Weddings

My Desi father forgot to invite his friend to my sister’s wedding. Then his friend shocked all of us.

Planning a Desi wedding with more than 700 guests means you'll make a few mistakes.

Making the guest list for my sister’s wedding was a huge task, so we started quite some months before the wedding preparations began.

A 700 person guest list was no joke.

Each one of our family members made lists for their guests and then finally my father compiled the complete list in an Excel spreadsheet. We revised and rechecked the list several times to make sure that we weren’t missing out on anyone.

With the list divided into separate sections for relatives, colleagues, friends, and neighbors, it was all done in quite an organized manner.

Yet, despite all these efforts, my father forgot to invite one of his friends.

Replicating the norms of a typical Desi wedding, it would have been quite natural for that friend to have thrown a tantrum. You know what I mean: those aunties who consider it their duty to create an issue out of nothing.

It could be about the spiciness of the shadi food not being up to their standard, how the hosts forgot to personally call them for food, or even how the hosts forgot to call them to the stage for photos with the dulha and dulhan.

And if you dared forget to invite those aunties to your wedding; it’s over.

They would not have simply cut ties with you but would have made sure to remind you of your mistake at every family gathering and inform every single person in your social circle of it.

But my father’s friend surprised us all.

Knowing that he was a good friend of my father and that my father would have wanted him at the wedding, he came anyway! It was such a thoughtful gesture, and we were overwhelmed by the cuteness of it.

When my father saw him, he was a little embarrassed, but overjoyed. My father told us of this incident after the wedding, and I couldn’t help but appreciate this awesome act by that uncle.

I wondered why there couldn’t be more people like him.

Why don’t people understand that planning a big wedding is quite a task and therefore they should overlook the little mistakes that the hosts make? No matter how much pre-planning and mental calculation one goes through to ensure that every single thing for the wedding is perfect, there is always the chance that you go wrong with one thing or another.

People need to understand that the hosts have a hundred and one things going on in their mind during the wedding; running after getting one thing done after the other.

It is as confusing as it is exciting. So forgive them if they are unable to give you their attention.

Overlook the fact that they couldn’t come to your seat and call you individually for food. Overlook that they missed calling you to the stage for a photograph.

If you really want a picture with the bride and groom, go up and ask for one yourself.

In an event that is meant to be happy and full of love, don’t be grumpy and find a reason to complain. Be happy for their happiness, and celebrate!

Even if that means overlooking a few things.