Growing up in South Africa is a pretty unique experience. From the quirky shows we watched to the strange social cues you’ll only get from riding a taxi to school every day, South African society definitely has its own way of doing things. Since the 2010 World Cup, people around the world have become increasingly fascinated with South Africa and its people, and of course all the tourist hotspots in Cape Town. But we South Africans know what it’s really like to grow up on Carte Blanche Sundays and Chappies bubblegum.
1. Let’s start off simple: Durban has no winter.
It’s stifling all year round and everyone knows a true Durbanite can’t even embrace the slightest breeze.
2. You can have a conversation with someone in three different languages at once.
“Ewe my authi dis why ndizokuvisitha by jou plek kusasa. Thina siyi dinga istory efresh.”
3. You could always pick up a 50cent chappie at the tuck shop down the road.
And reading the fun fact inside that yellow bubblegum wrapper was the best part.
4. You avoid sitting in the front seat of a taxi if you are bad at math.
And God forbid the fare changed without you realizing it.
5. Our president has a fire pool.
Because you never know when a fire will strike and well… fire pool.
6. Only rich kids got Waltons stationery boxes.
The rest of us had to deal with Shoprite queues.
7. When you heard the Carte Blanche theme song you knew your weekend was over.
But at least we had the 8 pm movie, right?
8. And were terrified of the guy who said “Tonight on E!”
Is it just me or does his voice also haunts your nightmares?
9. We’ll always remember that time in December when we all sang about killing Van Damme.
Poor guy had the whole country out to get him.
10. And realized that we have our own Donald Trump: Helen Zille.
For those claiming legacy of colonialism was ONLY negative, think of our independent judiciary, transport infrastructure, piped water etc.
— Helen Zille (@helenzille) March 16, 2017
Can someone please take her phone away already?
11. Our Police Minister is the biggest Twitter troll.
— RSA Police Minister (@MbalulaFikile) June 10, 2017
And Buzzfeed seems to think he doesn’t know that.
12. White people have been moving to Australia since 1994.
Yet we still see them shopping in Woolworths.
13. This guy was your best friend growing up.
— Sunesh (@FoxOneZA) July 8, 2015
You spent time with him every day after school.
14. And Takalani Sesame was your favorite show to jam to with Neno.
This beat still gets you dancing.
15. The P.S. guy is a Durban celebrity.
You’ll hear him before you see him.
16. Zuma Must Go is the new white struggle song.
Again, you keep saying that Australia is just waiting for you.
17. But you know what it means when you are writing an exam and hear “iyoo Solomon.”
We have the best struggle songs in the world.
18. Nothing is more valuable than a white human shield.
— Katon! Goukakyuu no Jutsu (@ThabileMpe) October 20, 2015
But we know in the struggle for free, decolonized education it shouldn’t have to be this way.
19. We all know this guy from Midrand.
Bathi this is the "I stay in Midrand" starter pack😒 who did this 😔 pic.twitter.com/NSBnAxg7Gr
— Diamza (@diamza_) June 7, 2017
Although we might not want to admit how.
20. And finally, we know we have the best food in the whole goddamn world.
There’s nothing better than a bunny chow and coke on the beach.