Love, Advice

Here’s how to move on when a friendship ends

Strange as it may seem, it can actually be harder to end a friendship than it is to end a relationship.

Hey Laila,

What’s the best way to admit to yourself that you and your “friend” aren’t technically friends anymore? Or at least back at the acquaintance level? Should I tell them?

– Help Me

______________

Hey Help Me,

First off, kudos to you for recognizing that some people aren’t meant to be friends with you forever. For a lot of people our age, that just isn’t something we’re willing to admit. It’s a reality I had to face with a few people, so here are a few questions you should ask yourself:

1. Is it emotionally/mentally draining for you to spend time with this person? Do you spend more time taking care of their emotional/mental needs than they do with you?

2. Do you trust this person?

3. Do you enjoy spending time with this person?

Friendship is more than just hanging out and talking – it is, at its very core, the opportunity to share your valuable time, space and self with a person who respects your autonomy and worth. Once that stops happening, they bump down to someone you say hi to every once in a while – otherwise, you’re selling yourself short.

[bctt tweet=”Friendship is meant to be a positive, real experience – not an exhausting job.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I’ve found that simply phasing out a former friend – being “busy” or less responsive to their requests – generally, gives them an understanding of where you are these days. However, should they ask, and you feel comfortable doing so, letting them know that you’re not on the same page anymore and for that, it would be better to stay acquaintances, it can save you from straight up denouncing any ties you ever had to the person.

[bctt tweet=” Is it emotionally/mentally draining for you to spend time with this person? ” username=”wearethetempest”]

Friendship is meant to be a positive, real experience – not an exhausting job. Sure, there are ups and downs, but if your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s time to listen to it.

 

Kick some ass,

Laila

 

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