Humor, Life

6 things all serial nappers know to be true

Calling all professional nappers.

I love to nap. No, I mean I really love to nap. In my opinion, there’s nothing more soothing than crawling into my cozy bed for a midafternoon nap, piles of blankets on top of me and my heavy drapes closed. Putting off pressing deadlines and responsibilities by snoozing is a practice that I’m pretty much an expert in at this point. I’ve even been known to nap twice in one day, because why not?

You call it laziness. I call it goals.

In my defense, napping has been proven to be good for your health. They help reduce stress, increase alertness, and boost brain power. So if you can afford to squeeze in a nap, do it! If you’re already like me, a person who naps at every opportunity, you’re already accumulating these benefits.

I’m sure I can’t be the only person this dedicated to napping, so I compiled a list that every hardcore napper can relate to. Also, there’s an 80 percent chance I’m going to take a power nap after I’m done writing this.

1. Waking up and wondering if it’s a new year

[Image Description: A man in messy hair and beard asking “What year is it?”]
You decide to take a quick nap, only to wake up hours (or years) later, disoriented and scared that you’ve missed some huge milestones, such as your college graduation, the birth of your sister’s kid, or your own birthday. It was only supposed to be 20 minutes! Have I been asleep for a decade?

2. Waking up from a long nap hot af and disgustingly sweaty

[Image Description: A cartoon character with their hands and knees on the ground exhausted and sweating.]
This is common in the summer, or even in the winter, when you pile on layers of quilts expecting your room to be too chilly, only to wake up later drenched in your own sweat. This unpleasant side effect tends to turn an otherwise dreamy nap into a dehydrated nightmare. Waking up feeling like you’re at the gates of Hell is not refreshing.

3. Napping so hard you miss the pregame, dinner with friends, special occasions, etc.

[Image Description: A woman sleeping in bed with a smile on her face.]
Last Friendsgiving, I succumbed to a two-hour nap and missed the cocktail hour and arrived at the dinner late. Honestly, it was worth it. If you are a seasoned napper, then you know that shit happens. Sleeping through that coffee date was unfortunate, but the rest you got was necessary.

4. Falling asleep while trying to read or do any type of work in your bed

[Image Description: A woman shifting sides while sleeping.]
While it’s pretty much a known fact that you should never try to be productive while laying or sitting in your bed, we all do it anyway, and some of us have less willpower than others. There’s been many a time I’ve leaned up against my pillows with the intent of knocking out a few chapters of a novel I needed to write an essay about, only to find myself waking up an hour later with three pages read. No shame.

5. Cancelling plans just to nap

[Image Description: A woman going to sleep after her clock says “Naptime”]
This is different from number three because this is absolutely intentional. Exhausted from a long day of classes, but you promised your friend you’d meet them at the gym? Send them a text telling them you’re feeling ill and then jump straight into bed! You may feel guilty at the time, but it’s usually the right move.

6. Feeling as if you’re going to wither away if you don’t get your daily nap in

[Image description: a girl crying on the beach saying “I wanna take a nap”]
Yes, this is a real struggle, and no, I am not being dramatic. Visualizing your bed and pillows while in class or at work and knowing you won’t be able to reunite with them until nighttime may bring a tear to your eye. Stay strong and nap twice as hard at the next opportunity to make up for lost napping time.

Napping is (usually) a wonderful experience. If the haters say that you nap too much, or that you’re lazy, or that you’re rude for blowing them off for the comfort of your bed, ignore them and nap on. Life is too short to not get enough sleep. If someone has the audacity to interrupt your nap, yell at them and then promptly go back to bed.