Dear Madame Lestrange is The Tempest’s love, sex, and relationships advice column. Have a question? Send it to Madame Lestrange here.  It’s anonymous!

Dear Madame Lestrange,

I am a girl and I thought I was straight until I met this one girl and now I am questioning my sexuality. I find her really attractive but I can’t imagine kissing her, but that might be because she is younger than me. Am I still straight? Or am I just scared of society? I don’t know… 

—Hot and bothered



Dear Hot and Bothered,

Questioning your sexuality is 100% normal and you shouldn’t feel ashamed of that. In fact, most people whether they openly say it or not do go through this process so it’s completely normal. 

Unfortunately, I can’t answer the question of whether or not you are straight, that is only something that you can answer. There is nothing wrong with experimenting to find out how you really feel.

Some people only really know after they have had some form of interaction with the same sex. Ultimately, there’s no harm in trying out different things. We all tend to find people attractive but when you are attracted to someone, it’s definitely different and you can feel it. Age doesn’t really matter, obviously unless the person is a minor and is unable to consent. 

Society is always something that people worry about. Whilst it’s true that the world has become a more accepting place, there is still a huge taboo around same-sex relationships in so many cultures so I understand your fear.

Saying that you have a right to be who you are in whichever way you choose to manifest that. There are always going to be people who will accept you for being your most authentic self and those are the people you should hold on to. 

No matter where you are from, no matter the culture there is nothing shameful about being gay or bisexual. If you are, take pride in that because you deserve to be you.

You’re Welcome,

Madame Lestrange

More Dear Madame Lestrange

I’m planning on having sex with my boyfriend soon. It’ll be my first time but not his and while I’m very excited, I’m also very nervous. I want to make this a pleasurable experience for us both and I have no idea what I’m doing. I gave him my first handjob too and while he did cum, I feel like I could’ve done better. Do you have any tips?

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Madame Lestrange

By Madame Lestrange

Advice Columnist, Love & Sex