Humor, Life

22 of the most annoying things your female restaurant server has to deal with every day

If one more customer tells me to smile more...

By day, you can find me cozied up in my lap desk penning out articles. By night… you can still find me cozied up in my lap desk penning out articles. However, at night you can also find me with a tray full of drinks, behind the bar, running circles in two-inch heels, black dress pants… and a corset. Naturally, I deal with a lot of BS. So, here’s a list of things female servers have to deal with on the daily.

1. The difficulty of locating your one clean pair of work pants.

[A man searching for something in a very messy apartment, with things all over the floor] via Giphy
Where did you put them? Big chance, you came home super tired and tossed them into the abyss that is the chair.

2. Clocking in and immediately having to pick up five tables.

[Close up of a man screaming in horror] via Giphy
Sometimes you want a few moments to get settled.

3. People coming from the bar and sitting down with their drinks at your tables.

[A man gesturing and saying for someone to “get out”] via Giphy
Before you go immediately to the bar with the intention of sitting at a table, take a look around. Are there people walking around with trays? That means you probably should wait for your server.

4. “Do you ever get a day off?”

Image description: A blonde woman is sitting, she makes a strained, closed mouth smiles and looks defeated.

Okay, George, you’ve seen me here twice in six hours. Maybe you should consider what’s going on with your day off.

5. That moment when you think your table walked out, but they just went to the bathroom.

[A man turning toward the camera as it focuses saying “oh my god] Via Giphy
Every server has had that mini-heart attack, wondering if they’re about to be in big trouble.

6. Feeling like you’re stalking your tables because it’s slow and you have nothing else to do.

[A woman staring off into the distance. Then the gif zooms in on an open hole in the wall, where Spider-man pokes his head out to look at her.] Via Giphy
After a certain point, you know you’ve asked your table if “everything is okay” one too many times, and you don’t want to be annoying… it’s either that or pace the entire length of the restaurant several times. But you don’t want to sit in the back, because you don’t want to risk them walking out on the check.

7. “Stay in school, kid.”

[A black woman wearing all pink holding a drink pretending to vomit, while her friend laughs] Via Giphy
You’re going to be really disappointed when you find out the bartender has two degrees, and I just graduated. Stop de-legitimizing the fact that my job is a real job.

8. “You don’t plan to stay here forever, do you?”

[A white woman with dark hair, dressed in oversized glasses and a vintage-style suit jacket rolls her eyes and makes faces at the camera.] Via Giphy
No, I don’t. However, asking this question is really patronizing for those who continue to stay in this profession, whether out of choice or necessity. It can’t be so hard to understand that people actually like serving others, right?

9. Spilling a tray full of drinks.

[A white man drinking water but letting it all fall out of his mouth] Via Giphy
It’s inevitable. And now the bartender hates you, the busser hates you, your table is wondering where their vodka tonic is, and you’re drenched with various sticky substances.

10. “When is your shift over? I’ll buy you a drink.”

[Cardi Bi laughing and smiling then saying “okay” sarcastically] Via Giphy
You really think I want to hang out with you after working for eight hours on my feet? Nah, I want to go home and I want to go to bed.

11. Walking by with a tray full of drinks, and someone asks, “can I order with you?”

[Ariana Grande, a petite woman with long dark hair, putting her hands in front of her face yelling “hold on!”] Via Giphy
Like, yes. But not this moment, I’m kinda busy.

12. The flappy hand.

[A man on a basketball court jumping up and down trying to block the ball] Via Giphy
This is typically an attempt at hailing your server but just makes you look like an overzealous jerk.

Sir, you just sat down. I can see you. I’m coming. Calm down.

13. The flappy hand, mixed with indecision.

[A woman pausing and thinking and then yelling “okay!”] Via Giphy
Someone decides to flappy hand. You walk over, greet them, and ask them what they would like to order. Then they respond by flipping through the menu, ahh-ing, and umm-ing, asking their friends what they’re getting, and now we’ve all wasted precious seconds of our life we can never get back.

14. When you’re in the middle of a rush, have fifteen orders in your head, a tray full of drinks, and a man tells you to smile.

[A dog growling at someone trying to touch it’s Bud Light] Via Giphy
It lights you with the fury of a thousand suns. The world quiets to a murmur. Suddenly, it is simply you and that man alone. You do not smile. You make it a point to give this person you the ugliest, most disgusting scowl you could possibly accomplish.

And then you resume your far more important work.

15. “Wow, you’re pretty.”

[A black man with a beard and large afro speaks into a microphone and says “that is correct.”] Via Giphy
Yes, this is a compliment, but it is inevitable that every lady server gets them all the time.

To the point where it’s annoying. Not to mention, if you don’t reply like it’s the first compliment you’ve ever gotten in your life, they’re almost offended.

16. Getting poked, grabbed or otherwise prodded.

[A man in a fedora trying to touch a woman on the sidewalk. She bats his hand away multiple times.] Via Giphy
Yes, thank you for the violation of personal space.

17. Having to endure long stories with a series of smile and nods… when you have 4 other tables waiting to order.

[A black man blankly smiling and nodding in a kitchen] Via Giphy
You don’t want to be rude, but you also super don’t have time to hear about Jennifer’s son’s goldfish dying. Sorry, Jen.

18. Having to fix your face when people say awful, offensive, or disgusting stuff.

[A woman in costume to make her look elderly in a neckbrace shaking her head and closing a laptop] Via Giphy
Suppressing an eye-roll is a true work of art.

19. Having to split the check between seven credit cards.

[A man holding a lighter up to a credit card, trying to burn it] Via Giphy
Guys. We all have Venmo now. Or, here’s a novel idea: bring cash.

20. Dealing with aggressive family and friends fighting over the bill.

[A bunch of football players getting in a fight] Via Giphy
This is sooooo uncomfortable. My tactic is usually just to walk away and let them have at it.

21. Running around for needy tables that tip you 5%.

[A video game character saying “begone, spirit. I will not play your games.”] Via Giphy
Oh. Thanks. I wish I would’ve known that before I got your stirred skinny margarita up, salted with fresh lime juice. I would’ve salted it with MY TEARS.

22. But you can’t deny, the money you can earn serving really helps.

[A woman laying on a table while money falls on top of her] Via Giphy
Sure, serving can be a lot when you’re a woman. It’s catering to endless needs, with a side of constant sexual harassment from customers. However, it’s always worth it when you count your cash at the end of the night.