Dear Madame Lestrange is The Tempest’s love, sex, and relationships advice column. Have a question? Send it to Madame Lestrange here.  It’s anonymous!

Dear Madame Lestrange, 

So I’m 14, and I really want to know if it’s okay for me to give blowjobs. I’ve done it before, and I don’t feel guilty or bad about it, but I don’t want to do it if it’s wrong. My friends don’t think it’s wrong. I don’t think it’s wrong. I’m keeping it from my parents because they would freak out. Is this a bad thing to do?

Sincerely, 

Just wondering



Dear Just Wondering,

There’s a couple of things I’d like to touch upon here. 

There is nothing wrong with giving blowjobs as long as you are being safe and are doing it with someone that you trust and who respects you. Safe sex is extremely important and STD’s can still be passed through oral sex so make sure that he is wearing a condom in order to completely protect yourself. You have said that you don’t feel guilty or bad and that’s good! It tells me that you don’t feel pressured into giving a blowjob and are comfortable in doing so. 

You know your family situation better than anyone, you know how your parents will react to this so you need to make the decision whether to tell them or not. It does not make you a bad person if you choose not to. At the end of the day, as long as you’re safe and happy, it’s between you and your partner, don’t care too much about the opinion of other people, and definitely don’t seek out their validation.

Trust is an important part of any sexual act. Make sure that you know that you trust the person you are being intimate with and that they won’t use this information in a way that could hurt you. You should never do anything if you don’t feel that you can trust the person, and that has nothing to do with age. No matter how old you are you should never feel pressured or worried that is the person will betray your trust.

You’re welcome,

Madame Lestrange 

More Dear Madame Lestrange

I’m planning on having sex with my boyfriend soon. It’ll be my first time but not his and while I’m very excited, I’m also very nervous. I want to make this a pleasurable experience for us both and I have no idea what I’m doing. I gave him my first handjob too and while he did cum, I feel like I could’ve done better. Do you have any tips?

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  • Madame Lestrange

    Someone once told her that their sex life was only as good as it is because they listened to her. That could be you.

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