I recently came across a video on Twitter that left me and so many other women shook.
A group of female Arab talk show hosts discussed the responsibilities of a successful woman to her family. Having to discuss this in the first place is already ridiculous since men’s successes rarely come with a list of conditions.
One of the women on the show pointed out that a successful woman must remain humble in front of her husband so that he never feels threatened by her success. According to her, a woman shouldn’t gloat of her achievements, because it will belittle her husband. Instead, a woman must make her husband feel powerful by showing him how inferior she is.
Yes, I didn’t know I could roll my eyes that far back either.
I couldn’t believe what she was saying, and the fact that some of the other female hosts were agreeing with her!
[bctt tweet=”In a world where the odds are already stacked up against women, we need partners who will be by our side no matter what. ” username=”wearethetempest”]
In a world where the odds are already stacked up against women, we need partners who will be by our side no matter what. I don’t want to have to live my life constantly afraid of outshining my husband. I want someone who is going to encourage me to aspire to greatness and someone who is going to be proud to be with me.
Why do we tell women that men’s achievements must be celebrated and praised, but they can never be proud of themselves?
Why do we teach men that it’s okay to feel emasculated by your wife’s success?
This is how we end up raising men who become violent and lash out at their significant others when they feel that their power is being stripped away. In turn, we end up raising women who feel like they must constantly cater to men’s egos.
[bctt tweet=”Why do we teach men that it’s okay to feel emasculated by your wife’s success? ” username=”wearethetempest”]
Some men are raised to believe that their masculinity is dependent on how much power they exert over others, especially the women in their lives.
That is where toxic masculinity comes into play.
When we raise men to think this way, they’ll end up feeling like less of a real man whenever a woman in their life does something that exercises her power. This idea is often so ingrained in some men’s heads that they don’t see a problem with resorting to violence to keep their masculinity intact.
[bctt tweet=”This idea is often so ingrained in some men’s heads that they don’t see a problem with resorting to violence to keep their masculinity intact. ” username=”wearethetempest”]
The TV hosts themselves were probably raised to think that they must always be wary of overpowering their husbands. But instead of realizing how toxic that can be, they’re preaching to other women to behave the same way!
Marriage is a partnership where two people lift each other up and support one another. I don’t want to feel like I must choose between living my life authentically and having a happy marriage.
We have to stop telling women to leave their accomplishments by the door every time they go home.