Weddings

My dream wedding’s gone from being a Disney wedding to Desi wedding to who knows what – and it’s all based on the guy I’m dating

I still can’t stop fantasizing about my dream wedding, even though I'm single right now.

I started to imagine my dream wedding since I was a child. I was inspired by my favorite fairytales, Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast, to come up with how I wanted my wedding to be when I grew up. I was so engrossed with anything princessy back then, so everything about my wedding had to be the perfect representation of that, just like Princess Diana’s wedding.

I imagined myself wearing a puffy, white ball gown, a huge, sparkling diamond tiara, and a half-updo hairstyle with curls on both sides on my face. It was my definition of the perfect bride. Of course, I also had to have my handsome and tall Prince Charming, making our grand entrance to the reception hall as everyone stared at us in awe.

And to top it all off, a romantic dance with my dear husband at the center of the hall with our guests watching all around us.

[bctt tweet=”I can’t wait to dance with my husband at the center of the hall with our guests watching all around us.” username=”wearethetempest”]

The fantasy remained for years until I reached my early teens and Bollywood movies began to influence my dream wedding.

Slowly, my princess dress morphed into a beautiful red lehenga. The long, white wedding veil was replaced with a gold, intricately-embroidered veil, and the tiara transformed into a tikka headpiece. In my head was a picture of myself wearing that bold, extravagant dress, full of jewelry from head to toe.

[bctt tweet=”Slowly, my princess dress morphed into a beautiful red lehenga.” username=”wearethetempest”]

As for my Prince Charming? Who he could be was still blurry as I had never dated anyone during high school. But instead of imagining a man in a suit, I pictured him wearing sherwani.

I’m not a Desi, so it was absurd and impossible for me to have a Desi wedding. After all, it wasn’t from my own culture. The only thing I could imagine doing was a flash mob with Bollywood music and dance.

Then my wedding fantasy changed again when I started my first year of college. That was when I met my first (now ex) boyfriend. A red-haired European guy, with a face full of freckles and a dimpled smile that melted my heart.

Being a hopeless romantic, my goal in a relationship has always been marriage. I was naïve, and still new to relationships; I hadn’t considered the possibility that it would fail. Just a few months after we started dating, I already had every single detail of our dream wedding on my mind.

[bctt tweet=”Being a hopeless romantic, my goal in a relationship has always been marriage.” username=”wearethetempest”]

It wasn’t a Disney princess or Desi wedding anymore. I was totally immersed in classic and elegant, outdoor wedding this time. I even sketched a wedding dress that I designed myself – a long-sleeved, lacey dress with a long train. Gone were my previous dreams in exchange for a romantic, vintage wedding that would be held in a backyard. I could clearly visualize the decorations – full of dangling red roses and petals scattered all over the ground. The thought of being a queen on that day, with him by my side, always brought a smile to my face. But as things go, the relationship didn’t last forever.

[bctt tweet=”The thought of being a queen on that day, with him by my side, always brought a smile to my face.” username=”wearethetempest”]

A year after that I dated a Palestinian guy and the preferences for my wedding changed again.

I knew little about Palestinian culture, but I wanted the long pre-wedding traditions, a few, different wedding dresses for the whole week, a large family gathering, and a dabke (Arab traditional dance). I couldn’t imagine anything else besides that. Of course, when that relationship ended I threw out this wedding idea too.

Now I am taking a break from serious relationships. Despite this, I still can’t stop fantasizing about my dream wedding, although I have no Prince Charming yet.

I realized that I needed to stop being influenced by movies and boyfriends. I finally figured out the wedding I want – a simple, but meaningful day to be remembered for the rest of my life. I want a wedding with close family members and best friends celebrating the love between myself and my future husband.

[bctt tweet=”But the most important thing to me is to enjoy my big day with the right man.” username=”wearethetempest”]

But the most important thing to me is to enjoy my big day with the right man. All the wedding fantasies I used to imagine had little to do with love and more about becoming a princess on that day. The dress, decorations, and entertainment are just details in the grand scheme of things.

I’m not saying they’re all unnecessary, in fact, they’re so much fun to think about. Trust me, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about them. But they’re not as important as the relationship you share with the person you’re ready to commit your life to. Why not look beautiful, in the perfect wedding, with someone who you’re certain is going to make you happy?