Politics, News

4 horrible ways to Trump your chances at the presidency

Donald Trump. The name that is known throughout the globe for making babies cry and the Republican Party cry even harder.

As we television-owning humans are aware, Donald Trump has been receiving quite a bit of media attention since his announcement to run for President this summer. Fortunately, since the United States is not comprised of an idiotic majority, most of this media attention has revolved around Trump’s impeccable lack of respectful character, as well as his probable inability to lead a country.

Of course, one could create an entire library based on the amount of times Donald Trump has pushed his foot into his mouth. Hell; I, myself, could probably create a library based solely on how many times his campaign manager has slammed his head into a wall these past couple of months. However, nobody has enough time to read through an entire library, and Jon Stewart is no longer here to cover Trump’s slip-ups for us.

Thus, allow me to present to you 4 times that Donald Trump really, really proved himself unworthy of the White House.

1. “They’re bringing drugs, they’re rapists… and some of them, I assume, are good people.”

I suppose it’s always best to begin with the classics. Not too long ago, in a land that is probably very, very close in proximity to where you are sitting, Donald Trump tackled the subject of immigration, specifically in regards to the U.S-Mexico border. During this speech – and yes, he said this out loud – Trump accused almost all Mexican immigrants of being drug dealers and rapists.

However, he ought to be given credit for the wee little percentage of immigrants whom he “assumed” are good people. That’s real kind of ya, Donald.

2. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”

Donald Trump owns a television show called The Apprentice. There are women on that show. Since it is his show, he is on set quite a bit. I believe that is enough said.

Also, please note the above utilized language in his statement. There’s another faceprint in the nearest wall by his campaign manager.

3. “I have a great relationship with the blacks.”

Unbeknownst to him, Trump does not have the greatest relationship with the African American community.

In a book written by John O’Donnell back in the dark days of the 80’s, Donald Trump dictated: “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day.” Behold: double racism and bigotry whammy.

Not too long afterward, Trump was quoted expressing his expertise in the human psyche, saying that “laziness is a trait in blacks.”

It took quite a while for Trump to add the whipped cream on top, however. This past June, he announced his desire for Oprah to join him on the ticket. Needless to say, this announcement resulted in very little Oprah. She must have read up on his “great relationship with the blacks.”

4. “Sorry losers and haters, but my I.Q. is one of the highest!”

Throughout all of this turmoil that has been caused by Donald Trump’s mouth, let us not forget that his character (or lack of, depending on your linguistic perspective) is also present on social media. In a truly historical tweet, Trump assures the global community that it not their fault he is so unintelligent. I mean, that he’s so smart.

My bad.