So, for fear of sounding like a grandparent, I’m going to say what we’re all thinking. Dating has changed and some things it has brought with it really suck. There’s been a rise in casual dating and the consequence of it means that ghosting has become acceptable and, to an extent, the norm.

Ghosting is basically when you ignore someone. You stop answering messages, you stop picking up calls, you just…dissappear. Poof. Ghosting complete!

There’s a number of reasons why a person may ghost:

1. They are done with the person they were talking to and cannot be bothered to communicate that.

2. They are scared of the feelings that they have for that person and don’t know how to deal with it.

3. The person is abusive, and for their own safety, they ghost.

Now, I’m never going to sit here and pretend that there is no reason to ghost somebody, nor am I going to pretend I haven’t. The only reason to ghost someone that is legitimate is when you are in fear of them and you have told them that you do not want to be contacted by them.

Moreover, many social media sites allow you to block a person which means that they will not be able to contact you in any way.

If this is you, then this article is not for you.

If you’re part of the other part of the population then I’m sorry, you’re a coward.

Casual dating is fine when both parties are aware of what is happening. My last ‘relationship’ (if you can call it that) was such. I’m pretty sure he was also sleeping with other people but I didn’t care because I knew where I stood.

But the key thing about this is communication. If both parties are on the same page, then great! Everything is peachy and you and your potential other are in a respectful situationship.

However, if you’re in either the first or second band, then you need to mature a little. When you enter any kind of relationship with another person, be that romantic or platonic, you have a responsibility to that person.

You should still treat them with respect and communicate your feelings with them. I think it is better to hurt someone with the truth than the fear of not knowing.

For me, if you are incapable of conveying your feelings, you are clearly not responsible enough to be getting into a relationship.

For many, ghosting is the easy way out. It means that you don’t have to deal with the impact you have on another person and listen to the hurt that you have put them through.

I refuse to allow people to ghost me because I think it’s childish. For me, you either tell me you don’t want to hear/speak to me or you never enter my life. I do not have time for people who cannot process their emotions and so choose to be a coward.

My ex chose to do this, and I made sure that I got an answer from him. In short, he told me that all he wanted me for was sex, and once I refused, he was done with me.

Now, the man was awful and I will never forgive him. But in the end, he told me what he wanted and so I happily blocked him and have not spoken to him since. I don’t need to. In the end, I knew where I stood and it wasn’t a position I liked.

If you think that you need to ghost someone because you cannot process your emotions – do yourself and the other person a favor: tell them you are a child incapable of making mature decisions.

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  • Aafiyah Shaikh

    Aafiyah is a graduate from Lancaster University with a BA in International Relations. In her spare time, she loves writing poetry, and dismantling racist and patriarchal structures