Gender & Identity, Life

I spent years bullied by my teachers, and it almost made me lose my faith in God

I pretended to be fine but I wasn’t. I was dying inside.

Most children mark their school life by the memorable events they attended and every good episode they have made, but that was not the case for me. My school life led me to question if I was worthy of anything. As students, we all face favoritism, cronyism, and nepotism at some point and that’s what I faced when I was in school.

I still remember each and every instance I dealt with.

Once in chemistry class, I couldn’t understand how to make formulas. We had the information to make formulas, and my friend got the concept, but I had just barely absorbed the periodical table. These formulas were completely over my head.

I stood up in a trembling state to ask my teacher for help. She started yelling at me and her words still knock at my mind whenever I remember this incident. “Why are you not getting anything?? Am I rambling? Am I not making sense?”

I was terrified. She was not making any sense but I couldn’t tell her that.

She continued, “Everyone is getting my point and having the idea of what I am asking them to do. You are the stupidest in the class and I am not gonna repeat what I did.” This was the most shameful moment for me. I turned and saw all boys and girls staring me.

I was trying hard to blink back my tears, as I didn’t want to show I wasn’t strong enough to bear those remarks. The whole day I tried to act like nothing happened, but inner-me was wishing for the earth to open up and swallow me.

Everyone was pacifying me. I pretended to be fine but I wasn’t, I was dying inside. This wasn’t the first time she behaved like a monster, she always did to me.

I never remained in her good books.

It’s not that I was the worst student in the class, it’s just that I was average. Nobody gave me a chance to rise. My teachers always promoted those whom they liked.

Actually, they had a similarity with the British. I grew up hearing the British expression, “Our Queen can do no wrong,” and my teachers always thought that their beloved students could do no wrong.

The chance to prove myself was never given to me.

That was a quite depressing and agonizing thing for me. I thought maybe I’ll never amount to anything, but time changes and that’s exactly what happened to me. I worked hard. I wanted to show I was not the worst.

I never lost hope, and I didn’t give up.

Finally, I had my chance. I started college, and throughout my time there, I worked as a union member and was the favorite of almost all teachers. In college, most of the teachers asked me to participate in elections and I always won.

God started to respond me in this way and made me sure that I was worthy of almost every good thing. I started getting scholarships, and it was a proud moment for me and my family.

At last, someone had given me a chance to show my inner abilities.

I had always dreamed of achieving something big, and I began writing. My work began being read all over the world.

My life completely changed as I stepped out of that prison-like school after 10 years of humiliation.

I, the most downtrodden girl, started achieving big things. I bravely fought with horrible circumstances and made my place in the world. This was surely God’s response to my questions and prayers.

Those sleepless nights I spent crying and asking Him for help was the turning point. He helped me in proving myself, provided me with the new and best version of life, took me out of every hard situation, and gave me a life free of disgrace.

It was the moment I started trusting God that my life changed forever.