Gender & Identity, Life

Her community doesn’t accept her – but her only crime was her birth

She was born before her parents were married, so somehow, that makes her a disease on society.

She was, just like her other siblings, excited to receive guests in their home. These were the special guests, as their parents said, for they had been friends for a long time. The home was tidied, the food was served in the dining area and they only had to wait for the arrival.

When the moment finally came and it was her turn to greet them politely…

… they responded with cold shoulders. No smiles, hugs or shaking hands.

She was completely ignored.

She was utterly shattered by the way they behaved, but still, she kept a brave face as if nothing had happened. Even her parents could not do anything as they could only watch as their friends treated their other children with affection while their eldest was cast aside.

There was nothing wrong with her. She was a pretty teenager blooming with beauty. She never causes any trouble or had any immoral transgression in her whole life.

Unfortunately, this was not a new occurrence for her. It was just another day.

She was an outcast in her school, too.

The students and teachers regarded her as filth. Since elementary school, the kids were forbidden by their parents to befriend or even be within a meter of her. In high school, the pressure was exacerbated even more.

Every day, she would hear people calling her a disease in the community or a potential whore, like her mother. Her existence was a disgrace to them and people avoided her like a plague. Living with verbal harassments from every student every day was a torture, but sometimes it turned into physical bullying. Worst of all, most teachers would not do anything about it. For them all, she deserved every bit of their harsh treatment.

She was being discriminated against for a reason.

She was an illegitimate daughter. A child born out of wedlock.

[bctt tweet=”She was an illegitimate daughter.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Her parents were married after she was born. Her younger siblings, however, were all born with valid legitimacy status and rights. They had more privileges than her when it comes to inheritance of their father’s properties and assets.

It started with the misdemeanor of the unmarried parents. The act of fornication and adultery itself by communities in countries like Malaysia, as some people following a specific understanding of Islam believe it has clearly forbidden these acts. The society, of course, is always quick to condemn these sinners and their outrageous mistake. But unfortunately, their bias has extended to the children born to their sinned mothers.

As if the child is retrospectively responsible for the circumstances of their births.

A child born out of marriage holds the lowest status in the social rank in Asia, particularly in Malaysia and Indonesia. They are looked down upon and regarded as an affront to morality. Most of them are perceived as amoral and undeserving of the respect and compassion normally offered to children. This negative view has been accepted as the societal norm and most people would rather remain set in their ways than to recognize the error they are committing.

[bctt tweet=”They are looked down upon, regarded as an affront to morality.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Child blaming is not fair.

How does a child know anything about their parents’ mistake?

In this religion, babies were born with a pure mind and soul, not tainted by their parents’ sins. It is not themselves or even their parents’ sin that tarnished their status, but society. Society’s negative perceptions have ruined children’s lives, their futures, and their prospects as they will never be fully accepted by everyone. They are forever spurned and ostracized for the rest of their life as long as the community still hold them responsible for their parents’ immoral actions.

Somehow people believe they inherit their parents’ misbehavior.

[bctt tweet=”Why do we blame children for their parents’ mistake?” username=”wearethetempest”]

Instead of being punished for something they never committed, they need love, support, and care, especially from their family. Just like any other children, they deserve kindness and warm affection from everyone.

The parents might have created a black mark on their family name, but the children are innocent from their faults.

  • Thee Shaheera

    Thee Shaheera is currently a senior in college, majoring in Business Management. Her interests includes arts, fashion design, languages, foods, photography and anything unrelated to business but her greatest passion is writing. She likes to think of herself as a modern-day Renaissance woman, or at least determined to be one in the future.