Gender & Identity, Life

21 realities I get tired of really quickly in Christian circles

Sweet Jesus.

I identify as a Nondenominational Christian, and I’m proud to identify the way I do. However, I also identify as a Christian woman of color, so identifying with a religion that receives a log of privilege in the United States, I’ve gotten tired of the same things that happen over and over again.

DISCLAIMER: Strong language is coming your way. I promise there is a reason for it.

1. The “But God is Spirit” excuse for being “colorblind.”

Yes, it is in our belief system that God is Spirit. But if He was colorblind, why create humanity in so many different colors?

2. Saying “God’s not calling me to that right now” in response to social justice causes.

I get that not everyone is called to a social justice oriented career or even every rally around social justice. However, it ticks me off when Christians say that, because God calls us to love our neighbors, who are those different from us, well, by getting out of our comfort zones in some form and fashion.

3. Saying “I don’t go to church to hear all of that negativity.”

Yes, the news can be jarring:

Of course, church should be a space of positivity, but it should also be a place of acknowledging the flaws in our world, so we can figure out how to live in it.

4. No expansion in music choices.

Contemporary white Hillsong vibe churches, I love y’all, but I’m talking to you.

5. “Lovely to meet you” *pinches a hair curl*


I hate going to a church for the first time, and people think it’s okay to touch my hair without my permission. Nice to meet you too, Praise the Lord, but did I say you could touch it?

6. Not the conservative conversations, but the TOO conservative conversations.

Excuse me while I go hide in the church bathroom, as I wait for y’all to be done.

7. “What do you need therapy for? Just pray about it!”

Black churches, especially. I love y’all, but I’m talking to you.

8. The statement “Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

No, you love them as a whole person. Use that phrase again, people have every right to respond like this:

9. “God will surely find a partner for you.”

Hey, Jesus was single, remember Him? He depended on Himself, why can’t others?

10. “Are you going into missions/ministry?” asked a thousand times by the same person.

Yes, we need more people of color in that field, but just because people go to church, it doesn’t mean every person is called to that. Please stop that.

11. “But don’t ALL lives matter?”

Don’t. Just…don’t.

12. The furthest a person will go in discussing diversity is “foreign causes.”

Oh, you want to talk about the one missions trip you took to Africa, but you won’t go downtown because you’re scared? Hmph.

13. Making non-Christians uncomfortable when invited to church.

You honestly believe they’ll want to get to know Christianity when our community does stuff like this?

14. Use of the phrase “those people.


You do see me standing right in front of you, right? I know some days I may not “look black,” but come on.

15. People trying to hook you up with a “Nice Christian Man.”

Sweet Jesus…

16. “You’re so exotic. God created beautiful people, you know.”

Excuse me while I try to escape to look up Scripture on how the Lord can protect me from creepers like you…

17. Using The Fall as an excuse for gender roles.

It was not God’s will for Eve to be submissive to Adam; the patriarchy is a product of the Fall, not a product of God. Stop using God as an excuse to be a jerk!

*inhale, exhale*

18. Not acknowledging the negative history of Christianity (e.g. colonialism, slavery, etc.).

The Bible is filled with screw-ups, that’s why some people convert to Christianity. It’s okay to talk about our community’s screw-ups.

19. Not being able to admit that Christian entertainment sucks.

It’s too preachy, cheesy, and the only successful film with a dominant cast of people of color was War Room, and it was shit.

20. Slow initiatives to expand the diversity of the Church.

Organizations such as InterVarsity and The Reformation Project have awesome initiatives, and I’m happy to be interning with a Christian non-profit that focuses on cross-cultural work. It’d be nice to see it as the norm, though, and not as some odd concept that isn’t required to be achieved.

21. Christians who won’t read this all the way through for a new perspective.


Did you get this far? If so, will you at least see where I’m coming from

  • Maya Williams

    Maya Williams has her Bachelor’s in Social Work and Bachelor’s in English from East Carolina University. She also has her Master’s in Social Work and Certificate in Applied Arts and Social justice from the University of New England. She has published articles and poems on sites such as The Tempest, INTER, Black Girl Nerds, Multiracial Media, GlitterMOB, and Soft Cartel. In her spare time, she enjoys writing and performing spoken word poetry, facilitating writing workshops for youth, and watching movies/musicals.