Picture your wedding. What would be the most important aspect that you would like to remember? Chances are, it’s neither going to be the money spent on it nor the compliments by some random relatives or Facebook likes on your pictures that will make it wonderful. It’s going to be the happy memories you create that day.
I’m not immune to seeing all the hype around the wedding season. As with any wedding, there is the good and the bad.
The good consists of heartwarming speeches delivered by the close friends of the bride and groom, the sweet vows professed by the couple to each other, and the adoring looks between the couple and their loved ones.
Then the bad comes with judgmental relatives and the inevitable stress of making sure everything goes as smoothly as desired, and maybe your aching cheekbones that feel like they’re about to fall from all that smiling for photos.
A wedding thus isn’t “good” based on the things that were paid to make it look pretty, rather the experiences that make it special and memorable. Yet, weddings are one of the most costly endeavors within millennials in recent times.
In the United States, the average cost of wedding events in 2018 exceeded $44,000. However, regardless of whether you spend that amount or significantly less or more, a wedding is a special event that you and your significant other deserve to own the way that is best for both of you.
You’re allowed to be selfish on your wedding day – it’s a day for you and your spouse to be to celebrate your relationship and commitment to each other. Hence, it is important to focus your spending on experiences rather than things.
There is a common saying, ‘less is more’, and I find this a relevant concept when it comes to throwing a wedding. Ed Sheeran’s wedding is an example for so many of us out there planning on our budget weddings.
It was revealed recently that Sheeran had been a married man for a while before the media could find out. He married his childhood friend, Cherry Seaborn, in what he described to be a small and intimate ceremony. Sheeran expressed that he favored smaller, more private ceremonies over larger, publicity-attracting ones.
I agree with Sheeran’s idea that having a small ceremony can be better.
That doesn’t mean don’t spend a few hundred dollars on that ice sculpture that you’ve always dreamed of having at your wedding, but it is important to check your intention for doing it. Ask yourself, why do you want that sculpture? Is it to add to the magical aesthetics of the atmosphere you hope to make your wedding day memorable, or is it to add to the hype in the conversations of the wedding attendees?
If it’s the latter, then switch your spending to something for you and your spouse, not for the guests. If you dream of having a blue and purple, fantasy-themed wedding, then knock yourself out in budgeting your money towards adorning the walls with beautiful lights and the tables with flowers to complement the theme. Maybe even throw in hiring some cosplaying fairies, if that’s your thing.
Plus, when it comes to guests, it’s not about the number of guests attending, it’s about the quality of the relationships you have with them.
I liked reading about fellow Tempest writer Rafia Khader’s wedding, in which she had just three months to plan and execute the wedding. Although I was not present at her wedding, I can tell it was beautiful by the way she describes fulfilling only the three main wishes she had for her wedding.
Personally, I find budget weddings the best way to spend one’s funds, and the money saved from having a large wedding can be used by the couple for their honeymoon. And what better way for a couple to celebrate their marriage than a party for two?
And isn’t that what getting married is supposed to be about? The couple celebrating their love and the journey together?
At the end of the day, if you are getting married soon or do plan on doing so in the future, keep in mind how you want to spend your money based on what you prefer and value. Your wedding should reflect the joy that you and your partner share – a special event that should prioritize your wishes and dreams.