I’ve lost my fair share of friends. It hurts like all hell, and you promise yourself you won’t ever fall into that sort of thing again. Friendships, particularly with other women, are what keep you going from day to day. Of course, not all friendships are created equal. There are certain friends who get you better than anyone and often become closer than family. Those are the losses that hurt the worst.
So when you find yourself feeling the same things you’ve felt before for other girlfriends, it’s a thrilling yet terrifying ride. This new girlfriend is everything you’ve been missing, but you can’t be sure if it’s the real thing. After all, you’ve made plenty of new friends but never really found that special someone again. How do you know they’re the real deal?
Well, here are some tell-tale signs that you’ve found your platonic soulmate.
1. You smile just seeing their name on your phone screen.
It might not even be that you know they’re probably about to say something funny. Just seeing the reminder of them light up your phone is enough to make you feel happy.
Plus, you can’t help but feel warm and fuzzy about the fact that they were thinking of you.
2. You constantly want to hang out, but you don’t want to come off too desperate.
You honestly can’t get enough of your hours-long conversations with your new friend. But you’re worried that they might.
So you wait, sitting with your phone in hand, hoping they’ll hit you up for a mall trip or a night out at a hookah bar.
3. When you make plans with them, you look forward to it all week.
The days start to move slower when you know you’re going to be seeing your new friend later in the week.
Sometimes you’re so excited you even mark it on the calendar.
4. You find yourself trying to look good just for them.
It’s true that women try to look good for each other rather than for men.
When it’s a friend whom you subconsciously really want to like you, you might find yourself wearing your favorite outfit, putting more effort into your contour, and breaking out that statement necklace.
5. You start missing them after just one day.
That one hang out wasn’t enough! When you’re seriously falling hard in friendship, you go into withdrawal almost immediately after saying goodbye.
6. When you see something funny on social media, your first thought is to tag them.
Sometimes you hold back because you don’t want it to be obvious how much you think about them.
Sometimes you just say ‘screw it,’ because you love making them laugh and there’s no way they wouldn’t find it hysterical.
7. You pay extra attention to their social media posts.
You spend so much time focused on your new friend’s feed that you forgot you’re even still following your ex. You’re totally tuned into what they might be thinking or up to…
But not in a stalker way, I swear!
8. You’re devastated when you see them hanging out with someone else on Snapchat.
Logically, you know that they’re going to have a life outside of you and other friends to hang out with. With someone that amazing, there’s no way you’re the only one who wants them around.
But you low-key hate the other girl and hope your new friend realizes how much better you are for her.
9. You constantly wonder if they feel the same way about you.
Self-doubt due to your past broken friendships inevitably starts to creep in. You try to tell yourself that it’s no big deal, that they at least seem to like you as a person, and that’s more than enough.
10. You’re ecstatic when you find out that they do.
Nope, never mind. It wasn’t enough. They love you, they really, really love you! You’re not a total creep! Or at least, if you are, you can creep together.
I have plenty of guy friends, but there’s something magical about female friendships. Finding a new girl to talk to about your deepest desires and darkest impulses with no judgment, someone who gets how much guys just don’t, someone who hates on the same things and people as you do brings so much happiness. That kind of validation and support is so hard to find.
As with all relationships, there’s definitely a risk… But even after losing the friends that I have, I can say that it’s a risk worth taking every time.