I want more than just a Pinterest-perfect wedding

I don’t want a wedding. I’ve attended a fair share of them and they’ve all seemed to follow the same formula: they’re typically held in a church, flowers everywhere, and the ceremonies usually vary from 20 minutes to two hours in length depending on what traditions are held. Then there’s the reception. A good reception is crucial to a successful wedding experience for both the couple tying the knot and their guests. There has to be amazing food, an amply-sized dance floor, and a killer DJ.

Let’s just be honest for a moment: Weddings aren’t really for the couple getting married. They’re for the families and friends who have invested in the relationship, one way or another, throughout the happy couple’s courtship. It’s not just the planning and expense that puts me off, it’s the way that the couple’s big day, turns into everyone’s big day. Don’t get me wrong, weddings can be wonderful, beautiful celebrations of love, but it is just not something I want.

[bctt tweet=”Weddings aren’t really for the couple getting married.” username=”wearethetempest”]

As an introvert, I don’t like having a lot of attention on myself and the thought of walking down an aisle in a huge dress and uncomfortable shoes fills me with nerves so violent that I’m breaking out in a nervous sweat just thinking about it. As somewhat of a minimalist, I don’t like the excess that comes with weddings either. I want simple, I want small, I want fun, I want happiness, and I want forever.

I want simple.

[Image description: couple dancing]
[Image description: A man and a woman in formal clothing doing the can-can in front of a black door. The man is holding a bottle of champagne and they both look happy. Image source]
Who says that you have to make a big to-do about saying I do? I want getting married to feel natural, not like something I have to prepare months in advance for. When you find the person – your person – that you want to be with for the rest of your life, why wait for a ceremony to begin your “forever?” “Forever” starts the moment the ring is placed on your finger. Let’s get a little bit dressy, go to the courthouse, and sign the license. Let’s be silly and take a selfie with it to put on Instagram and watch the likes and comments roll in.

I want small.

[Image description: living room routine]
[Image description: Emma Watson wearing a black dress and dancing freely in a crowd. Image source: giphy]
That’s not to say that we can’t celebrate entering the next chapter of our lives with the people we love. Instead of an engagement party, we can bring our families and closest friends together for a small reception so that they can celebrate with us. Nothing excessive or overdone; though I’d love to have a wow-factor cake. Again, the introvert in me shivers at the thought of dancing in front of people, but I’m willing to compromise when it comes to an intimate first dance.

[bctt tweet=”I don’t want anything excessive or overdone for my wedding; except the cake.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I want fun.

[Image description: adventure honeymon]
[Image description: A woman skydiving with an instructor. Herself and the person holding the camera put their hands together to form a heart. Image source: giphy]
If we decide to do a honeymoon, let’s do something that’s unique to us. If books are our thing, let’s make a trip out of visiting some of the country’s coolest bookstores and libraries. If it’s movies, let’s be that couple that goes out to Hollywood to tour iconic movie sets. If we really want to go crazy and have the money to do so, let’s just relax in the Maldives for a few days and stare at the ridiculously blue water.

I want happiness.

[Image description: carl and ellie]
[Image description: The couple from Up kissing on their wedding day. Image source: giphy]
Throughout everything, I want to be reminded of just how lucky I am to be spending the rest of my life with My Person. Someone who knows me inside and out, has seen me at my best and my worst, and accepts and loves me for all of it.

[bctt tweet=”I want to be reminded of how lucky I am to be getting married to My Person.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I want forever.

[Image description: the notebook]
[Image description: Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling from The Notebook, kissing and smiling happily. Image source: giphy]
Admittedly, I have a fear associated with not wanting a traditional wedding. I’m worried that after packing so much emotion into one day, that the spark will be gone. What makes us “us” will be lost. I want to know that every day is going to be a new adventure, that I’ll keep learning something new about them, that they’ll keep learning new things about me, and we’ll help each other learn new things about ourselves.

A wedding with beautiful dress and flowers, amazing venue, and a bridal party dressed to the nines makes for a beautiful occasion if there ever was one. But I don’t need a fluffy dress, a bunch of flowers, or a huge venue. Not to say that those things aren’t nice to have, because they are. I just prefer the low maintenance route. When I get ready to commit myself to the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, I want to make sure that our love is the center of attention.

By Jasmyne Ray

Senior Mass Communication major and Public Relations minor at the University of Montevallo and a strong advocate for mental health awareness. Believes that being surrounded by people from different walks of life provides unique opportunities to learn and understand one another.