Love, Advice

How do I tell my crush that I actually like them – without scaring them off?

I'm so worried I'll scare them off. I know that's stupid, but STILL.

Dear Madame Lestrange,

I have a crush on a guy, but I don’t (and NEVER do) know what to do now. How do I tell him? Do I tell him? I don’t want to scare him off or come on too strong. Help!!




Dear Crushin,

How exciting! I love crushes — that feeling of finally finding someone you like who’s interesting and cute and fun and gives you those butterflies. Immediately followed by, “Fuck – now what?”

Definitely tell your crush you like them. Otherwise, you’re relying on them and that’s silly. If you like someone, don’t expect *them to be the one to make the move – why should you? Sure, for some people this might work. But for so many reasons it could also not. Like, what if that person is oblivious? What if they’re so shy? What if they think it’s disrespectful to you or your friendship to say anything even though they really want to because they think you’re not into them? See. So many reasons.

So tell them. Straight up – hey, I think you’re really cool and interesting and (all the things), I’m interested in taking you out on a date – what do you think? Or whatever works for you to say. But be direct. Don’t make the person have to interpret what you’re saying!

[bctt tweet=”If they gotta problem with it, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM.” username=”wearethetempest”]

Don’t be scared. Honestly, what could you possibly lose by telling them? The worst is that they don’t feel the same way. It happens. It’s happened to people who’ve been interested in you. It’s normal. But that doesn’t mean you don’t try. If you tell them, they say “I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same way” — bam, at least you know and don’t have to spend the next however long pining over them or being confused about next steps.

Depending on maturity levels, friendship interests, or even how likely you are to keep pining anyway — you can figure it out from there. But…there’s the whole possibility that they do also feel the same way! In which case, YAY, you told them, now you know they feel the same way, and shit can go down!

[bctt tweet=”Scared of talking to your crush? Here’s how to do it.” username=”wearethetempest”]

If sharing how you feel scared them off, they’re immature and weird! It shouldn’t scare someone off or seem too strong for you to be like “hey, I like you.” That’s not too strong! It’s not threatening! It’s not weird. It’s an honest, mature way to handle your feelings for someone. If they gotta problem with it, I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THEM.

Just be yourself! Let them know how you feel, and then let things fall naturally. If they like you, too, don’t freak out about what to do next. They already like you for who you are, and that’s what they want from you anyway. You are perfect how you are! Now go get ‘em.

You’re welcome,

Madame Lestrange


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