Love + Sex, Love, Life Stories

Why you should always trust dating advice from your friends

Let’s start with the moment I confessed my love for him.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a high school girl who had a huge crush on a guy in her class. Then she found out he was a jerk and never liked him again.

The end.

Okay, obviously, I left out many details. Who was this mysterious jerk? What made him a jerk? How did she finally find out? Did she ride off into the sunset with someone else?

The most important detail is who helped her out: her girls.

My girls have been with me through thick and thin and have given me so much love and support. My girls are the ones got me through this guy and every other guy.

Let’s start back to when I confessed my love for him.

It was pretty huge because if they didn’t like him then I’d have to consider pursuing him without their support. My girls supported me, but they were suspicious of him because they didn’t know him.

While I was busy googly eyeing the boy, they saw the disconnection. I’d set up study sessions, push myself to have (awkward) conversations with him, and even text him. I really was trying to set everything up to make a perfect shot.

He, on the other hand, wasn’t giving anything back. My girls could see that he wasn’t trying to learn about me. He was late to the study sessions, gave bland responses in our texts, and overall didn’t care for me more than as an acquaintance.

My girls saw all of this and tried to tell me. Annoying little me just saw it as negative. I believed that if I got with him that their views would change. I ignored what was clear to them and continued to get closer.

Not being interested in me doesn’t make him a jerk. He has a right to not like me. What made him a jerk is how he tried handling the situation.

One night he and I were texting each other.

At this point, I felt like we were finally having full, fun conversations. Then out of the blue, he texted me a whole paragraph about how he suspected that I was crushing on him, how he doesn’t feel the same, and if I wanted to talk he could call.

You know that feeling when you’re sleeping and all of a sudden a very loud noise suddenly wakes you up and you’re left feeling helpless and confused.

Yup, that’s how I felt.

I was so thrown off that I didn’t even reply until after I called one of my girls. I told her how confused I was. They agreed that he should have slowly brought this up and in person.

He was too much of a coward to tell me that he didn’t even feel the same way in person.

The only good thing that happened was the hugs and love my girls gave me. They comforted me until I felt better and kept me on my feet. They knew I wasn’t wrong for liking the guy. Crushes are just weird like that.

The heartbreak actually helped me for the better overall. A couple months later he was revealed to be an untrustworthy guy when he tried making moves on one of my girls. He didn’t want to accept that she wasn’t interested and tried to invade her personal space.

Seeing him in a different light really makes me wish I listened to my friends the first time. They were worried about me getting hurt, but I didn’t try to understand that.

If I had thought about their suspicions a lot longer I’d have saved myself from a rollercoaster of emotions.

The lesson of the day, actually every day for the rest of my life: Always listen to your girls because they don’t tell you what they’re thinking for nothing.