Life Stories

I was scared of being called a loner

The only people I depend on for anything now is me, myself, and I.

Everyone says friendships never last, especially in high school. Don’t even get me started on how much drama consumed most of my high school career. None of my close friends even went to my school, so when I stopped becoming friends with certain people, I took it as a positive change to my life.

Growing up, I was always scared to be independent. I felt like I always had to depend on someone to be happy in school or to provide me with friendships. But the truth is, I hated it. I hated feeling like I always had to be with someone or with a group of people to not look like a “loser” or a “loner.” Sometimes I just wanted to do things my way, so that’s what I started doing.

For the past couple of years, I stopped being dependent on others in every aspect of my life. When high school came around and friendships broke off, I took it as a way to become more independent and comfortable with myself. I didn’t need to follow in anyone else’s footsteps anymore. And it felt amazing.

I could now be independent and do whatever the heck I wanted to do. It wasn’t about fitting into a group or worrying what others thought about me. I could carry out my daily life in any which way I wanted to, which is how it should always be.

My high school was always super clique-y as it is, but as soon as I became independent, I didn’t really care about what others were doing and that I wasn’t in a designated “group.” I had my own good friends inside and outside of school and I didn’t have to adhere to a friend group to be happy. Not to mention that it’s senior year now and that I don’t really care about anything school related anymore (except for my grades).

This independence led to my maturity. And when I took off for 3 weeks for different summer programs, I felt even more independent being away from my family and being able to take care of myself completely on my own. Not gonna lie, it felt pretty good being able to manage being away from home for so long.

Reaching independence to me meant so much more than just freedom. It meant that now I could do literally whatever I wanted and not have to worry about what everyone else thought about me. And it meant I was strong enough and capable enough to leave home for college when time comes next year. Being independent definitely doesn’t mean cutting people off or hating being around your family, it just means you’re one step closer to adulthood.