Losing your virginity doesn’t have to be a big deal. There! I said it!
Society and sex culture have hyped up losing your virginity to be like, OMG, MAYBE THE BIGGEST FUCKING THING YOU CAN DO IN YOUR LIFE.
And, while YES, it’s completely weird and something that requires ABSOLUTE consent, responsibility, and lots and lots of communication and knowledge about sex and diseases, the first time is kind of… MEH.
Honestly, any type of sex, whether it’s your first time or last, should just be between two consenting people with mutual respect towards each other. Not to ruin your lifelong dreams of reaching the face of God with your soulmate for the first time, but he’ll come around someday.
Why wait for a thousand years for him when he’s most likely not gonna be a virgin when he meets you?
Of course, I didn’t always think that way.
As a pre-teen, when I saw movies and books describing how you’re supposed to lose your virginity, YEAH, I dreamed along. I imagined the rose petals, candles, and Italian cashmere bedsheets. But I also pictured “the one” and how it would be someone who would grow old with me.
I thought we would gaze in other’s eyes and tell each other how much we love each other while we reached…well … climax.
But reality doesn’t work like that, because the guy who I THOUGHT WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE is now having his ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY WITH MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND!
What I’m trying to say is, your first time will most likely be nasty, awkward, embarrassing… or all three. Life doesn’t follow our plans, especially not mine, so we need to have more realistic ideas for the partner who help us lose our virginity.
Now when I think about sex, I just want it to be a stranger or a platonic friend who respects me. That way, there are no feelings involved and NO PRESSURE. You won’t have to worry if they’ll dump you later, leaving you memories of how you lost the one thing you valued to them.
When I was with the “love of my life” and we were a happy high school couple, he tried to kiss me and I rejected him. I regretted it SO FUCKING MUCH, until we broke up a month later.
Then, the shy 15-year-old me got a Hot or Not account and found someone my age near me.
The first time I met Noah, I kissed him cause I knew there wouldn’t be regrets. In my situation, even when he left, he was just a stranger. I also gave him my first blowjob, but that’s a story for another day!
Noah and I are pretty much each other’s first everything and also very close friends. Of course, we don’t do anything with each other if either of us in a relationship.
ANYWAYS, there is always a chance your significant other could cheat on you a week after your virginity. Wouldn’t you then regret giving them your first?
And wouldn’t you WANT to ACTUALLY BE GOOD AT SEX FOR WHEN YOU MEET THE ONE? Because trust me, NO ONE is good during their first time.
Also, once you get the whole virginity thing over with, you can figure out what makes you feel good. More importantly, how to orgasm. Life is so fucking short and we can only get so many orgasms in, so get it going!
Obviously, I am not saying you should arbitrate personal views and beliefs. If it is your choice to wait until marriage, I think that’s awesome and inspiring. If it is your choice to never have sex, that’s also awesome and admirable.
What I am saying is, don’t cling to the belief that sex has to be with “the one.”
It just needs to happen from a position of mutual respect and the urge to have fun.