Science, Now + Beyond

22 things you’ll totally get if you’re an environmentalist

Please, no more plastic bottles. And, yes, I brought my own bag.

From low-key judging aerosol users to the eternal quest for hippy deodorant that actually works, these are 22 things you’ll totally get if you’re an environmentalist in the 21st century.

1. The eternal quest for a hippy deodorant that works but doesn’t destroy the planet or your body

I’m currently on brand #4. Each purchase is a full-stick commitment. Still hunting for the one that lasts more than 30 minutes.

2. When you forget your reusable bags at home

Trying to fit everything in one or two grocery bags. I’ll be better next time! Just please, get me to the door.

3. Hitting up the thrift store for that wedding you’re going to

I’ll dig and dig to find something without puffy sleeves. I can always add a belt to something out of date, right?

4. When you see plastic water bottles at a conference

Just, no.

5. When you hear someone use an aerosol

It’s 2017. Come on. Get with the program. There are plenty of alternatives out there.

6. When someone says well the planet’s screwed anyway

Don’t get me started. I’ll roll my eyes so hard at you.

7. Trying to learn how to fix a bike online

Come on. Let me do this, universe.

8. When you feel like everything you do hurts the planet

9. Driving to recycle your glass in another county and feeling like you’re undoing all the benefits because it’s so far away…

No, my county doesn’t recycle glass. And no, it’s not that uncommon, unfortunately. But, driving this far to recycle probably isn’t helping as much as I’d like it to.

10. Cost benefit analysis on the planet for every decision

11. When you find the perfect eco-friendly present.

You get one! You get one! You get one! Everybody gets one!

12. Waiting for the snark when you tell people how you eat.

I get plenty of protein. Stahp.

13. Always unplugging everything

Yes, it’s still using energy even if it’s not on.

14. Reading about record breaking temperatures AGAIN this year.

15. Daily affirmations that I’m actually making a difference

“This matters. This matters. This matters.” and “No small act is ever wasted. No small act…”

16. When you find ethical shoes that are also cute.

Oh, my sweet precious.

17. Trying to decide if it’s okay to “let it mellow” at this friend’s house.

To flush or not to flush…

18. When you feel no shame digging out the can someone threw in the trash.

Say something. I dare you.

19. When you overhear someone saying they have the right to pollute if they want.

But, why, tho?

20. When you’ve kept your house plants alive and use your own herbs. Finally.

Yeah, I did that.

21. When you see your energy bill go down.

There’s nothing like instant gratification when everything else you do feels like a small drop in a big bucket.

22. You know that no matter the extra effort for everything, it’s worth it.

  • Perry Hodgkins Jones

    Staff Writer erry Hodgkins Jone is a published writer, environmental advocate, and non-profit worker with a Master's in Theology and the Environment from Sewanee and a Bachelor's in Political Science from Wellesley College. She lives in Western North Carolina with her husband and two cats.