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23 things that happen when you’re obsessed with true crime

*Watches documentary about Ted Bundy* *Immediately does a Google image search*

1. You’re constantly encountering people who think you’re in it for the blood and gore.

A young woman with blonde hair inhales, with blood spread over her face and chin.
A young woman with blonde hair inhales, with blood spread over her face and chin. (via giphy.com)

“No, auntie/Mrs. Jones/server at my favorite local restaurant, I am not in this for the crime scene photos or gruesome details.”

2. That being said, there’s nothing cooler than meeting someone else who gets it.

A girl with dark hair and light skin stares toward the left while saying, "I myself am strange and unusual." (via giphy.com)
A girl with dark hair and light skin stares toward the left while saying, “I myself am strange and unusual.” (via giphy.com)

It’s always so rewarding when, after tentatively testing the waters with dreaded small talk, you find a kindred spirit willing to exchange notes on all things true crime.

Now that’s friendship.

3. True crime podcasts are like your bedtime stories. Turn one on, and you’re out like a light.

A young man with brown hair and earphones on struggles as he is sucked into his mattress. (via giphy.com)
A young man with brown hair and earphones on struggles as he is sucked into his mattress. (via giphy.com)

Insomnia? Never met her. Night terrors? Not a problem here.

Nothing soothes you more than a good old fashioned breakdown of a case you already know about or new details from a developing story.

4. And, speaking of true crime podcasts, you’ve probably already figured out if you’re a Karen or a Georgia.

Hands rearrange Scrabble tiles so they spell MURDER. (via giphy.com)
Hands rearrange Scrabble tiles so they spell MURDER. (via giphy.com)

You’re a murderino, and proud of it. And if you aren’t?

Well, it’s a good thing that you’re up to date with all the amazing podcasts out there and have your favorites locked, loaded and on instant download.

5. You also listened to Serial before it was cool.

A woman with blonde hair and a blue dress, and a woman with dark hair and a black dress, stand together and say, "Been there, done that." (via giphy.com)
A woman with blonde hair and a blue dress, and a woman with dark hair and a black dress stand together and say, “Been there, done that.” (via giphy.com)

(You were also totally disappointed when the second season turned out to not be a deeper look into Adnan Syed’s case or even focused on a murder at all. Ah well.)

6. There are never enough documentaries on Netflix for your taste.

A middle-aged man with dark hair, a white beard and dual-colored glasses (the left side red while the right side is blue) leans forward with a remote in hand. (via giphy.com)

You’ve seen Evil Genius, finished Conversations with a Killer and binged on Amanda Knox. Netflix, what’s good? Keep it coming!

7. 911 recordings are harrowing but they also have you putting your Sherlock Holmes hat on.

A young woman with blonde hair raises her hand to her chest while speaking. (via giphy.com)
A young woman with blonde hair raises her hand to her chest while speaking. (via giphy.com)

They can be heartbreaking and emotional, but they can also contain valuable clues. Why does that neighbor sound so detached? Who was that second voice in the background? You never know what you could stumble on!

8. Nothing frustrates you more than an unsolved case.

Unsolved Mysteries. (via giphy.com)
Unsolved Mysteries. (via giphy.com)

It’s been twenty years. How could justice not be served for so long? Are there really no leads left to follow?

It’s particularly hard sometimes to know that there are families out there who haven’t had any answers. And – this is the real creepy part – there may be killers still walking among us who have never been caught.

9. Or shoddy police work.

A small dog rushes down a hallway, while another small dog follows in a police car costume with a police officer hat on its head. (via giphy.com)
A small dog rushes down a hallway, while another small dog follows in a police car costume with a police officer hat on its head. (via giphy.com)

Every time you hear the words, “The crime scene was compromised,” you can’t help but headdesk. Was it really that hard to keep all the neighbors and reporters and a random guy walking his dog off the property until the caution tape went up?

10. That being said, you’re pretty sure that, given the opportunity, you could totally bust open a cold case one day.

A man with light hair steps forward, saying, "Join me. Perhaps you will be able help solve a mystery." (via giphy.com)
A man with light hair steps forward, saying, “Join me. Perhaps you will be able to help solve a mystery.” (via giphy.com)

All those hours of reading court depositions, Forensic Files and Unsolved Mysteries can’t fail you now! You’re made for this. Somewhere along the line, there was a missed connection or loose thread, and you’re going to be the person who brings it to the light.

11. You’ve become “that person” who is particular about the details of any given case.

A woman with light hair and a pink dress says, "I said what I said," while moving her hand. (via giphy.com)

Actually, guys, it was Mrs. Peacock in the library with a candlestick.

If you’re going to talk about it, get it right! (But in all seriousness, nothing is a bigger pet peeve for you than when people start blurting out details in a case that never happened. Amateurs.)

12. Mainly because, if you’re honest, as soon as you read about a new case, you’re on Google putting faces to names and digging for more information.

A woman with dark hair and brown skin, wearing a pink shirt, holds a phone and says, "I'm going to look that up." (via giphy.com)
A woman with dark hair and brown skin, wearing a pink shirt, holds a phone and says, “I’m going to look that up.” (via giphy.com)

It helps things feel more real. And who knows how that little detail about the murder weapon might come in handy in the future? It might be the winning answer for Jeopardy! one night.

13. You regret your late nights reading creepy Wikipedia articles, but you won’t quit them for anything.

A puppet frog raises a hand to its lips and shakes nervously. (via giphy.com)
A puppet frog raises a hand to its lips and shakes nervously. (via giphy.com)

It was probably a mistake to read about the Setagaya family murder after midnight, but when has that stopped you before? Every linked article is a new well of information that fuels both your curiosity and your nightmares.

14. You have your own theories for particular high-profile cases. “The Staircase,” anyone?

A woman with light hair turns and says, "I love a conspiracy." (via giphy.com)
A woman with light hair turns and says, “I love a conspiracy.” (via giphy.com)

Just, please, don’t let it be the owl theory. (Who even believes in the owl theory?)

15. And, speaking of those cases, you can also tell which new thriller was based off a famous murder.

An older woman with light hair wearing glasses, and holding a book and a tea mug, says, "Oh my." (via giphy.com)
An older woman with light hair wearing glasses, and holding a book and a tea mug, says, “Oh my.” (via giphy.com)

Whether it is Emma Cline’s spin off the Manson family or the classic In Cold Blood, you can tell as soon as you read the first page. And, knowing you, you’ll be fact-checking against the original details the whole time to see exactly where that artistic license starts to kick in.

16. Yes, you’ve read “The Stranger Beside Me.” As a matter of fact, you may have read it twice.

A woman with brown skin and dark hair reads a newspaper and then looks to the right. (via giphy.com)
A woman with dark hair reads a newspaper and then looks to the right. (via giphy.com)

Ann Rule was the queen of true crime and you definitely don’t forget it. (She also totally fulfilled your dreams of being close to a case and shedding new light on nearly every aspect of it. Can you say legend?)

17. Ted Bundy is not the serial killer that fascinates (or frightens) you the most.

Two men with dark hair sit together and laugh. (via giphy.com)
Two men with dark hair sit together and laugh. (via giphy.com)

Spoiler alert: Ted Bundy is not handsome, or charming. He’s a total narcissist and a monster of a man. Next.

18. You’ve considered going to school – or going back to school – for criminology or forensic science, or even law enforcement.

A man with brown skin and dark hair says, "You should take Forensics." (via giphy.com)
A man with brown skin and dark hair says, “You should take Forensics.” (via giphy.com)

Forensic Files fascinates you. You have dreams of working on “Death’s Acre” one day. How could you not at least think about it at some point? Hey, it could work out.

19. Your views on the death penalty are like a Facebook relationship status: “it’s complicated.”

Relationship status. (via giphy.com)
Relationship status. (via giphy.com)

You’re constantly torn between the victims and the thought of potentially innocent men. It’s never as simple as it used to seem, but you can’t help trying to choose one side over the other.

20. You constantly wonder if you’ve had a creepy encounter without ever realizing it.

A little girl with dark hair turns and smiles at the camera. (via giphy.com)
A little girl with dark hair turns and smiles at the camera. (via giphy.com)

Apparently, out of the 717,215 people, the average American will likely meet over their life, approximately 10 will be a killer. That’s good to know. Right?

21. That being said, you’re also more aware of your surroundings than you used to be.

A man with light hair and an artificial eye strapped across his face says, "Constant vigilance." (via giphy.com)
A man with light hair and an artificial eye strapped across his face says, “Constant vigilance.” (via giphy.com)

Who isn’t going to wear a pair of headphones in the middle of the night while crossing a deserted street? You, that’s who!

22. You’ve learned to trust your gut instinct.

A woman with light skin and dark hair leans away from the camera and says, "That's a red flag." (via giphy.com)
A woman with light skin and dark hair leans away from the camera and says, “That’s a red flag.” (via giphy.com)

From your friend’s sketchy new date to that car idling on a street corner, you tend to listen to yourself when you feel that something around you isn’t quite right. And then, you nope! out. Smart thinking!

23. Most importantly, thanks to true crime, you feel like you’re prepared to protect yourself and others.

A woman, seen through a window, with dark hair and brown skin, holds up a sign that says, "Don't trust him," and flips it to say, "Watch out, girl." (via giphy.com)
A woman, seen through a window, with dark hair and brown skin, holds up a sign that says, “Don’t trust him,” and flips it to say, “Watch out, girl.” (via giphy.com)

After all, that’s what got you into true crime, to begin with. You’re all about knowing how to look out for yourself and the people you love. The more you know about how terrible things can be, the better prepared you are to make sure it never happens to you or anyone else.