A week ago I turned 22 years old and married the love of my life.
And it was perfect. I was surrounded by my closest friends and family, we ate a ton of biryani, and danced until our feet turned numb. The entire event went off without a single thing going wrong – no exaggeration. In fact, it was so perfect that numerous guests came up to me afterward and commented on how the wedding was the most sincere, most fun party they had ever attended.
I was deeply humbled by everyone’s comments. My now-husband and I felt so lucky, and we can’t stop talking about how mind-blowing it is that everything turned out so well.
And trust me, if you had seen me just a few hours before I walked down the aisle, bent over a nurse’s table in full hair and makeup, with an injection in my ass, you wouldn’t believe it either.Hours before my wedding, I was in full hair and makeup in the nurse's office. Click To Tweet
My wedding was plagued with sickness.
It was a cough that turned into the flu that turned into full-blown pneumonia. My friends were the first to get sick, then my mother, then myself, then my husband. And the illness lasted for the entire month we planned the wedding. Up until a week before the wedding, I was bed-ridden, scarfing down antibiotics, and crying myself to sleep from pain. I even worsened the virus by trying to exercise the moment I felt better.
Once I’d healed, it wasn’t over. I made the huge mistake of doing a full-body wax which turned into folliculitis that covered my entire back, neck, chest, and even crept over my arms down towards my mehndi. It was the ultimate pimple nightmare; so painful I was unable to wear a bra because of the straps that bore down on my shoulders and back.It was the ultimate pimple nightmare. Click To Tweet
Oh, and did I mention that my clear skin suddenly broke out into the worst acne I’d experienced in two years?
I was distraught.
There I was, just a few hours shy of getting married and all I could think about was how everything had fallen apart. When I say I cried, I mean I cried.
I had planned on exercising and getting healthy before the wedding, but couldn’t do it because I was physically incapable of leaving my bed.
I was in the process of fixing my acne-ridden skin, then had a huge breakout that still persists as I write this article.
I chose a lengha blouse that exposed my back, part of my chest, and arms, and even had shoulder cut-outs. All highlighting places where the folliculitis had hit me hardest.
It felt like the universe was punishing me. I didn’t understand why of all the days of the year, of my life, I had to have these things happen to me during my wedding. A day that I’ll (hopefully, lol) only ever experience once.It felt like the universe was punishing me. Click To Tweet
But the more I cried over everything that had happened, the more I realized that, to some extent, I had brought this on myself.
I broke out because I went for a facial after convincing myself that my clear skin wasn’t good enough for my wedding day.
I contracted folliculitis because I convinced myself that the perfect bride is a hairless bride.
I worsened my pneumonia because I convinced myself that I would only be satisfied with the wedding photos if I had lost 5 kilograms.
I had been the master of my own destruction. I gave into everything women are told they are supposed to be and do for their wedding day. I listened to the droves of articles, movies, and nosy family members that convinced me that I was not good enough. That I needed to look straight out of a magazine as I walked down the aisle towards the rest of my life.I gave into everything women are told they are supposed to be and do for their wedding day. Click To Tweet
But fate had other plans. Instead of walking down the aisle thin, depressed and stressed, I walked down the aisle covered in whiteheads, weighing more than I ever have. And let me tell you, it felt phenomenal.
Because when I saw my husband’s nervous smile, the way his eyes lit up the moment I came into view, I knew that nothing else mattered except that moment. It was the happiest moment of my life, acne included.
I guess, in some way, the universe wasn’t punishing me, it was just showing me what I already knew.
I am so damn perfect, just the way I am.