What you’re about to read could be a review on Bad Moms. Or it could be a review on Ghostbusters. It could be a mix of both, or not really a review at all. I’m honestly on this journey with you because here is what I want to say:
I love women.
This was the thought in my head while I was watching Bad Moms. Like a tribal chant in my head, all I could think about while I saw Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn go ham in a grocery store fucking shit up was, “I love women.”
This sort of overwhelming emotion combusted while I was watching Ghostbusters just a couple of days afterwards (yes, I do have a lot of time on my hands, thank you for noticing) and Kate McKinnon graced the screen (and literally permanently stole a chunk of my heart). I have never watched the original Ghostbusters before, but I am assuming the character she played, Jillian Holtzmann, is some sort of female version of the weirdo/strange character in the original. You could tell me a basic Google search would provide me the answer so I could redeem myself from the reader’s judgment, but I don’t really care about seeming like I know what I’m talking about right now. Instead, what I want to talk about right now is my insane, bursting, exploding love for women, and so you either bear with me or you don’t.
[bctt tweet=”She just felt like a genuine weirdo, and I fell in love with her for it.” username=”wearethetempest”]
Anyways, back to McKinnon and her character on the movie. She was outrageous, awkward, goofy, and a lot of the times almost uncomfortable. She was a beautiful, gorgeous weirdo who danced in a way that made me feel alive. Yeah, I know you get those kinds of characters a lot in movies, but something about McKinnon’s portrayal of weirdo wasn’t forced or “this is what a female weirdo looks like.” She just felt like a genuine weirdo, and I fell in love with her for it.
So yeah, I’m obsessed with women. I’m obsessed with our strength, our intelligence, our compassion, our empathy, our beauty, our grace, our power, etc etc. I could go on forever if you let me. I don’t know how to make the connection between the two movies I just mentioned and this obsession, but like I said, I’m on this ride with you and hopefully we reach a collective point by the end of this article.
Because of my love of women, there are fewer things in life that annoy me as much as passive aggressive comments that dismiss women. I once worked in an all-girl team where my superior at the time said that she wishes there were men on the team because men were just more efficient (this superior also identified as anti-feminist so I don’t expect much from her). I have had plenty of close girl friends tell me I am their only friend who is a girl because they “just can’t get along with most girls.” I have clenched my fists every time some goddamn Uber driver makes some sexist joke as soon as I get into the car about how “women just love spending the guy’s money, am I right?” I clench even tighter when women in the car with me laugh along and agree.
[bctt tweet=” I could go on forever if you let me.” username=”wearethetempest”]
I am over this, do you hear me? I am over this 100 and fucking 50 percent. Yeah, I will vehemently argue with you the next goddamn time you tell me why you think women are just inherently bitchier because the only person who looks like an asshole when you say that is you, my friend. I will not let another guy explain to me why his ex-girlfriend or his sister or his neighbor was crazy because I’m done. I am so fucking done tearing women down.
I hope I do make you uncomfortable, Generic Boy, every time we are walking down a dark alley, and I tell you about how vastly different our experiences are walking down that alley. I will call you the fuck out, Old White Dude At The Cashier, when you tell me about how you’re a feminist, but there are some things in the universe that just fundamentally can’t change, like prescribed gender roles. I am so over being told I am aggressive and bossy because I, as your boss, gave you directions to follow, Boy Who Is Employed By Me.
[bctt tweet=”I am so fucking done tearing women down. ” username=”wearethetempest”]
Women, for the love of Mother Earth, stop taking pride in annexing yourself from other women. There is nothing beautiful in self-sabotage for an audience that will never treat you as their equal. You made this world ‒ quite literally. If it weren’t for the “female race,” none of us would fucking be here.
We put up, on a constant basis, with total bullshit. We are unbelievably resilient in the face of constant sexism and misogyny, both external and internal. We carry nations afloat all the while a male fill-in takes the credit for it. We get pushed away when history is retold, but we don’t fucking stop. We write those books, we fight those wars, we discover new scientific theories. They might not write our names down, but we must remind each other every day: we are the strongest, kindest force in this world, and no one, not a single goddamn person, should ever make us feel otherwise.
So yeah, I really enjoyed Ghostbusters and Bad Moms. I wanna see more women fuck shit up on my cinema screens, and moving forward, I want to see the majority of films about women fucking shit up being written by goddamn women. In fact, I just wanna see more films written by women.
I don’t care if it’s a film about drying paint, I will watch it if a women has directed it. Yeah, I know this article didn’t go into the delicacies within gender and race relations, but I came into this only with my mind howling, “I am in love with women!” on full blast, so I think your expectations of me should be lowered.