Gender & Identity, Life

20 realities that’ll hit way too close to home if you own a pet

*On a date* haha so tell me more about your dog?

In my short twenty-four years on this earth, I have had the pleasure of owning hamsters, budgies, and cats. If you are just as pet-obsessed, these realities will hit too close to home.

1. Your shoes will not survive

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Whether it is due to cat scratches, dog dribble, or rabbit poop – say goodbye to those favorite trainers.

2. Animal hair everywhere (or feathers)

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It takes over my clothes, my house, and sometimes I find bits of it in my makeup. How? I don’t want to know.

3. Firework and loud noises cause major panic

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The absolute fear that these precious creatures go into after hearing loud noises makes me want to petition for a ban on fireworks altogether.

4. Lack of productivity is a given

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The day is going well and then a cute face pops up and well, there goes the afternoon.

5. The urge to cuddle any animal you see on the street is too real

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Even though you basically have a zoo in your house, you can’t help but chase that cute puppy down the street.

6. The exorcism exercise that is bathing never fails to freak them out

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They will fight tooth and nail to try and escape the hell that is water.

7. Your photo album is pictures of your pet – only of your pet

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Let’s face it, they are way cuter and more worth seeing than humans.

8. They always know when you’re taking them to the vet

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The struggle of getting a cat or dog in the car before the freak-out is real.

9. The inability to stop buying treats for them

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I spend way more treating these cuties then I would ever spend on myself.

10. The heart-to-heart conversations you have with your pets

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We all do it. I remember telling my hamster my deepest secrets without fear of judgment. Okay, so there was some judgment.

11. It’s hard to stay mad at them

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You peed in my shoes, but you’re so cute it’s fine. Pee in the other too. Just stop with those eyes.

12. The pride you feel when they learn a new trick

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We all want our pets to be talented.

13. Having a human best friend and animal one can be a competition

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Let’s be honest, the animal one is always better.

14. When they find a mirror, it’s absolutely adorable

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It is always entertaining to watch a pet meet themselves for the first time in the mirror and wonder who that charming being is.

15. Bed sharing is your reality

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Your bed is no longer your bed. If you get up to pee, expect a cat sprawled out in the middle and adjust yourself around them.

16. The honor of having them sleep in your lap 

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If a rabbit/cat/dog/hamster falls asleep on your lap, you are the lucky chosen one. You now cannot move until they wake up. Hold that bladder in.

17. You talk to your pets as if they are babies

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You know that coo-ing voice that emerges when you see a newborn? Yeah, we use that all the time.

18. Your house is full of weird noises

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Whether it be the cat yowling, the dog snoring, or the budgies’ wake up call. The house is never entirely silent.

19. You end up with battle scars, but that’s okay

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I’ve been clawed at by hamsters, scratched up by a kitten, and bitten by birds. But they meant it with love.

20. The loss of a loved one hurts, no matter what

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Only we can understand the grief that comes with losing your best friend. At the end of the day, we could not imagine our lives without these weird and wonderful creatures.