Love, Life Stories

I don’t need you to pretend to know what I’m going through

I didn't choose it, it chose me.

Here is what fucking depression feels like.

It’s sadness, shit loads of it
and an inability to explain
why

why I feel the way I do

It’s loved ones, worried,
asking me if everything is alright
it is,
but it’s not.

I’m not feeling up to
explaining again
why

my world feels like it’s sinking

down
down
down

A burden I have to bear
because

only I can carry it

Some days are better,
some days are worse,
bad, shit, messed-up
days

and I can smile and try to feel

okay,

but it doesn’t work
this way
or that way

it’s a fucking mental
disorder,

not a season.

Doesn’t come
and go
on my accord,
it just is

is
is
is

I hate it
but I’m trying,
I try every day.

A battle
one battle,
one task,
one day,

at a time,

I know.

“take it slow”-

“you’ll be fine”-

“I feel you”-

You don’t,
your battle is similar
but not mine

mine is mine
mine
mine

and I wish it wasn’t,

because I want it to go away
as far away, from me

but I didn’t choose it,
it chose me.