For Muslims in Bangladesh, a wedding is one of the most important and special rituals of life. Once the dates for the week-long celebration are set, and wedding planning is in full swing, the families of the bride and groom decorate their respective homes with flowers and elaborate lighting to let all passersby know a wedding is happening. Lavish invitation cards are printed and sent out, stage decorations are chosen, and a delicious menu is decided on.
A common tradition is for the groom’s family to purchase all wedding attire, accessories, and cosmetics for the bride and vice versa – this is symbolic of the joining of two families. The night before the first event, everything, plus lots of sweets and fruits, is packed up in a suitcase and decorative trays and sent over to each other’s homes.
Here’s a quick fun fact: weddings are more frequent during the winter season in Bangladesh. This tradition historically comes from agricultural practices. Rice fields are harvested in the winter and once they’re harvested, farmers have a month or so of time off. With this fresh rice, families make pitha (sweets and pastries of various kinds), which are an important part of all weddings. Weddings were thus scheduled to be during this off-season for farmers and the practice continues in urban areas, also due to the fact that the weather is pleasant, and schools are closed.
Now that the bride’s gold has been bought and her henna done, let me take you through all the intricacies of a Muslim Bangladeshi wedding.
Gaye Holud
Sometimes, the bride and groom have two separate Gaye Holud events. For the bride’s event, the groom’s family and friends, all except for the groom, attend and vice versa. However, nowadays, it is more common to have one Gaye Holud for both the bride and groom.
Akth (Also referred to as the “Niqah”)
This is the wedding ceremony. It can be conducted in the bride’s home, a mosque, the wedding venue, or another venue of the bride’s family’s choosing. The ceremony is conducted by a kazi who first reads specific Qur’anic verses to begin the service. At this point, the bride and groom are surrounded by their closest family members. The kazi then asks the bride and groom each three times, “Do you consent to this marriage? If you consent, say ‘Qubool.’” The bride and groom each must say ‘Qubool’ (the equivalence of “I do”) each time, loud enough for surrounding witnesses to hear. After this, the mahr is decided upon. The mahr is a form of payment given to the bride; it can be a large amount of money, fine jewelry, furniture, dwelling, land, etc. This will forever solely belong to the bride and she may use it in any way she wishes.
Biye
This program is a celebration of the wedding ceremony; it is not a reception. Hundreds of people are invited to this event, and the venue is extravagantly decorated with a separate stage for the bride and groom, now officially husband and wife, to sit and be ogled by guests. The ambiance is meant to be enchanting and regal.
The bride and her family arrive at the venue first and set up a barricade of people and ribbon at the entrance so the groom and groom’s family can’t enter. The groom is required to pay the amount of money the bride’s family asks for in order to enter the venue, and the two families spend several minutes bartering over the price.
Bou Bhat
Literally translated to “bride rice,” this is essentially the reception put on by the groom’s family and decorated similarly to the Biye. Again, hundreds of people are invited, and more eating, more dressing up, and more celebrating happens at this event traditionally set to happen one to two days after the Biye. This marks the end of the wedding festivities and the beginning of the happily ever after.
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