11 ways you can gain your confidence back

I’ve always had trouble with my self confidence because I’ve had an issue with thinking everyone hates me. I lost my own self confidence, and it took so much to build it back up. Regaining confidence, or even gaining it in the first place takes continuous time and effort. A common misconception is that you can have confidence as long as you say it. In reality, you have to have determination and grit in self improvement and growth. However, if you’re having trouble with finding ways to gain your confidence back, here are 11 ways you can improve your self confidence.

1. Follow an affirmations Instagram account.

[Image Description: A light box reading "Reach for the" and a moon next to it.] Photo by Designecologist from Pexels — [Image Description: A light box reading “Reach for the” and a moon next to it.] Photo by Designecologist from Pexels

Contrary to popular belief, social media can be an empowering network if used the proper way. An affirmation is a statement of emotional support or confidence. For example, the statement, “You are beautiful,” is an affirmation. Affirmations can greatly help with self confidence because even simply hearing or seeing those words that you are amazing can help your brain see that you truly are wonderful. They help you keep in control of your life and more.

2. Help someone else

[Image Description: Two hands reaching for each other.] Photo by youssef naddam on Unsplash

As crazy as it may sound, helping someone else does result in helping yourself. The satisfaction from helping a friend, family member, or even a stranger is incomparable to any feeling in the world. Let’s face it– being selfless makes you feel crazy good.

3. Set a routine and stick to it.

[Image Description: A bullet journal calendar with a yellow pen laying on it.] Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash

This is something I’ve been doing personally. Every day I get up at 9 AM, exercise and have a shift at work for two hours. The accomplishment I feel after that work shift is one of the best feelings ever. It makes me feel as though I could do anything. If I can stick to a routine, I can love and believe in myself, right?

4. Set smaller goals for your day

[Image Description: Piece of paper with words, "Goal Review" and three pens laying on it.] Photo by Isaac Smith on Unsplash — [Image Description: Piece of paper with words, “Goal Review” and three pens laying on it.] Photo by Isaac Smith on Unsplash

Setting bigger goals for smaller amounts of time is setting yourself up for failure. For example, saying that you will finish an entire book in one hour is unreasonable, unless it’s an incredibly small book, or you can read extremely fast. Setting smaller goals, and chunking them make them much more achievable. After reaching those goals, a similar sense of satisfaction and confidence will appear. Knowing that you could reach that goal helps you be more confident in your abilities.

5. Dress up sometimes

[Image Description: A woman stands in a white romper on stairs.] Photo by gbarkz on Unsplash

In quarantine, we often end up wearing our pjs all day. Honestly, it kind of makes me feel crappy when I’m in my pjs. I feel unproductive when I’m still in bed at 2 PM. Dressing nicely can force us to get out of bed and actually do something. It’ll also help you feel more successful and presentable.

6. Smile

[Image Description: A long brown-haired woman smiles at the camera.] Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

This is easy to say, but hard to actually do. Our minds can sometimes be hardwired to think negatively– especially when we see this much negativity happen around us with COVID. However, being positive can make you feel infinitely better about yourself. Becoming aware of your speaking and what you say about yourself– for example, are you saying i can and i am or the opposite– can allow you to view yourself in a different light. The Facial Feedback Theory in Psychology also states that your physical self can affect your mental self. This means that if you smile or laugh, you’re more likely to also feel the same afterwards.

7. Focus on the solutions

[Image Description: A solved rubric cube held in a hand.] Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

It’s very easy to hyperfocus on what’s wrong with everything; what’s wrong with you. If you lost your confidence, don’t focus on the fact that you lost it. Focus on the ways you can get it back. When you focus on the solutions, you will also automatically become more productive. Fixing the problem is more important than the problem itself.

8. Practice gratitude

[Image Description: A pink notebook with the words, "Today I am grateful" on it.] Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash — [Image Description: A pink notebook with the words, “Today I am grateful” on it.] Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

Simply being grateful for the things that you have not only is a self care practice, but can also increase your confidence. Self love, care, and confidence all come hand-in-hand, so it’s important to practice gratitude to lead a healthier lifestyle. Being grateful is incredibly humbling and can improve the way you see yourself.

9. Drink more water and eat healthy

[Image Description: Water being poured into an almost full glass of water.] Photo by KOBU Agency on Unsplash

Physical and mental health health are interrelated. Your physical health can affect your mental health and vice versa. This means, if you want your self confidence, image, esteem, or anything to improve, you’ve got to focus on treating your body right. Knowing that you drank that extra glass of water, and chose to treat your body right can be incredibly empowering. However, do it because you want to. Do it because you love being healthy. If you prefer to eat a different diet, then respect that and be confident in your decision.

10. Face your fears

[Image Description: Man wearing brown leather shoes stands on an object at a height.] Photo by Dalton Touchberry on Unsplash

Again, this is easier said than done. However, facing your fears means confronting whatever is stopping you from being confident and believing in yourself. Getting back control means attempting to eliminate irrational fears. Conquering your fears can help you gain a great deal of confidence because you feel more in control. Although this is difficult to do, there is an immense amount of self satisfaction and confidence that it will bring.

11. Step outside your comfort zone

[Image Description: Person wearing gold wedding band grasps onto another hand for comfort.] Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Whether it be trying a new food, or quitting your job to pursue your real passion, do it. Doing something you’re uncomfortable with will only make you more comfortable with it. Being comfortable with the unknown is confidence. Knowing that you can take on anything in your way is confidence. And by stepping outside of your comfort zone, you can do exactly that.

Everyone works in different ways, these are just some tried and tested ways that helped me on my journey of rebuilding my confidence.

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