1. “Is that your real hair?”

[Image Description: Joan Crawford smiling and walking away saying, “There’s a name for you, ladies but it isn’t used in high society outside of a kennel.”] via Giphy

This is a common question we’re all tired of getting. Don’t you know that saying, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?”

2. The lace refusing to blend.

[Image Description: A chihuahua sitting on a tartan blanket, wearing a blonde wig.] via Giphy

Now, for beginners, this is the greatest mission. I remember someone asking me if I knew my band-aid had hair. Yup. That’s how bad it was.

3. Hot days are the worst

[Image Description: A woman wearing a blue cap and blonde wig talks to her friend saying, “Girl, I’m not sweating out my lace wig.”] via Giphy

Days like these you need to break out the industrial glue. I had to borrow a friend’s cap because the wig had given out. Embarrassment averted!

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4. …especially when the wig starts to slide.

[Image Description: A woman sleeping and her wig slides off.] via Giphy

Okay, sometimes neither the weather nor sweat can be blamed for your wig’s lack of cooperation.

5. People assuming you have no hair.

[Image Description: Woman in pink dress singing removes wig.] via Giphy

The majority of Black girls wear wigs because they’re a great protective style, FYI.

6. People straining their eyes to find the lace.

[Image Description: A young man stares intensely.] via Giphy

Staring at people is rude. Some people just don’t get the memo.

7. The first time you take it off in front of your significant other.

[Image Description: A blonde woman in a gold dress takes off a man’s wig.] via Giphy

This is kind of a big deal. A lot of girls feel incredibly insecure about this, especially when they don’t know how their partner will react. It can be a huge milestone as it’s an incredibly vulnerable moment.

8. Finding the right wig glue is IMPOSSIBLE!

[Image Description: A young boy in Northwestern sports shirt cries.] via Giphy

There’s no such thing as the perfect lace glue. When you do find it, it feels like finding a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

9. You get questions about why you don’t wear your natural hair.

[Image Description: Rihanna with a red wig looks to the side.] via Giphy

Honestly, what people do with their hair is no-one’s business.

10. People say you’re trying to be white.

[Image Description: Obama looking confused.] via Giphy

Okay….no.

11. White people claim it’s cultural appropriation.

[Image Description: A man with glasses says, “that’s totally inappropriate”] via Giphy

I consider Twitter a place where brain cells go to die.

12. Your significant other feels like they have 3 girlfriends.

[Image Description: A woman in a cheetah print gown with interchanging wigs.] via Giphy

The constant wig changes make your partner feel like they’re dating different people. Who are you today, Maggie from marketing or Candy from accounts?

13. YouTubers advertising the WORST hair companies.

[Image Description: Obama with two microphones in his face says, “I was a little hurt by that.”] via Giphy

I’ll never forget when I naively trusted a certain influencer who claimed the hair company she used was the best and, even better, that she had a discount code. Never again.

14. “Are you insecure? Is that it? Do you secretly hate yourself?”

[Image Description: Zendaya rolls her eyes.] via Giphy

So, there’s this assumption that if you wear wigs you’re a self-hating, insecure girl. This isn’t at all true. If anything it takes confidence to wear a wig. The most confident women wear wigs: Rihanna, Katy Perry, Lady Gaga. Should I continue?

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15. Treating your wig like your baby.

[Image Description: Wig on mannequin head being sprayed.] via Giphy

Because it kinda is. You take it everywhere, you clean it, make sure it’s safe and comfortable. It’s practically family.

16. Getting the parting right feels like a mission.

[Image Description: A woman looks down despondently.] via Giphy

That elusive parting. It feels almost impossible to get it right.

17. Your teacher not recognizing you.

[Image Description: Dwight from The Office wears a variety of wigs as a disguise.] via Giphy

I remember a teacher in a lecture asking me for my name. I’d literally had coffee with her in her office the day before.

18. Your wig can be your greatest accessory or your greatest weapon.

[Image Description: A woman removes her wig angrily.] via Giphy

We’ve all seen it on reality TV. They take off their wigs and start fighting their opponent. This multipurpose use of wigs is admirable and resourceful.

19. Wigs are addicting.

[Image Description: A woman in a light blue blazer says, “It’s addictive, right?”] via Giphy

You’re your own Barbie! It’s like being in your own music video every day. Once you make that first swipe, it’s a long dark road ahead for your bank account.

20. Wash days are extremely therapeutic.

[Image Description: A monkey being brushed by a small comb.] via Giphy

I look forward to this. Lather, rinse, repeat.

21. Feeling like a baddie every time you wear one.

[Image Description: A man wearing a pink wig flaunts it.] via Giphy

‘Cause let’s be honest, you look bomb every time you wear it.

 

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https://thetempest.co/?p=145926
Danai Nesta Kupemba

By Danai Nesta Kupemba

Editorial Fellow