#DearSister is everything we’ve ever heard from “pious” boys and men – and it’s amazing
#DearSister I will date however many women I can get my hands on until I decide I've had enough. Then I need an untouched and pious woman.
Dear Sister,
First, your hair is showing a little bit, fix your hijab please. Second, let me begin with who I am- I’m your all-pious mansplaining brother, who’s a sinner by day, and self-proclaimed halal-police officer by night. I will find you and I will hold you accountable to every possible action you’ve done, telling you exactly why you’re going to end up in hell. Because, I’ve not just mastered, but doctored in it *cough* from years of experience in halal-policing my sister, mother, cousins, and any young Muslim *sister* that my first gaze allows me to look at *cough*.
I do genuinely want what’s best for you. I’m trying to save you from sinning, and I’m trying to make this world a better place. One sin at a time. Before I get into why, hold on for a minute: I see some ankles and a turban hijab. I MUST STOP THIS ATROCITY. These wanna-be Muslim fashionista-blogger-infidels. How I hate them.
Back to the life-saving lecture I was giving you. Listen, you can’t just try to be this independent young woman that Haram Hollywood is trying to make you believe you are. You’re not. And, you don’t even need to be, I mean don’t you trust me? This is from a brother to you my #DearSister. Stop painting me as the bad guy here. I’m better than you in every possible way, ethically, morally, religiously. And, even physically. Don’t believe me?
Check my Instagram, sister. Those six-packs you see from this mirror selfie in the gym, didn’t just come from just policing, you know. Do you think I’ll get hot dates or should I post more half-nude pics? Shit, sorry, that was meant for my brother, not you.
Astaghfirullah, that was by mistake, sister. Please erase it from your mind. And, stop judging me.
Religion is a very personal thing, and I know that better than anyone. Religion is personal as long as it’s about me, but, the second you or another sister does anything, it’s a public matter. And, I, your savior, relish in the opportunity to bask in some moral glory.
I think I’ll save the rest of this lecture for another time. You don’t seem too interested and it’s time for gymming anyway. Before I start my catchy playlist with obscene words and provocative objectifying, I do want to make sure you understand how important it is for you to be the perfect example of Islam you can be.
Your knight in shining armor/Muslim brother
Kudos to Mona Eltahawy for the #DearSister hashtag. Here’s the ultimate roundup of #DearSister tweets.
Muslim men trying 2 derail #DearSister bec makes them look bad.
Non-Muslim men trying 2 coopt #DearSister to make Islam look bad.
FUCK OFF!— Mona Eltahawy (@monaeltahawy) March 5, 2017
1.
#DearSister don't expose the sins of your ex husband (violence+adultery). God covers your sins if you cover his….
No.
— Damn Fab Desi (@DamnFabDesi) March 5, 2017
2.
#DearSister "You're like a white sheet and any stain on your reputation will stain your white sheet, no one wants a dirty ragged cloth."
— ڕهند (@rand_docx) March 5, 2017
3.
#DearSister
"You must be married by age ___"What about my goals and aspirations?
Sister, your goal should be to serve your husband
(UGH)
— Anam (@AnamR_Syed) March 5, 2017
4.
#DearSister I will only acknowledge the rights Islam gave me and I will take away all of yours.
— A (@xaxmxixnxax) March 6, 2017
5.
#dearsister your hijab is all wrong. But let me wear shorts that show me knees and show off my nice muscles and abs
— C. (@ALadyontheDeen) March 6, 2017
6.
#dearsister where is your haya when speaking about such things? Have some modesty and don't speak about rape within marriage.
— C. (@ALadyontheDeen) March 6, 2017
7.
#dearsister pic.twitter.com/FAb1sJDh3h
— Circling Around Places (@circling_around) March 11, 2017
8.
#DearSister don't pump your tire by yourself. It involves bending. It's inappropriate.
Besides, it's a man's job.— جنان الهاملي (@JayAlhamli) March 6, 2017
9.
#DearSister forgive me for every time I confuse my toxic misogyny for the prophet's sunnah.
— fatima (@halalwine_) March 6, 2017
10.
#DearSister I'll flirt and make you uncomfortable until you reject me and then I'll tell all my friends you're a thirsty hoe
— ربى (@basedruba) March 6, 2017
11.
#DearSister "Are you Muslim?You shouldn't be out at night! It's shameful to your parents! *insert lecture* From a random taxi driver in NYC.
— Just #EndChildMarriage (@AnotherAznTart) March 6, 2017
12.
#DearSister no one wants to marry a girl that makes more money than him
— زيبا ✨ (@zaibazeta) March 6, 2017
13.
#DearSister your principlesðics are all well&good for others but please leave them at the front door when you come home to my parents.
— Heena Bukhari (@HBukhari) March 6, 2017
14.
#DearSister I prefer to speak to your father/brother. After all decision-making is the man's job. pic.twitter.com/Z639Uj4D2t
— Nuzaifa (@wordcontessa) March 6, 2017
15.
#DearSister pls don't taint the religion by smoking. you're wearing a hijab fgs *smokes after jumaat prayers*
— khal-izzy (@lemonsquiji) March 6, 2017
16.
#DearSister
"Masha Allah!!" Said while trying to get in your face at the Mosque. Standing in your way so you can't get past. AAAAAARRRGGGHH!— Neimah Safi (@NeimahSafi) March 12, 2017
17.
#DearSister "if you have two lollipops and one is…" pic.twitter.com/vK0iHKvxIS
— Sabeena (@pocobookreader) March 6, 2017
18.
#DearSister *has my aunt stop visiting us bc her husband doesn't permit her to as we "fill thoughts in her head to make her disobey him"*
— M #WasteItOnMe (@pinkktyeon) March 13, 2017
19.
Reminds me of this brother last year to me,
"#DearSister, your eyes are so beautiful. You are causing fitnah by not covering (1/2)— Tuscany ? (@NotYourNiqabae) March 31, 2017
20.
#DearSister "Why are your eyes showing? They are fitnah, cover them or you're going straight to hell." A muslim judge actually told me this
— eman♀️ (@_e__m__) March 6, 2017
21.
You cannot enter the Masjid to perform your prayers cause you are not wearing the hijab. #DearSister https://t.co/sEwJddMQtR
— Vladimir (@sosososofea) March 6, 2017
22.
#DearSister "we know virgin girls from the way they wall"
— eman♀️ (@_e__m__) March 6, 2017
23.
#dearsister if you don't want to get raped then you should keep covered. You know how men are.
— mars (@imignoored) March 6, 2017
24.
"#DearSister everything is better separate and equal, like smaller space for women at the mosque, longer lines for food bc u have kids, etc"
— Miraj Haque (@MirajHaque) March 6, 2017
25.
#DearSister You want to work? Find work within the four walls of your home
— nuzhat (@nuzhataziz) March 6, 2017
26.
#DearSister if you put off children til after 35, you're dooming your unborn and harming the ummah
— Amina (@cups_of_chai) April 22, 2017
27.
#DearSister – if you don't get married and have a husband to take care of your life will have no meaning" – from an ex
— narnar (@anarpatel) April 22, 2017
28.
#DearSister Did you pray? Who saw you? Pray again, just so I can be sure. ???
— Tamadur Ali (@Smitemebitch) May 3, 2017
29.
#DearSister Islam stopped you from being buried alive but now I'll allow my patriarchy, culture & superiority complexes to bury your dreams.
— ? (@Afgeezy97) March 5, 2017
30.
#DearSister If women dress modestly they're not harassed.#DearBrother Over 75% of women in Egypt are veiled but are still harassed.
— Azadeh (@azadeh_akbari) March 5, 2017
31.
#DearSister no one will want to marry you because you don't cover head to toe! but gtg have premarital sex and have children out of wedlock!
— khadija (@khadijajiwa) March 6, 2017
32.
#DearSister I don't really care about oppression but, oh you took off your hijab?!! Did you know there are women STRUGGLING to wear it??????
— Arisha (@ArishaRozaidee) March 6, 2017
33.
#DearSister if you're working too hard for your career, goals, or education, you'll be unattractive and nobody will marry you
— ? (@_ichxmelia) March 6, 2017
34.
#DearSister "Are you Muslim?You shouldn't be out at night! It's shameful to your parents! *insert lecture* From a random taxi driver in NYC.
— Just #EndChildMarriage (@AnotherAznTart) March 6, 2017
35.
#DearSister you're making men commit a sin by seeing your hair,you're responsible for their sin!
— GF (@GFakhari) March 5, 2017
36.
#DearSister I will date however many women I can get my hands on until I decide I've had enough. Then I need an untouched and pious woman.
— Nur al Abrar (@southiraqi) March 5, 2017
37.
#dearsister well if you're done studying the only thing left is to get married. You can't get too old or else who will want to marry you
— mars (@imignoored) March 6, 2017
38.
#DearSister forgive me for every time I confuse my toxic misogyny for the prophet's sunnah.
— fatima (@halalwine_) March 6, 2017
39.
#DearSister, why is ur daughter pursuing higher education? Her time is better spent learning to cook & clean, so that she can please husband
— H Jafri (@hjafrii) March 6, 2017
40.
"Can't wait until you wear hijab for the pride of the family, sister in law" – my uncle.
"Keep waiting then" – my mom.
— noimnothanagoaway (@mixedcleopatra) March 5, 2017
41.
#dearsister "your hips are too wide, you must not come to the masjid unless properly covered" my scarf draped down to my knees ? https://t.co/jGW15MqUBT
— kuthi (@sarboop) October 5, 2017
42.
"#dearsister you can't sin when wearing the hijab it gives off the wrong message to non-Muslims about Islam but anyways I'm off to the club"
— MJ (@sailormunaa) March 5, 2017
43.
salafis reading #DearSister tweets pic.twitter.com/7xIA1dSGfL
— أهل التويتر والجماعة (@muftidank) March 5, 2017
