Humor, Life

7 living nightmares for people who shed a lot of hair

Srsly, your hair is everywhere.

My hair is long, thick, and sheds like crazy. Much to my parents’ chagrin, it can be found all over the house at any given time. I can’t help it! If I so much as run a hand through my hair, even after brushing it, I inevitably pull out multiple strands, prompting me to ask myself how I’m not completely bald yet. I’m like a never-ending shedding machine.

If your hair sheds like crazy as well, there’s no doubt you’ll be able to relate to these everyday struggles.

1. Vacuuming up too much hair at once will destroy your vacuum

[Image Description: A man vacuuming the carpet vigorously.]
Yep, I can’t be the only one who’s smelled my vacuum start to burn as it sucks up my long strands from my bedroom floor. Or the living room floor. Or, you know, anywhere I hang out for like 20 minutes.

2. Having to hear your parents complain about your incessant shedding

[Image Description: A woman holding a gun.]
Mom, I’m sorry that you don’t leave hair wherever you go, but I truly cannot control this. My hair is going to end up in the dining room, on your clothes, and in the dog’s bed, whether you like it or not.

3. Finding the nerve to clean your long, disgusting hair out of the shower drain

[Image Description: A woman making a disgusted expression.]
Ah, the dreaded task of fishing your long hair from the black abyss that is your bathtub drain. How does so much hair end up clogged in there anyway? Do I lose a pound of hair every time I shower? Is this normal?

4. Watching as friends and strangers alike pick stray hairs from your outfit

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[Image Description: A woman saying “Please, I really need this. I need this. Okay?”]
Some people just can’t stand to see hairs clinging to your clothes and they feel the impulsive need to pluck them away. More power to you, since I clearly missed the stragglers. If you want to keep going, we’ll be here all day.

5. Finding your hair in your significant other’s hair or beard

{Image Description: A woman lying on a man’s lap with her eyes closed and the man’s hand on her head.]

This is how you know things are getting serious…or just that you have a serious shedding problem. An ex-boyfriend of mine used to routinely find my hair caught in his beard.

So romantic! But not really.

6. Washing your sheets and clothes and finding hairballs in the washer afterward

via giphy.com

Gross, but intriguing. Who knew all that hair was hanging out in your blankets? A few strands here and there actually add up to a hairball that could be made into a wig.

7. Brushing your hair several times a day but still finding strands falling off your head

[Image Description: A cartoon character brushing her hair in front of the mirror.]
You brush and brush, hoping that you’ve caught all the loose hairs for the day, only to find that an hour later, there are still some stragglers falling out! Brush again, find more stray hairs later. Repeat this all day, every day, for the rest of your life.

I actually wonder how my head can lose so much hair and replenish it so quickly. Maybe I have some sort of super-vitamin excess that keeps my hair thick even when it feels like I’ve brushed out half of it. Either way, I’ve learned to embrace it because there’s nothing I can do to stop it!