Hey Madame Lestrange,
I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and he really likes me. I think he’s cool but not so sure I want to actually date anyone right now. Focusing on school and friends has been great. But my parents and friends and everyone else are also always asking about why I’m not with someone or that I’m not married yet. I don’t know what to do.
If you’re not in a place in your life where you want to be dating, don’t! There is absolutely NO reason for you to be in a relationship or in anything serious if that’s not what you want right now. And there is nothing wrong with that, either. I think it’s shitty that so much of what we’re meant to be proud for or happy about or live for is romantic relationships. Especially as a woman. If you’re satisfied with focusing on school and friends…if that’s what’s keeping you happy right now, stick to it. At the end of the day, your happiness is what’s important.
[bctt tweet=”Maybe this is your gut telling you he’s not right for you.” username=”wearethetempest”]
It’s also completely possible that since you’re not actively interested in being with someone else, your gut is letting you know that the person you’re seeing right now isn’t for you. Even if everything in your life is going amazingly well, I think that if someone really good for you came around, you’d want to be with them. You’d make time for them. You’d be actively interested in adding this person to your already spectacular life.
Maybe this guy isn’t your one. And since other parts of your life are satisfying, you have no need to waste your time.
[bctt tweet=”You’ll never have to sacrifice friendships or your passion for the right person.” username=”wearethetempest”]
Don’t listen to everyone in your life pressuring you to get with someone. It’s obnoxious as hell and pretty much omnipresent. But it’s not a good reason to date someone when (1) you’re not fully interested and (2) you have other things going for yourself that you wanna focus on. Don’t let them make you feel bad for focusing on things in your life that not only make you happy but are also legitimately important.
Having friendships is vital to your happiness. Getting your degree and studying what you’re passionate about is vital to your happiness. Don’t let them block your shine. Unfortunately, not many people feel that they’re totally happy with their studies and work and friends – people get lonely and want a significant other. But if you’re not there in your life, then WHATEVER! Do you and be happy.
Do you and be happy.
When the right person comes along at the right time, you’ll know, and things can shift around then. And always remember – you’ll never have to sacrifice friendships or your scholarly (or other) passions for the right person. When someone is a good fit for you, they’re a good fit for every aspect of your life. Let this guy go if he’s not that, and keep being awesome on your own.
Do you have any questions for Madame Lestrange? She’ll answer your questions on love, sex, and relationships.