ever ate lunch with in high school. Some of them may stay your best friends all your life. Or maybe none of them will. You have to make that choice—who is worth investing your limited time in?

2. Accept the change.

[Image description: A woman making a calming hand gesture and saying, "Just relax a little bit."] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman making a calming hand gesture and saying, “Just relax a little bit.”] Via Giphy
There is no way a friendship that goes from meeting up at 8 a.m. every morning at school to not seeing each other more than once a month can stay the same. And that’s okay. Sometimes, it’s easier to go with the flow and try not to fight it all the time.

3. Prioritize your people.

[Image description: A woman making a sassy hand gesture and saying, "Talk trash and have fun, you know, that's what friends do."] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman making a sassy hand gesture and saying, “Talk trash and have fun, you know, that’s what friends do.”] Via Giphy
Listen, we all have those days where we want to come home, lapse into a puddle on one corner of the sofa and have no will to exist for the next three weeks. It happens to the best of us. And maybe, on days like those, you don’t want to interact with another human being. But maybe the funk you’re in can be helped by calling your best friend and whining about life until you get distracted by a really stupid inside joke and wind up cackling so hard you can’t breathe.

4. Don’t sweat it.

[Image description: A woman heaving out a sigh.] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman heaving out a sigh.] Via Giphy
Distance is not always the worst thing. For example, one of oldest friends and I talk maybe one every couple of months and we don’t always know what is happening in each other’s lives or what kind of music we’re into recently. What we do know is that if I were to find myself feeling stuck in life, she’d still understand perfectly what I mean to say in minimal words. Sometimes, it’s okay not to be as close as you once were, because distance does not make you care any less and there’s nothing wrong with accepting it.

5. Make the most of your time.

[Image description: A man excitedly nodding and saying, "Super disturbing, but I'm gonna do it!"] Via Giphy
[Image description: A man excitedly nodding and saying, “Super disturbing, but I’m gonna do it!”] Via Giphy
If you’re saying you’ve never talked to a friend while multitasking, like cooking or getting dressed or even in the bathroom, I’m just going to have to call you a liar. Sometimes, you’re busy being pulled in six different directions but you also really miss talking to your friend so there’s basically no other option but to multitask. And you know what, video-chatting with your phone propped up by the sink while you do your makeup or on the counter while you make dinner is an amazing form of communication.

6. Accept group chats as your new best friend…

[Image description: A woman looking down at her phone and typing, asking, "Where is the gun emoji?"] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman looking down at her phone and typing, asking, “Where is the gun emoji?”] Via Giphy
Even if scheduling conflicts and work commitments and life in general are keeping you from having deep discussions about the meaning of the universe and whatnot, it’s nice to just spend a few moments outraged about the newest celebrity gossip. It’s also an excellent place to have dumb conversations entirely via reaction gifs.

7. … And memes as your second-best friend.

[Image description: A woman typing on her phone and geeking out, making funny faces.] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman typing on her phone and geeking out, making funny faces.] Via Giphy
Honestly, if you aren’t tagged in at least one meme every day, do you even have real friends? From silly Facebook videos to hilariously relatable jokes on Instagram, the meme may just be the millennial’s modern form of showing quick affection. It definitely shows someone you’re thinking of them much better than a cheesy text, and you get a good laugh out of it.

8. Don’t stress about it; it’s not worth it.

[Image description: A woman swinging in a hammock with her eyes closed, hands folded under her head.] Via Giphy
[Image description: A woman swinging in a hammock with her eyes closed, hands folded under her head.] Via Giphy
That moment where it finally hits you that the only people you’ve talked to that week are your coworkers and the cat can be hard. It may even hit you at butt o’clock at night, right in the middle of your Netflix binge, and leave you gasping with how alone you’ve been recently. But if you’re happy that way, that’s okay too. There’s no need to stress about not being attached to the hip with your friends all the time because a little space is good for everybody.

9. Be a little selfish.

[Image description: An emotional woman stroking her own arms and then nodding, putting both hands to her chest to symbolize self-love.] Via Giphy
[Image description: An emotional woman stroking her own arms and then nodding, putting both hands to her chest to symbolize self-love.] Via Giphy
If somebody is making you feel shitty, cut them out of your life. If you’ve grown apart from someone and don’t really care anymore, move on. If it amuses you to ignore a clingy friend, go for it. As an adult, it’s absolutely acceptable to put yourself and your own needs first, even if it sometimes means compromising on friendships.

10. Communicate.

[Image description: A little girl very seriously saying, "Best friends don't tell."] Via Giphy
[Image description: A little girl very seriously saying, “Best friends don’t tell.”] Via Giphy
As pretty much any teen romance movie ever has taught us, a lack of communication can kill even the cutest couple. That applies just as easily to the non-fictional world, and you know what? Those movies weren’t wrong. Even if you’re busy, tired, cranky, irate, just letting somebody know that you’re dealing with something and will get back to them ASAP instead of ignoring their texts can make a world of difference. At the end of the day, no matter what your relationship with a friend looks like, if you can communicate effectively, your friendship can make it through some serious struggles.

11. Celebrate each other.

[Image description: A girl with a drink in hand, shooting finger-guns.] Via Giphy.
[Image description: A girl with a drink in hand, shooting finger-guns.] Via Giphy.
We all have a few dozen friendly acquaintances who we don’t really talk to and who only count as friends in the most superficial sense of the word. It’s still nice to drop them a line every once in a while if you see something cool that reminds you of them, or if you see them post about an achievement on your timeline.

12. Don’t miss out.

[Image description: A brunette girl saying to her blonde friend, "I'm your BFF: your broke friend forever."] Via Giphy
[Image description: A brunette girl saying to her blonde friend, “I’m your BFF: your broke friend forever.”] Via Giphy
Sure, FOMO is a very real affliction. And sure, it’s great for your peace of mind to not indulge in it. But while it might not be possible for you to be there for each other all the time, try to be there for your friends when they need you. Sometimes, it doesn’t really matter if you haven’t texted in two weeks as long as you’re there when it counts.