Love, Life Stories

For the first time in my life, I don’t have the right words to say to you, America

I am mourning the America I have always believed in. And for the scariest split second, I wasn't ready to keep fighting for it.

For the first time, I’ve had no words. People who know me know I’ve always had something to say. Words have never failed me before. I’ve always been able to articulate my thoughts and my feelings.

But today, I have no words. Rather, I do not have the right words adequately express my devastation.

[bctt tweet=” I am mourning the America I have always believed in.” username=”wearethetempest”]

All I know is that I am grieving. I am mourning the America I have always believed in. And for the scariest split second, I wasn’t ready to keep fighting for it.

[bctt tweet=”We are too beautiful to allow this ugly event to stain our dignities and determination.” username=”wearethetempest”]

That hopelessness suffocated me for a moment but then I remember that this pain is not mine alone. There are so many people out there who share in my heartache. We are too beautiful to allow this ugly event to stain our dignities and determination.

So, I’ll allow myself today to grieve, but tomorrow I must be ready to protect hope and justice and equality with a tenacity and strength I never would have expected of myself before.

[bctt tweet=”I feel so disrespected, so betrayed, so hurt by these results. In fact, I feel violated. ” username=”wearethetempest”]

Believe it or not, I’m not angry. But I am heartbroken. As a Muslim, as a female, as an ally of the Black, LGBTQA, Native American, Hispanic, and other marginalized communities, and most importantly as an American, I am soul shattered.

I feel so disrespected, so betrayed, so hurt by these results. In fact, I feel violated. This nation is now represented by people that do not believe in the innate value of the lives of non-white bodies.

It’s frightening, I know. This is not a quick tragedy that we mourn. This is a horrifying reality that remains for at least four years. That we have to face every day for 1460 days. We will wake up every day to this unbelievable truth.

My mom was so worried about me as a Muslim student in the South, she was calling and texting me to be careful. To not create controversy. To not publicly identify as Muslim too much. We’ve never been a family that stands down; we have always risen above the challenge and used our voices and our skills to work toward a more unified community.

It was painful to hear the transparent fear in her voice. But I’m not going to cower.

Yes, I’m worried. I worry about gun safety. I worry about water security. I worry about marriage equality. I worry about women’s agency to make choices about their own bodies. I worry about immigration and refugees. I worry about the global economy. I worry about diplomatic relationships with international communities.

But that just means I have to work even harder and more fiercely.

At the end of the day, Donald does not scare me. What I most fear is this polarized nation which contains unhinged individuals who feel validated and legitimate in their hate and bigotry.

[bctt tweet=”We will show them that they do not have more hate and apathy than we do love and hope.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Today, selfishness and bigotry won. America may have lost this election. But America is not lost. Hope is not lost. Because every single day for the next four years we will show them that they do not have more hate and apathy than we do love and hope.

I don’t have the perfect words to inspire in the wake of this utterly sickening loss. Nothing I could say would provide comfort to wounded hearts today. I can only reaffirm my dedication to defend the America I believe in, the one I trust. The America that works tirelessly in the face of every obstacle for progress, for peace, and for equality. The years ahead of us are not more grim that what those before us have overcome and we owe it to them to continue the fight.

[bctt tweet=”This is America. Big and beautiful and maybe broken, but still America. And it is ours.” username=”wearethetempest”]

So I don’t want to hear about your hopelessness or giving up. Grieve today. Fight tomorrow. Do not, for a moment, let anyone make you feel like you don’t belong. Like you are less deserving of being in this country. This is still America. Big and beautiful and maybe broken, but still America.

And it is ours.