Movies, Pop Culture

5 too-real reasons why ‘DDLJ’ is the worst Bollywood movie ever

Yes, I understand that if you’re a Desi person reading this, you’re probably screaming at this blasphemy, but I have a reason. In fact, I have a few.

I’m pretty sure every Desi person and their moms started out watching Raj Malhotra and Simran Singh fall in love on the streets of Europe, while almost missing all sorts of trains.

IndiaTimes
IndiaTimes

Despite the fact that this is one of the only Bollywood movies that still is aired in Indian cinemas twenty-one years after initial release – I hate it.

Yes, I understand that if you’re a Desi person reading this, you’re probably screaming at this blasphemy, but I have a reason. In fact, I have a few reasons:

1. “I won’t go against your father’s wishes.”

You know those typical parents who move you out to the West, just until you’re old enough to get married, and then hope you end up finding the right guy/girl back home?

Yup, he’s that father. A pigeon-feeding father who literally waits ’til the very last moment to finally grant his daughter her wish (no, seriously, though).

Giphy

This is one of the first examples of how patriarchy is showcased in this movie – all the women are shown to be subservient. The men rule all the women’s lives to an extent where Simran can’t marry Raj, because not only does her father disapprove, but Raj says he won’t marry her until her father approves.

All of this happens, despite the fact that Simran’s mom literally asks them to run away. 

All the women seem to fumble around, while the men go out hunting, pigeon-feeding and playing football.

2. Simran Malhotra is annoying.

IndiaTimes
IndiaTimes

Forget about education or a career – all this woman dreamt of was her own Prince Charming. All she does is dream about love, talk about love, and cry about love. She has almost little to no actual personality.

She was grateful that Raj didn’t take advantage of her when she was unconscious.

 In fact, she goes on about how she’s indebted to him…to a potential creepy rapist. 

3. Raj Malhotra/Kuljeet/All the men in the movie.

Giphy

Despite the fact that Kuljeet and Raj are meant to be miles apart, they’re the same. Both are spoiled, both are entitled, both are disrespectful, and, frankly, both are stupid. Both men objectify women throughout the movie – yet one is criticized for it, while the other is placed on a pedestal.

Raj, our superstar, has a long history of failures, so how is he going to support Simran or their family? By singing songs? 

4. An unrealistically dumb love story, come on.

IndiaTimes
IndiaTimes

Don’t even get me started on this. This romantic love story is creepy, unrealistic, and perverse.

On their very first encounter, Simran is clearly disinterested, yet Raj tries to sneak into her personal space, throws a bra on her face and fires cheesy pickup lines. I don’t see a romantic hero, I see a roadside creep. He later almost kisses her in front of cops and makes it seem like they’ve slept together. All of this while he proudly affirms that he’s an Indian, and understands the importance of purity for an Indian woman.

Despite everything, Simran actually manages to fall for Raj, reaffirming the beliefs of every single creep in the country. It seems that in order to win over a girl, all you have to do is molest her, harass her, and torment her in every single way, till she gives in.

5. All the NRI-ness.

image source/ Yash Raj Films

Let’s make a drinking game: take a shot for every time someone says desh ki mitti. Almost all the characters are unhappy that they moved to a land that provided them with money and comfort and yearn to go back home. It’s almost irritating how many times they’ve said, “desh ki mitti” (my motherland’s clay).

HappyTango
HappyTango

Honestly, I think it’s time they take this movie down and people stop idolizing this horseshit.