Love + Sex, Love, Advice

Here’s why dating scares you (and how to dump that fear!)

When you date, who you date, and how you date is all up to you.

Dear Madame Lestrange,

My mom and therapist say it’s time for me to start dating. I’m finishing up high school. They say it’s what people my age do, but I’m actually scared to be that emotionally invested in someone.

Any tips?

Thank you,

Scared to Date.


Dear Scared to Date,

Dating can be scary, but it can also be exhilarating. The thing is that a lot of us have the wrong idea about what it means to go on a date. We have this image of a prospective partner surrounded by a hazy Hollywood glow. They’re funny, smart, and interesting, and they offer to pay for the bill. They’ll walk you home and, in a sweep of lusty excitement, will lay a life-changing kiss on your lips. The entire soundtrack from Twilight will play over and over again in your head the whole time.

And honestly? It could happen. You could have a romantic, perfect encounter on your first date, but you could also have a pretty boring time. Hell, you could even have a downright terrible time.

The fact is that the experience of dating is different for everyone. It’s meant to be fun because you get to meet new people, learn more about yourself, and gain some hilarious stories to take with you on life’s journey. So don’t overthink it.

But as much as this is true, you should date when you are ready for it. Some people choose to date in high school, some people choose to date in university. In fact, some people would rather wait until they’re done with their education to even consider going on a date.

And all of it is “normal.” Again, we have this idea in our minds about what is the normal thing to do, but the truth is that “normal” doesn’t really exist.

So find your own normal, girl. And when you do, revel in it.

You’re welcome,

Madame Lestrange.


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