Love, Life Stories

My brother got married, and everything changed

The question soon turned from “Would he ever find someone?” to “How did he get so lucky?”

My brother and I have never been close siblings in the traditional sense – I never told him my secrets and I’m sure he’s never disclosed much to me.

But with just an 18-month age difference between us, I can’t remember a single memory that he wasn’t a part of. He was the mischievous little terror that would run around the apartment as my mom tried to discipline him. And one of my earliest memories is watching her run off to the hospital because my brother had decided to go down the slide head first and needed stitches on his head.

[bctt tweet=”But with just an 18-month age difference between us, I can’t remember a single memory that he wasn’t a part of.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I don’t think anyone would say he was an easy child, but he sure did make life colorful for the adults in our family.

As we grew older, we drifted apart as different schools, friends, and hobbies took over our lives. Although we continued to live in the same house until he was 23 and I was 21, sometimes days would go by before I saw him at the dinner table. We were lost in our own worlds and rarely communicated beyond, “Move your car out of the driveway!” and “Did you eat all the leftover Chinese food?!” It wasn’t until he moved home again, when we were both in our mid-20s, that we started connecting beyond what had always been. Along with our youngest sister, we took “Javed squad” trips, immensely enjoyed family dinners, and openly discussed our plans to stay a tightly connected family unit.

And now, over two decades have passed since we were tiny tots, and he’s about to be married.

[bctt tweet=”And now, over two decades have passed since we were tiny tots, and he’s about to be married.” username=”wearethetempest”]

I’ll admit, my younger sister and I often wondered if he’d ever find anyone who’d put up with his specific brand of weirdness. As the only boy and oldest in the family, we complained daily about the preferential treatment he received from our parents and schemed about ways to get back at him for making fun of us. We had to put up with all of it because we were his sisters, but what other girl would?

Then he met his fiancée. I can clearly remember the excitement in his voice as he told us about her and shoved his phone at us so we could see her picture. She was beautiful. And smart, kind, loving, and fun, we soon found out.

The question soon turned from “Would he ever find someone?” to “How did he get so lucky?”

After they got engaged, my best friend asked me if it was weird that there was suddenly a girl in my brother’s life when for so long the only female input he had was that of my mom, my sister, and me. It was a little weird, I admitted, but a good kind of weird. I was excited that he was getting a fresh new perspective on his life and his choices, and in the months that followed, we saw him break out of his shell more and more. Her kindhearted spirit, outgoing personality, and positive attitude when faced with life’s challenges often seemed to be the perfect balm to his wounds.

As they started planning the rest of their lives, I started thinking about what my own relationship with my new sister-in-law would be like. I had only met her a couple times and didn’t really know her – but what I knew, I liked. More importantly though, I wanted her to like me. I moved away from home before their wedding, and I knew I wouldn’t get to spend much time becoming her friend. We kept up via texts, and while that’s not always the most solid way to communicate, I felt like I got to know her more with every part of her life she opened up to me via text and Snapchat.

A sibling getting married can be difficult for many reasons – you feel a sense of loss from one of the most important relationships in your life, family dynamics change, and there’s suddenly a brand new person living in your home. But, as I came to realize in the past several months, you gain so much more. Take it from someone who will fight to the death to protect the female relationships in her life – you can never have too many sisters, God’s greatest blessings.

[bctt tweet=”You can never have too many sisters, God’s greatest blessings.” username=”wearethetempest”]