Love + Sex, Love

This is for all my single friends wanting to get married

The truth is that I don’t know if or when Prince Charming will ride into your life.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that you’re met with my blank stares and helpless expressions as you tell me about your disappointment and fear for the future.

I’m sorry I have no advice to dispense, or soothing words to allay your fears. The truth is that I don’t know if or when Prince Charming will ride into your life.

If you’ve asked me to keep an eye out for any eligible bachelors, believe me when I say that I am. I want nothing more than your happiness – whether you want to be married or are perfectly content staying single.

But I’m also your friend first and want you to have a man you deserve. If all I see around me are immature boys, you better believe that I’m not going to be bringing them up as potentials for you.

If you’ve asked me to keep an eye out for eligible bachelors, believe me when I say I am. Click To Tweet

I’m not going to sit here and tell you that the right man is around the corner. I have no way of peeking around the corner to see what life has in store.

I also refuse to pretend that life is worth it only if you have a man by your side. As a married woman, all I can honestly say is that marriage is hard. It fulfills me in so many ways, but it’s also one of the hardest adjustments I have had to make in my life. It’s not better or worse than single-hood. It’s just a different part of life’s journey.

I don’t look at you with pity, or envy, or concern. And you have my promise that I won’t tell you what you should be doing to “better” your chances at finding a husband. I am content knowing that God’s plan is undoubtedly greater than anything I could come up with. Wherever we are in our lives, I know we are each meant to be there.

I also refuse to pretend that life is worth it only if you have a man by your side. Click To Tweet

Although I know and believe all of this, I’m sorry I didn’t jump to your defense when that Auntie lamented about your “aging” self and criticized your ability to find a man. I’m sorry I sat there quietly and awkwardly while your single status was passed around the living room as public property to be picked apart and discussed.

I’m sorry I sat there and stewed, thinking of a million comebacks I should throw out, but didn’t have the courage to. And as I saw you struggle to defend yourself, then finally quiet down and withdraw into yourself, I’m sorry I failed at being the friend you needed me to be.

This is my promise to do better, to be better.

With every bit of sincerity in my heart, I say: You. Are. More.

You are more than your skin tone, height, weight, and education level. To my girls that have put themselves out there and gotten hurt, and those that don’t want to risk getting attached, you are all more.

You are more than your skin tone, height, weight, and education level. Click To Tweet

Life isn’t a race to get married, or a race to have children, or a race to buy a house. Life isn’t any kind of race towards an imaginary finish line of success.

All I’m certain about is that life’s journey is a long, winding path littered with trials, tribulations, and forks in the road.

If the desire and struggle to get married is your current test, I’m sorry that all I can offer is to hold your hand and walk with you wherever the path may lead. I hope it’s enough.