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My no chill, totally unabridged, SPOILER-Y reaction to “Avengers: Endgame”

Do not read this article. I repeat: do not read this article if you haven't seen the movie yet.

In the most amazing feat of my life, I was lucky enough to go see a free screening of Avengers: Endgame last night. I’ve been waiting for the movie half of my life – I’ve been following the MCU since I was 10. I stood in line for hours, finishing homework – the student life never ends – and making friends, and eventually got into the theatre.

Over the next three hours, I was mesmerized by almost every moment as the mystery behind the movie meant that I had no one idea what would happen (I managed to escape spoilers!) and was thus fully immersed in the movie.

The short version is that Avengers: Endgame was amazing and brilliant and officially my favorite movie in all of Marvel history.

The long version is as follows…

Nat did not have to die.

I am still confused as to how it had to be her, who decided this? I legit cannot come up with any reason as to why it had to be her. And I’m also mad because I can’t think of anyone else who should have died for the Soul Stone, either.

The fatphobic ‘jokes’ constantly made against Thor throughout the movie were extremely bothersome and wrong and unnecessary. If you have to turn to fatphobia in order to think you’re funny, then you’re not actually funny. It was the only thing I disliked about the movie, to be honest, and I’m quite disappointed that Marvel thought the ‘jokes’ were okay.

All the kids? They’re so grown! I mean, first off, I’m still confused as to how Cassie Lang looks as old as she does – I know it’s an age-up but she really aged up. And then we have one of Clint’s kids who honestly should be the next Hawkeye. And then WE HAVE MORGAN FREAKING STARK! Imagine Morgan and Peter and Harley (aka the kid from Iron Man 3, in case you hadn’t recognized him) having scenes together.

My heart.

Can we please take a minute to appreciate the peace and balance of Bruce and Hulk? We stan a man who went from attempting suicide to finally figuring himself out and being confident about it. Like, actually, even when he was nervous while figuring out time travel, Hulk/Bruce seemed so much more stable and put together than he has ever seemed in the past and I am so happy about that. Also, I can totally see him be an Instagram influencer after that scene with the kids who wanted to take a picture with him.

Carol Danvers should have had more appearances in the movie and I will fight anyone and everyone about this.

The woman is ridiculously powerful and kind and funny and an amazing human being (as previously seen in the Captain Marvel movie) but she was barely touched on in this movie. As a friend said, Carol was simply the “big guns” of the team and didn’t get to have as many interactions with the team as I hoped/wanted.

That quick (pampering?) women empowerment moment in the final battle sequence was AWESOME but it was quick… too little. Don’t get me wrong, I screamed and shouted “GO WOMEN!” as I pumped my fist in the air but, looking back, I just wish there were also smaller scenes dedicated to the women, as there were so many times for the men. 

Thor and Captain America both being worthy of Mjolnir and Stormbreaker was an amazing, shocking moment that I didn’t see coming, even though it was set up so perfectly in Avengers: Age of Ultron. When the hammer was moved to save Thor, the theatre unanimously went YES! When it was shown as Steve being worthy and holding the hammer, though? The entire theatre had NO CHILL! We all yelled and screamed and shouted and, if we hadn’t been sitting in recliner seats, probably would have jumped out of our seats.

Now to the elephant in the room, Tony dying. It’s fitting that he did so killing his greatest enemy, but I was still shocked when Tony died as a result of using the gauntlet. Sure, it makes sense as humans with even one Infinity Stone don’t survive, but, my favorite character, dead? The reason and beginning of the MCU, dead? My heart didn’t want to accept it. The entire time that it was happening, I kept hope that he would be able to live. I was thinking that in some magical, Iron Man 3-like moment, his wounds could be treated and he’d be saved. When I heard Tony’s voice as part of the hologram, before we saw it was a hologram, I had a glimmer of hope. But, in the end, that didn’t happen and I still haven’t fully processed it.

The final scene where Cap goes to return each of the stones and then comes back as an older man was both surprising and completely right.

I mean, as my friend later pointed out, due to how the Sorcerer Supreme explained the timelines, Cap getting to be with Peggy and then returning to our timeline as an old man kind of broke the rules. Nonetheless, I was so happy when Steve handed over his shield to Sam. I was still surprised that they actually followed the storyline from the Captain America comics. I’m assuming that the Falcon & Winter Soldier series on Disney’s upcoming streaming service, Disney+, will be about Sam’s journey as Cap, so I’m interested to see how Sam will take the role and the mantle.

Overall, I loved Avengers: Endgame.

Part of it is the movie, of course, however, most of it is also the experience itself, it’s the movie of a lifetime. Looking back now, I am still in shock over how my experience turned out, as well as how the movie played out. I’m ridiculously happy about 90% of everything that happened and would give it full marks.