Life + Love, Love + Sex

I found the cure to my anxiety – and it’s not what you think

I struggled for a long time in my last relationship. I loved my partner deeply, but having sex was problematic at best.

Anxiety has been the soundtrack to my life.

It’s always felt like something bad was looming over me. Anxiety kept me from graduating even with two full scholarships and excellent grades (almost 10 years later, I was still two credits shy of my masters degree). It is a ridiculous cycle of getting excited, then getting anxious, then dreading everything, then feeling stupid for having these thoughts, then nothing. It is exhausting.

Every grown woman deserves a decent amount of orgasms in her lifetime. Click To Tweet

The worst part about anxiety is that so many people don’t consider it a real thing, which means that most of us just suffer in silence. I used to feel like I was going insane and there was this overwhelming sense of panic at times. For me, there was no such thing as chilling or sitting still. It got so bad at one point that I couldn’t keep a job. I had trouble interacting with people even though I feel like a total extrovert at heart.

I struggled for a long time in my last relationship. I loved my partner deeply, but having sex was problematic at best.

In the year we were together, I never had an orgasm. At the same time, I was dealing with professional transitions, the trauma of police brutality, and an overwhelming lack of sleep that permeated much of my life. Soon after our relationship ended, I started masturbating.

The first time, I fell asleep and slept like a bear in hibernation. It was glorious.

The second time, I was having trouble sleeping at a hotel during a frustrating business trip. It was after midnight and my mind wouldn’t stop racing. I turned on the television and some late night cable channel was in the middle of an orgy scene. I got turned on and got busy with myself. Again, I fell asleep and slept better than I had in years.

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Being the nerd that I am, I started tracking my orgasms along with my stress levels and sleep patterns. When I realized how effective it was at relieving a lot of my tension, I did more research. The empirical data is absolutely fascinating.

Although we know that anxiety stems from a psychological issue rather than a physical one, orgasms can go a long way to relieving the debilitating sense of fear and dread that comes with anxiety.

The first time, I fell asleep and slept like a bear in hibernation. It was glorious. Click To Tweet

Throughout the crummy relationships that followed my discovery, I kept a journal of all my findings. Turns out that orgasms not only relieve anxiety, but they can also balance hormones, alleviate restlessness, and combat obesity. Orgasms and arousal more generally release dopamine and other “feel good” hormones in the brain, and reduces feelings of pain.

The health benefits of orgasms are astounding: so we should all start getting down more often. Orgasms help to naturally promote muscle relaxation, improve circulation, and relieve sleep deprivation, according to research published in 2009. Masturbation has served as a cure for insomnia in my case, and I am not the only one. Orgasms have recently been proven to boost immunity as well.

Every grown woman deserves a decent amount of orgasms in her lifetime. It is no coincidence that most women don’t experience orgasms regularly and women typically deal with more anxiety than men. I think there is a direct correlation.

The best thing about using orgasms for anxiety relief? You don’t need a prescription!

Orgasms are over the counter (or on top of the washing machine). While an orgasm might not be a magic pill, it can relieve a lot of tension and help us discover what we like. Just the act of dedicating time to ourselves is often the hardest step….might as well get rewarded for it.

Africa Jackson

Africa Jackson is a thick eyebrowed agitator looking for re-ve-e-e-e-e-en-enge. She spends her free time whistling at construction workers and saying the "C" word (it's ok, her best friend is white).

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