Dear Madame Lestrange is The Tempest’s love, sex, and relationships advice column. Have a question? Send it to Madame Lestrange here.  It’s anonymous!

Dear Madame Lestrange, 

I haven’t really masturbated before and I am a little bit nervous!

How do you masturbate for beginners and what apps would you suggest to help? 


Dear Clueless,

Being nervous is completely normal, it’s a new experience!

More so, because we’re taught that our intimate areas are off-limits and that only adds to the stress involved.

But let me tell you, there’s nothing to be nervous about! The first thing I would suggest is: explore, explore, explore. See what you like and what you don’t. There isn’t a set way to masturbate, some people prefer to use toys whilst others can get off using their hands alone.

The only way to know the best way for you is to try out a bunch of different things. You might find that you are a bit dry or, if you have a penis, lube might help.

You can buy this from any sex shop and it makes it all the more enjoyable and definitely easier. 

For apps, there’s a range of exciting ones, it depends on what you are looking for!

I’ve added a few below to start you off (and get you off):

Dipsea: This app is a lot like guided meditation but it helps to get you off. It’s a collection of short audio stories and is for people of all genders. 

Happy time: This app is primarily for people with a vagina. The aim is to get people educated about masturbation and be comfortable with pleasuring yourself! This app is free. 

Sex positive: This is about counteracting the fears and misinformation about sexuality. It gives information about what happens when a part of the body touches another and so you can always be informed!

I’ve linked an article written by one of our writers about apps to help you further. You can find it here.

You’re welcome,

Madame Lestrange 

More Dear Madame Lestrange

I’m planning on having sex with my boyfriend soon. It’ll be my first time but not his and while I’m very excited, I’m also very nervous. I want to make this a pleasurable experience for us both and I have no idea what I’m doing. I gave him my first handjob too and while he did cum, I feel like I could’ve done better. Do you have any tips?

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  • Madame Lestrange

    Someone once told her that their sex life was only as good as it is because they listened to her. That could be you.