I am completely guilty of never seeing a full Game of Thrones episode in its entirety. It seems like at any given point, whether or not a new season is currently airing, people are talking about this show. An ex-boyfriend tried to get me to get me into the series and I’ve heard everyone from my best friend to my boss to the teller at the bank that it’s amazing.
Needless to say, I’ve continued to ignore everyone’s recommendations to watch the show and my life has gone on without issue. I have to admit though, the dragons seem cool. I rarely watch TV or get into shows, but it’s been impossible to ignore the hype around GoT over the past several years, so here are my most pressing questions for all you devoted Game of Thrones lovers!
1. Who is this little blonde fucker, and why does everyone hate him so much?
What does he actually do? I get the basic premise that he’s awful, and I know he must have been a total piece of shit when people were happy that he died, but what’s his real deal? He totally looks like an entitled white male, and that’s distasteful enough, but I need more details.
2. Does anybody actually live in this show?
I constantly hear that characters die off like fruit flies in Game of Thrones, so who is left? Also, I’ve witnessed severe outrage and sadness by fans over the passing of a character. So watching your favorite character die makes you…want to watch more?
This trend sounds infuriating as fuck!
3. What’s with all the torture, and how can you people stomach watching it?
The above is basically me any time I see something squeamish. I hate torture and that’s actually one of the main reasons I don’t watch this show, but how can y’all watch this human suffering and live with yourselves? Am I missing something?
4. Why do you continue to shame me when I painfully admit I’ve never seen Game of Thrones?
People generally look at me in disbelief and promptly ask, “How have you never seen it?!” Then they proceed to tell me how awesome it is and how I need to watch it and how I’ll be totally hooked. All while I have to stand there embarrassed af that I’m so uncultured that I’ve never seen a full episode of this grand show. Yes, I get that I’m part of the one percent of people on this planet who have never seen GoT, but I’m not ready to join your cult!
5. What in the 7 hells is this thing?
Yeah, this is a big NOPE for me. I thought GoT was mainly about nudity, sex, torture, and drinking, but they threw these things into the mix now?
6. What’s better, the books or the show?
As someone who holds an English degree and a nerdy book lover, I have to know. Books are always supposed to be superior to the movie/TV series, so I want to know if all the torture is as gruesome in print as it is on screen and if there’s really that much sex. Also, I’m totally going to turn the tables and judge you if I find out you’ve never read the books.
7. Is winter really coming, though?
I’m just curious!
If I had the time I would actually make an effort to watch GoT. Until I don’t have a million things going on at once/my attention span for TV improves, please humor me and give me your answers.